I feel like the worst person ever. 2013 was a very good year for me, life has treated me well and professionally it couldn't have been any better. My first papers were published on renowned medical journals and on march I start my medical specialty as a pediatrician...and yet I'm bitter and feel incomplete. Today is my 7th 'monthiversary' with my boyfriend but we are going through a hard time. After a little argument a few days ago he told me it was better not to speak for a week and rethink if our relationship is working. I've been sad ever since and haven't had much sleep. I'm staying at my parents' house and they have noticed I'm a bit down; however, I can't share any of my issues with them since my dad doesn't know I'm gay (my mom does but she didn't like it that much when she discovered it). To make matters worse my sister came over for lunch and the topic came up about me looking for a place to move out. She argued I should should be more thankful and don't move out if it was not strictly necessary since they have given me everything I ever needed and I shouldn't leave them alone just like that. I couldn't take it anymore and I kind of exploded. I told her it was easy for her to say that since she is married and living in her own place with her husband. Of course my parents took everything I said as if they were some sort of weight for me and instead of getting mad they got sad. And now I kind of ruined new years eve.
What I hate the most is that the main reason I wanted to move out was to live with my boyfriend but now I don't even now if our relationship is going to last. He's been acting like a douche during the time off he imposed. I've been calling, texting and e-mailing him and he won't answer any of them. He said this time-off was for the best and for me to experience a little freedom (he says he suffocates me with his jealousy) but he doesn't understand I'm fine with the way he is and I don't want this freedom he keeps talking about. Now that all this happened I can't help but blame him for my bad mood and being a shit son today. When he finally contacts me after the 7 days he said, I'm not sure if I'll be willing to act as if it never happened or tell him it is now me who needs time.