In about three hours, kiddo will wake up, instantly demand food and then after wolfing it down, she'll burp in my face, furiously expel as much shit as she can muster, and then lie there booting me as I attempt to clean her up. She'll smile at me while she's doing it too. Can't fucking wait, man.
If there's one thing that's taken me by surprise with my first child, it's how rapidly they grow and develop. I've lived around plenty of babies, but I've never scrutinised the minutiae of, well, any other human like I have with my daughter. Even though it's only been five and a half months, so much stuff has happened. I've watched her go from being a useless lump of people-veal that couldn't really do anything other than lie on my chest, to a kid that holds her own bottle, pisses herself laughing, and is rapidly learning how to crawl.
I'm taken aback by how profound simple skills can be if you don't have them. She can make the tiniest breakthrough, and I'll feel like I just watched her stomp the field in a BTCC race*. The first time she looked at an object and then purposefully grasped for it felt epic, so fuck knows what I'll be like when she's riding a bike.
Kid has an abso-fucking-lutely lovely temperament. She's an absolute joy, such a chilled and happy baby. She barely mithers unless she's knackered or hungry, though lately her teeth have been making her occasionally sob. Your heart goes out to 'em when you see that little red face absolutely breathless and roaring in pain and confusion. Aside from the teething, she's the happiest kid I've ever known. She's always smiling or peacefully taking in her surroundings. Her face is tremendously expressive so I can sit and watch her endlessly. Then she'll catch your eye and bust into a huge dummy-dropping grin and it's overwhelming, man. You just can't convey that depth of feeling in words. It is all.
She's not in a great sleep routine, but it'll do. Usually goes up to bed around seven, then gets up around half four for an hour or so, then back to sleep for a couple of hours. Eh, it'll do. All things considered, I've nothing to moan about.
She's definitely bought me and the missus much closer too. It feels like we were meant to be parents all along, it's the confluence of our strengths. It's hard, but it never feels hard. We just seem to know who should do what and when, and we do it. We work together really well and, in combination with a happy baby, it's made for such a positive environment for everyone.
So, uh, yeah. Parenthood and kids and that. Hot shit. I've tried not to talk about it because I know it's a big cliche, but it has been amazing.
Oh, that three hours is now two hours. Shit.
*As I ended that sentence, the 'Bastard Thing That Thinks Your Kid Is Dead When It Actually Isn't 3000' baby monitor went off. It basically sends out a tone that destroys your inner ears in the event that it feels like doing it, and you poke your head into the cot and confirm that it is in fact shit at whatever it's supposed to do. Still, the intercom is handy for intercomming. Reckon I'll whip out the shit-at-sensing-stuff pads though.
Turns out it did me a favour this time because kiddo had shaken off a scratch mitt and found the back of her neck. She likes to rub there, or the top of her arm. She does it so much that she can break the skin though, shit's messy. Popped the mitt back on and marvelled at her for a bit before glaring at the monitor and getting back in bed. Fucking monitor.
