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[Onemic]

No. I know my weaknesses and my strengths. I've been through therapy and talked about these things. I've worked out. Gone to school. Have a car. Have decent money for a 20 year old. I've done everything right by most peoples metrics! But that's still not good enough. Why won't you tell me what's wrong then? Huh?! Because I've improved and changed areas of my life that were less than stellar and the only improvement I ever saw was how I did. Financially, academically, personally. How people view me has still not changed.

And what the hell does "real discrimination" mean? I've had more than my fair share of outright racism. Just yesterday I got called Nigger randomly again by a bunch of white kids. And for what?! If you can admit that there's racism, that there's systemic racism; then how can you turn around and tell me with a straight face that it doesn't affect everything?

There are people out there way worse than me. That don't have jobs, don't work, don't go to school. Whatever. And they can navigate society with far less resistance than I can. That we can. Or did the world change while I was sleeping and all of you actually believe that we're on the same playing field now?

I mean real discrimination as in not looking at every single situation you've encountered in your life and chalking it up to because people were being racist against you. It sucks that you got called nigger by a bunch of random white kids yesterday, but to take that and paint it as though every white person is racist is beyond idiotic. You did it in the dating thread with your problem dating white girls and judging by your welcome back post, you pretty much boiled every action you take in life being based primarily on race and race alone. Life is hard man, just because you have a car and work out doesn't mean that everyone will suddenly love you. You can't be everyones friend and if you're in a situation where you have inner issues that are yet to be resolved(you do), then you find that a lot of the time it is you that is pushing others away and not other people. You say people pre-judge you, but how much of that pre-judging is from your own inner issues that manifest themselves when you interact with others?

Your therapist did a pretty wack job if you've come to pretty much have a world view that makes you look at every race that is not your own with suspicion, on the grounds that they might be racist against you. It's fairly obvious that your problems have nothing to do with race but your own selfesteem and self worth.

 

[DrFunk]

No. I know my weaknesses and my strengths. I've been through therapy and talked about these things. I've worked out. Gone to school. Have a car. Have decent money for a 20 year old. I've done everything right by most peoples metrics! But that's still not good enough. Why won't you tell me what's wrong then? Huh?! Because I've improved and changed areas of my life that were less than stellar and the only improvement I ever saw was how I did. Financially, academically, personally. How people view me has still not changed.

And what the hell does "real discrimination" mean? I've had more than my fair share of outright racism. Just yesterday I got called Nigger randomly again by a bunch of white kids. And for what?! If you can admit that there's racism, that there's systemic racism; then how can you turn around and tell me with a straight face that it doesn't affect everything?

There are people out there way worse than me. That don't have jobs, don't work, don't go to school. Whatever. And they can navigate society with far less resistance than I can. That we can. Or did the world change while I was sleeping and all of you actually believe that we're on the same playing field now?


Everything! I'm sick of being rejected as even a fucking human being and being told that things are better than before. What difference does it make if you get out of prison for a crime you never committed, but people still run away from you? I'm not even a human being in most peoples eyes! That fucking bothers me! Yes! Why shouldn't it?!

None of those things you've gained (as admirable as they are) really give you value. It sucks that you were called nigger the other day, but the thing is, it shouldn't de-value your self worth as it seems to have done. I'm not a psychologist by any means, but how do you feel about yourself?

 

[DY_nasty]

No she didn't. I'm just exhausted of fighting the same struggle day in and day out. How is it that I can do all of those things as a minority, but the majority can't? I look at people as human beings. I don't pre-judge them. But they do for me. Me saying that I've completely lost any faith in humanity whatsoever does not make me a bad person. And I can't believe you guys are judging me unfairly like that.

The first thing you said was that your therapist told you to stay around your own kind and work from there. You should've kept the receipt.

And just because you got a little money and a car and a job doesn't mean your shit is together. And where did all this come from? A few rejections that you spoke all too frequently about on the site before. Maybe, just maybe, you getting swerved on has more to do with how you come off and sound instead of your skin color? Because you literally just devoted time and energy into stating how treatment of blacks was so incredibly subhuman that there should be an Israeli-esque state established. Not only is your logic flawed, but its extremely clear that you did devote time into studying facts and somewhat uncommon perspectives that allowed a train of thought to progress in such a direction. You're not stupid. The problem is, you believe your own bullshit.

While everyone went off giving you props for that shit the few people that've seen you post before knew that was a cry for help more than anything else and let it ride because you needed the affirmation like Tito needed Michael.

So yes. People are going to call you on your shit now. No more of the "it was so BAD. X happened to me today and THINGS" surprise dialogues. What is your actual issue? Lets talk about that. Because that's some real shit. You've obviously been working on all those issues backwards since you left so if you want to you can air all that out now.

 

[CrushDance]

Wow. Okay. Please tell me exactly what it is that is wrong with me? Because I'd love to not live this way! But I don't know how. How are all you guys living stress free, racism free lives?

I have never pushed anyone away. I have tried my hardest to fit in, be "one of the boys". And it has never worked. You guys talk about all these things in this thread all the time. But when I speak about it, I get berated? Why? Because I'm saying that we'll never be truly equal?

 

[DY_nasty]

Wow. Okay. Please tell me exactly what it is that is wrong with me?

Okay, first you just need to be hone-

Because I'd love to not live this way! But I don't know how. How are all you guys living stress free, racism free lives?

This is the bullshit I'm talking about.

I have never pushed anyone away. I have tried my hardest to fit in, be "one of the boys". And it has never worked. You guys talk about all these things in this thread all the time. But when I speak about it, I get berated? Why? Because I'm saying that we'll never be truly equal?

THESE ARE NOT RACE ISSUES

 

[Devolution]

Wow. Okay. Please tell me exactly what it is that is wrong with me? Because I'd love to not live this way! But I don't know how. How are all you guys living stress free, racism free lives?

I have never pushed anyone away. I have tried my hardest to fit in, be "one of the boys". And it has never worked. You guys talk about all these things in this thread all the time. But when I speak about it, I get berated? Why? Because I'm saying that we'll never be truly equal?

It doesn't seem like anyone is living a racist free life, they've just found ways of picking their battles and surrounding themselves with people who remind them that racism isn't an inevitability from everyone.

 

[CrushDance]

The first thing you said was that your therapist told you to stay around your own kind and work from there. You should've kept the receipt.

And just because you got a little money and a car and a job doesn't mean your shit is together. And where did all this come from? A few rejections that you spoke all too frequently about on the site before. Maybe, just maybe, you getting swerved on has more to do with how you come off and sound instead of your skin color? Because you literally just devoted time and energy into stating how treatment of blacks was so incredibly subhuman that there should be an Israeli-esque state established. Not only is your logic flawed, but its extremely clear that you did devote time into studying facts and somewhat uncommon perspectives that allowed a train of thought to progress in such a direction. You're not stupid. The problem is, you believe your own bullshit.

While everyone went off giving you props for that shit the few people that've seen you post before knew that was a cry for help more than anything else and let it ride because you needed the affirmation like Tito needed Michael.

So yes. People are going to call you on your shit now. No more of the "it was so BAD. X happened to me today and THINGS" surprise dialogues. What is your actual issue? Lets talk about that. Because that's some real shit. You've obviously been working on all those issues backwards since you left so if you want to you can air all that out now.

My issue is that I'm less than! How can you tell me that the problem is *me* when I have never said I'm shit. People keep telling me that I'm shit? Why is it that a white guy that has none of the stuff that I do, can have a girlfriend, can walk without feeling judged, doesn't worry about unfair treatment?

I...I seriously feel that my head is about to explode. Two years ago, I couldn't even look at people in the eyes because of the shit I went through in high-school. I worked hard on improving myself, being the so called "better man". And I *have* improved. But you're telling me that I'm the only problem? That I'm the reason for my failures socially? Haha. Wow.

So why am I not a failure academically? Why am I succeeding and succeeded in the areas that social interaction doesn't matter? Hmm? Why am I crushing all those people that said I was too dumb?! In everything that actually matters. I'm leading the pack. So yes. If I had the know how and the means; I'd *love* a black state free from all this shit. Why is it wrong to say that? Multiculturalism is a failure.

It doesn't seem like anyone is living a racist free life, they've just found ways of picking their battles and surrounding themselves with people who remind them that racism isn't an inevitability from everyone.

And that's their choice. I choose to not ignore the hate that comes my way. Why should I ignore it? Ignoring things has never made them go away! I've chosen to saddle on the other extreme because there is an extreme that hates me.

 

[Devolution]

And that's their choice. I choose to not ignore the hate that comes my way. Why should I ignore it? Ignoring things has never made them go away! I've chosen to saddle on the other extreme because there is an extreme that hates me.

Because focusing on every little slight or interpreting them all as racist against you is driving you crazy?

 

[CrushDance]

Because focusing on every little slight or interpreting them all as racist against you is driving you crazy?

I'm not crazy. I'm just honest about the world that exists. The society that I live in. I have never rejected anyone that has treated me like a person. Yet society keeps bludgeoning me over the head about how I'm a failure, a thug, a rapist, drop-out. All of these things. And I should just ignore it? Ignore all of that while people like me are being treated like shit all the time? I won't. There has to be some people that jump off the boat so that others can survive. I can see it clearly.

 

[Onemic]

My issue is that I'm less than! How can you tell me that the problem is *me* when I have never said I'm shit. People keep telling me that I'm shit? Why is it that a white guy that has none of the stuff that I do, can have a girlfriend, can walk without feeling judged, doesn't worry about unfair treatment?

I...I seriously feel that my head is about to explode. Two years ago, I couldn't even look at people in the eyes because of the shit I went through in high-school. I worked hard on improving myself, being the so called "better man". And I *have* improved. But you're telling me that I'm the only problem? That I'm the reason for my failures socially? Haha. Wow.

So why am I not a failure academically? Why am I succeeding and succeeded in the areas that social interaction doesn't matter? Hmm? Why am I crushing all those people that said I was too dumb?! In everything that actually matters. I'm leading the pack. So yes. If I had the know how and the means; I'd *love* a black state free from all this shit. Why is it wrong to say that? Multiculturalism is a failure.


And that's their choice. I choose to not ignore the hate that comes my way. Why should I ignore it? Ignoring things has never made them go away! I've chosen to saddle on the other extreme because there is an extreme that hates me.

I'm not crazy. I'm just honest about the world that exists. The society that I live in. I have never rejected anyone that has treated me like a person. Yet society keeps bludgeoning me over the head about how I'm a failure, a thug, a rapist, drop-out. All of these things. And I should just ignore it? Ignore all of that while people like me are being treated like shit all the time? I won't. There has to be some people that jump off the boat so that others can survive. I can see it clearly.

Nigga, you from Canada





I say this as a fellow Canuck. Stop acting like you've just been through Rosewood. Its made you real jaded.

 

[CrushDance]

Nigga, you from Canada





I say this as a fellow Canuck. Stop acting like you've just been through Rosewood. Its made you real jaded.

And Canada is what? Let me ask you a simple question. How many places in the world would you feel comfortable going too as a black person? Can you go to Russia? How many black/white communities do you see? Black/white marriages? Anything/black marriages? Real life is hard! It's not fair and it's all about those that have and those that do not. If you don't have any power, you have no say whatsoever. You don't make the rules. It is human nature to seek to dominate others, hold them down in order to raise oneself. I don't want that. I just want peace.

I'm grateful for being Canadian. This is my home. Sure. But I've also faced a tremendous amount of exclusion because of what I am. And it hasn't made me weak or crazy. It's made me strong, given me something to chase for. Because I don't want others to go through that if they have an alternative.

 

[ViewtifulJC]

Damn brotha, you make HarSon look like Clayton Bigsby

This can't be life, b...

 

[DY_nasty]

My issue is that I'm less than! How can you tell me that the problem is *me* when I have never said I'm shit. People keep telling me that I'm shit? Why is it that a white guy that has none of the stuff that I do, can have a girlfriend, can walk without feeling judged, doesn't worry about unfair treatment?

Take the black out of it. You say you don't judge people but that's clearly what you do every time you go back to the same focal point of interracial relationships. You see yourself as the issue. More than they do - I guarantee that. Do people get shotdown because of their skin color? Sure. Does it lead to them spiraling into some erratic path where the only door out is Zamunda? Fuck no. 2 things. You value yourself as shit at the mere idea of someone not accepting you right off the bat and you've misplaced a lot of energy by looking at racism as the source of all these problems instead of the mirror.

I...I seriously feel that my head is about to explode. Two years ago, I couldn't even look at people in the eyes because of the shit I went through in high-school. I worked hard on improving myself, being the so called "better man". And I *have* improved. But you're telling me that I'm the only problem? That I'm the reason for my failures socially? Haha. Wow.

Your head is about to explode and people over the internet can tell that you're indeed unstable. Maybe you do the same thing to people in person. Maybe its worse.

Self-improvement doesn't "stop". Get better. And find a new therapist. One that doesn't sprinkle fixings on your own bullshit and feed it back to you because that's obviously what happened.

So why am I not a failure academically? Why am I succeeding and succeeded in the areas that social interaction doesn't matter? Hmm? Why am I crushing all those people that said I was too dumb?! In everything that actually matters. I'm leading the pack. So yes. If I had the know how and the means; I'd *love* a black state free from all this shit. Why is it wrong to say that? Multiculturalism is a failure.

Because the simple answer is that you lack social skills entirely and you're so adverse to admitting it that you lobbed all that academic ability to finding every other solution possible that doesn't involve you addressing that. Learning how to live in your own skin is a problem that is not just for minorities. Everyone has to learn to do it. Its called growing up. Its getting self-confidence. Its looking at yourself first - then outwards.

Some all black nation isn't going to fix your problems. Hell, the fact that you even think that such a world would turn your life into a better place should tell you, emphatically, that you are off the deep end and are not even thinking about coming up for air.

So all those good grades and a car and your own money for a 20 year old... You're a niceguyofOKCupid right now. You may as well save us the IM SORRY I CARED AM BLACK rant right now too and skip to the part where you're mad that we're not buying it.

And that's their choice. I choose to not ignore the hate that comes my way. Why should I ignore it? Ignoring things has never made them go away! I've chosen to saddle on the other extreme because there is an extreme that hates me.

You're ignoring the fact that you sound like a crazy person right now. You're ignoring shit that you typed a few lines up.

So again

What is wrong? Lets talk about that. And its not you being black.

 

[MorisUkunRasik]

Damn what happened in here.

Crushdance, you're still getting professional help?

 

[Onemic]

And Canada is what? Let me ask you a simple question. How many places in the world would you feel comfortable going too as a black person? Can you go to Russia? How many black/white communities do you see? Black/white marriages? Anything/black marriages? Real life is hard! It's not fair and it's all about those that have and those that do not. If you don't have any power, you have no say whatsoever. You don't make the rules. It is human nature to seek to dominate others, hold them down in order to raise oneself. I don't want that. I just want peace.

I'm grateful for being Canadian. This is my home. Sure. But I've also faced a tremendous amount of exclusion because of what I am. And it hasn't made me weak or crazy. It's made me strong, given me something to chase for. Because I don't want others to go through that if they have an alternative.

How much of that exclusion is because of you being black, or because of your own social failings?


The fact that you, as a Canadian, is acting like you've just been through some civil rights riots is laughable. Unless you grew up in the sticks, it's really not that bad, at least nowhere close to the point that you try and make it out to be.

 

[ViewtifulJC]

Damn what happened in here.

Crushdance, you're still getting professional help?

The kind of professional help that just reinforced his bullshit line of thinking that black people just need to form their own Nation

And when people think he's weird as hell/turn him down because of his like, less-than-zero social skills, it'll probably be self-racists holding him down

 

[Alligatorjandro]

So um whats everyones favorite chicken?

 

[ReiGun]

So um whats everyones favorite chicken?

I don't think that's gonna work this time. lol

 

[CrushDance]

Take the black out of it. You say you don't judge people but that's clearly what you do every time you go back to the same focal point of interracial relationships. You see yourself as the issue. More than they do - I guarantee that. Do people get shotdown because of their skin color? Sure. Does it lead to them spiraling into some erratic path where the only door out is Zamunda? Fuck no. 2 things. You value yourself as shit at the mere idea of someone not accepting you right off the bat and you've misplaced a lot of energy by looking at racism as the source of all these problems instead of the mirror.
//I don't value myself as shit. I would like to think that I'm a fair and respectable person. Nobody has ever said "Gee Crush you're a real ass-hole sometimes!". Not once. People I don't even know personally always tell my parents after they meet me: "Your son is such a nice guy!". "He's very smart!". "He works hard!". Isn't that what every parent wants?//
Your head is about to explode and people over the internet can tell that you're indeed unstable. Maybe you do the same thing to people in person. Maybe its worse.

Self-improvement doesn't "stop". Get better. And find a new therapist. One that doesn't sprinkle fixings on your own bullshit and feed it back to you because that's obviously what happened.
//Actually I don't. I will admit that I have two "modes". But I'm sure most people do anyway. A public face and a private one. Yes there are days where I find it very difficult to even get out of bed and walk in public. But that's what my medication is for. And to what end does self improvement go?//
Because the simple answer is that you lack social skills entirely and you're so adverse to admitting it that you lobbed all that academic ability to finding every other solution possible that doesn't involve you addressing that. Learning how to live in your own skin is a problem that is not just for minorities. Everyone has to learn to do it. Its called growing up. Its getting self-confidence. Its looking at yourself first - then outwards.
//I got beat up by a whole group of white kids in elementary school. Why? For being black. I learned my place very quickly. I don't lack social skills, if anything I know too well how society is.//
Some all black nation isn't going to fix your problems. Hell, the fact that you even think that such a world would turn your life into a better place should tell you, emphatically, that you are off the deep end and are not even thinking about coming up for air.
//No. It wouldn't solve everything. Black people can hate one another too. Humans are humans. But it would make things a lot easier than this failed multiculturalism that is being harped about to make people feel good about themselves. Do you think the average Israeli faces the issues that most minorities do?//
So all those good grades and a car and your own money for a 20 year old... You're a niceguyofOKCupid right now. You may as well save us the IM SORRY I CARED AM BLACK rant right now too and skip to the part where you're mad that we're not buying it.
//That's not true at all. I have never viewed women as anything less than human first. That's not how I was raised at all. I like strong women, not ones that defer to a man.//

You're ignoring the fact that you sound like a crazy person right now. You're ignoring shit that you typed a few lines up.

So again

What is wrong? Lets talk about that. And its not you being black.
//I don't know what you're trying to get from me. I told you what my problem is.//

.

How much of that exclusion is because of you being black, or because of your own social failings?


The fact that you, as a Canadian, is acting like you've just been through some civil rights riots is laughable. Unless you grew up in the sticks, it's really not that bad, at least nowhere close to the point that you try and make it out to be.

Um. I *did* grow up in the sticks. And besides that, I find it offensive that you're trying to insinuate that whatever problems I've had and continue to have are not real or serious. Do you want me to just list all the times that I've been publicly turned away from parties and the like? How confident would that make you?

Damn what happened in here.

Crushdance, you're still getting professional help?

No. She didn't help me at all.

The kind of professional help that just reinforced his bullshit line of thinking that black people just need to form their own Nation

And when people think he's weird as hell/turn him down because of his like, less-than-zero social skills, it'll probably be self-racists holding him down

How can you even say that without knowing me personally? You guys keep going off about airy things like "social skills", "confidence", etc. As if those are the make or break things. If someone rejects you as a person before they even meet you, what good will those do?

 

[Byakuya769]

A tale of two Canadas. One where Kini resides that is purely meritocratic and where racism has never reared its ugly face, and another far darker Canada where Crush Dance is--where there are roving "nigger" bomb attacks.

I don't know what to believe.

So um whats everyones favorite chicken?

Gator tail.

 

[soundscream]

The secret is to not give a fuck.

As Chris Rock said about GWB he could have a whole bag of fucks, yet wouldn't spare one for anybody.

The only certain thing you can control in life is yourself. No matter the external factors, you decide how you are going to live your life.

But this does require a level of emotional stability, if you don't feel you have it then you are in need of some help.

 

[CrushDance]

A tale of two Canadas. One where Kini resides that is purely meritocratic and where racism has never reared its ugly face, and another far darker Canada where Crush Dance is--where there are roving "nigger" bomb attacks.

I don't know what to believe.



Gator tail.

Well he's blatantly wrong. But I can't say I'm surprised. Canadians love to pretend every-things peachy up here. A few years ago there were native men being kidnapped by police and being taken out into the cold to freeze to death. A couple years ago a group of white people jumped a black guy in BC and he managed to get away. The KKK even had strong roots in Saskatchewan. There are a lot more stories like this. It takes a deep level of societal rot for things like that to happen. And it doesn't help that the vast majority of black people in Canada are out east and I'm not.

The secret is to not give a fuck.

As Chris Rock said about GWB he could have a whole bag of fucks, yet wouldn't spare one for anybody.

The only certain thing you can control in life is yourself. No matter the external factors, you decide how you are going to live your life.

But this does require a level of emotional stability, if you don't feel you have it then you are in need of some help.

I will wholly admit that I am emotionally unstable. I fluctuate from hopeful to miserable all the time. But that's because for every good that I see or experience, there's always a ton of bad right behind it.

 

[Onemic]

Well he's blatantly wrong. But I can't say I'm surprised. Canadians love to pretend every-things peachy up here. A few years ago there were native men being kidnapped by police and being taken out into the cold to freeze to death. A couple years ago a group of white people jumped a black guy in BC and he managed to get away. There are a lot more stories like this. It takes a deep level of societal rot for things like that to happen.

Everythings not peachy, but it's certainly not worse than the US relatively. You make it seem like Canada is Mississippi in the 1950's.

 

[CrushDance]

Everythings not peachy, but it's certainly not worse than the US relatively. You make it seem like Canada is Mississippi in the 1950's.

You and I have lived two very different lives. That's fine. I won't say that Canada is anything like the 1950's where it's a constant thing. The prejudice is not constant or explicit all the time. But in my life it has been very frequent and very explicit. So yes, perhaps my view is coloured and that's why we are unable to agree. It's understandable. But you guys have to also understand that I have reached the "I don't give a damn" part now because of those experiences being too frequent in my case.

What do you guys want me to do? What would you think if you ask a girl out, she says no because you're black. You go for a walk and get called a nigger by some idiots too cowardly to get out of their car and say it? The very same day? I didn't just wake up one day and think "I have to fight really hard to make it".

 

[soundscream]

I will wholly admit that I am emotionally unstable. I fluctuate from hopeful to miserable all the time. But that's because for every good that I see or experience, there's always a ton of bad right behind it.

Believe it or not the pendulum will always swing back and forth. Im not religious at all but I do believe that there is balance in the universe. I have always had times of struggle and self doubt, but in my 32 years I have always noticed that things come around and good things can happen.

Life can really be awful sometimes, but you need to focus on just doing your best, and I guarantee good will come from it.

 

[Master Milk]

You and I have lived two very different lives. That's fine. I won't say that Canada is anything like the 1950's where it's a constant thing. The prejudice is not constant or explicit all the time. But in my life it has been very frequent and very explicit. So yes, perhaps my view is coloured and that's why we are unable to agree. It's understandable. But you guys have to also understand that I have reached the "I don't give a damn" part now because of those experiences being too frequent in my case.

You seem to be at the exact opposite end on the "I don't give a damn" scale.

 

[Devolution]

Shiet Htown kept it too real.

Hope he's back soon.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=53764929&postcount=25

 

[Onemic]

.


Um. I *did* grow up in the sticks. And besides that, I find it offensive that you're trying to insinuate that whatever problems I've had and continue to have are not real or serious. Do you want me to just list all the times that I've been publicly turned away from parties and the like? How confident would that make you?

Sucks that you grew up in the sticks, so I can probably guess you got shit in elementary and HS because you were likely one of the only non-white people there. Thing is, my elementary school was like that too. You think I don't have racist stories I could share and depress this thread with? You think it was all fine and dandy for me and the other black people in the thread when they were growing up? You think other people in this thread don't have those stories too? The difference is that you haven't found a way to let go of that and are projecting that experience to every single non black person you meet.

Like I said, you thinking that all white women are racist because two of them didnt want to date you is fucked up and shows how backwards your current world view is.

 

[Gorillaz]

The secret is to not give a fuck.

As Chris Rock said about GWB he could have a whole bag of fucks, yet wouldn't spare one for anybody.

The only certain thing you can control in life is yourself. No matter the external factors, you decide how you are going to live your life.

But this does require a level of emotional stability, if you don't feel you have it then you are in need of some help.

This is the most important part and I'm glad you brought up. I think dealing with it on an emotional level is something that the community DOESN'T"T mention alot.

 

[ViewtifulJC]

You and I have lived two very different lives. That's fine. I won't say that Canada is anything like the 1950's where it's a constant thing. The prejudice is not constant or explicit all the time. But in my life it has been very frequent and very explicit. So yes, perhaps my view is coloured and that's why we are unable to agree. It's understandable. But you guys have to also understand that I have reached the "I don't give a damn" part now because of those experiences being too frequent in my case.

What do you guys want me to do? What would you think if you ask a girl out, she says no because you're black. You go for a walk and get called a nigger by some idiots too cowardly to get out of their car and say it? The very same day? I didn't just wake up one day and think "I have to fight really hard to make it".

And now you're so far off the reservation you see every little thing as an attack against your blackness(explicit, implicit, whatever), carrying a "Us vs Them" block on your shoulders so big it would make Atlas shrug. You've twisted your mind so far you think running away from everyone not your color would be a better option than living together, ignoring the occasional bullshit, and trying to improve on your own problems(which you clearly have).

 

[CrushDance]

Believe it or not the pendulum will always swing back and forth. Im not religious at all but I do believe that there is balance in the universe. I have always had times of struggle and self doubt, but in my 32 years I have always noticed that things come around and good things can happen.

Life can really be awful sometimes, but you need to focus on just doing your best, and I guarantee good will come from it.

But that's what I'm doing. Just minding my own business and thinking about how to best secure a future for myself. Is it because I said out loud that I wanted a black Israel?

You seem to be at the exact opposite end on the "I don't give a damn" scale.

I don't care to try and force things that cannot be defeated as a minority. Is what I meant.

Sucks that you grew up in the sticks, so I can probably guess you got shit in elementary and HS because you were likely one of the only non-white people there. Thing is, my elementary school was like that too. You think I don't have racist stories I could share and depress this thread with? You think it was all fine and dandy for me and the other black people in the thread when they were growing up? You think other people in this thread don't have those stories too? The difference is that you haven't found a way to let go of that and are projecting that experience to every single non black person you meet.

Like I said, you thinking that all white women are racist because two of them didnt want to date you is fucked up and shows how backwards your current world view is.

It wasn't two. It's up to five now. Well, of those that said that as the reason anyway. I don't think all white women are racist. I just have no interest in dealing with them because I know the odds and the statistics don't lie. There are numbers for this stuff.

And now you're so far off the reservation you see every little thing as an attack against your blackness(explicit, implicit, whatever), carrying a "Us vs Them" block on your shoulders so big it would make Atlas shrug. You've twisted your mind so far you think running away from everyone not your color would be a better option than living together, ignoring the occasional bullshit, and trying to improve on your own problems(which you clearly have).

I have tried. I've talked to a therapist(two actually). I forced myself to go out to bars, clubs and talk to strangers. And now I'm at the point where I'm taking medication. And for what? I'm happy for those of you who feel and have found acceptance. I don't think that everyone is bad. There are good people in every group. But the majority of people would rather elevate their own than you.

 

[DominoKid]

reading CrushDance's posts i feel like im looking at myself in an alternate dimension. honestly i can relate to how you feel in some ways, better than anybody else in here. we've experienced a lot of the same things & feelings it seems like...just the conclusion you came to was a bad extreme.

youre focusing too much on being black. it doesn't have nearly as much effect on things as you think it does. this is coming from someone that spends way too much time time thinking about why things don't go nearly as well for me in the various pursuits of life as they do for others. i promise you the feeling is all in your head. you need to get over that hurdle because it's corrupted your world view. things aren't going to get better for you otherwise.

 

[soundscream]

But that's what I'm doing. Just minding my own business and thinking about how to best secure a future for myself. Is it because I said out loud that I wanted a black Israel?


I don't care to try and force things that cannot be defeated as a minority. Is what I meant.

But is minding your own business you just living in your own world with no healthy relationships?

Do you have a good base of friends?

Cause it sounds like your trapped in your own little bubble, and without any way to express these feelings your just expanding the bubble, when it should have already popped and allowed you to free yourself of the troubles encasing you.

 

[CrushDance]

But is minding your own business you just living in your own world with no healthy relationships?

Do you have a good base of friends?

Cause it sounds like your trapped in your own little bubble, and without any way to express these feelings your just expanding the bubble, when it should have already popped and allowed you to free yourself of the troubles encasing you.

I had one good friend in high-school. Chinese. He went to McGill to study and is now working for an international bank. I don't have anybody, no. But that's not for a lack of trying. I just don't feel very comfortable around white people any-more. For the last five years, every attempt I've made to meet people halfway has ended in failure. Some days I seriously wish that I'd just kill myself. But I'm too scared to do so honestly. I wish I'd die but I know how it would affect my family. So I've decided to just dedicate myself to my studies and become the best engineer I can become and help people that are suffering. Not just blacks.

Edit: I don't know what to say any-more. I wake up hating myself not because I was born hating myself. I'm broken, yes. But when I put my best foot forward, tried to build bridges with people; I always got shunned. It takes it's toll after a while. I'm not a weak person for giving up. I just don't have the energy to fight such a battle. It's literally killing me.

 

[Gorillaz]

I had one good friend in high-school. Chinese. He went to McGill to study and is now working for an international bank. I don't have anybody, no. But that's not for a lack of trying. I just don't feel very comfortable around white people any-more. For the last five years, every attempt I've made to meet people halfway has ended in failure.

with the way Globalization has taken off in the past decade, I think it's best that you try to make some white friends.....actually not just white, but of different cultures in general


I mean how is your approach in general toward others? are you coming off hostile?

 

[Onemic]

It wasn't two. It's up to five now. Well, of those that said that as the reason anyway. I don't think all white women are racist. I just have no interest in dealing with them because I know the odds and the statistics don't lie. There are numbers for this stuff.

Numbers? what numbers? You have to learn to roll with it. People will refuse to go out with you for a myriad of reasons. Don't use a dumbass saying that they won't date you because of your race, as a barometer for how all other white women will act towards you.

 

[CrushDance]

with the way Globalization has taken off in the past decade, I think it's best that you try to make some white friends.....actually not just white, but of different cultures in general


I mean how is your approach in general toward others? are you coming off hostile?

No. My mother especially always calls me and talks about X and Y person having met me and how taken they were by me positively. I just don't get it. That's what I'm saying. I'm not a "nice guy". I'm simply a nice guy. Even on the worst of days, I still help people. The only answer I've come to is that it is my colour. I don't know what else it is.

Edit: And this isn't feeling sorry for myself. Just how I view things. I still work hard and move forward.

Numbers? what numbers? You have to learn to roll with it. People will refuse to go out with you for a myriad of reasons. Don't use a dumbass saying that they won't date you because of your race, as a barometer for how all other white women will act towards you.

The numbers on interracial dating/marriage. The ones where black men and women are at the bottom. And no, I never said all white women are racist or white people. I sort of dated a girl for a bit that was white. But she had a lot of problems and I've found that more often than not. The white women that date black men aren't the types you'd bring home or are overweight and have children. Whereas the white men that date black women only ever usually do it "for the experience" and never marry. Or if they do marry, marry a light skinned one. A guy once told me "No white women worth her salt is going to date a nigger like you". And for the most part, it's true. Why face social stigma and attack when you can just stay in your own circle?

 

[soundscream]

I had one good friend in high-school. Chinese. He went to McGill to study and is now working for an international bank. I don't have anybody, no. But that's not for a lack of trying. I just don't feel very comfortable around white people any-more. For the last five years, every attempt I've made to meet people halfway has ended in failure. Some days I seriously wish that I'd just kill myself. But I'm too scared to do so honestly. I wish I'd die but I know how it would affect my family.

Real talk you and me are kind of the same person. I only had 1 really good friend in high school who is now an investment banker. I never developed many emotional connections but my issue is that I am a extremely emotionally stunted person. [My mother just had to have heart surgery and she asked me to be the one who decides to remove life support if there was an issue because she feels I look at life without emotion. After the conversation I was taken aback that my own mother called me emotionless basically.]

But I do recognize this as a character fault and work on it as much as I can. Its hard but eventually I was able to overcome my issues and start forming relationships [Friends, Girlfriend]. Its hard work, I have to work at it every day because its easy to retreat into your own world and use it as a shield, to protect yourself from your emotions which are building up inside you.

I was able to correct this myself but it sounds like you really should be talking to someone.

 

[DominoKid]

No. My mother especially always calls me and talks about X and Y person having met me and how taken they were by me positively. I just don't get it. That's what I'm saying. I'm not a "nice guy". I'm simply a nice guy. Even on the worst of days, I still help people. The only answer I've come to is that it is my colour. I don't know what else it is.

Edit: And this isn't feeling sorry for myself. Just how I view things. I still work hard and move forward.

It's not. Keep at it.

I had one good friend in high-school. Chinese. He went to McGill to study and is now working for an international bank. I don't have anybody, no. But that's not for a lack of trying. I just don't feel very comfortable around white people any-more. For the last five years, every attempt I've made to meet people halfway has ended in failure. Some days I seriously wish that I'd just kill myself. But I'm too scared to do so honestly. I wish I'd die but I know how it would affect my family. So I've decided to just dedicate myself to my studies and become the best engineer I can become and help people that are suffering. Not just blacks.

Edit: I don't know what to say any-more. I wake up hating myself not because I was born hating myself. I'm broken, yes. But when I put my best foot forward, tried to build bridges with people; I always got shunned. It takes it's toll after a while. I'm not a weak person for giving up. I just don't have the energy to fight such a battle. It's literally killing me.

yep this all sounds very familiar. this is going to sound stupid (and i don't halfway believe it myself but it works some days), but you have to live with it. everybody cant be popular. everybody cant get all the girls. thats just life. i know it would be so much easier, but you cant quit just because you get rejected.

 

[Onemic]

The numbers on interracial dating/marriage. The ones where black men and women are at the bottom. And no, I never said all white women are racist or white people. I sort of dated a girl for a bit that was white. But she had a lot of problems and I've found that more often than not. The white women that date black men aren't the types you'd bring home or are overweight and have children. Whereas the white men that date black women only ever usually do it "for the experience" and never marry. Or if they do marry, marry a light skinned one. A guy once told me "No white women worth her salt is going to date a nigger like you". And for the most part, it's true. Why face social stigma and attack when you can just stay in your own circle?

Read this quote. Read it again. And again. And again. Because the amount of wrong in this quote alone is staggering.

Seems to me that you've completely bought into other peoples stereotypes of blacks/whites. The fact that you think that if you're black you can only get a white woman that is

a. overweight
b. has kids
c. a whore/druggie/low life

And if you're a white woman you'll only date a black man for

a. The experience
b. Light skinned muhfucka like HarSon

Really says a lot on how twisted your world view is. You do know that there are plenty of people in the bct that has been in interracial relationships right? Why don't you try to prove your theory by asking them what their SO was in that list above and lets see how successful you are.

 

[ReiGun]

It's not. Keep at it.



yep this all sounds very familiar. this is going to sound stupid (and i don't halfway believe it myself but it works some days), but you have to live with it. everybody cant be popular. everybody cant get all the girls. thats just life. i know it would be so much easier, but you cant quit just because you get rejected.

Yup. Over time, you learn you just have to just do what you can to make your life better.

 

[soundscream]

You might also want to take baby steps. Before looking for a girl I would suggest just trying to find some people your age to hang out with. Going to bars, is not what you should be doing right now. Find people at work, or locally who have similar interest. You had a friend so it proves you can form a connection with someone. You need to get that done first because it sounds you might have a self confidence issue, and women can smell that from a mile away.

 

[Boss Riovane]

I dont know what the hell happened over the last couple pages but damn. Crush man I feel for you and you have experienced a lot of shit in life. But in the words of Langston Hughes Life is not a crystal stair. Shit will happen good and bad and its all about how you approach and take it in. When you watch people get literally treated like a dog "leash and all" for looking at a white woman then holla at me.

And about that interracial dating......

I am a 324 lb five feet 9 inch black and puerto rican male who for the last 10 years since getting out of the military does nothing but date white women. And for the last 8 been with a white professional white woman who not only put her ex husband through school and held down a business in the middle of Alabama pushing 6 figures and a flawless nursing record for the last 28 years. And about bringing it home to the family my mother and my lady are 2 years apart in age and they act like sisters when they get together. Maybe I am the exception to the damn rule but making a generalized statement based on past experience I can understand but trust me there are plenty out there chomping at the bit who are not overweight and have their shit together. Yeah and my girl is 5' 8 145 lbs. and looks like a damn brickhouse. And let me add I live in Georgia. From Louisiana and she is from Alabama. I mean if you dont believe me come to the south. Trust me good and bad it will change your horizons.

And a couple cats I know and hang with our way darker than I and pull 10s left and right. Professional women doctors and lawyers and they love black men.

Life is too awesome even dealing with racist everyday to be letting the bullshit take your happiness. There are asshats out there who WILL have it out for you but letting them get to you is letting them take your life. Dont give them that shit at all. Be a better man and rise above the assholes. Good things WILL come.

 

[Gorillaz]

Off topic but what do yall think about the Jay Z/beyonce getting "clearance" from Obama to go to Cuba? People been on there ass ever since

 

[soundscream]

Off topic but what do yall think about the Jay Z/beyonce getting "clearance" from Obama to go to Cuba?

I think they didn't, they went through the proper channels. Like Jay-Z would actually bother him with that.

 

[Gorillaz]

I think they didn't, they went through the proper channels. Like Jay-Z would actually bother him with that.

Yea I was wondering about who it came from saw this vid where a chick legit asked a white house correspondent about it, by bringing up Jay's new track lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlNYL64gzH4

 

[soundscream]

Yea I was wondering about who it came from saw this vid where a chick legit asked a white house correspondent about it, by bringing up Jay's new track lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlNYL64gzH4

Its no different then when they were saying he had a Hip Hop bbq, its just noise.

 

[The Faceless Master]

Just read that other thread about Mumbai

Crushdance what in the fuck

wow. CrushDance was REAL AS FUCK in there. i need to save those posts in evernote as a self-motivational tool.

 

[CrushDance]

You might also want to take baby steps. Before looking for a girl I would suggest just trying to find some people your age to hang out with. Going to bars, is not what you should be doing right now. Find people at work, or locally who have similar interest. You had a friend so it proves you can form a connection with someone. You need to get that done first because it sounds you might have a self confidence issue, and women can smell that from a mile away.

It's very easy though to "fall back" if you will when you get discriminated against. It's not that I never tried to be outgoing and meet people. But when you get attacked like that though, it becomes very difficult to differentiate between people. I know it's wrong and it's something that I have to work on.

I dont know what the hell happened over the last couple pages but damn. Crush man I feel for you and you have experienced a lot of shit in life. But in the words of Langston Hughes Life is not a crystal stair. Shit will happen good and bad and its all about how you approach and take it in. When you watch people get literally treated like a dog "leash and all" for looking at a white woman then holla at me.

And about that interracial dating......

I am a 324 lb five feet 9 inch black and puerto rican male who for the last 10 years since getting out of the military does nothing but date white women. And for the last 8 been with a white professional white woman who not only put her ex husband through school and held down a business in the middle of Alabama pushing 6 figures and a flawless nursing record for the last 28 years. And about bringing it home to the family my mother and my lady are 2 years apart in age and they act like sisters when they get together. Maybe I am the exception to the damn rule but making a generalized statement based on past experience I can understand but trust me there are plenty out there chomping at the bit who are not overweight and have their shit together. Yeah and my girl is 5' 8 145 lbs. and looks like a damn brickhouse. And let me add I live in Georgia. From Louisiana and she is from Alabama. I mean if you dont believe me come to the south. Trust me good and bad it will change your horizons.

And a couple cats I know and hang with our way darker than I and pull 10s left and right. Professional women doctors and lawyers and they love black men.

Life is too awesome even dealing with racist everyday to be letting the bullshit take your happiness. There are asshats out there who WILL have it out for you but letting them get to you is letting them take your life. Dont give them that shit at all. Be a better man and rise above the assholes. Good things WILL come.

Well like I said though. It's not that such relationships don't exist, they're just rare and often troubled. Most white people know of racism, but they don't experience it first hand often until they walk with a black person especially. And for me, wading through a bunch of people that will judge on the colour thing first is very painstaking. I'm happy for those of you who have found those people though. Even during the days of segregation, there were black/white couples and other combinations too. I just think that there is a tremendous amount of societal pressure and scorn that dictates how and who can get away with it. Either if you're rich/famous or if you're a nobody and not wanted by the majority. It's terrible every-time a black/white couple emerges and people talk endless trash about them.

But I digress. I'm just not sure what to use my life for. I know what I want to use it for, but I also admit that it's not what I'd always dreamed either. Anyway, I have to go take my medicine and sleep before work. Sorry about the derail.

 

[soundscream]

It's very easy though to "fall back" if you will when you get discriminated against. It's not that I never tried to be outgoing and meet people. But when you get attacked like that though, it becomes very difficult to differentiate between people. I know it's wrong and it's something that I have to work on.

Well like I said though. It's not that such relationships don't exist, they're just rare and often troubled. Most white people know of racism, but they don't experience it first hand often until they walk with a black person especially. And for me, wading through a bunch of people that will judge on the colour thing first is very painstaking. I'm happy for those of you who have found those people though. Even during the days of segregation, there were black/white couples and other combinations too. I just think that there is a tremendous amount of societal pressure and scorn that dictates how and who can get away with it. Either if you're rich/famous or if you're a nobody and not wanted by the majority. It's terrible every-time a black/white couple emerges and people talk endless trash about them.

But I digress. I'm just not sure what to use my life for. I know what I want to use it for, but I also admit that it's not what I'd always dreamed either. Anyway, I have to go take my medicine and sleep before work. Sorry about the derail.

Also maybe a change of scenery would do you good? Move to an area with a more diverse population.