You're not going to believe it, everyone, but it's true. I was once a skeptic like the rest. There's no way the OP actually talked to a girl on a subway over a Switch. There's no way anybody is playing a Switch on the train. This NeoGAF fantasy is so played out! But then the impossible thing happened: it happened to me.
So there I was on the subway platform. I was broke. I had no family or friends. Every time I thought I had nothing more to lose, the world would take more away. I was just so tired of discovering the new meaning of rock bottom, you know? So when the train came, I resolved, I was going to jump.
I hear the F train coming and I'm like, okay, this is it. This is what you wanted. Switch didn't even launch with a Virtual Console. It's time to die. I psyched myself up, cleared my mind, and jumped.
As I flew in front of the train, I saw something through the windshield of the train car. It was a girl... playing a Nintendo Switch. It was amazing. I thought, wow, that's somebody I can talk to. We have something in common that warrants me approaching her unsolicited. Time seemed to slow down. I decided I wanted to live! Then, thwack, I'm hit by the train.
I wake up in the hospital, and you'll never believe who is there: the girl from the train. Unbelievable. She's holding my hand and says she saw my Legend of Zelda shirt and had to be there when I woke up. I'd completely forgot I was wearing it! We talk about Zelda and how we both miss traditional dungeons and Ganondorf when the doctor comes in. She tells me I'm really lucky: I only lived because the driver braked really early and was going really slow. Why did he brake really early?
You guessed it: because he was playing his Nintendo Switch. Just amazing. The driver comes into my room and apologizes. He was just stuck in that one minigolf shrine and wasn't paying attention. We all have a good laugh, holding hands, sharing stories.
The doctor, also holding my hand, says I'm going to need a lot of surgery. I have no insurance and the bills are going to ruin my life. But then he says the unthinkable: the girl on the train is going to cover all my expenses. It turns out she's a millionaire! Her dad works at Nintendo! OF COURSE!
But fate has a funny way of things. As I'm on the operating table, I see the doctor playing 1-2 Switch in the prep area. It's so hilarious! He's just milking that damn cow with one of his assistants and they're having a great time. Everybody is standing around, laughing, just loving the Switch. One of the doctors says he can't wait to get one. Another one agrees. Then a third doctor says "let's all go get Switches!" They all run out of the room and leave me alone on the operating table.
I die there, but I am at peace. Because even though I might not have made it, the Switch sure did. So next time you're hesitant to believe, remember, it happened to me! And if it happened to me, it could happen to you.