I really cannot seem to find anyone that will hold a conversation. I've gotten a few numbers, but they hardly text back, and if they do it's like a one off thing, so I give up. It's so funny when they're always "too busy", yet Tinder says otherwise. I'm sure you've all been through it before, though. It's quite comical sometimes. Really wish people would just be up front about stuff. If you don't wanna talk, cool. Just say it.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
j0hnnix
Member
It's looking good were joking around but the whole getting to know each other phase sometimes gets slow and mundane since you went through this process already and have to start over again..
j0hnnix
Member
Its a good hint that they're not worth your time.. move on.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Most of the people I converse with have been like that. I give them up to 3 or 4 responses to ask me a question or to reciprocate texting me first after me doing it 3 or so times.
It usually means they found someone else to talk to or whatever, so not much you can do.
Honestly, sometimes carrying the conversation is just part of the game when it comes to online dating, or Tinder at the very least.
Gotta steer the conversation in a fun/interesting/engaging way. And when you've got the number, don't feel the need to text them aside from setting up a date to meet.
Gotta steer the conversation in a fun/interesting/engaging way. And when you've got the number, don't feel the need to text them aside from setting up a date to meet.
That's because sheep can't text, buddy
So I spotted a girl who used to work in my area at my job on pof. Never spoke to her as our paths never really crossed and she didn't seem the talkative type anyway at work, but always had a crush on her. (And she left a month or two after I joined)
Thinking I should message her, but not really sure how to phrase it.
Was thinking something like
"Hey,
Are you the [name here] that work at [Company]? I worked a couple of rows down from you and always wanted to say Hi to you, but I suck at coffee point talk
What you up to nowadays?"
etc Probably take out the coffee point bit I guess
Thinking I should message her, but not really sure how to phrase it.
Was thinking something like
"Hey,
Are you the [name here] that work at [Company]? I worked a couple of rows down from you and always wanted to say Hi to you, but I suck at coffee point talk
What you up to nowadays?"
etc Probably take out the coffee point bit I guess
Chance Hale
Member
Just signed up for tinder and I'm having issues with the WP Timber app. Trying to add other photos to the 4 slots besides the profile picture just replaces that picture.
Edit: Nevermind, resetting seems to have fixed it.
Edit 2: Damn, it's really easy to accidentally x someone you didn't mean to :/
Edit: Nevermind, resetting seems to have fixed it.
Edit 2: Damn, it's really easy to accidentally x someone you didn't mean to :/
redhairedking
Junior Member
I need some advice. I keep getting some really cute matched on CMB but I pass because they're a couple of hours away and I won't be able to meet them for a date soon. Should I keep passing or should I just start saying yes and see who I get for some practice?
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
As many as you want.
Chances are the person you're talking to isn't just talking to you.
See, that's my way of thinking but, apparentky, talking to ten or more (I have fifteen conversations on the go) is disgraceful.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'd say that you need to reframe the question - talking to girls isn't that big of a deal, but for sanity's sake alone, you might want to soft cap the amount of girls you're going out with. But for talking, there's no point in doing that: sometimes, the conversations will fade; they'll delete their account with no notice; or you'll shift into a more friends-based relationship, whether you or she initiates it.
So, I'll ask the question: how many girls is it acceptable to casually date at once?
jadedm17
Member
If you can keep track of it then there's no harm. Personally I get lost after three or so, and once youre actually seeing them thats (obviously) far too many to keep track and date. Talking to online though? Whatever you can handle.
stn
Member
@CyanideStrike
Its not only okay to talk to as many girls at once, its also okay to date many at once. Heck, if you can date 30 girls a week, you do it (for example). You only have to limit it to one girl after you've moved on from casual dating with one girl. They're doing the same.
Its not only okay to talk to as many girls at once, its also okay to date many at once. Heck, if you can date 30 girls a week, you do it (for example). You only have to limit it to one girl after you've moved on from casual dating with one girl. They're doing the same.
As I'm waiting for the 32 year old to pick me up to get it on, I suddenly found myself with dates back to back tomorrow on top of this DTF encounter (pun not intended):
Girl 1: 20 yr old Brazilian Au Pair in staying in the neighboring state for 3 more months before she goes back home. Nice girl. Meeting with her at Starbucks at 3PM tomorrow to walk around. Gonna have to come back home early to shower and get rid of the sex smell.
Girl 2: 21 yr old from Texas who's here until Monday only as is looking for someone to show her a good time. It so happens that yours truly got messaged by her first. It's legit. Gonna meet up with her around 8 or 9. Pretty sure it's gonna end up with sex since she's looking for fun.
Anyone wanna trade places? My wallet is gonna take a walloping especially since I did some Black Friday shopping. Don't get money until Monday. = Welp, let's hope I hit a home run tonight and tomorrow guys. Huzzah!
Girl 1: 20 yr old Brazilian Au Pair in staying in the neighboring state for 3 more months before she goes back home. Nice girl. Meeting with her at Starbucks at 3PM tomorrow to walk around. Gonna have to come back home early to shower and get rid of the sex smell.
Girl 2: 21 yr old from Texas who's here until Monday only as is looking for someone to show her a good time. It so happens that yours truly got messaged by her first. It's legit. Gonna meet up with her around 8 or 9. Pretty sure it's gonna end up with sex since she's looking for fun.
Anyone wanna trade places? My wallet is gonna take a walloping especially since I did some Black Friday shopping. Don't get money until Monday. = Welp, let's hope I hit a home run tonight and tomorrow guys. Huzzah!
Could you use a little bit of constructive criticism.
I was wondering if this is a good picture to have as a profile picture on Tinder and OkC? I haven't been getting any matches recently, sadly.
Granted, I just started a new Tinder profile today.
Sigh... easily the hardest part of the online dating scene, I think, is taking or finding a good quality photo of yourself.
I was wondering if this is a good picture to have as a profile picture on Tinder and OkC? I haven't been getting any matches recently, sadly.
Granted, I just started a new Tinder profile today.
Sigh... easily the hardest part of the online dating scene, I think, is taking or finding a good quality photo of yourself.
redhairedking
Junior Member
I've heard that selfies are generally not a good idea, and that smiling goes a long way. I haven't gotten any matches yet so who knows
It depends on the demographic you're going after. Selfies say "I don't hang out with people" or "I think I look my best in the bathroom by myself." That wins some people over, but it's not the best foot forward with most women.
How to get around this? Stand in your kitchen with a smile like you're at a party, put a delay on your phone's camera, prop it up on a shelf and stand back! Presto. Or, you know, have other people take your picture.
Sorry guys, I couldn't go through with it. We didn't have sex at all, just talked. It was eating away at my conscious the moment I saw her. She didn't look like I imagined her as my gut feeling about her being self-conscious about her body was right. I told her so and she said she understood. Told her it was nothing personal and that we should be friends. The last straw for her was that I told her I was buzzed to which she drove me back to the subway station to take back into Manhattan. I feel like an asshole now but as the saying goes, the truth will set you free and it definitely set me free. Morally, it felt right to do since I would've had a guilty conscious by not being honest and keeping it bottled up. Here's to the two hang outs being fun though.
On another note, I haven't been able to figure out how to go about a conversation on Tinder. Is it generally accepted to just give your number as the first message, or maybe after a few messages?
It's weird using Tinder. I'm not entirely sure how to initiate conversations since there's... usually nothing to go about under than their pictures.
It's weird using Tinder. I'm not entirely sure how to initiate conversations since there's... usually nothing to go about under than their pictures.
Yeah, this is my way of tbinking. Talking to and casually dating a nunber of girls is fine. But if sonething starts to get serious, stay with one. Which is what U plan to do. There's one girl who has shown a LOT of interest in me on OKCuoid. She's 23, Irish and seems awesome as fuck. We exchanged nunbers pretty fast and spenr all night talking. I may invest my time with this one.
After a few messages. You don't want to get your eggs in a basket by instantly offering up your number since it's kinda desperate/creepy. Gotta build a rapport first before going for the number. Personally I tend not to overthink messages and go with a how's it going/how's your day/weekend been going?
After my above epiphany, I was reminded of the fact that Tinder can be a bunch of smoke and mirrors. Pictures are everywhere so take some of the pics you see with a grain of salt.
redhairedking
Junior Member
Guys help, my bagel today on CMB seems perfect based on her profile but she lives 2.5 hours away.
You would have to consider the pro's and con's.
It is a dating website called Coffee Meets Bagel. It is different in the sense that you are paired up with someone once a day. You either say yes to the person or no to the person. It is only when you both say yes, that you can message one another. You can't browse profiles on there either.
redhairedking
Junior Member
I decided to just say yes and figure it out if she also says yes.
Date with Brazilian girl went well. It was nice and simple but good. She laughed at my corny jokes and walked next to me. Didn't make out with her in the end because I didn't want to force it so I hugged her. Hopefully I can hang out with her again.
Pretty sure girl 2 is gonna flake on me since it sounded too good to be true so I ain't even mad. She keeps making excuses as did another girl who's number I tried to get. I'm marching to the beat of my own drum.
Pretty sure girl 2 is gonna flake on me since it sounded too good to be true so I ain't even mad. She keeps making excuses as did another girl who's number I tried to get. I'm marching to the beat of my own drum.
redhairedking
Junior Member
Glad to see you aren't worrying about it! You got one good date so I'd call that a victory.
TheAbsolution
Member
Just joined OKCupid just to check it out.
We'll see how it goes.
Already got 4 likes and a message back from a dude so I'm pretty excited to see if this works out for me.
Any tips?
We'll see how it goes.
Already got 4 likes and a message back from a dude so I'm pretty excited to see if this works out for me.
Any tips?
How your profile is laid out is essential to getting hits. Mine was shit and got me nothing. A bit of tweaking and I was, and still am, getting a load of traffic. For reference, here's my profile.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/randomcountdown
Other than that, ask interesting questions when messaging someone for the first time rather than the usual 'lol hi ur fit' crap - nobody wants to hear that. And be yourself.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/randomcountdown
Other than that, ask interesting questions when messaging someone for the first time rather than the usual 'lol hi ur fit' crap - nobody wants to hear that. And be yourself.
I'm going to end things with the tinder woman I have been seeing for the past three months. Three months of dating and I can say I don't see it going anywhere. I thought it was because of school/work that I didn't want a relationship, but I spend (and slept over) time with her the other night, and came to the realization that I don't want anything with her. It was fun while it lasted.
I ended up doing some "solitary enjoyment" and went to see a live variety show alone as well as getting some food. It was my recharge time after seeing people for 2 days in a row so I definitely enjoyed myself. Still talking to the Brazilian girl but she responds slowly and sporadically.
Hahaha, I think that's a bit brash as even the busiest of people can make time to hang out. It sounds like she wants to see you so it's only a matter of time before either she loses interest or you lose interest in meeting up. Either that, or if you're like me and every other person you'll get caught up in your daily lives that you'll forget to hit girls up.
I say this from personal experience since I tried to meet up with this girl who had a full time job versus my student life. Texted the whole time so when it finally came a day to meet up with her, it was under a bad circumstance; I canned it to go to my friend's college party and she made the excuse that she got up at 4AM so she was gonna go home. A few days later, she texted me saying it wasn't going to work out since we have different lives to which I agreed but suggested staying friends. I never heard from her again. I can also tell you about the long distance thing with this other girl that never lead to meeting up. I left the ball in her court to hit me up when she's free but realistically it hasn't and probably won't happen that I moved on.
j0hnnix
Member
I figured it was a bit harsh but oh well if she's not interested enough its not a big deal.. ill move on to the next.
The Irish girl I'm talking to (from OKCupid) has taken a shine to me in a big way. She's talkong marriage and kids. Crazy shit, right? I should bail out immediately but, well, she's gorgeous and really wants to do the dirty with me. She looks proper wife material, too. The whole marriage and kids thing is way too foreard, right? Should I bail or stick with it and just see what happens?
NoctisVsStar
Member
she's trying to wrap you up quick..shiett if some starts talking kids and marriage to me i'll get scared but that's just me.. Just try to go slowly or ask her to go slowly but proceed with caution with fellow gaffer
You know what's annoying as hell? The chicks who have their main profile pic with them and their friends, and it turns out everyone in the pic is smoking hot except one, and you're hoping that it's not the one who's profile this is, but then you scroll down a bit and find out that's the case. :/
Happens pretty fucking often in my experience.
Nice profile. And you say it's actually helped a lot with chicks messaging you?
The hell? How long have you been talking to her?
Happens pretty fucking often in my experience.
Nice profile. And you say it's actually helped a lot with chicks messaging you?
The hell? How long have you been talking to her?
Yeah, man. The profile makes me come across as arrogant but the girls seem to love it. I get at least five messages a day saying they love my confidence.
As for the Irish girl, we've been talking a week and a bit. I must be irresistible to women, haha.
Damn, nice! Might have to modify my own in that fashion.
While it doesn't happen very often, literally every instance where a woman I've talked to who seems really eager to meet and starts talking about starting a family and such ends up pretty badly. I urge extreme caution, and try not to hand out your number if possible.
Alright, so my annoying samey posts have been posted and I appreciate all the advice I was given, but I have one problem that seems to still not have gone away.
I am not blonde anymore which according to the general public, is an improvement
I thought that my hair change might raise interest and it has but not in the best way, all it is now is just guys thinking im some seductress which I am not. FYI I changed my hair because the blonde was hurting my hair too much.
I have been on some dates that seemed successful, they smile/laugh, find out shared interests, keep eye contact, and then after the date say that they had an amazing time and that they really like me... I am not getting kissed after these dates (not that its mandatory I just find it weird that its happening so often now). Then after that day they start to slowly stop texting me and either get sick for our next date or never set up another date. I am getting really annoyed by this shit and I am trying to think of what I am doing wrong. I dress for the weather but still look nice, I have not been showing any cleavage lately maybe thats why lol.
I feel like its because I am not flirty on my dates, I treat them like a friend but I do smile and show interest and listen/respond to everything they say...I dont know.
What do you all think? Is my lack of eyelash batting or tit display the problem?
I am not blonde anymore which according to the general public, is an improvement
I thought that my hair change might raise interest and it has but not in the best way, all it is now is just guys thinking im some seductress which I am not. FYI I changed my hair because the blonde was hurting my hair too much.
I have been on some dates that seemed successful, they smile/laugh, find out shared interests, keep eye contact, and then after the date say that they had an amazing time and that they really like me... I am not getting kissed after these dates (not that its mandatory I just find it weird that its happening so often now). Then after that day they start to slowly stop texting me and either get sick for our next date or never set up another date. I am getting really annoyed by this shit and I am trying to think of what I am doing wrong. I dress for the weather but still look nice, I have not been showing any cleavage lately maybe thats why lol.
I feel like its because I am not flirty on my dates, I treat them like a friend but I do smile and show interest and listen/respond to everything they say...I dont know.
What do you all think? Is my lack of eyelash batting or tit display the problem?
I (hopefully) stopped my Online-Dating Adventure Last Week.
I was using a Phone App called "Lovoo" (pretty popular here in Germany), and i got some, well, interesting Results in that Last Year while i've been using it. I've been writing to around 3-5 Girls Daily, got a response at every 10th.-15th Message, ended up having 3 Dates, got Laid once, and found 2 Contacts.
So yeah, not something i am willing to do again. I spent waaay too much Time into that for basicly no Results.
I plan to talk about the Dates later on (especially the First Girl, she was crazy!), but for now, i just want to see what you Guys have been up to
I was using a Phone App called "Lovoo" (pretty popular here in Germany), and i got some, well, interesting Results in that Last Year while i've been using it. I've been writing to around 3-5 Girls Daily, got a response at every 10th.-15th Message, ended up having 3 Dates, got Laid once, and found 2 Contacts.
So yeah, not something i am willing to do again. I spent waaay too much Time into that for basicly no Results.
I plan to talk about the Dates later on (especially the First Girl, she was crazy!), but for now, i just want to see what you Guys have been up to
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Alright, so my annoying samey posts have been posted and I appreciate all the advice I was given, but I have one problem that seems to still not have gone away.
I am not blonde anymore which according to the general public, is an improvement
I thought that my hair change might raise interest and it has but not in the best way, all it is now is just guys thinking im some seductress which I am not. FYI I changed my hair because the blonde was hurting my hair too much.
I have been on some dates that seemed successful, they smile/laugh, find out shared interests, keep eye contact, and then after the date say that they had an amazing time and that they really like me... I am not getting kissed after these dates (not that its mandatory I just find it weird that its happening so often now). Then after that day they start to slowly stop texting me and either get sick for our next date or never set up another date. I am getting really annoyed by this shit and I am trying to think of what I am doing wrong. I dress for the weather but still look nice, I have not been showing any cleavage lately maybe thats why lol.
I feel like its because I am not flirty on my dates, I treat them like a friend but I do smile and show interest and listen/respond to everything they say...I dont know.
What do you all think? Is my lack of eyelash batting or tit display the problem?
I don't know what advice to really give you other than inquire how you are actually showing interest towards them? Seems like they may not feel like you're interested in them by what you are doing, so maybe you have to make it a little more blunt just to get the message across.
Skipping out on a date by saying they are sick is definitely showing they don't want to pursue further since they don't try to set up another date.
Not really sure other than maybe trying to push for a second date a little and not be passive about it since the interest might not be conveying otherwise
It's me visiting your profile - if you were wondering. For study.
Haha, I was getting a little confused.