Lasted quite a while too... I feel like just the past month or so I actually started to feel back to normal.
Holy shit, this hits close to home :'(So, like "being a human doormat"? Or going full-beta?
Yeah I realized that and finally stopped the vicious Simping cycle, I remember from the girl-age thread to "make your intentions known" or forever Simp-Zoned. So I tried to ask her out again as we were talking on the phone for like an hour and a half:
Yeah I realize that now, which is why I tried again on the fone (see above).
Yeah I realized that and finally stopped the vicious Simping cycle, I remember from the girl-age thread to "make your intentions known" or forever Simp-Zoned. So I tried to ask her out again as we were talking on the phone for like an hour and a half:
me: "Hey we should go out on a date, your and me"
her: *laughs hysterically* are you serious?? <--- felt bad man
me: "Yeah..."
her: "Oh..well I don't like you like that.."
me: "Okay, well I don't want to be just friends anymore"
her: "Are you kidding me [name]"
me: "Yeah, I mean, I flirt with you yet get nothing in return, you get all the attention but there's nothing in it for me. So goodbye [name]"
*Then I just hung up on her*
It's been like 5 months since that happened, and we haven't talked since.
** Any suggestions on how I could handle that scenario better so it doesn't happen again?
Yeah I realize that now, which is why I tried again on the fone (see above).
Yeah I realized that and finally stopped the vicious Simping cycle, I remember from the girl-age thread to "make your intentions known" or forever Simp-Zoned. So I tried to ask her out again as we were talking on the phone for like an hour and a half:
me: "Hey we should go out on a date, your and me"
her: *laughs hysterically* are you serious?? <--- felt bad man
me: "Yeah..."
her: "Oh..well I don't like you like that.."
me: "Okay, well I don't want to be just friends anymore"
her: "Are you kidding me [name]"
me: "Yeah, I mean, I flirt with you yet get nothing in return, you get all the attention but there's nothing in it for me. So goodbye [name]"
*Then I just hung up on her*
It's been like 5 months since that happened, and we haven't talked since.
** Any suggestions on how I could handle that scenario better so it doesn't happen again?
Yeah I realize that now, which is why I tried again on the fone (see above).
Actually I'm glad we haven't talked since then, because truthfully I didn't want her to say yes**, I just wanted her out of my life because she stressed me out so much to the point it was affecting my mood/work performance.
Yeah I realized that and finally stopped the vicious Simping cycle, I remember from the girl-age thread to "make your intentions known" or forever Simp-Zoned. So I tried to ask her out again as we were talking on the phone for like an hour and a half:
me: "Hey we should go out on a date, your and me"
her: *laughs hysterically* are you serious?? <--- felt bad man
me: "Yeah..."
her: "Oh..well I don't like you like that.."
me: "Okay, well I don't want to be just friends anymore"
her: "Are you kidding me [name]"
me: "Yeah, I mean, I flirt with you yet get nothing in return, you get all the attention but there's nothing in it for me. So goodbye [name]"
*Then I just hung up on her*
It's been like 5 months since that happened, and we haven't talked since.
** Any suggestions on how I could handle that scenario better so it doesn't happen again?
Yeah I realized that and finally stopped the vicious Simping cycle, I remember from the girl-age thread to "make your intentions known" or forever Simp-Zoned. So I tried to ask her out again as we were talking on the phone for like an hour and a half:
me: "Hey we should go out on a date, your and me"
her: *laughs hysterically* are you serious?? <--- felt bad man
me: "Yeah..."
her: "Oh..well I don't like you like that.."
me: "Okay, well I don't want to be just friends anymore"
her: "Are you kidding me [name]"
me: "Yeah, I mean, I flirt with you yet get nothing in return, you get all the attention but there's nothing in it for me. So goodbye [name]"
*Then I just hung up on her*
It's been like 5 months since that happened, and we haven't talked since.
** Any suggestions on how I could handle that scenario better so it doesn't happen again?
Yeah I realize that now, which is why I tried again on the fone (see above).
Not really when we first started talking I just thought of her as a friend, then later I started liking her yet never said anything.
It's not desperation its depression, and yes the girls can smell it, but difference most girls would just leave me alone. But even when I ignored her or especially if I started flirting with another coworker, she would go out of her way to talk/flirt with me, only to blow me off (again) once she knew she "had me". And yes I not dealing with girls while I work on my depression.
I'm new to this and I didn't even realize I was her Simp until it was way too late, but I'll be more self-aware now.
What's even worst is that before I met her(at new job) I was actually getting over the depression and felt better than I felt in forever. I took steps to better my life like getting contacts which boosted my confidence as I hated wearing glasses and simple things like eye-contact were much more easier now. But dealing with 2+ years of being her Simp(and other shit in my life) spiraled me back into a deep depression.
I learned that from the girl-age thread too("Don't say it, just do it"). But the problem was she switched jobs so I rarely saw here so I suggested she come back to the job to "visit" and I would try to make a move(?). But when she came she flat out ignored me, didn't say anything and just plain avoided me, meanwhile laughing/talking with other coworkers. As she was leaving I said:
*Continue reading the thread*
I wasted most of my college years chasing after this one girl who instantly became my "type". I didn't want to bother with anyone else, couldn't stop thinking about her, felt great when I was around her and horrible when not. I would do anything just to talk to her on the phone.
We hung out plenty, she was a good friend and I was crazy about her. I kept misinterpreting her "signals" that she was into me as well so that kept me going. Plus I got a lot of self esteem from being around a hot chick that my friends and co workers were a bit jealous.
But when I finally mustered up the courage to tell her point blank I had feelings for her, she told me she did not feel the same. I wasn't surprised, but it floored me. You know that song Wicked Game by Chris Isak? That was me. This was right about at the end of my college life and I realized I had wasted it pursuing her.
We stayed friends for many years post-college and I watched as she had relationship after relationship while I was still struggling to have one of my own. I think this experience really screwed my self esteem up for several years even after moving out of town. I just couldn't get past her.
tl;dr -- read from here down
I'm happily married now and my best advice to those in a position like I was is this:
If it seems hard, it's not meant to be. I was always begging and pleading to spend time with my college crush. It was *hard*! When I finally met the girl who became my wife, it was *easy*. The big difference? My (future) wife was interested, the girl from college was not. It doesn't get more simple than that.
I will qualify this with the fact that it gets easier as girls get older. Teenagers or 20-somethings will play hard to get or other games. As they get older (and more desperate), they drop that crap and you know when they like you.
There's nothing worse than the "so you're saying there's a chance!" feeling from Dumb and Dumber. Let it go. Find someone who wants you as much as you want them. There's always someone like that. It's only a matter of time.
That's not the case, I was just trying to find a way to get her out my life [see quote below] and until that happened I knew I was going to continue to be her emotional "teddy bear" as you said.
I needed to cut her out my life, it was just too much stress dealing with her. My overall mood deteriorated and I was always in a somber state which affected my relationship with friend & family. I've literally been passed up for a promotion because my work performance slacked off from being distressed from her. etc. Lastly I can't be just friends(w/boundaries) with her because I'll always be wanting something more....but know I can't have it.
Oh my god guys, I know the problem. Going through a phase of that too at the moment, although I know that I'm a idiot for falling for it.
Right now I'm back from an evening with a girl I really like. On the one side we talk everyday over long periods of times, got the same views on many things and just have a good time. So fast forward to this evening, when we planned to eat something after university and then go to a pub with a friend of us. Right before our courses, she asks another one, to come with us, too. Okay, that wouldn't be a problem for me. But as we are in the restaurant, it's suddenly as if I'm air and she talks almost the whole time with the other guy. As I didn't want to cause a scene, I took out my cellphone and surfed gaf, like fuck you, if you don't talk with me, I can do something different with my time. She notices this and asks me if something is wrong, and I only say "Nope everything's allright" in a rather sarcastic tone. Still it's not my goal to cause a scene and just get this evening over, so we can have a talk about this the next day.
I really was happy when we got to the pub where our friend waited so I at least could talk with him, down some beers and almost have a good time.
But it's a real bad feeling. As if I'm enough if no one is around, but as soon as there are other people, I'm not.
I know it's totally idiotic to hang on like this, but I like her so much, even if there is close to no chance, that we can get together. It's one of the worst feelings ever.
PS: I'm sorry for all grammatical or orthographic errors, as English is not my native language and I downed some beers
