NinjaBoiX
Member
Excellent sploatee!repost for new page said:
I had a metal clad triple clutch bad boy in school, it would spin for ages. Walk the dog, around the world, rock the cradle, I knew all the tricks.
Wot a dweeb.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
BritGAF |OT5| Superb Birds, Absurd Turds and Disturbed Nerds
- Thread starter Mikeside
- Start date
- Status
Wot a dweeb.
It's alright for some! We were thankful for a bootlace tied to a stick and a mouthful of hot gravel for breakfast!
TROLL POST, JUNIOR!
(pls imagine I put junior in size 78 comic sans for max irritation)
dapperbandit
Banned
My primary school banned pretty much anything that achieved popularity. Pokemon cards, Warhammer, GoGos, Yoyo's, Pogs, Beyblade, even fucking paper aeroplanes.
The paper planes story always makes me laugh though. I was one of the kids that satyed behind at the after school creche because my neglectful mother would pick me up an hour later than everyone else. Because there was nothing better to do, myself and the other kids set about trying to make the best paper aeroplane. So you can picture dozens of pieces of folded A4 gliding around a room.
A guy called Jack had seemingly created the best one that flew straightest and furthest. But that wasn't good enough. So I said "why don't you put a pencil in the end of it". He complied; what could go wrong? He tests it out, it flys fast but falls fast too. So he decides, the best way to get it to go really far would be to throw it up rather than straight forward. Sure enough, he throws it into the air and as it comes down, the deputy head mistress walks in and the pencil tipped plane went straight in her eye.
I never knew if she was actually blinded. But for the rest of our time at the school, this woman's left eye jiggled around indepent of the other one, though it's natural position was looking down, reminiscent of the googly eyes you put on sock puppets. Jack felt bad and got punished, but nothing happened to me. To this day, I still carry the guilt of knowing it was me who told Jack to do it. I tempted Jack with the promise of a faster paper plane. If only we had said "that's good enough" nobody would have got hurt. But no, we strove for perfection, with little thought to the consequences. I sometimes like to think of this as a metaphor for humanity; had we settled for less the world would be a safer, slower place with less tragedy.
Mostly, I just look back on the time I led Jack astray and a woman's eyeball got speared because of it.
The paper planes story always makes me laugh though. I was one of the kids that satyed behind at the after school creche because my neglectful mother would pick me up an hour later than everyone else. Because there was nothing better to do, myself and the other kids set about trying to make the best paper aeroplane. So you can picture dozens of pieces of folded A4 gliding around a room.
A guy called Jack had seemingly created the best one that flew straightest and furthest. But that wasn't good enough. So I said "why don't you put a pencil in the end of it". He complied; what could go wrong? He tests it out, it flys fast but falls fast too. So he decides, the best way to get it to go really far would be to throw it up rather than straight forward. Sure enough, he throws it into the air and as it comes down, the deputy head mistress walks in and the pencil tipped plane went straight in her eye.
I never knew if she was actually blinded. But for the rest of our time at the school, this woman's left eye jiggled around indepent of the other one, though it's natural position was looking down, reminiscent of the googly eyes you put on sock puppets. Jack felt bad and got punished, but nothing happened to me. To this day, I still carry the guilt of knowing it was me who told Jack to do it. I tempted Jack with the promise of a faster paper plane. If only we had said "that's good enough" nobody would have got hurt. But no, we strove for perfection, with little thought to the consequences. I sometimes like to think of this as a metaphor for humanity; had we settled for less the world would be a safer, slower place with less tragedy.
Mostly, I just look back on the time I led Jack astray and a woman's eyeball got speared because of it.
Don't mind if I do. This will do for the time being.free avatar
The fair breeze blew, the white plane flew,
The pencil jostled free;
I told that Jack but was taken aback
That her eye could no longer see.
D! What's new?
---
Some really good funnies here today. Please accept an awkward stranger hug.
This was too brutal to read. Goddamn, how do you sleep at night?
I used to remember at some point in primary school there was a brief phase/craze for Street Fighter trading cards and they were banned because the headmistress likened the behaviour of collecting/trading cards to drug addiction (don't ask). Of course, with naive kids beings naive kids we assumed the cards were literally drugs so yeah, bizarre times.
Sniffing Pokemon cards behind the bike sheds was a favourite lunch time activity
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
Getting off your mash on Jigglypuff is one of life's most underappreciated pleasures.
dapperbandit
Banned
Like a baby, if baby's cackled in their sleep.
I dunno man it was a weird school and I was a strange boy. Look up Staines Preparatory School on google images and check out the uniforms.
I've only punched two people in the face in my life and both of them were at that school. I punched a friend in the face over a game of rock, paper scissors. I also pretended to think my brother had thrown a basketball at my head and punched him even though I knew full well it was someone else.
Basically, I've only ever hit people I like so none of you are in danger.
Jedeye Sniv
Banned
I love you.
I've been really good actually. Film project I've been working on has been going very well, got a headstart day at University on the 30th of this month so that weekend will be a London-centric one (what with the meet on the 28th and all) and I'm feeling good about life. I'll accept your hug, please accept my awkward hug as well
.I've been really good actually. Film project I've been working on has been going very well, got a headstart day at University on the 30th of this month so that weekend will be a London-centric one (what with the meet on the 28th and all) and I'm feeling good about life. I'll accept your hug, please accept my awkward hug as well
Good news! Enjoy enjoy enjoy.
*awkwardly ends hug and feels awkward*
donkey show
Member
Hi hi. Lovely weather we having. :O
Nerdkiller
Membeur
And all it's doing is making me melt. Thank god I don't have to cut the grass right now or whatever other outdoor manual labour.
Musha_Soturi
Member
DOOOOOONKEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!
How's it going bro? You gonna come down and visit us sometime?
JonathanEx
Member
Ice cream van pulls up right outside our office. It's awesome.
It also plays The Good The Bad and The Ugly as its music.
Can't possibly be gaming side then.
Ha!
I haven't listened to any more mixes yet btw. I feel guilty about it but I just seem to be on a diet of Prince and the Manics albums nobody likes.
Hot Coldman
Banned
why weren't you on stage at E3
I feel ya. There are people over there that think I'm deadly serious about everything I say. It's kinda weird.
FWIW, I think you make some cracking posts.
Ta. You too! Yes in the sales thread I think people really do think that you are deadly serious. I know I do.
You kind of get drawn in though. I've just bowed out of a thread on the Destiny clan a advising someone on the grammar of ownership. It's like communicating with 100 people at once, none of whom understand a word you are really saying. I think it's the Britishness. Seriosity? sincerity? Assertiveness? Oh dear. I think I'll put a brew on.
And the worst of all - why aren't they taking the piss back?'!!?'?"? That freaks me out the most.
Musha_Soturi
Member
I really hope England lose. And not just because I'm Welsh. But because hopefully everyone will stop going on about it so much. And because I don't want it interrupting the Gaf meet.
Jedeye Sniv
Banned
URAGUAY! URAGUAY!
JonathanEx
Member
FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME
IT'S COMING HOME
ON THE NEXT FLIGHT
IT'S COMING HOME
ON THE NEXT FLIGHT
Hot Coldman
Banned
Pac-Man CE DX+ is 2 quid, 3 quid w/ all the DLC. Bargain.
I'm in the same boat here. Selfish I know but I'm fed up with hearing about it already.
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
People would probably be happier if they won. Might make for a more pleasant Summer.
Hot Coldman
Banned
Yeah, the birds would be singing, the sun would be shining, people would be making sweet sweet love in the middle of the street...
wait, nvm, everyone would be getting pissed down the pub still
Too much, Wait for the daily deal!
donkey show
Member
Oh England... you done goofed.
Every day is shorts day.
Hopefully soon! It's rather busy at work for obvious reasons, but I might be headed down in the near future for some things. :3
And welcome back!
The one that comes by work is called Mr. Creamy and gives me a free ice cream every once in awhile... :S
Every day is shorts day.
Hopefully soon! It's rather busy at work for obvious reasons, but I might be headed down in the near future for some things. :3
And welcome back!
The one that comes by work is called Mr. Creamy and gives me a free ice cream every once in awhile... :S
JonathanEx
Member
Freebies from Mr Creamy?
Hm.
Hm.
Hot Coldman
Banned
I am, I am! Just saying.
- Status