I am very tired and not at all with it today. I know this because I just went to the gents and, after doing my business, went to wash my hands. Staring with Stage 1, I squeeze a big lump of foam out of the dispenser, and then forgot stage 2, where you use the sink, and skipped straight to stage 3, where you airdry your hands. We have quite powerful hand driers so naturally, white foam was blasted all over my shirt and crotch. Somebody walks in as I'm trying to clean off these white splodges down the front of my work trousers. I don't know who it was, he took a very sharp turn into one of the cubicles and locks the door. At this point I decide I have been defeated by the universe.
I realise that I am in need of some kind of treat to help me recover. Pride stinging and trousers soggy I go to the vending machine and buy a Snickers. The spiral of metal turns and stops and does't deliver the Snickers. However, this vending machine is smart, and knows I haven't got anything. I still have £1.00 credit and this time, I select a Twix, right next to the undelivered Snickers. In a fantastic repeat of my experience with the M&Ms, the Twix gently caresses the Snickers as it passes and dislodges it, and both fall to the bottom of the machine. At this point, I decide the score is 1-1.
