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So, how can we fix dating for men?

West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
In the wake of some light incel propaganda (
likes4.png
) on the front page, I thought it would be a good idea to finally take a positive slant on dating.

In other words, let's not complain about it, let's do something about it, and help each other out, rather than tear each other down!


To start, I have observed that you miss every shot that you don't take.
0 for 20 on efforts asking a girl out is a different situation from 0 for 1 or 0 for 2.

Otherwise, here are a few things that work toward dating success:

1. Keep first dates comfortable - coffee dates are popular.
2. Ask in person rather than via text or other electronic media.
3. Ask people who know you for frank feedback regarding your appearance, demeanor, and approach.
4. Be clean, be nice, smile, smell good.
5. Picture in your mind either a "yes" or a "no" and your polite response in either case.
6. You'll never be sure of a "yes" so learn to ask even though the answer is uncertain.
7. Personality and social skills go a LONG way towards success. Ladies tend to be less visually oriented than men. Have you even noticed that lots of average (or worse) looking guys date (and marry) very beautiful women?
8. At the same time, it doesn't hurt to manage the aspects of one's physical attractiveness as one is able.
9. Hardworking, humble, and polite go a long way, too.
10. Everyone is more attractive when they smile, so try to lighten up your countenance on dates.

That's all I have for now; feel free to chip in.
 
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West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
Be attractive, don't be unattractive.
Be rich, don't be poor.
Be over 6ft, don't be under 6ft.

There, done in three!
I especially agree with the height advice.

Listen men: You can control your height! There's no excuse to be a shorty!
 
Seems (not surprisingly) you missed the point of the other thread. It’s not about not having the balls to ask women out or lacking the attraction…

That being said, if it’s really about helping others who just don’t have the balls the best advice is to build a large circle of friends. It is not to be understated how much easier it is to approach women when you have a buddy or two around.
 

Trogdor1123

Gold Member
4 and 7 are the only really important ones. People need to remember how to talk to real humans again.

Just read the room and be self aware. Go to places where people go. Talk to people, real people, in a genuine way. Avoid online.

I know I’m old and don’t understand the current day but it literally worked for millions of years…
 

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
What we as men (individually) want in a partner shouldn't be underestimated as well.

Yo ya pretty af but ya a mobile addict so passssss
 

The Cockatrice

Gold Member
If theres one important rule I learned in life and what most men seem to completely and constantly fail is that the friendzone thing is not actually a bad thing at all. Being friends with a woman, assuming shes a kind soul and not the gold digger kind, is the first step into getting in her pants. Most women need to feel safe and confident in that man and most of yall seem to forget that a woman gets at least 50 times the attention a male does which means she IS FUCKING TIRED of men wanting her for her body. The second most important thing is making her laugh. Once you grasped these two things you're good to go. Now that being said, I wish I was more sane and stable in life to pursue single women but sadly Im a fucked up guy who only seems to be attracted to married or women in relationships for some reason and viceversa as well. I've threaded some dangerous paths but I suppose the idea of danger is very...enticing for both. Eh maybe someday when I am more independent and not a poor sob playing games all day, I'll finally settle down.
 
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nush

Member
, is the first step into getting in her pants.
eye-roll-boring.gif


Every "nice guy" that gets "Friendzoned" starts with this logic.

I suggest you stop giving advice when you have this level of self-awareness.

Im a fucked up guy who only seems to be attracted to married or women in relationships for some reason and viceversa as well. I've threaded some dangerous paths but I suppose the idea of danger is very...enticing for both.
 

The Cockatrice

Gold Member
eye-roll-boring.gif


Every "nice guy" that gets "Friendzoned" starts with this logic.

I suggest you stop giving advice when you have this level of self-awareness.

I think you completely misread my post or missed my point. The pants thing was a jest. Read again. Being "friendzoned" isn't bad. if you think otherwise you have much to learn about women then. Also the fact that I am fully self-aware of my own personal choices doesn't mean I can't give fair advices to men, to not be me or otherwise.
 
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nush

Member
I think you completely misread my post or missed my point. The pants thing was a jest. Read again. Being "friendzoned" isn't bad. if you think otherwise you have much to learn about women then.

I suggest you leave the comedy to people who can actually be funny.
 

The Cockatrice

Gold Member
I suggest you leave the comedy to people who can actually be funny.

I see. So I'll just assume that you were friendzoned, cried online and gave up? Or you saw movies/posts online about the same thing? Or do you always assume women are shallow creatures only looking for adventurous men?
 

jason10mm

Gold Member
eye-roll-boring.gif


Every "nice guy" that gets "Friendzoned" starts with this logic.

I suggest you stop giving advice when you have this level of self-awareness.
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^

If you are looking for a girl to hook up with, the "friendzone" is your kiss of death, UNLESS that girl is actively putting other girls in front of you. Sadly the "nice guys finish last" axiom is very true, because the "nice guys" tend to zero in on a specific girl and spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME working up the courage to interact for her, then get trapped in a friend zone orbit. Dating is largely a numbers game, and the nice guys are super inefficient at it. The "Bad Boys" are the guys that will ask girls out with little to no preamble and then they drop girls like hot potatoes the SECOND she isn't working out. There is no friend zone, no careful stalking, no creeper mentality with those guys, they are brash, they shoot their shot, and they walk away if it misses and move on. You want to be like that guy because he takes 100 shots to the nice guys 1 and even a 1% success rate yields for him.

The issue though is when to turn off "the bad boy" 'cause once you get a taste of casual hook-ups in a relatively infinite supply its too easy to move on from girls for fairly trivial things and eventually you realize you missed on some pretty special girls for ultimately dumb reasons. Women experience this all the time as they are playing on easy mode for hook-ups, the challenge for the average dame is getting a commitment, not the first few dates.

So my advice for guys struggling with dating is to A. get some socially acceptable hobbies and B. Get out of your damned comfort zone and start talking to women. Not necessarily for dates, but like any skill the 'cold open' is something you gotta practice and invest in. Don't do it at work or places you frequent (like your gym, your regular grocery store, or your favorite pub) but go places where people are there to socialize and just talk to random women. Get over the fear of it, learn what seems to work, build that skill, so you can wash that stink of desperation off you and start scoring.

Also realize that you are likely gonna have to lay off sodas and Cheetos for a few months, invest in your personal health a bit, and explore in person relationships in order to be successful. This isn't a hole you can internet yourself out of.
 

The Cockatrice

Gold Member
^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^

If you are looking for a girl to hook up with, the "friendzone" is your kiss of death, UNLESS that girl is actively putting other girls in front of you. Sadly the "nice guys finish last" axiom is very true, because the "nice guys" tend to zero in on a specific girl and spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME working up the courage to interact for her, then get trapped in a friend zone orbit. Dating is largely a numbers game, and the nice guys are super inefficient at it. The "Bad Boys" are the guys that will ask girls out with little to no preamble and then they drop girls like hot potatoes the SECOND she isn't working out. There is no friend zone, no careful stalking, no creeper mentality with those guys, they are brash, they shoot their shot, and they walk away if it misses and move on. You want to be like that guy because he takes 100 shots to the nice guys 1 and even a 1% success rate yields for him.

The issue though is when to turn off "the bad boy" 'cause once you get a taste of casual hook-ups in a relatively infinite supply its too easy to move on from girls for fairly trivial things and eventually you realize you missed on some pretty special girls for ultimately dumb reasons. Women experience this all the time as they are playing on easy mode for hook-ups, the challenge for the average dame is getting a commitment, not the first few dates.

So my advice for guys struggling with dating is to A. get some socially acceptable hobbies and B. Get out of your damned comfort zone and start talking to women. Not necessarily for dates, but like any skill the 'cold open' is something you gotta practice and invest in. Don't do it at work or places you frequent (like your gym, your regular grocery store, or your favorite pub) but go places where people are there to socialize and just talk to random women. Get over the fear of it, learn what seems to work, build that skill, so you can wash that stink of desperation off you and start scoring.

Also realize that you are likely gonna have to lay off sodas and Cheetos for a few months, invest in your personal health a bit, and explore in person relationships in order to be successful. This isn't a hole you can internet yourself out of.

There is no "nice guys" or "bad boys". If you are looking to hook up only for fucking a shallow thot, then either way can go based on your confidence. There is no written rule that "bad boys" always win. You guys are reading online shit way too much when the reality is that most serious relationships were always between good friends or people who just hit it up on a lot of points which is basically what friendship is. I understand gaf, out of all places, is a terrible place to discuss when most likely half the people here havent gotten laid and just complain online about women. You agree with him disagreeing with me but your post is factually similar to mine. Talking to women, being socially active with them is in fact being friends with them or what most pissy men call it, "friendzoned". Again, this friendzoned thing is not bad. Its actually a good thing. If a woman is interested in you, and again, I repeat, normal legit good women, not the abusive/shallow/gold digging kind, then she will be friends with you first and foremost and then the flirting can commence. Whether she starts dating someone else or tells you dumb shit like "you were too friendly" are all excuses for you not clicking with her. It has nothing to do with being friendly. Also I will disagree with the fat/physical appearance. More than half of relationships I've seen around me and at work, most men have huge bellies, hardly fit and they're not that good looking either. Words are more powerful than most men here realize and a woman just wants to be fucking safe and chill and laugh and have a good time and guess where she can get that? From friendships. Its why online dating is fucking dying. People just dont click anymore, they dont socialize, then dont actually become friends. One night fucks or stands can only get you so far.
 
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I will attempt to make a positive contribution to the thread, so here are my quick tips.

  1. Ask about her hobbies and interests. Music, movies, ways they like to relax, travel, food etc. Just get her talking. I find most women like to talk about themselves. Keep it light and fun for the first date/interaction. Based on what they talk about bounce off of it if you relate to something.
  2. Don't try to impress her with some dumb shit or act arrogant/cocky. You are not some special prize, just keep it cool and humble.
  3. Don't mention or talk about any past ex-girlfriends. It's awkward and no one wants to hear about it.
  4. Make good eye contact and smile. Use active listening and reflective statements to make her feel like you are actually listening to what she has to say. Everyone wants to feel heard and understood.
  5. Realize that dating is a numbers game and rejection is a part of the journey.
  6. Meet people at places that share similar interests as you. Also, get to know thier friends and friends of friends. Even if a particular girl you like is not into you she might have some available friends.
  7. Compliment her on how she looks. Women put effort into their appearance. Especially, make an effort to compliment her dress or hairstyle.
  8. If you find yourself consistently being rejected then you probably have poor insight into your behavior and social skills. Seek out a counselor to work on your social anxiety and communication skills.

That's all I have for now, thanks for coming to my TED talks.
 

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
I think you completely misread my post or missed my point. The pants thing was a jest. Read again. Being "friendzoned" isn't bad. if you think otherwise you have much to learn about women then. Also the fact that I am fully self-aware of my own personal choices doesn't mean I can't give fair advices to men, to not be me or otherwise.

Dude you are replying to nush lol smh
 
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jason10mm

Gold Member
There is no "nice guys" or "bad boys". If you are looking to hook up only for fucking a shallow thot, then either way can go based on your confidence. There is no written rule that "bad boys" always win. You guys are reading online shit way too much when the reality is that most serious relationships were always between good friends or people who just hit it up on a lot of points which is basically what friendship is. I understand gaf, out of all places, is a terrible place to discuss when most likely half the people here havent gotten laid and just complain online about women. You agree with him disagreeing with me but your post is factually similar to mine. Talking to women, being socially active with them is in fact being friends with them or what most pissy men call it, "friendzoned". Again, this friendzoned thing is not bad. Its actually a good thing. If a woman is interested in you, and again, I repeat, normal legit good women, not the abusive/shallow/gold digging kind, then she will be friends with you first and foremost and then the flirting can commence. Whether she starts dating someone else or tells you dumb shit like "you were too friendly" are all excuses for you not clicking with her. It has nothing to do with being friendly. Also I will disagree with the fat/physical appearance. More than half of relationships I've seen around me and at work, most men have huge bellies, hardly fit and they're not that good looking either. Words are more powerful than most men here realize and a woman just wants to be fucking safe and chill and laugh and have a good time and guess where she can get that? From friendships. Its why online dating is fucking dying. People just dont click anymore, they dont socialize, then dont actually become friends. One night fucks or stands can only get you so far.
Duuuuuuude, there are NO WOMEN that accrue men as "friends" and then start banging them 'cause "gosh darn it, I never realized how considerate, kind, loving, and available Greg has always been, only NOW does he make me wet!". Girls know from minute ONE if they are gonna bang a guy or not, all the circumstances necessary for the guy are set from that point on. Friendzoning isn't about having female friends, it's about obsessing over a specific girl and doing ANYTHING just to stay in contact with her, hoping you can somehow woo her with your subtle charm.

Ain't gonna happen. Sorry to break it to you.

I like the Ladder Theory as a way to categorize sexually based male/female relationships to get some objective(ish) understanding of how to position yourself for success.

By all means have female friends. Best way to meet girls is through other girls. But just know that THEY are the ones that decide if they wanna fuck or not; persistent white knighting, simping, or hovering in the wings hoping for a moment of weakness is a fools game and just sucks up time that could have been better spent talking to dozens of other girls that might actually say yes.
 
Duuuuuuude, there are NO WOMEN that accrue men as "friends" and then start banging them 'cause "gosh darn it, I never realized how considerate, kind, loving, and available Greg has always been, only NOW does he make me wet!". Girls know from minute ONE if they are gonna bang a guy or not, all the circumstances necessary for the guy are set from that point on. Friendzoning isn't about having female friends, it's about obsessing over a specific girl and doing ANYTHING just to stay in contact with her, hoping you can somehow woo her with your subtle charm.

Ain't gonna happen. Sorry to break it to you.

I like the Ladder Theory as a way to categorize sexually based male/female relationships to get some objective(ish) understanding of how to position yourself for success.

By all means have female friends. Best way to meet girls is through other girls. But just know that THEY are the ones that decide if they wanna fuck or not; persistent white knighting, simping, or hovering in the wings hoping for a moment of weakness is a fools game and just sucks up time that could have been better spent talking to dozens of other girls that might actually say yes.
I will agree with the sentiment that no one should chase a girl who is not interested in you but, definitely keep in contact with her and stay friendly. Don't burn bridges just because you are in the friend zone. She might have some cute friends and you already have a decent springboard to start from being her friend. Just accept it and find someone else who has an interest in you in their social network.
 
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