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BritGAF |OT5| Superb Birds, Absurd Turds and Disturbed Nerds

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How do you figure?
I don't need some fancypants barman flailing about like a dickwad before he serves me a cocktail.

I'd rather live in world with flailing fancypants dickwads than the grey, oppressive, uniform existence you dream of Mike "I stamp on kittens"side. I know you hate freedom even more than you hate the sound of children's laughter. In your perfect world fun is outlawed and people have numbers for names. Every day they march solemnly to the factories to stick CD cases together for terrible indie rock bands with awful names.

No Mike, I'd rather have someone wiggle around when they make me a cocktail, SORRY!
 

BGBW

Maturity, bitches.
Back on topic though, I'd like for Nintendo to win me over again, but I think I've just grown out of their consoles. That might be sacrilege but it's also the truth. I'd rather spend time with something more visceral or something which will make me think / inspire me. I still love the Toads though. Ultra ultra cute.

Maybe you should get Captain Toad then since it stars a Toad and it's a puzzle game. ;)

Snoop is good for Smoke Weed Everyday remixes.
 

NinjaBoiX

Member
How do you figure?
I don't need some fancypants barman flailing about like a dickwad before he serves me a cocktail.
Don't get me wrong Mike, I agree that it's kind of pointless and doesn't make your drink any better. I'm just surprised you've literally never seen it ever.

Don't go into Kosmonaut.

We won't go to Kosmonaut.
Tips in the UK? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You know the pourer they use for their liquids. Sometimes they like to flick it up a lot and as a result liquid flies, like say on to my shirt. Also for all the theatrics, most times I've been at a cocktail bar and observed people, most don't even pay attention. So it's a show with no audience. How tragic.
Hey man, I get alright tips and I don't even have big tits or anything!

Eilidh told us a good trick on training night to get punters to double up on mixers, you use your fingers to measure in the air small and big respectively when asking "is that a single or a double?" No man wants to admit to being a teeny tiny single innit. It works really well even as a bloke, but especially as a pretty girl serving a horny drunk dude.

Also, if liquid is flying out of his pourer the bar back is fitting the wrong sizes. Not all bottles have the same width opening obviously, you need to use the right one.
 

SteveWD40

Member
I think (as someone who can't hog the TV all night) the WiiU is one of the most innovative pieces of hardware in years.

It's just a shame it was Nintendo who made it.

Poor 3rd party support, terrible on-line infrastructure, shady "locked to your console" DD platforms...

I grew up with Nintendo, I will always have rose tinted goggles for the NES / SNES era.
 

BGBW

Maturity, bitches.
If I worked in a tip based establishment I'd personally ask customers not to give me or anyone else tips for the good of the nation even if it means I'm turning down free money.
 

Reknoc

Member
I've got 3 different Dragon Quest games I'm playing. Who even needs consoles.

RIP son of d, clearly banned for potentially ignoring tashbrooke
 

NinjaBoiX

Member
I've had a quick look at his post history, nothing sticks out. I didn't expect so to be fair, he's always such a polite, well mannered poster.

We'll ask in what'sapp I guess, maybe he requested it.

I like him, really nice guy, I hope he comes back.
 
Well he was just a bonus, the whole festival was worth it, fuckin ace

He was doing a gig just down the road from me for £55 a ticket..


Boardmasters cost £45 for the day and I got to see many acts and just have some wicked adventures down in Newquay as well

Oh right, which festival? That's fine then, he was at Parklife festival in Manchester which would've been good to go to if had money, I would've seen him there.

I'd pay to see Kanye perform but Snoop? Pffft no. Had a friend who went to his last Glasgow show and he told me that Snoop barely did anything on stage. The guy is done.

You'd pay to see Kanye now? I didn't like his last album, Watch The Throne or Cruel Summer, and I see too many reports of him doing 20 minutes long rants for me to even consider paying £50/60 for that shit. Kanye's music died after MBDTF as far as I'm concerned.

Calm down. I could be wasting my money on worse things...like
an Xbox One

Touche.
 

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
TODAY LAST YEAR IN BRITGAF

Afoni said:
A friend of mine once told me that he reckoned I'm the type of guy to employ wordplay instead of foreplay.

I'm single
lol
CyanideStrike said:
I have the day off as I'm feeling shit, urgh.
Surpise!
Jedeye Sniv said:
Good morning your beautiful cocksuckers! Got the results in today, no nasty surprises, thank fuck! I actually teared up I was so happy.

I'm not fired, wooooo!

Smashing.

MC Shawty said:
I'm usually homeboys with the same peeps I'm postin' wit
But this is Britgaf and these nutters should know what time it is
And that goes for Kentpaul, SmokyDave, f0rk
Musha S, Mikeside, NinjaBoi, 'lond
JedEye, BGBW, jimbor, donkey_show
I got love for you all but I'm tryna murder you gaffers
Tryna make sure chinner never heard of you suckas
He dont wanna hear not one more noun or verb from you fuckas


Didn't mean it like that. Just a rare appearance from you in the topic these days. Although knowing me I probably did walk past you again recently without realising.
lol

aww yur banned :C

I miss Timmy Rashbrooke.

Stay with us.

EDIT: Son of D banned? That's some bullshit.
My phone is broken bro, chill

I'll have a new one in a few weeks
 
Oh dear, looks like Cliff Richard has done a Jimmy Saville now too.

It's getting to the point where you may as well start putting money on who will be next in the spotlight.

My bet is on Jeremy Clarkson. I can imagine it now. Evidence brought against him would include secret recordings of him boasting that "that thirteen year old had the tightest pussy
in the wooorld."
 

SKINNER!

Banned
You'd pay to see Kanye now? I didn't like his last album, Watch The Throne or Cruel Summer, and I see too many reports of him doing 20 minutes long rants for me to even consider paying £50/60 for that shit. Kanye's music died after MBDTF as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah I didn't like Yeezus or Cruel Summer either and ideally I'd love to have seen him live during the College Dropout era but I notice that he puts a lot of effort into putting on a show by designing the set, costumes, interesting ideas into a gig etc and so long as he performs songs from his other albums and keeps the ranting to a minumum (He probably won't) then I can tolerate it. Thing is, I doubt he'll come all the way up to Scotland anyway. Last time he was here was around 2008 I believe and I don't see myself going through the trouble of travelling just to see him so yeah... tl;dr I would go and pay to see him but I won't take a bullet for the guy.
 

sploatee

formerly Oynox Slider
DO YOU PEOPLE NOT READ

Oh dear, looks like Cliff Richard has done a Jimmy Saville now too.

YES WE KNOW IF YOU'D READ UPWARDS YOU WOULD'VE SEEN THE DISCUSSION

awwww you!
moving saturday hurrah!

my mother is going to be distraught if anything happens regarding sir cliff, haha. she loves the little rockin' blighter.

THAT'S IT I HATE YOU TOO YOU EXCLUSIONARY MANC BASTARDS I'M MOVING MY LOYALTY TO LONDON PEOPLE AS THEY ARE MUCH NICER
 
IIq5OCB.gif


Sploatee please

That was like, three hours ago, your discussion initiation skills weren't dynamic enough to sustain interest and compete with arresting topics like Nintendo, Son of D and Snoop Dogg.

If anyone has a right to be angsty it's me, my tasteless Jeremy Clarkson joke has been ignored completely.
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
I like Top Gear as much as the next guy but Clarkson himself is insufferable, he hardly needs pedophile added to the list of things that make him an ugly person.
 

The_Poet

Banned
What? its just a gif in image tags. I'm confused

EDIT: alright I see it now. It worked for me for a bit. I just copied it from google images.

SORRY EVERYONE

SORRY

OK
 
Why do cocktail shaker makers feel the need to do a weird ritual dance when making one? I'd rather they took their time and measured things out properly without the need to splash everything everywhere. No need to do a step ball change with a 180 degree turn just to open a fridge door.

Cocktails are so expensive I expect a dance
 
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