FakeGAF 6: Fear the Walking Thirst

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Funky Papa said:
I just like to talk shit.

There was this time I went on a 12 hour train trip. It was absolute, utter misery. Never again.
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I'm still counting that this was a misunderstanding. I'll charge up my Vita and download a bunch of podcasts anyways so at least I can keep myself busy if I can't sleep....on fucking bench!
 
Funky Papa said:
Leather con? Well, that sounds kinky.

Deets?
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People wear leather and talk about leather and trade leather and buy leather and sell leather and mostly just get sweaty and sticky in leather and occasionally glued to their leather pants because they put baby powder inside the leather
 
Jobbs said:
People wear leather and talk about leather and trade leather and buy leather and sell leather and mostly just get sweaty and sticky in leather and occasionally glued to their leather pants because they put baby powder inside the leather
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I've been to a tannery.

That sounds really smelly.

FUME5 said:
I assume some entrepreneurs make a lot of money on anti-chafing products at that con.
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Baby powder works fine, I've been told.
 
Funky Papa said:
Leather con? Well, that sounds kinky.

Deets?
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Right now she is describing a scene at the hotel where she ran into a Daisy Chain of 6 dudes fishing on a balcony.

Another dude is talking about how Blumpkins are the ultimate show of trust, love and respect.

There was a dude talking about his 100v electrified butt plug.

Discussion of pups, who are apparently dudes who dress as dogs and are looking for someone to submit to.
 
The day I shit in front of my girlfriend is the same day I'm locked inside a vault with her caught up in a villain's evil plot and I literally have no physical choice
 
Ceallach said:
Right now she is describing a scene at the hotel where she ran into a Daisy Chain of 6 dudes fishing on a balcony.

Another dude is talking about how Blumpkins are the ultimate show of trust, love and respect.

There was a dude talking about his 100v electrified butt plug.

Discussion of pups, who are apparently dudes who dress as dogs and are looking for someone to submit to.
Click to expand...

I actually had to google the bolded.

KvC1goG.png


I've been known for having kinky tendencies, but there's a point when enough is enough.
 
Jobbs said:
The day I shit in front of my girlfriend is the same day I'm locked inside a vault with her caught up in a villain's evil plot and I literally have no physical choice
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I'd say "same", but maybe we just didn't find that one girlfriend yet Jobbs.
 
Bufbaf said:
I'd say "same", but maybe we just didn't find that one girlfriend yet Jobbs.
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I won't even shit in the same house as the person I'm seeing. It hasn't moved onto that stage yet. I just won't do it. How about them apples, Baf?

That's like 8 steps removed from blumpkin.
 
Funky Papa said:
I actually had to google the bolded.

I've been known for having kinky tendencies, but there's a point when enough is enough.
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Guys who want me to blow them while they shit is why I carry a gun.

Apparently they have what sound like gas cans full of lube ready all over the place, wtf.

There is now a dude describing how hot he looks with cum on his face.
 
Jobbs said:
The day I shit in front of my girlfriend is the same day I'm locked inside a vault with her caught up in a villain's evil plot and I literally have no physical choice
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Mine is just in the habit of strutting in at any given time. It doesn't matter if I'm showering, trimming my beard or dumping a sequoia-like log. There's no option for me.

Then again, just yesterday she expelled the most revolting and unladylike fart I've ever munched upon while we were having dinner, so there's that.

Ceallach said:
Guys who want me to blow them while they shit is why I carry a gun.

Apparently they have what sound like gas cans full of lube ready all over the place, wtf.

There is now a dude describing how hot he looks with cum on his face.
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Sounds as revolting as intriguing, much in a gruesome car crash kind of way.
 
I like bufbaf

Funky Papa said:
Then again, just yesterday she expelled the most revolting and unladylike fart I've ever munched upon while we were having dinner, so there's that.
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I get that people have to fart sometimes and occasionally experiencing eachothers' farts is going to be an inevitability, but that doesn't mean that you should just let loose without a care. At least TRY to be discrete. Keep a little romance going, yes?

Funky Papa said:
But would you sexually identify as a bufbaf?
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:: nervously decides to future quote a mod.. maybe he'll respect my boldness ::

All signs point to yes
 
Jobbs said:
I like bufbaf
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But would you sexually identify as a bufbaf?

Jobbs said:
I get that people have to fart sometimes and occasionally experiencing eachothers' farts is going to be an inevitability, but that doesn't mean that you should just let loose without a care. At least TRY to be discrete. Keep a little romance going, yes?
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Girls. It's like once they've seen you peeing they are allowed anything.
 
Funky Papa said:
Mine is just in the habit of strutting in at any given time. It doesn't matter if I'm showering, trimming my beard or dumping a sequoia-like log. There's no option for me.

Then again, just yesterday she expelled the most revolting and unladylike fart I've ever munched upon while we were having dinner, so there's that.


Sounds as revolting as intriguing, much in a gruesome car crash kind of way.
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I can't stop listening. They are asking people's worst sexual experiences. This one dude is talking about how a guy was sitting on his chest blowing him aND the guy left a "Hershey kiss" on his chest because he didn't wipe well before they fucked.

And I've been known to let some wretched protein farts go myself, so I sympathize with your girl. It's just one of the downsides to staying in shape.
 
Ceallach said:
I can't stop listening. They are asking people's worst sexual experiences. This one dude is talking about how a guy was sitting on his chest blowing him aND the guy left a "Hershey kiss" on his chest because he didn't wipe well before they fucked.

And I've been known to let some wretched protein farts go myself, so I sympathize with your girl. It's just one of the downsides to staying in shape.
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IqlIBPE.jpg


I feel blessed for having such a comparatively uneventful and healthy intimate life.

I mean, that's not to say I haven't been involved into something that made me/somebody else feel like crap/run to a pharmacy/experience grieving pain, but 99% of those situations turned into the kind of zanny memories you wouldn't mind sharing with your closest friends after a few beers.

And yes, protein farts are vile. The time I was mixing Optimum whey with oats 50/50 for breakfast made me a social recluse.

Edit: More updates, pls. And where the hell are you that people talk so casually about poo fetishes? The most notable thing I overheard is roid fiend talk at my gym.
 
Jobbs said:
I won't even pee in front of my cats. They stare and it's creepy. What makes you think I'd pee in front of a human woman
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I mean, I don't really want to give the dog scritches while I'm taking a shit, but what are you going to do?

EDIT

Oh, had a FWB that took a piss with the door open the very next time after the B had been added to the descriptor. Didn't bother me, didn't want to watch either.
 
I just ordered a baby bouncer that I am stupidly excited to get and try out. It also gives me an excuse to walk around Toys R Us at lunch and look at Nerf guns.
 
FUME5 said:
Sexy masseuse time.
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Used to have a friend that did this. Wish she was still around to get this knot out.

Halcyon said:
I just ordered a baby bouncer that I am stupidly excited to get and try out. It also gives me an excuse to walk around Toys R Us at lunch and look at Nerf guns.
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Ordering a baby bouncer seems like something that would qualify for a ticket to purchase a Star Wars Nerf gun.
 
Breaking news: I think my coworker is one of the top five dumbest people I have ever fucking met

We just had a debate that the east coast calls it pop instead of soda...even though I'm from the east coast and we fucking don't.

Him: "Of course the east coast calls it pop, they call it pop on That 70's Show and that's the east."

Me: "dude, That 70's Show is set in fucking Wisconsin....which is in the Midwest...."

Him: "yeah but it's eastern Midwest"

Me: "do you realize that you have a brain you can use or"
 
Granadier said:
Used to have a friend that did this. Wish she was still around to get this knot out.



Ordering a baby bouncer seems like something that would qualify for a ticket to purchase a Star Wars Nerf gun.
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The problem is that I now want this and it's 70 dollars.
auto-nerf-rival.jpg
 
WhereAreMahDragonz said:
Breaking news: I think my coworker is one of the top five dumbest people I have ever fucking met

We just had a debate that the east coast calls it pop instead of soda...even though I'm from the east coast and we fucking don't.

Him: "Of course the east coast calls it pop, they call it pop on That 70's Show and that's the east."

Me: "dude, That 70's Show is set in fucking Wisconsin....which is in the Midwest...."

Him: "yeah but it's eastern Midwest"

Me: "do you realize that you have a brain you can use or"
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Wisconsin is definitely not eastern midwest, its more central. ohio would be eastern midwest.

also wisconsin apparently has a large portion of soda speakers
soda-pop.png
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Everyone calls it pop here and at some point in high school I just wanted to start saying "soda" instead so I just started saying "I like to call it soda" when someone would ask if I wanted a pop.

I mean it all stems from "soda pop" so who cares what word is used.
 
Halcyon said:
Everyone calls it pop here and at some point in high school I just wanted to start saying "soda" instead so I just started saying "I like to call it soda" when someone would ask if I wanted a pop.

I mean it all stems from "soda pop" so who cares what word is used.
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i think soda sounds less dumb so i usually say that. definitely get some crap for it though
 
Soda's just a faster term and I'm not saying pop.

So Windam actually is younger than me, making me the 2nd youngest person in FakeGAF
 
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