Just got done with my second date of the weekend. Like I expected but hoped wasn't the case, girl was huge. I didn't even really try to hide my disinterest but whatever, girl got herself a free dinner. I almost just left at the start of the date but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I need help figuring out good Valentine's Day gifts :/
I've never dated anyone while it was VD lol.
I've never dated anyone while it was VD lol.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Bruh. Why would you go out with someone without seeing full-body pics? (And that goes for gals as well.)
Also, I got dropped some interesting DC-specific dating culture advice tonight and, turns out, my entire approach has been wrong. No wonder I kept attracting crazy. Will post more after I play some Fire Emblem: Heroes.
Bro, unblock her and tell her straight up. If you like her let her express what shes feeling.
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
Nothing wrong with having preferences (as long as your expectations aren't too high). You like what you like.
How huge are we talking?
EchoChamber
Member
I guess the girl i was dating change her mind or something?
I keep asking her out to a date but she keep giving excuses , they are believable but i guess the bratt pit rule applies here
I keep asking her out to a date but she keep giving excuses , they are believable but i guess the bratt pit rule applies here
Mediking
Member
Wait, what??? Admitting to someone whose in a relationship that you have feelings for them is okay??? Since when? I've liked girls who have boyfriends before but telling that girl(s) how I felt would be disrespectful to the boyfriend.That's asking for a punch in the face.
Throw in the marriage element and things get even more dicey.
always crazy bacon
Banned
If in doubt always ask for full body shots, saves you time and disappointment. Some of us have been deceived like that before.
If in doubt always ask for full body shots, saves you time and disappointment. Some of us have been deceived like that before.
What's a non-rude way of going about that though? I feel like if I was a girl that would offend me.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I guess the girl i was dating change her mind or something?
I keep asking her out to a date but she keep giving excuses , they are believable but i guess the bratt pit rule applies here
Yes, block her and move on, she's probably found someone else. We're you exclusive? Maybe not.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Just ask, politeness and worry about offending them is what wasted you time on that date. If they get offended, A) You probably won't want to date them because they are too easily offended B) They are big and are annoyed they have been called out on the deception so blame you for asking.
Just say "Do you have any pictures that are not selfies or tightly cropped?".
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Girls have asked me that
A friend got laid thanks I wanted to party out and bring him with me. Weird how things happen. And was a really bad idea be get left with the acquaintances from such girl.
Anyway, I need to learn to have confidence in myself. I am starting to improving my look, but I think the thing which is stopping me to want to reach a girl and just talk her is my weight. I don't sleep well, and I know sleep few hours affect my health
Anyway, I need to learn to have confidence in myself. I am starting to improving my look, but I think the thing which is stopping me to want to reach a girl and just talk her is my weight. I don't sleep well, and I know sleep few hours affect my health
Gotdatmoney
Member
The flatout truth is that people with decent bodies will show them in pictures. If there are no full body pics it is normally because the person does not want you to see. There is no nice way to say "can I see a pic that shows all of you" honestly. Which is why imo if you really gotta question all this shit you shouldnt even bother. It's rare you find someone with a "hot" body that has nothing but selfies.
Some people do not mind weight. Some do. Everyone is gonna play the game to their advantage and it's a better strategy to try and win someone over in person than showing full body pics and getting no swipes. So it is easy to get why people do it. I don't blame them.
My suggestion is basically if weight is something that you care about dont bother with people with no full body shots. It will just save you headaches.
Online dating has an aspect of being vain. There is no point in tip toeing around that imo so if something is questionable to you you should address it.
I was at the bar with some friends and was having a discussion about glasses. I wore mine because I wasn't out to approach anyone but if I go out I normally will not wear them. She was saying when she wore hers people wouldnt approach her but when she wore contacts she got way more attention. The basic conclusion we reached was the whole "I want someone to like me for me" idea only actually works if people approach you to begin with. No one is gonna like you for you if no one is gonna talk to you. So yes, sometimes you need to just be vain and get over idealism if you wanna be successful.
EchoChamber
Member
I rarely use Tinder these days but I just had some girl from LA get instantly confrontational as soon as I asked her if she worked in Hollywood, like the second or third message I sent. No bio on her page so figured asking about work was a good icebreaker. Apparently instead it was a "boring turn off" and then she unmatched. Never in the 5 years I've used any dating app has something like that happened. Bizarre.
100 percent of the time, yes.
100 percent of the time, yes.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Good to get the crazies out the way before you spend too much time on them.
Just get her something she'd like? >.>
Of course it has, how do you think men that don't look like Adonis get laid and into relationships?
Gotdatmoney
Member
I mean you really only have 2 options. Either just work with what you got and approach with confidence or make a plan to lose weight (and still you are gonna have to approach with confidence regardless).
So I mean take your pick. But lots of overweight people find someone so if that is what you are worried about it's unfounded.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Yep. Lots of overweight people have partners and date pretty regularly. Confidence is pretty important. I mean, that's the case with the girl I'm seeing currently. I'm still overweight, but we clicked really well in our conversations leading up to the date, and I'd mentioned that I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm still working on losing more. She dug me because she liked my sense of humor and the way I talked and carried myself, so weight/physicality isn't everything.
But that's not the same as not caring for yourself at all. I mean, if you're a slob about it, that can be a turn off. In my specific case, she likes that I'm cuddly, but also that I work out and I'm trying to get fit (fit, not thin or ripped, there's a difference). Looks are one thing for sure, but you can still look good and be overweight. Pay attention to how you dress and carry yourself. But attraction also comes from your other qualities like sense of humor, ambition, being sensitive and a good listener, being bold, etc.
So I'm in a weird situation. Met a girl A on tinder and we decided to hang out on Thursday. Thought she was cool and we had a good time, but I realized then that I didn't want to be in a relationship with her or really even hookup with her. But then she invited me to a show at a local bar on Friday that I sort of wanted to go to anyway, so I accepted. That was a mistake. We had a really good time at the show and at one point got split up which is when I met girl B. Super, super cute. We went to the same college, and she seemed really cool. Then girl A finds us, and I introduce girl A to girl B as my friend. Girl B puts her number in both my phone and Girl A's phone and told me to text her on sat to hangout with her and her friend who were doing something (girl A had to work). I really, really wish I had been there with one of my guy friends because I would have totally hooked up with girl B that night. But then later on I saw her making out with another dude.
Girl A ended up staying at my apartment because she was drunk, but I didn't have sex with her because I didn't really want to to be honest (I'm not that attracted to her). We got breakfast the next day and went our separate ways, and now she's texting me but I've been slowly trying to give her the hint that I'm not interested. I never texted girl B because I had plans yesterday that I had forgot about, but now I sort of want to and don't know if that's weird. I wouldn't know what to say either... Also girl A wants to hangout again this coming week and I need to somehow tell her I don't want to, but she left something at my house that I have to give back.
Girl A ended up staying at my apartment because she was drunk, but I didn't have sex with her because I didn't really want to to be honest (I'm not that attracted to her). We got breakfast the next day and went our separate ways, and now she's texting me but I've been slowly trying to give her the hint that I'm not interested. I never texted girl B because I had plans yesterday that I had forgot about, but now I sort of want to and don't know if that's weird. I wouldn't know what to say either... Also girl A wants to hangout again this coming week and I need to somehow tell her I don't want to, but she left something at my house that I have to give back.
Well first, if you didn't know, leaving things at someone's house or with someone is a classic dating move that necessitates you two meeting at least one more time. Second, you've only seen eachother twice - telling her you're not interested over text is perfectly fine. She's the one that left things at your house, so just text her that she's a great gal but you didn't feel any spark, and that she can come pick up the thing she left at some point. Don't waste both of you guys' time by meeting up just to give her the thing.
Yeah, I thought as much. It's funny because my ex purposefully left something at my house (a sweater that she wanted me to wash) the last time I saw her, which was like two weeks ago and after we had pretty much broken up. I think I'll wait for this girl to ask about hanging out again and I'll bring it up. I'm awkward about these things, and it's not that I wouldn't mind hanging out with her again, but I don't want anything more than friendship.
Probably not massively romantic, but perhaps Jersey Boys?
You guys are right.
It was hard to keep my mind off of her for the 2 weeks I was off of work, but I'm much better now that I'm back again.
She was the most interesting person I've dated and it was refreshing how forward she was with her actions (initially...), but of course there's other girls like her out there.
Although I did fall for her, I'm still not really looking for anything too serious at the moment so playing the field will probably be the healthiest thing to do in my situation. I'm a late bloomer so I certainly have a lot of catching up to do thanks to my lack of experience.
I just wish I wasn't in limbo until I can start dating again...
Hey guys,
should I send a message to a girl that I've never met in real life, but share a few common friends on facebook?
I'm thinking something along these lines, "hey we have a few friends and some interests in common, hope i'm not being too creepy, yadda yadda".
If she replies, then I'll add her.
should I send a message to a girl that I've never met in real life, but share a few common friends on facebook?
I'm thinking something along these lines, "hey we have a few friends and some interests in common, hope i'm not being too creepy, yadda yadda".
If she replies, then I'll add her.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Do it
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Under no circumstances should any message anyone ever sends include the words "hope I'm not being too creepy."
Do not do this. Why not mention to your common friends that you think she's cute and meet in real life?
I'll delete this part.
It's complicated, they are more like 20 or something acquaintances.
I'm trying to get back into the game, been out for almost 5 years.
I live in Brazil, we'll have carnival this month and I wanna meet some new people before.
ZackieChan
Member
Had a lunch date with a woman who is actually smart and is doing interesting things with her career. Had a lot to talk about and a number of common interests. What a change from my normal routine 😊
Not super attracted to her, so maybe it's more of a friend thing, but I really need to find more women to date that are more accomplished and have more going on with their lives.
Not super attracted to her, so maybe it's more of a friend thing, but I really need to find more women to date that are more accomplished and have more going on with their lives.
EchoChamber
Member
First add her, and absolutely not say the creep part hahaha
Messofanego
Banned
Off topic but is this jokab who changed his/her username to Piece Of Shit? lmao
Ah... hm. I feel sorry for you if you only date dumb women >.>
Messofanego
Banned
Is this why you haven't settled?
Can't speak for him entirely but I'd say it's not dumb women, we both tend to date girls that haven't moved into full blown grown up shit like careers and interesting hobbies and traveling and shit me and Zackie are kind of into and appreciate. At least for me i tend to date college aged girls because out here, once they start getting into mid 20s their families and society at large begins to pressure them into marriage, and you can imagine the amount of problems that will come up when dating a girl that is singularly focused on marriage (even if it's not what she wants).
The two long term relationships I've had since I've lived out here were older girls (mid 20s, career oriented) but able to have fun and shirk the pressure of their families and culture for the most part. My first girlfriend lasted half a year with me before her family started giving her all kinds of shit about dating a foreigner , "playing around", not making a grandkid for them... that's when it all fell apart for us. Usually when I date a girl that's in her mid 20s marriage and pressure and kids and salary pops up around 10 minutes into the conversation. My second long term girl lasted about a year and we had other issues, family pressures never really came up and for the most part the relationship worked. Still on the hunt for something similar again.
In a lot of ways it's just easier to find a girl for a month or two that is 20 and just wants to have fun, she's in college! Doesn't mean she's dumb at all, usually they are pretty smart actually. They study their whole lives lol.
Me and ZC are in different countries but I imagine there are some similarities in the cultures and the women.
You and me both.
But the 20 year olds sure are fun
ZackieChan
Member
I have dated a few, and the women I date aren't "dumb," (I don't believe I said that). Just lacking the depth of conversation that is really satisfying, I guess.
Perhaps. I think I'm just not ready for it (I was close twice in my life). Starting to think it's the thing to do, though. God help me.
Don't lump me in with you, you creepy mother fucker
But you're right - I don't need to be hearing about all that marriage nonsense. I'm too young and cool
Well, I just had a fantastic third date. I told her that I strong feelings for her and was ready to make it official but she said she wasn't ready and wanted move slow. I accepted her answer and we eventually resumed the date filled with laughs, teasing and cuddling while watching 3/4 of the SuperBowl. Despite not receiving the answer I was hoping for, just having a fun night teaching her about football was brilliant.
You don't think the third date was a little early for that?
I had success in the past around the third date mark and I consulted multiple friends (male & female) and they said it was okay time to do so. We're both in our early thirties if that means anything.
ZackieChan
Member
Valkerionseven
Member
Guys I need advice on either getting out of a situation or how to get to the next step... I dunno what I want to do anymore with this woman.
I'm not in a relationship with this lady friend but she is always on me if there is an event she also attends/randomly run into each other. So this weekend I thought I could be free and easy but nope there she is. Anyway the night is going fine, I barely talk to her and when the event moves to the second party at a friends club the usual thing happens. For some reason she begins to follow me, put her hand on my shoulder, hold my arm, hand ect. At one point when we were sitting at a small table drinking she comes up, and a friend who is ahem... a "horn dog?" scoots over and tells her she can sit there with him (normal stool/chair thing meant for one person, he has not met her yet and was doing his damndest to find sex... as was everyone that night... and doing amazingly well for some reason haha) Anyway she says "no no" and continues to stand next to us, then she slightly says "If I want to sit I have a place" while looking at me, meaning my lap from another time where she was super drunk and basically demanded to do so lol. At some point I go to get a drink and while waiting I sit down, purposely at a spot with like 4 empty seats and she just climbs on -eyeroll-
Night continues on, a good bit of people starts bailing earlier than usual (around 2am) cause of said weirdly good atmosphere for finding a partner. We go home and nothing proceeds to happen as usual. We've made out, kissed, and more but no sex, no official relationship and so on.
I really want to just ask why she keeps doing this, why I keep letting her and so on but don't want to come off as mean about it. Just mentally frustrated every few weekends where this happens. Everyone else keeps asking and assuming were together but were not.
@.@
I'm not in a relationship with this lady friend but she is always on me if there is an event she also attends/randomly run into each other. So this weekend I thought I could be free and easy but nope there she is. Anyway the night is going fine, I barely talk to her and when the event moves to the second party at a friends club the usual thing happens. For some reason she begins to follow me, put her hand on my shoulder, hold my arm, hand ect. At one point when we were sitting at a small table drinking she comes up, and a friend who is ahem... a "horn dog?" scoots over and tells her she can sit there with him (normal stool/chair thing meant for one person, he has not met her yet and was doing his damndest to find sex... as was everyone that night... and doing amazingly well for some reason haha) Anyway she says "no no" and continues to stand next to us, then she slightly says "If I want to sit I have a place" while looking at me, meaning my lap from another time where she was super drunk and basically demanded to do so lol. At some point I go to get a drink and while waiting I sit down, purposely at a spot with like 4 empty seats and she just climbs on -eyeroll-
Night continues on, a good bit of people starts bailing earlier than usual (around 2am) cause of said weirdly good atmosphere for finding a partner. We go home and nothing proceeds to happen as usual. We've made out, kissed, and more but no sex, no official relationship and so on.
I really want to just ask why she keeps doing this, why I keep letting her and so on but don't want to come off as mean about it. Just mentally frustrated every few weekends where this happens. Everyone else keeps asking and assuming were together but were not.
@.@
ZackieChan
Member
You went home with her?
Valkerionseven
Member
Yeah she stays over sometimes. After I asked her out for drinks the first time one of the topics of conversation was boyfriend/girlfriend. She said no and does not want one (this was about 3-4 months ago now?) But at the same night I told her I asked her to come because I was interested in her. Left it at that, she asks to spend the night, nothing happens and since then I let her stay over if she needs to (maybe about 4-5 times now) Since then she has gotten more physical but I don't know what I feel about it.
I'm kinda over her and want to move on, other part of me wants to see if this could be anything.
Shit even my best friend told me last night "I could do better" which blew my mind a bit lol. I get the feeling my friends want me to move on, and I kinda am getting an idea of who they want me to move too...
Just too lethargic about being with anyone at the moment lol. Weird middle ground of wanting someone but also just wanting to sit here and feel normal for a while haha.
It didn't. I am gonna continue doing my thing and stay the course. I feel a sense of calm and happiness. The way the date recovered after stumbling awkwardly when I sprang that was amazing. Football may not be her thing but I was still entertaining to her and we shared plenty of laughs. I obviously won't bring it back up again but I guess, I should continue looking just in case things don't materialize as I hoped? (I kinda just stopped checking dating apps after falling pretty hard for her)
artsi
Member
We haven't seen with gf for a week, she wanted some time to think things over and we agreed that I'll go to her place tomorrow to talk, I'm afraid it'll be the last one.
I've pretty much accepted that it's over, and gone over the grief already in advance during the last two weeks.
Despite her saying she wants to try she hasn't done anything but complain how she's anxious. I would do anything on my end to fix things, but I can't do it alone.
I've pretty much accepted that it's over, and gone over the grief already in advance during the last two weeks.
Despite her saying she wants to try she hasn't done anything but complain how she's anxious. I would do anything on my end to fix things, but I can't do it alone.
always crazy bacon
Banned
In life many people use the word "Try" in order to feel like they are making an effort, but doing nothing proactive.
"I'm trying to give up smoking" "I'm trying to lose weight" etc. But they are actually doing nothing to reach these goals.
It wasn't voluntary, Evilore changed it because I disagreed with him.
ZackieChan
Member
Link pls. PM if you must.
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=228803700&postcount=1732
I mean I realize now that the quote I referenced is not fully applicable to the event, but I still stand by my central point. Feel free to make fun of the nick and the change, I don't care that much lol
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yeah, you care, you replied quick enough.
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