It really is. I laughed about it an hour later. She's not having it though. She's more concerned with how I said what I said, that I implied that she was so selfish. Yet she clearly thinks it's ok to speak to me however she wants.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
It really is. I laughed about it an hour later. She's not having it though. She's more concerned with how I said what I said, that I implied that she was so selfish. Yet she clearly thinks it's ok to speak to me however she wants.
I made the mistake of talking to my ex. Hasn't gone too well, already talking about money/family/work/friend problems and we only hung out for a couple of hours before I had to leave her place, because her "depressed friend" was going to come over as he was having an episode. Texted her a couple times that night and didn't get a single response all day.
Need to figure out how to get out again. Thought it was a good time to be friends again but nope, I'm still too hurt after what she did and she still thinks she did nothing wrong.
Need to figure out how to get out again. Thought it was a good time to be friends again but nope, I'm still too hurt after what she did and she still thinks she did nothing wrong.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Classic deflection move, blame the other person. Get rid.
After dealing with one flaky Tinder match a couple of weeks ago, I just had my first Tinder date ever. We just chatted over a couple of beers for 3 hours straight, no awkward silence or anything. I had a great time and I'm pretty sure she did too.
I walked her back to her car by the end and asked if she'd be willing to go out again soon just before leaving. She said yes, tough she'd have to check her work schedule, but she then asked me to come closer and we kissed. Felt awesome.
I'm surprised by how smoothly all this went considering this was my first date since my last and first relationship ended (we broke up almost a year and a half ago). I was a freaking anxious mess the whole day, but it all wore off when I got there. I don't know where this thing will go (she's moving out of town in 2 weeks), but I at least feel like I got some of my game back and I just want to enjoy this as much as possible.
Hey guys, quick update on this situation. We've been on 2 other dates since, both went really well. The 2nd date was last week, we went snowboarding and then followed that with drinks in a bar. We ended up spending almost 6 hours straight together and the night ended pretty much like the last time, by kissing and making out in the parking lot as we were about to leave. Got a text right after I got home telling me how she wished we had spent the night together, but because she had to work the next day preferred not to...
Anyway, we went on another date on Tuesday (miniputt + drinks) and again spent several hours together. Things went really well and we had some really interesting and honest discussions. We left the pub at 1am, went back to her place and spent the night together this time.
So now she's leaving town for good today (2 hours away from were I live), but we're still keeping in touch. She sure does seem to like me, as she's constantly messaging me on Messenger, and I'm definitely interested in her as well. However, I'll have to figure how I approach this in the coming weeks... Things have been really easy and simple so far, but the distance might be an issue now...
I had a girl I loved tell me that City of Angels with Nicholas Cage was her favorite movie. I was open minded and then watched that shit unfold like a horribly contrived mess with creepy stalker angel Cage.
I was both bored at times and entranced by how awful it was.
I think it seriously lessened my opinion of her.
LucidMomentum
Member
From my experience, if two people really dig each other and there's a time when it won't be Long Distance anymore, LDR can work out pretty okay. Helps people learn how to be themselves outside of the relationship by forcing some space.
When there's no guarantee of the distance closing, it can be rough. Real rough.
Lmao.
Whenever I'm asked about favorite anything I tell people I really like media and you'd have to like narrow it down to a genre and possibly time frame (I.E. This year, all time, etc.) to get a better answer from me.
Reminds me of the time I dated a girl who didn't like listening to reviews because she had her own opinion. Boy did she pick some shit movies.
TangerineCloud
Banned
I'm struggling to figure out how to approach dating again after the end of a long-term relationship. Would very much appreciate some input from you guys. I'm so confused. TL;DR at the end.
My (very first) girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me just about a month ago. Thinking I would be okay, I jumped back into OkCupid and Tinder after about a week of surprisingly little grieving. Conversation with one woman was flowing pretty well, and we scheduled a date for this upcoming Saturday (I posted about this woman a recently, as you may remember; the drunk text one). Unfortunately, she's been dealing with a lot of personal struggles and decided to take herself out of the dating game a few days ago. She respectfully canceled our date (which would have been my first ever "proper" date), told me it wasn't because of me or anything I did, and deleted her OkCupid profile.
However, this still fucked me up waaay more than it should have. I realized I that I was pinning my desire for another long-term relationship on this one woman and this one date with the hopes that I'd be able to quickly regain what I lost when my relationship ended. Thankfully I never treated her like a replacement for my long-term girlfriend, but the more we texted, the more I began to think of her as such.
[Cue the anguish over my relationship that I had been bottling up]
I've since met up with my ex-girlfriend and received closure (among other things). We both want to stay friends and are open to maybe even dating again in the future, but we're cutting off contact with each other for at least another month. I told myself I wouldn't try to date for a while in order to avoid getting overly attached to another woman so soon, but I'm finding that the temptation to "wait" for my ex-girlfriend to want to be in a relationship with me again is very fucking strong, and I know it's not healthy or realistic. On top of that, I'm finding that the only thing that alleviates the pain and the temptation of waiting... is the thought of pursuing other women.
Due to certain aspects of my background and personality, I honestly don't think the idea of just not pursuing anyone for a while is healthy or feasible anymore. However, I know that I have a tendency to latch on to women I perceive as being "right for me", which will likely be exacerbated now that I'm fresh out of a relationship. Are there any other shy, lonely boys out there who can offer some advice on getting out of this mindset when it comes to dating?
TL;DR: FUCK, I'M SHY AND ANXIOUS AND JUST GOT DUMPED A MONTH AGO. HOW DO I STOP MYSELF FROM THINKING ANY WOMAN I LIKE AND HAVE A CHANCE WITH IS *~"THE ONE"~*
My (very first) girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me just about a month ago. Thinking I would be okay, I jumped back into OkCupid and Tinder after about a week of surprisingly little grieving. Conversation with one woman was flowing pretty well, and we scheduled a date for this upcoming Saturday (I posted about this woman a recently, as you may remember; the drunk text one). Unfortunately, she's been dealing with a lot of personal struggles and decided to take herself out of the dating game a few days ago. She respectfully canceled our date (which would have been my first ever "proper" date), told me it wasn't because of me or anything I did, and deleted her OkCupid profile.
However, this still fucked me up waaay more than it should have. I realized I that I was pinning my desire for another long-term relationship on this one woman and this one date with the hopes that I'd be able to quickly regain what I lost when my relationship ended. Thankfully I never treated her like a replacement for my long-term girlfriend, but the more we texted, the more I began to think of her as such.
[Cue the anguish over my relationship that I had been bottling up]
I've since met up with my ex-girlfriend and received closure (among other things). We both want to stay friends and are open to maybe even dating again in the future, but we're cutting off contact with each other for at least another month. I told myself I wouldn't try to date for a while in order to avoid getting overly attached to another woman so soon, but I'm finding that the temptation to "wait" for my ex-girlfriend to want to be in a relationship with me again is very fucking strong, and I know it's not healthy or realistic. On top of that, I'm finding that the only thing that alleviates the pain and the temptation of waiting... is the thought of pursuing other women.
Due to certain aspects of my background and personality, I honestly don't think the idea of just not pursuing anyone for a while is healthy or feasible anymore. However, I know that I have a tendency to latch on to women I perceive as being "right for me", which will likely be exacerbated now that I'm fresh out of a relationship. Are there any other shy, lonely boys out there who can offer some advice on getting out of this mindset when it comes to dating?
TL;DR: FUCK, I'M SHY AND ANXIOUS AND JUST GOT DUMPED A MONTH AGO. HOW DO I STOP MYSELF FROM THINKING ANY WOMAN I LIKE AND HAVE A CHANCE WITH IS *~"THE ONE"~*
Why? Being single should not be considered unhealthy or unfeasible.
TangerineCloud
Banned
I've wrestled with some pretty devastating social anxiety in the past, and while things have gotten a lot better, I still have a tendency to close myself off and fall back heavily on intense solitude and apathy as defense mechanisms, especially when it comes to romance.
I don't think being single is unhealthy or unfeasible; I just think that putting myself out there is important for my mental health. I'd like to get to a point where I can be single and date people without jumping into the relationship mindset too quickly. This was an issue for me before ever actually getting into a relationship, so it's something I feel I need to continue to face head-on while I'm re-establishing my habits and identity as a single dude.
LucidMomentum
Member
Try meetups and such instead of being co-dependent on a significant other. Once you're more accustomed to social settings and the like then you can look into dating.
I know it sounds cliché, but work on yourself first mate. Don't expect someone else to fix you for you.
You should not be turning to romantic partners as the sole barrier between you and crippling solitude. It places a lot of strain on your eventual partner and puts you in the position you're in now - desperate.
As Lucid suggested, go to a few Meetups in your area. Make friends, especially with the gender you want to date. Try to be happy, even without a partner.
I love City Of Angels. One of my favorite movies!
Oh geez you two
I watch so few movies that instead of people forming opinions of my movie tastes, they just spend the whole time going "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ___?!"
Block her, done. Yay!
No need to worry about her feelings in that scenario.
Are you speaking to a therapist about this behavior? Seems sort of severe...
Also, at this point it really seems like you should be trying to get into activities and finding groups of friends and acquaintances, as opposed to a partner. Placing all that pressure on them by them being your only interaction is not healthy, either.
Like the others said, go to some group meetups, find something like you like to do, make some friends.
Spaced Harrier
Member
there is a 99% chance they did not respond because of this.
Fuck! Screw it, I haven't had this profile that long and haven't messaged that many girls. I'm gonna send a quick, polite message out clarifying.
TangerineCloud
Banned
Sigh. I knew I was gonna explain the anxiety thing poorly and give y'all the wrong idea about it.
Okay, my social life is admittedly not fantastic. I need more friends and more social interaction in general. Like I said, I've made a lot of progress there, but there's still a lot of work to do, for sure. However, I'm NOT looking for a partner to fill in those gaps or validate me as a person. There was certainly a small degree of mutual codependency in my relationship, but I always made sure that I remained a distinct person with my own thoughts, opinions, and desires and could handle distance and conflict between myself and my partner. Exploring my own interests and continuing to grow and progress as an individual were (are) always high priorities for me. Trust me; I stay on the self-improvement.
Now to clarify this:
I don't mean that this is my default state. It hasn't been for a long time. But, based on past experience, I do tend to gravitate toward this behavior if I'm trying to force myself to cope with painful levels of loneliness or isolation (what I'm feeling now). I've spent a loooong time being single without pursuing anyone because I didn't want to get close to people only to be hurt by them. It took me a looong time to get out of that mindset. Going back to that would be regression. Because of that, I want to keep dating and putting myself out there. Not with the goal of finding a relationship, but with the goal of just being more social, getting better at dating, getting better at meeting and talking to people, and learning how to view dating as a normal, enjoyable part of life and not just as a requisite step into a relationship. If I happen to get into a relationship, then cool, great, but that's not what I'm aiming for.
I just want to become more comfortable with being single and dating for the sake of dating.
(That said, I'm gonna take all the advice about attending meet-ups to heart. I have a handful of people I hang out with and talk to on an individual basis, but I have been wanting to expand my circle for a while)
And, yes, I'm seeing a therapist. lmao
ZackieChan
Member
That song tho
YesManKablaam
Neo Member
A question I'd like to ask to people here:
For those of you that have broken up from a serious relationship (or rather, were dumped), how long did it take before you felt comfortable or able to date again without thinking of your ex?
Context: It was a rocky relationship, already made difficult by my struggles with depression but also a boatload of unwanted outside circumstances putting a lot of stress on the relationship. We agreed to go on a break (well, more her idea that I agreed to) as we were at the time long-distance, and we came to different conclusions; I felt happier with her in my life, she preferred not having me. It officially came to a head in September but really speaking it was over months beforehand, and she completely froze me out, which I still struggle with.
The problem I'm facing is that I'm still not getting over it. Not in a 'I don't want to date', more of a 'I can't date'. Every now and then I try and give it a go and I get overwhelmed by emotion; I simply don't know how to sever that tie. A problem with illness was that I withdrew myself and stopped telling her that I loved her, so I don't actually hold much blame for her wanting to end it, but as I began to recover I was able tor ealise just how much I cared about her and love her. And now I can't let go of that.
I did sleep with one person after the breakup, and I regretted it immediately. To me I felt like I was cheating, even though we weren't in contact. And I still feel like that; every time I try my hand at dating or meet new people, I get this rush of guilt and horror. I genuinely don't find people that attractive anymore, as emotionally I'm totally invested in her. I know that it will fade in time, but I'm up to seven months now of feeling weighed down by this on a daily basis. It really fucking sucks and has had some major negative impact on my life.
How do you stop loving someone, when they're already not a part of your life anymore?
For those of you that have broken up from a serious relationship (or rather, were dumped), how long did it take before you felt comfortable or able to date again without thinking of your ex?
Context: It was a rocky relationship, already made difficult by my struggles with depression but also a boatload of unwanted outside circumstances putting a lot of stress on the relationship. We agreed to go on a break (well, more her idea that I agreed to) as we were at the time long-distance, and we came to different conclusions; I felt happier with her in my life, she preferred not having me. It officially came to a head in September but really speaking it was over months beforehand, and she completely froze me out, which I still struggle with.
The problem I'm facing is that I'm still not getting over it. Not in a 'I don't want to date', more of a 'I can't date'. Every now and then I try and give it a go and I get overwhelmed by emotion; I simply don't know how to sever that tie. A problem with illness was that I withdrew myself and stopped telling her that I loved her, so I don't actually hold much blame for her wanting to end it, but as I began to recover I was able tor ealise just how much I cared about her and love her. And now I can't let go of that.
I did sleep with one person after the breakup, and I regretted it immediately. To me I felt like I was cheating, even though we weren't in contact. And I still feel like that; every time I try my hand at dating or meet new people, I get this rush of guilt and horror. I genuinely don't find people that attractive anymore, as emotionally I'm totally invested in her. I know that it will fade in time, but I'm up to seven months now of feeling weighed down by this on a daily basis. It really fucking sucks and has had some major negative impact on my life.
How do you stop loving someone, when they're already not a part of your life anymore?
TVexperto
Member
Took me really long, I was over her whenI found the next girl I really fell in love with...so for me it took 5 years
YesManKablaam
Neo Member
Haha, that's what I fear. I still carry it in my heart like she's still with me, which doesn't budge no matter what I try doing. I'm *kinda* alright with it, as I've reached a point where I can at least function day-to-day and have got some plans for the future. It's not he future I wanted though, but I can't control her nor would I want to.
Clearly im clueless when it comes to dating or reading signs.
So I matched with a girl on Bumble a few weeks back and we started texting back and forth before finally I asked her out for drinks and she accepted. We went out for drinks over the weekend and it seemed to have gone very well. It seemed to me atleast like we instantly clicked.
I followed up a day later saying I had a great time and would like to see her again this weekend and she said the same and accepted. We made plans and everything was set for this weekend. Now throughout the week I tried to text her a few times but she never responded to anything and I thought maybe I read things wrong and she really wasnt interested and was just being nice before.
Fast forward to today and I figured I would see if she was still interested in what we originally planned last weekend after hanging out and sent her a text asking if we were still on for this weekend. She said we "definitely" were still on for this weekend but said that she was thinking of doing something else than we originally planned. I said this wasnt a problem and asked what did she have in mind but then she said she wasn't exactly sure and was still thinking of a few things but reassured me she wasnt going to bail.
So right now I am confused as to whats going on in this situation. To me it sounds like she isnt interested and will probably bail. But, what has me puzzled is in that case why even answer after no response for a week. She could have easily not responded and ghosted me which is what it seemed like.
Instead she said we were still on and even suggested we do something else but then go on to not say what exactly that is. She even mentioned that it sounds "vague" but reassured me she wouldnt bail.
So to me this sounds like a lot of work to get rid of someone. Any help with what could be going on?
So I matched with a girl on Bumble a few weeks back and we started texting back and forth before finally I asked her out for drinks and she accepted. We went out for drinks over the weekend and it seemed to have gone very well. It seemed to me atleast like we instantly clicked.
I followed up a day later saying I had a great time and would like to see her again this weekend and she said the same and accepted. We made plans and everything was set for this weekend. Now throughout the week I tried to text her a few times but she never responded to anything and I thought maybe I read things wrong and she really wasnt interested and was just being nice before.
Fast forward to today and I figured I would see if she was still interested in what we originally planned last weekend after hanging out and sent her a text asking if we were still on for this weekend. She said we "definitely" were still on for this weekend but said that she was thinking of doing something else than we originally planned. I said this wasnt a problem and asked what did she have in mind but then she said she wasn't exactly sure and was still thinking of a few things but reassured me she wasnt going to bail.
So right now I am confused as to whats going on in this situation. To me it sounds like she isnt interested and will probably bail. But, what has me puzzled is in that case why even answer after no response for a week. She could have easily not responded and ghosted me which is what it seemed like.
Instead she said we were still on and even suggested we do something else but then go on to not say what exactly that is. She even mentioned that it sounds "vague" but reassured me she wouldnt bail.
So to me this sounds like a lot of work to get rid of someone. Any help with what could be going on?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say. But nothing comes out when they move their lips. Just a bunch of gibberish.
She forgot about dre 😢
The ball's in her court, but there is a shot clock counting down.
Keep swiping and meeting girls and make plans with someone that definitely wants to see you.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
It's always funny to see how embarrassed people get when admitting they met their partner via some dating website or app
Twice in the last week I asked someone how they met the other, both lied about meeting through mutual friends. Little did they know their partner had told me the truth about them meeting online. Just wanted to see what they'd say. First instance the guy lied, second instance the girl lied
Twice in the last week I asked someone how they met the other, both lied about meeting through mutual friends. Little did they know their partner had told me the truth about them meeting online. Just wanted to see what they'd say. First instance the guy lied, second instance the girl lied
SweetDonuts
Member
I met someone recently and we got on really really well, it felt like our 5th date and not our first, we've been out twice since which has been fun....but they've accepted a job offer abroad. They still want to keep in touch etc and said they'll be back one day. They also asked me out tonight as it was their last night, but I refused and told them why.
Just ranting but it seems I'm getting every sign from the universe not to date at the moment and focus on myself lol (which I may ignore Idk)
Just ranting but it seems I'm getting every sign from the universe not to date at the moment and focus on myself lol (which I may ignore Idk)
Bumble girl is into anime and has 2 dogs and gave me her phone number without me asking for it. Probably ask her out either for Sunday or later next week.
Super busy though, being in my last year of engineering. I'm at school all the time, and I know its a bad time to go on dates but whatever. Girl's cute and seems nice.
(I really just want to play with the dogs)
Super busy though, being in my last year of engineering. I'm at school all the time, and I know its a bad time to go on dates but whatever. Girl's cute and seems nice.
(I really just want to play with the dogs)
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I wouldn't read much into that, it's standard affair to offer the number to the guy
In real life, yeah, but on online dating stuff, not so much. At least I don't think so, in my cases it was asked for (either person) first.
ZackieChan
Member
I don't get it. She hasn't even broken your date yet, so why are you freaking out. At least wait until you've wasted $6 on parking to flip out about this.
But in the meantime, keep swiping and matching and chatting and all that. Never stop until you're going steady.
electricshake
Member
I usually offered mine, along with a 'if you want to go for a drink, give me a text'.
kopitarrulez_11
Member
So got a weird question a girl I added accepted my request but now something weird happened when you go to the search it still says the request sent icon not the messenger icon but we are friends and the messages I've sent just say delivered so something weird is going on anybody have a clue
ZackieChan
Member
Did your period/comma button break, too? Something's amiss!
Mediking
Member
Getting teased by women in relationships alot lately at work. Like one of them talks as if she wants to date me and take my clothes off. And the other attacks me like she's in middle school because it amuses her.
I'm like.... You all have boyfriends and husbands. Whats the deal? Other guys dont even catch this treatment but I get it because I'm different.
Maybe because they suspect that I'm INexperienced or something.
I'm like.... You all have boyfriends and husbands. Whats the deal? Other guys dont even catch this treatment but I get it because I'm different.
Maybe because they suspect that I'm INexperienced or something.
ZackieChan
Member
Probably. They're probably just messing with you because they think you're cute, but don't want to actually do anything. Pay it no mind, and use it as a springboard for your swinging dick confidence.
Do you work in an office? They're bored and you are they're latest talking point.
Don't worry about it, it'll pass, they'll find someone/something new to fuck with... yes, just like middle school.
I literally have no clue what you're talking about, that sentence makes no sense. You didn't even say what app you're talking about.
Grammar, it's important.
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe Zero Punctuation has released a dating app for gamers?
I just went on my first Tinder date with this girl. Everything went fine. Met in a park and walked around for a bit, then went to a small café and talked for a few hours.
In hindsight, though, I think I might have been talking a bit too much (like 60-70% of our conversations). It's not that I am particularly talkative (among my friends, I am definitely not talking the most). I just really dislike awkward silences. Therefore, I often end up talking about anything just to ensure that we don't just sit there and stare at each other. I don't know what else to do. Keeping eye contact for longer periods of time without talking is also difficult for me. Sometimes I just look down at my hands, fidgeting with some object.
What should I do in situations like these? Obviously, asking questions is a good thing, but when a topic has died out and we just sit there and say "sooo ... yeah", I don't what else to do. I find that speaking without a specific context in mind is difficult (if we are speaking about videogames, I can talk for hours, but if are generally just talking about "get to know each other" topics, it's more difficult).
In hindsight, though, I think I might have been talking a bit too much (like 60-70% of our conversations). It's not that I am particularly talkative (among my friends, I am definitely not talking the most). I just really dislike awkward silences. Therefore, I often end up talking about anything just to ensure that we don't just sit there and stare at each other. I don't know what else to do. Keeping eye contact for longer periods of time without talking is also difficult for me. Sometimes I just look down at my hands, fidgeting with some object.
What should I do in situations like these? Obviously, asking questions is a good thing, but when a topic has died out and we just sit there and say "sooo ... yeah", I don't what else to do. I find that speaking without a specific context in mind is difficult (if we are speaking about videogames, I can talk for hours, but if are generally just talking about "get to know each other" topics, it's more difficult).
names2hard4you
Member
Relax. You should just relax. You don't sound like you are having any fun. Dating is supposed to be fun, but you are just worrying too much. I'd say that if the conversation isn't flowing as well as it does with other people like your friends (if you don't have this problem with others that is) then it's probably because the spark isn't there.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Ummm... hmmm... that was very unexpected.
There's this girl here I've been seeing for months. Met her through another guy. Never thought about dating her, because I knew she wouldn't be into me. We only hung out as friends. Well, turns out my recent frustration with girls was due to me not realizing I have feelings for her. When I finally realize what was bothering me, I ended up beating myself up, because I know she wouldn't be into me.
Yeah, I was wrong. Go figure. We both ended up having feelings for each other. She thought I wouldn't be into her either.
So, funny how that works.
That said, our timing is a little shitty because she's also trying to get over her crush on this guy (he's from another country). I told her very honestly that don't go out with me just to use me as a crutch so you can hope that maybe someday this guy will come back for you, and then turn around and dump me. She agrees, and she does need to clear her head on this matter since she's trying to decide on 2 guys in her life. Plus, I know she has a lot on her mind due to stress from work. Fainted and ended up in the hospital. I'm not going to pressure her for an answer. I'll also look around at some other girls to see what they have to offer, but the fact that she says she's into me was the biggest shock for me.
Yeah, I've heard of friends ending up being a couple before. I just didn't think she would be into me at all. Me not realizing I had feelings for this girl was what's bothering me lately. I ended up feeling uncomfortable every time I thought about her. Now all of this is out, and while the outcome isn't perfect, it feels so good to finally know the truth.
There's this girl here I've been seeing for months. Met her through another guy. Never thought about dating her, because I knew she wouldn't be into me. We only hung out as friends. Well, turns out my recent frustration with girls was due to me not realizing I have feelings for her. When I finally realize what was bothering me, I ended up beating myself up, because I know she wouldn't be into me.
Yeah, I was wrong. Go figure. We both ended up having feelings for each other. She thought I wouldn't be into her either.
So, funny how that works.
That said, our timing is a little shitty because she's also trying to get over her crush on this guy (he's from another country). I told her very honestly that don't go out with me just to use me as a crutch so you can hope that maybe someday this guy will come back for you, and then turn around and dump me. She agrees, and she does need to clear her head on this matter since she's trying to decide on 2 guys in her life. Plus, I know she has a lot on her mind due to stress from work. Fainted and ended up in the hospital. I'm not going to pressure her for an answer. I'll also look around at some other girls to see what they have to offer, but the fact that she says she's into me was the biggest shock for me.
Yeah, I've heard of friends ending up being a couple before. I just didn't think she would be into me at all. Me not realizing I had feelings for this girl was what's bothering me lately. I ended up feeling uncomfortable every time I thought about her. Now all of this is out, and while the outcome isn't perfect, it feels so good to finally know the truth.
He's on an app (facebook?) and its "glitches" are preventing him from macking on a girl. She shows up as "request sent" even though she already accepted his friend request, and messages aren't being read, only delivered.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
From my experience that's the norm
kopitarrulez_11
Member
Thank you sir lol sorry guys I was half asleep typing last night hahaha.
And yes facebook
ZackieChan
Member
Facebook, to me as an old guy, seems like the creepiest place to match with potential dates
Reave
Member
With the exception of you no longer saying "I love you," your story freakishly mirrors mine. It's been nearly three years since our relationship ended, and I've gained a ton of insight that I hope can help you expedite your healing faster than mine.
For the longest time, my attempts at moving on felt completely in vain. I was pretty successful with online dating, and had the pleasure of meeting some incredible women, but I couldn't get past the misguided guilt. So much so, that it almost felt as though my ex was sitting right there with me and my dates. What's more, I spent much of my thought-life comparing and contrasting everyone with my ex, and even daydreamed of reconciliations. It was brutal.
As time went on, I eventually came to form two very helpful perspectives after growing so sad and frustrated about what I lost.
The first of which was when I started re-purposing the way I viewed that chapter of my life. I couldn't exactly pull an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and erase every memory and every moment from my brain, but what I could do is look back on that relationship with a sense of gratitude. Although it didn't work out for us, I still learned a great deal of helpful things about myself, women, love, and growth. Those lessons vary depending on the person, of course; but in doing so, that chapter of my life felt less haunting and more valuable to me as a living, learning human being. And eventually, that kept me from repressing or running from my pain.
The second, and arguably most valuable perspective I gained was realizing that I had essentially created a fictitious version of my ex in my head. That version of her was the one that existed back when everything was amazing with us, while the real version of her was the one that checked out and never wanted back in again.
Realizing that helped me see that the person I couldn't get over, the person I missed... well, she didn't exist. She wasn't real. Better yet, I also realized that I actually didn't miss the real version of her at all -- the one that grew cold and abandoned me. I know that the real version of my ex is still a good person at heart, so that wasn't me trying to vilify her like so many other people force themselves to do to get over someone. Far from it. I was simply coming to terms with the fact that the woman I knew and loved was gone.
Thus, I had to essentially break up with the fictitious "perfect" version of my ex. I couldn't love, much less miss someone that wasn't real. And I damn sure couldn't let her undermine my future by taking residence in my heart when I really needed to clear that space for someone better down the line.
To some people, that will all sound like a bunch of crazy talk, and I get that. But I think there's a lot of people out there that will know exactly where I'm coming from.
Point being, you'll never reach a point in life where you'll never think about her. But, don't let that frustrate or discourage you. You see, it's not about how often you think about your ex that counts. It's what you think of when you do think of her that matters most. So, with those two perspectives in mind, I'm able to think about her as an important era of my life that taught me a lot, but belongs in the past because she isn't what I long for anymore. She used to be, but not anymore. Now, I'm able to move on and enjoy my dating life without that obstruction blocking my happiness.
Hope this helps.
- Status