You missed out on this opportunity because you were too passive. 90% of the time women want the man to take charge and lead. If a woman wants to have sex with you, most of the time she won't unless you go through the courting ritual because she doesn't want to be seen as a slut. Think of it like driving. You control the accelerator, but she steers how far things go with whatever speed she is comfortable with. If you go too fast, she can tell you to slow down, but she can never tell you to speed up. If you don't escalate the physical contact, the relationship won't go anywhere, and you never made it past the friend stage (i.e., out of the gate) because you failed to initiate. Learn from this.
Nah, I can't use that excuse, because I live in the San Francisco Bay Area (though it ain't fun commuting to the city proper) so that's like, no excuse right there.
It's good you're trying not to make excuses...
Still hasn't happened. I'm definitely not holding out for that. By now I doubt there is anyone left on this forum sans City who'd be willing to put up with me in person, since they can barely put up with me online.
...but this is an excuse. Earlier in this thread, a person offered to introduce you to two of his friends who play games and are cool. Did you take him up on that? Also, how many hours do you spend working and commuting to work? If you're working more than 10 hours a day, it can be difficult to make time for a personal life, but if you're not working that much, there's plenty of time to socialize on a weeknight. I do it all the time, visiting friends and going out for drinks on weeknights, while working a 9 hr job (including lunch).
Ok GAF, I need some opinions.
So I've been regularly messaging these two girls on okcupid. In both situations, ~5 messages have been sent from both sides. I figured it was best to upgrade from okc messaging to texting, so I gave both of the girls my number.
Opinions? Am I over thinking the whole thing?
My opinion is you're doing it wrong and taking too long to get to the date. I often throw an invite into the first message asking to meet for drinks. If not the first, I'll do it by the second or third tops. I've had two multi-year relationships from girls I met on match, and my suggestion is keep the non-in-person communication to the bare minimum. I consider it wasting both of your time trying to build rapport online, because there is so much to face-to-face communication that is lost online. Why spend time developing a pen pal when you may meet and not feel any chemistry? Also, if the girl is hesitant to meet in-person, chances are she is not interested in dating.
Texted M again last night that I was really confused why she was ignoring me after SHE asked me to meet and talk. Now this morning:
Her: "I don't want to date anyone and I don't want to drag this out so just...so please understand. I don't want to meet on Tues. I'm sorry."
Me: "I'm glad you're finally honest, but you won't even use the phone and let me say what I wanted? I think you owe me that much...texts suck."
Seriously, texting sucks. She was the one dragging this out, not me. I actually feel a lot better knowing what she wants, but hiding behind texts is just pathetic.
Someone already mentioned this, but this girl doesn't owe you anything. You're a guy she made out with at a bar. If you haven't even been to second base with this girl, you're basically nobody. She doesn't owe you an explanation for flaking, but it's a good sign she called you back and apologized.
UgH. I'm rattled. I'm gonna write this down, even though seeing it written makes the situation sound worse than it is.
So i've been dating this girl for two months. We are incredibly similar, as in, we not only have the same likes and dislikes, we have the same problems. And we deal with them in the same way (by watching stand-up and laying in bed all day).
After a good week of not seeing each other, we (and by we, I mean she) had a five hour conversation. She's been going through a horrible time recently, with about seven problems compounding each other. And I felt terrible, because we're so similar if I knew how to make her happy, I'd already be happy.
She told she's been snapping on people lately, and I noticed she was doing the same thing with me.
One day later, one of her relatives died.
She said she was overwhelmed, and she wanted a break. I said fine, I can undersrand that kind of stress. I told her I was there for her if she needs me. I've texted her twice since then (ten days ago). I'm finding out things from other people, and feel like I'm the last one to know anything/ I'm inconveinencing her by even trying totalk to her.
I dunno, man...I mean, I WANT to see her. But I dont want to pressure her. On the one hand, a romantic gesture would be too much, I guess. On the other hand, I shouldn't be feeling bad for contacting my girlfriend two days in a row.
Thoughts?
All she wants is the offer of emotional support. If she doesn't take you up on it, that's her prerogative, but the comfort of knowing it's there is all she wants. Don't pester her by being too 'helpful.' Also, people have different times of when they feel comfortable opening up to a person. Some people tell you too much too soon, and some take a long time to build comfort before they bring you into their inner circle. She sounds like the latter.
