I'm married and I've never talked with my wife on the phone for anything close to three hours, even with stuff with planning the wedding and my stepson's cancer treatment. I think maybe there were a couple of hour long calls after a fight, but goddamn, there would ne no way I would talk with anyone on the phone for three hours. She sounds like an attention whore of the highest level. If you are communicating fine in person, she should not really have an issue. Most people don't like talking on the phone especially for THREE FUCKING HOURS.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Incendiary
Banned
Giving anyone full attention on the phone for 3 hours is hard to do. Is this a long-distance relationship? The only time I've talked on the phone for that long is when I was in an LDR and that was the main way we were able to have conversations and be with each other (in the days before Skype and FaceTime). Also the fact that she's complaining you're not giving her your undivided attention is a sign of neediness. If you start playing games in the middle of a face-to-face convo, that's one thing. But would she chastise you if you do things like the dishes? Or clean your place? Because when I'm on the phone with most people I'm also taking care of shit. Especially for 3 hours.
You probably want to apologize but don't go 100%. There needs to be a little give from her - if you don't like talking on the phone for that long, she needs to accept either shorter calls or stop getting upset if you multitask when the call starts getting long in tooth.
Here are a few ideas on how to interrupt a 3-hr phone call:
- Sorry I have to stop here, I think someone just broke in
- Oh my god, my kitchen is on fire!!
- I have a job interview in an hour and I need time to prepare
- hold on, my house is entering a tunnel *make static noises*
- I have a samsung s7 note and I... (Just hang up)
- Hey, it's been great talking to you, but I have to call it a day because of [trivial reason that doesn't matter, because you need to be able to set limits]
- Sorry I have to stop here, I think someone just broke in
- Oh my god, my kitchen is on fire!!
- I have a job interview in an hour and I need time to prepare
- hold on, my house is entering a tunnel *make static noises*
- I have a samsung s7 note and I... (Just hang up)
- Hey, it's been great talking to you, but I have to call it a day because of [trivial reason that doesn't matter, because you need to be able to set limits]
Syphon Filter
Member
Considering talking to this girl I see in a store recently. The thing is she is a cashier so I don't think it would be a good time to while she is constantly busy. Anyone have any ideas?
Asking someone out while they're in the middle of work can sometimes be tricky. Have you chatted with her before? Enough to toss in a "hey, would you like to get coffee sometime" type of line?
Gotdatmoney
Member
This is nothing to be proud of
Um... Congrats?
I'd ask for her name and if it she wouldn't mind if I added her on Facebook. Doesn't take a lot of time (if there's a queue behind you) and it'll be clear pretty quickly if she's interested or not (gave you a fake name, etc...).
Work in retail myself and it'd work for me!
Clay Davis
Member
Hello dating gaf.
How's everyone going today? I have an update, we went on our first date on Tuesday and it went really well. We talked for what felt like hours, went from place to place and ended the date with a hug and a plan to meet again tonight.
We've been messaging a lot too and it hasn't really done anything to make things seem boring. We messaged a lot yesterday and then still had stuff to talk about during our skype chat. I'm really happy I took the chance and so far we're getting on really well, but I'm worried about something that's part of the reason why I'm posting.
While we were talking last night we touched upon our past relationships and I'm worried about telling her about my past. I want to be honest, but at the same time I know it's not something you can just bring up so early into dating, so I'm wondering what do more seasoned daters think I should do? Steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up again as I did last night, tell her everything or just say it wasn't a good relationship and I'd prefer not to talk about it?
I'm leaning towards the third option but I'll add we'll talk it once we get to know each other better?
How's everyone going today? I have an update, we went on our first date on Tuesday and it went really well. We talked for what felt like hours, went from place to place and ended the date with a hug and a plan to meet again tonight.
We've been messaging a lot too and it hasn't really done anything to make things seem boring. We messaged a lot yesterday and then still had stuff to talk about during our skype chat. I'm really happy I took the chance and so far we're getting on really well, but I'm worried about something that's part of the reason why I'm posting.
While we were talking last night we touched upon our past relationships and I'm worried about telling her about my past. I want to be honest, but at the same time I know it's not something you can just bring up so early into dating, so I'm wondering what do more seasoned daters think I should do? Steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up again as I did last night, tell her everything or just say it wasn't a good relationship and I'd prefer not to talk about it?
I'm leaning towards the third option but I'll add we'll talk it once we get to know each other better?
I think you kind of need to pump the brakes in general to begin with. You've only been on one date. This person doesn't need to know your whole life's story. You're fine with saying that you don't want to talk about some things. If she is upset by that, that would be a huge red flag IMO. Back off a little, make sure you are still living outside of this little bubble you have already created instead of messaging each other (a very passive and weak way of actually communicating IMO) for hours on end every day. I'm already getting a sense of co-dependency.
Seems like you answered your own question in that last sentence. That's what I would do.
ZeronosVega
Member
I'm all for being honest, but there's no reason for you to start telling her your life's story when you've only just started seeing each other. If she asks, then feel free to give an honest (and generally concise) answer, but don't go telling her everything about yourself at any given opportunity.
Yes, yes you can. You can also just ask for her number or Facebook info and message a little before asking them on a date. Just a little though...the first date is still where you want to do the bulk of the "getting to know you"
Kiever Sher
Member
Friday: Serious essay long messages on okc. Late Friday, whatsapp chatting and a few light hearted pic exchanges
Sat-Weds: Constant messaging, date made for Thurs
Thurs: GREAT date. She laughs, constantly compliments me etc etc. Make out and minor groping. She says she'd come home with me if I lived closer.
4am Thurs: ''Can't believe I ate pizza alone! Only down side of a highlight filled date!''
Fri: We're both hungover, talk about what a good date it was. Develops into sexting, naked pics from her etc. She says a LOT of filthy things
Sat-Sun: Minor talk...
Mon: ''What did I agree to do if you did that thing?
''Go on another date''
''We can do that''
Tues. ''Are you available this week?
Weds -
Thurs: Minor family emergency! Sorry. Maybe next week?
Fri: ''Cool as long as it wasn't a hint! How are you?''
Nothing since then. 6 days. This is over right? Anyone have this rapid cool off? Is it a record? I wouldn't even mind if it was a totally physical thing but we talked so much and we had so much in common. I liked her.
Finished? Should I go back? Give it a week? Maybe her dad fell out of a plane (I can hope, right?) Does she just collect ab pics? Leave it alone I guess. Women confuse my tiny brain.
Sat-Weds: Constant messaging, date made for Thurs
Thurs: GREAT date. She laughs, constantly compliments me etc etc. Make out and minor groping. She says she'd come home with me if I lived closer.
4am Thurs: ''Can't believe I ate pizza alone! Only down side of a highlight filled date!''
Fri: We're both hungover, talk about what a good date it was. Develops into sexting, naked pics from her etc. She says a LOT of filthy things
Sat-Sun: Minor talk...
Mon: ''What did I agree to do if you did that thing?
''Go on another date''
''We can do that''
Tues. ''Are you available this week?
Weds -
Thurs: Minor family emergency! Sorry. Maybe next week?
Fri: ''Cool as long as it wasn't a hint! How are you?''
Nothing since then. 6 days. This is over right? Anyone have this rapid cool off? Is it a record? I wouldn't even mind if it was a totally physical thing but we talked so much and we had so much in common. I liked her.
Finished? Should I go back? Give it a week? Maybe her dad fell out of a plane (I can hope, right?) Does she just collect ab pics? Leave it alone I guess. Women confuse my tiny brain.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Anyway, it's over, move on. That's just part of online dating. Don't overinvest.
Kiever Sher
Member
I will never forget her.
But the plane comment, I just meant maybe she had a legit family thing come up. And I did only meet her once so she wouldn't feel the need to explain too much to me.
But yeah, probably finished. Unreasonably bummed about it.
But the plane comment, I just meant maybe she had a legit family thing come up. And I did only meet her once so she wouldn't feel the need to explain too much to me.
But yeah, probably finished. Unreasonably bummed about it.
This seems like such an odd sentence. She's a new classmate, and you have no classes. And you also share no classes. How do these no classes with classmates work?
Also, say hi to her and ask her to get coffee if you see her again.
Haha, I figured it was just an exageration or example, I just found the wording funny
There's no way to really know what happened, but I get the sense that maybe she just wanted sex and it didn't happen, so she moved on, but didn't want any confrontation/drama about it. TBH you should have probably asked her out (with a definite time/date instead of "are you available this week") as soon as the sexting/dick picks started instead of texting for another week.
Kiever Sher
Member
Haha, I figured it was just an exageration or example, I just found the wording funny
Ha, no problem man.
Fuck. But all that stuff about how she wanted to cook for me sometime etc??? She wanted to USE me. And no dick pics thankfully! Well; covered dick pics. I should've tried to set it up on the Saturday I guess. Also DURING the sexting she was like ''come over and fuck the shit out of me'' She lives with her parents though so I thought it was part of the.. thing. maybe it was literal and her parents were gone. Yeah it was probably literal. People as dumb as me should be banned from life.
Hey guys. So things are going pretty great with my new ladyfriend (been in constant contact since August), but there is still the problem of being able to find somewhere to be..intimate.
What is the general going rates for not completely shitty hotels? The cheapest ones I've seen are around $70/night, which is way higher than what I was expecting. Not to mention these aren't exactly the Ritz-Carlton.
What is the general going rates for not completely shitty hotels? The cheapest ones I've seen are around $70/night, which is way higher than what I was expecting. Not to mention these aren't exactly the Ritz-Carlton.
Varies widely depending on the city, time of year, day of the week, local events going on, etc. For instance here in Minneapolis it might be anywhere from $100 to $400 in a Hilton.
$70 is pretty cheap. The only place that would be cheaper is something like a Motel 6. Otherwise you can try to get a last minute deal on a site like Priceline.
$70 is pretty cheap. The only place that would be cheaper is something like a Motel 6. Otherwise you can try to get a last minute deal on a site like Priceline.
$50-$70 is bottom of the barrel around where I am. You might find cheaper at places that have no online presence and you have to call to book...
AirBNB might be cheaper and easier though.
ZackieChan
Member
Weird. You were together for a week at the most, right?
Just went ahead and booked one. Not the nicest part of town, and for $85, but as long as the bed is functioning, whatever. We only need it for one thing, after all, hehe.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I've shared this story before, but with my current girlfriend, we had an incredible first date and planned another, but she got sick and cancelled. Her texting became very sporadic, and while I did try to move on it didn't go well (bombed another date, sorry for wasting your time girl whose name I can't remember). However, I kept persisting (probably overdid it to be honest) and we did eventually have a second date when she recovered.
So that's one instance of it working out. But I've also had flakes and excuses, so who knows which scenario yours falls in.
So that's one instance of it working out. But I've also had flakes and excuses, so who knows which scenario yours falls in.
By Swe, do you mean Sweden? If so, Tinder simply eclipses all other dating sites over here. I haven't been to any real dating site myself, but Tinder is just vastly more popular. If you haven't tried it then you should.
Kiever Sher
Member
Mild exaggeration from me! BUT I won't deny I get attached to people quickly. Meaning I'll think of her and what could've gone differently for about... 2 months or so. I'm trying to stop that, I know it's dumb.
How did it go Jindrax?Got the date tomorrow brothers!!!!! wish me luck
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, it ain't healthy
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you wanna stop doing that you gotta change your mentality bruh. 2 months of a girl you saw for a week? What was so special that you would be on iy for that long.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
|OT7|
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
3 hours on the phone 0 hours on the bone is my mantra
Fuck me, man. A Colombian girl on Tinder super liked me on Wednesday. She looked sexy so I liked her back. Turns out she was in Bruges (where I live) and saw me at a bar. She randomly found me on Tinder the next day. We haven't met up, because she had to leave before I could make time. We added each other on whatsapp and talked and flirted a bit. She's back in Colombia now, and she wants to come back just to meet me. That sounds totally fucking bonkers.
Not matter how hot she is be very careful. You've never met this person and you've talked to her very little. Shit can go sideways for you in several different ways.
Exactly. I barely know this girl. Just told her that it does not sound like a good idea and that a it would be too much for me.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
ZackieChan
Member
"0 hours on the bone" strikes again.
Gaiages is a female lol.
As for the rest of your post, don't worry about it as there will be other opportunities in the future.
It sounds like bullshit to me. If she was leaving the continent, why was she looking on Tinder? I smell a scam here. Like she'll say "I really want to come back to meet you, but I need $1000 for an airplane ticket" sort of thing.
Yeah it's Sweden. I've already tried Tinder and it's basically the same damn thing. Probably liked over 300 people there and still nothing. I'm starting to near a breaking point where I don't know what the hell i'm supposed to do.
I either just quit and live a miserable life alone or I just get someone from China like most men in their 50-60's do since I'm unable to get someone from here
Roufianos
Member
So I was dating this girl for a few weeks and it was going really well, I was actually quite optimistic but just taking it step by step.
All of a sudden she texts me at 1am a few nights ago telling me that she's unsure what she wants. She hates waiting around for me to text, she doesn't want to base her happiness on someone and bullshit like that.
She also says she really likes me but it's on a shallow level and she's not sure if she's ready to commit at a time when it's starting to get serious.
I tell her that I feel the same way as we've only met a few times. We're not just gonna meet and fall in love and get into a relationship. I think it was still very early days and not serious at all.
She proposes that we don't speak and that she'll text me when she realises how she feels. It could be a day or up to a week.
I tell her fuck that, I'm starting a post-grad course this week and really don't need to be on edge waiting for her to message.
She also admitted to being hooked on weed which I would guess all the paranoia comes from. She'd previously told me that she'd never had a relationship or been on a date because guy's only treated her as a fuck buddy.
It's pretty clear now that's what she wanted. She kept talking about sex and saying that I was too smooth to genuinely want to date. I think she pulled out once she realised that I was being genuine.
Girls on Tinder are such fucking weirdos. Maybe I should just change my approach and forget trying to actually date them.
All of a sudden she texts me at 1am a few nights ago telling me that she's unsure what she wants. She hates waiting around for me to text, she doesn't want to base her happiness on someone and bullshit like that.
She also says she really likes me but it's on a shallow level and she's not sure if she's ready to commit at a time when it's starting to get serious.
I tell her that I feel the same way as we've only met a few times. We're not just gonna meet and fall in love and get into a relationship. I think it was still very early days and not serious at all.
She proposes that we don't speak and that she'll text me when she realises how she feels. It could be a day or up to a week.
I tell her fuck that, I'm starting a post-grad course this week and really don't need to be on edge waiting for her to message.
She also admitted to being hooked on weed which I would guess all the paranoia comes from. She'd previously told me that she'd never had a relationship or been on a date because guy's only treated her as a fuck buddy.
It's pretty clear now that's what she wanted. She kept talking about sex and saying that I was too smooth to genuinely want to date. I think she pulled out once she realised that I was being genuine.
Girls on Tinder are such fucking weirdos. Maybe I should just change my approach and forget trying to actually date them.
lol, sounds like you were dating my old friend
You can find a serious relationship on Tinder, but many (in the US at least) use it more for hookups than something serious. You might wanna try OKCupid or Coffee Meets Bagel.
Also, completely unrelated to this post, "x hours doing ___, 0 hours on the bone" will be my new answer to everything.
Incendiary
Banned
Man, I must just suck at Tinder - I'm looking for something casual and all the girls I match on Tinder want more serious stuff. I'm hesitant to go back to OKCupid - been thinking about Coffee Meets Bagel but if that's even more relationship oriented, hmmmmm maybe not.
Also after reading this thread I'm sorely tempted to make my Tinder profile "Too many hours on my phone, not enough hours on my bone."
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