I'm gonna be an absolute emotional vampire and come right out and say 'please can I have some reassuring words please?' Maybe better off posting in the mental health thread but I don't even half know any of those folks. Not sure if I'm annoying people, it's just a mess in my head at the moment.
Reassurance, huh? I'm a bit out of practice, but try these:
You are nice(1), smart(2), funny(3), sociable(4), entertaining(5), dogged(6), compassionate(7), determined(8), helpful(9) and considerate(10). Probably also modest(11). Therefore you deserve the best.
Footnotes:
(1) Every post is made in apparent good humour, more than I can say for most of us (me included)
(2) You read books! But you wear your learning lightly.
(3) Deadpan is best
(4) Many lesser mortals have fallen by the wayside in BritGaf, whereas you were here and in the thick of it and accepted from your very first post. That takes some doing (and a great avatar).
(5) It's the way you sneak in little off-the-wall things into posts about something else that weaves your online persona into something more substantial
(6) This needs a footnote? No it doesn't.
(7) Always among the first to the fallen, and never a word out of place.
(8) You just don't give up do you? Or at least if you do, you are not letting on.
(9) Best advice is advice given with a (virtual) smile. Seen you do that so many times.
(10) Yeah you are. Don't know what you are like underneath, but here you are considerateness personified.
(11) for example, hiding your lights under a bushel or two in PMs
I'm not up to speed here, so I've no idea what is getting at you. But whatever it is then (a) it's probably not your fault, and (b) you've almost certainly got the wherewithal to deal with it - unless you are also duplicitous(12)
(12) No evidence of that whatsoever.