• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jetman

Member
always crazy bacon said:
My god, you lack awareness. You so obviously like her and are trying the good friend back door gambit should she ever break up with her fiancee. You would NEVER even consider this if you had a girlfriend.
Click to expand...

Hahaha, dude, there's no 'good friend backdoor gambit' when you're friend zoned. That's the only way the fiancée would even allow us to be friends, I'm sure.
Totally okay with it, but that's why I asked here so I could maintain the friendship and not screw shit up.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Ultramantaro1 said:
Like I said, I am absolutely overthinking this.
Click to expand...

Think of it this way.

You got the W, why are you looking for an L?

Jetman said:
Hahaha, dude, there's no 'good friend backdoor gambit' when you're friend zoned. That's the only way the fiancée would even allow us to be friends, I'm sure. Totally okay with it, but that's why I asked here so I could maintain the friendship and not screw shit up.
Click to expand...

I've seen and read enough stories to know this has never stopped people from trying (and failing)

Any how now you know. Don't do romantic gestures for people who you aren't romantic with. Yes a HEART shaped pizza on VALENTINES DAY is a romantic gesture (the caps are for emphasis)
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Jetman said:
Hahaha, dude, there's no 'good friend backdoor gambit' when you're friend zoned. That's the only way the fiancée would even allow us to be friends, I'm sure.
Totally okay with it, but that's why I asked here so I could maintain the friendship and not screw shit up.
Click to expand...

Gotdatmoney already answered you, and it's slightly problematic that you're saying that you're "friend zoned" from someone you ostensibly aren't interested in, but...

Fiancée = female. Fiancé = male.

(That's my contribution.)
 
S

Solo

Member
You aren't fooling anyone but yourself, Jetman. With each passing post it becomes more clear that your interest in this "friend" isn't on the level.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
No_Style said:
Wow. This thread went places in just a few hours.
Click to expand...

I swear, I go to the gym and come back and all sorts of crazy shit is happening.

It's pretty entertaining for work though.

Uh, I guess I should contribute somehow... don't cheat on your SOs people. There y'all go for some golden advice
 
L

Lulubop

Member
No Valentine plans for me, everyone I've fucked with these last few months are gone. Most of the time because of me. I wouldn't mind a date so I'll be swiping. I'm sure someone is gonna hit me up out the blue, and I'll be doing the same.
 
C

Curt Baboon

Member
Jetman said:
Welp, I'm currently single, and was going to do it tonight before class. Valentines Day is for her and her fiancé.
I have other female friends who say their best guy friends get them Valentines...something. Whether it's cards, donuts, whatever. To me cards, donuts, and that shit sounds way weird. Pizza was the least harmless thing I could think of.
Click to expand...

I really like that the most harmless thing you could conjure up was a heart-shaped pizza.

Like, you shouldn't be getting her anything to begin with, but a funny card and/or donuts would be infinitely more casual than a heart-shaped whatever.

Also, your lady friends must be surrounded by a harem of friend-zoned sad sacks because I've never seen a guy give anything to a girl on Valentines if there's no interest involved.
 
J

Jetman

Member
Gotdatmoney said:
Think of it this way.

You got the W, why are you looking for an L?



I've seen and read enough stories to know this has never stopped people from trying (and failing)

Any how now you know. Don't do romantic gestures for people who you aren't romantic with. Yes a HEART shaped pizza on VALENTINES DAY is a romantic gesture (the caps are for emphasis)
Click to expand...

Haha, fair enough! Thanks for the input, man!


Solo said:
You aren't fooling anyone but yourself, Jetman. With each passing post it becomes more clear that your interest in this "friend" isn't on the level.
Click to expand...

Haha, nothing's gonna happen or will. I ain't gonna do anything, that's for sure.
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
I sometimes give Valentine's Day cards to female friends. Depending on the nature and history of our friendship, they may be a bit saucy, but there is always humor.

This year one cutie is getting a card inscribed with this:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
A shame you feel like,
I'm related to you.
 
V

vern

Member
No Valentine's Day date for me. Seen a few girls the past few days, will take tomorow off and assess what I've got going on with my past few dates. One was actually quite nice. Financial analyst, professional, 25, hot as hell. Decent conversation too. Kind of like Zackie said before, nice to have a good conversation with someone that's got things going on and is intelligent. 15th head on a business trip to Seoul where I will be swiping as fast as I can to see what's there, I usually strike out in korea. And then back to shanghai at the weekend where I have a girl I used to "date" long ago, flying into visit me and see if we can give it a serious shot this time. She'll be around for 4 days. If it's agreeable she'll probably move back to shanghai in march from a different province. I'm feeling the itch again, like our dearly departed ZC, to get something serious going. Let's see how long that feeling lasts.
 
J

Jetman

Member
Count Dookkake said:
I sometimes give Valentine's Day cards to female friends. Depending on the nature and history of our friendship, they may be a bit saucy, but there is always humor.

This year one cutie is getting a card inscribed with this:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
A shame you feel like,
I'm related to you.
Click to expand...

Hahaha, awesome! Where do you find these?
 
B

brawly

Member
Sister: "what are you doing on VD?"
Me: "which day is VD?"
Sister: "Tuesday"
Me: "Tuesday is back day"

Good luck to everyone who has a date tomorrow.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
I saw this one in a balloon several years ago that I still remember to this day:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I'm laughing like hell
Because I'm younger than you

I'm not stressing tomorrow's date because I don't care about the "holiday." It wasn't my intention to set it deliberately on that day. My concern is that I think inadvertently set the girl's expectations too high by painting myself as being cocky. So I have some pressure to "fake it till you make it." I'm planning to hit the gym afterwards because it's in my neighborhood. It's business as usual.

The best memory I have about Valentine's Day to be honest is being at the Museum of Modern Art alone a few years ago and running into my old English professor/his wife there.
 
stn

stn

Member
Don't buy valentines day gifts for someone who is in a relationship. Its passive-aggressive, makes you look weird, causes a disturbance on what is a "special" day for the couple involved, and will probably encourage the boyfriend to want to beat the fuck out of you.

If you like a girl, just ask her out. If she's in a relationship, find someone else to like. Very simple.
 
Mobile Suit Gooch

Mobile Suit Gooch

Grundle: The Awakening
16406771_670161653153812_8895120530915487047_n.jpg
Click to expand...

Halp....
 
F

FyreWulff

Member
stn said:
Don't buy valentines day gifts for someone who is in a relationship. Its passive-aggressive, makes you look weird, causes a disturbance on what is a "special" day for the couple involved, and will probably encourage the boyfriend to want to beat the fuck out of you.

If you like a girl, just ask her out. If she's in a relationship, find someone else to like. Very simple.
Click to expand...

^
 
J

Jetman

Member
Count Dookkake said:
Here's one for ya:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Got this off the 'net,
Impressed, aren't you?

:p



I'd give it to an ex, but change "I'm" to "she's."
Click to expand...

Nice,

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Heart-shaped Pizza's
Are romantic for two

<crys>


Hahahaha, no seriously GAF. Thanks for looking out and talking me out of some stupidity
 
N

No_Style

Member
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I wrote this while on the loo.

You guys have been great, you guys have been nice.
Thank you all for the awesome advice.

I wish you the best, so let me just say,
"Have a Happy Valentine's Day!"
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
Jetman said:
Hahaha, dude, there's no 'good friend backdoor gambit' when you're friend zoned. That's the only way the fiancé would even allow us to be friends, I'm sure. Totally okay with it, but that's why I asked here so I could maintain the friendship and not screw shit up.
Click to expand...

Jetman said:
Haha, nothing's gonna happen or will. I ain't gonna do anything, that's for sure.
Click to expand...

Textbook Orbiter behavior.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=orbiter&defid=4228453

Seriously, male partners hate orbiters and just tolerate them for long enough to not be accused of not letting her have male friends or being insecure. We know the difference between a male friend and that single guy who's just hanging around doing cute stuff waiting for the opportunity. They're never "doing"anything, won't make a move and are disingenuous when they claim they have no interest, right up until it looks like she might become single and then they are ready with the catchers mitt.

I had to get rid of an orbiter when I started dating my now wife. We had only been dating for a couple of weeks and one Saturday she was invited to a friends house for a girls night in (eating snacks, painting each others nails and a chick flick). She asked if I wanted to go but I declined when I knew what it was. I stayed in played Xbox instead.

So she sent me a few pictures that night and let me know she was having a good time and the pictures were exactly like I imagined, 6 women having a girls night in. But in the back of one of the pictures I spotted a guy. Just one guy at this girls night in.

P49_3_sciencestation-Tomorrow_is_Ye.jpg

Captain we have detected and Orbiter on long range scanners!

So I asked who he was and he was "just a friend" of one of the girls. But he had been paying compliments to my new girlfriend and she had known him a little longer than I had. I told her to be careful of guys like that because they are always being smooth because they chase women all the time. This was bullshit of course, but I wanted rid of him before he became a problem. So the next week I have arranged a date with my girlfriend and it clashed with the orbiters invitation to go the the beach "as friends". Specific date to a theme park beat out beach with a friend so she made and excuse to the orbiter and dated me. She then put some pictures of the date on her social and the orbiter sent her the saltiest text message ever and she showed me it. That's all I needed to convince her to block him because he was obviously an immature child and not a real friend.
 
C

Curt Baboon

Member
Gooch: The Destroyer said:
B-but what if I'm not bigger enough, plus I've never done it before either...
Click to expand...

You're just getting in your own way, mang.

Sex really isn't a big deal, just get it over with and move on. The worst case scenario is that you are awful on your first time and the girl has a bad lay on her record (which you can totally prevent by just focusing on her having a good time instead of worrying about you cumming when you think you're supposed to or any of that shit).

So what if your first time is a little awkward? You will no longer have your V card, and now that sex is no longer on a pedestal you're free to plow away without the irrational fear of being bad at something a LOT of people are actually terrible at regardless of how many times they do it.

I don't know how old you are, but I can guarantee that you're going to feel silly for being so worried about something so pedestrian for so long.
 
P

Pancake Mix

Copied someone else's pancake recipe
If I get to that stage...yeah I don't think I'll have any problems.

For me, it's the journey there that seems quite a climb.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
I have bad luck with Asian's girls who like just moved to this country, mostly with actually meeting in person. Not that they're down for it, but it's like pulling teeth when picking a spot. Just had like an hour long back and forth with this Japanese girl who wanted to meet but I was kinda running errands. I was just like forget it for today. She's super hot, so I hope I didn't fuck this one up.
 
Mobile Suit Gooch

Mobile Suit Gooch

Grundle: The Awakening
Gotdatmoney said:
What is it you are scared of?
Click to expand...
Shit. I don't know. Never feeling attractive enough.(I guess) Still awkward around girls I'm attracted to. I feel like I'm being annoying to this girl even though she doesn't mind my presence and hangs around and talk to me. I'm sure it's obvious to her that I like her. Probably just being nice about it. Hell, she's socially awkward herself.

I don't have my drivers license either...Not like I don't have a way to get around.
Let me get this rejection outta the way, bruh,
Count Dookkake said:
How old are you?

You trying to be a wizard?
Click to expand...

25....and
....No?
 
T

thestopsign

Member
I posted a few pages back about a girl I went on a date with last Friday and my stupid anxiety over texting intervals.

Anyways she was awesome. Best first date I've ever had and it was just a simple dinner with no extracurriculars after. She was super witty and we had a solid 2.5 hour block of fast paced banter and basic exploratory conversation that first dates typically are made up of. I asked her when she is free this coming week for another date and now we are seeing La La Land together on Wednesday (I just saw it, but I told her I would see it again). I tried to push the date to Valentine's Day, but she already had girl's night plans with her friends apparently.

It is honestly the most excited I've been for a second date in a while. I am normally too picky and something throws me off of a girl at some point during the first date, but that wasn't the case here. It has been one of the rare cases where it seemed mostly effortless.
 
C

Curt Baboon

Member
Gooch: The Destroyer said:
Shit. I don't know. Never feeling attractive enough.(I guess) Still awkward around girls I'm attracted to. I feel like I'm being annoying to this girl even though she doesn't mind my presence and hangs around and talk to me. I'm sure it's obvious to her that I like her. Probably just being nice about it. Hell, she's socially awkward herself.
Click to expand...

Attractiveness gets you 20% of the way there, it's really not the be-all end-all people think it is. I have friends punching way above their weight thanks to charisma and confidence alone.

Being good-looking just changes how quickly/easily you can start things off, it doesn't determine if she's going to like or hate you altogether. If you're not a looker, that just means you have to do a little bit more legwork in order to be interesting to women; but there's honestly nothing a dude can accomplish by being hot that another can't accomplish by being funny/interesting/charming.

Also, do NOT fear failure. That's the thing that trips up most socially awkward guys. See it as the game that it is and get good at it by fucking up and seeing what works and what doesn't, and do it on your terms.
 
M

MrOogieBoogie

BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
vern said:
No Valentine's Day date for me. Seen a few girls the past few days, will take tomorow off and assess what I've got going on with my past few dates. One was actually quite nice. Financial analyst, professional, 25, hot as hell. Decent conversation too. Kind of like Zackie said before, nice to have a good conversation with someone that's got things going on and is intelligent. 15th head on a business trip to Seoul where I will be swiping as fast as I can to see what's there, I usually strike out in korea. And then back to shanghai at the weekend where I have a girl I used to "date" long ago, flying into visit me and see if we can give it a serious shot this time. She'll be around for 4 days. If it's agreeable she'll probably move back to shanghai in march from a different province. I'm feeling the itch again, like our dearly departed ZC, to get something serious going. Let's see how long that feeling lasts.
Click to expand...

Jeez lol

Not picking on you, I'm just quoting the bolded because it sounds so weirdly... cold? That's what dating looks like to me with the advent of social apps. It all reads like some strange futuristic utopia where at the whim of a fingertip you can move from person to person.

Best of luck to you, bro, seriously I mean no disrespect. Just making a curious observation about the language of society these days.
 
V

Valkerionseven

Member
Gooch: The Destroyer said:
Shit. I don't know. Never feeling attractive enough.(I guess) Still awkward around girls I'm attracted to. I feel like I'm being annoying to this girl even though she doesn't mind my presence and hangs around and talk to me. I'm sure it's obvious to her that I like her. Probably just being nice about it. Hell, she's socially awkward herself.

I don't have my drivers license either...Not like I don't have a way to get around.
Let me get this rejection outta the way, bruh,


25....and
....No?
Click to expand...

So the fuck what.

People have done more with less in all honesty. I don't have a license, I get really nervous when talking to a lady I'm actually into, and so on ad nausium. It's called being a human. Stop making excuses for why someone MIGHT reject and and start posting reasons why the person actually DID reject you like the rest of us lol.

Seriously, though your psyching yourself out and making excuses to not even try. Why worry about if your big enough, or experienced enough if you can't even get to the point where its being offered? Take things as they come, and stop making negative scenarios for everything.

Trust me, as someone who was and honestly still is like you, I am down right baffled with how many women are interested in a not good looking, gaming all day, loser like myself, that barely speaks the language, just from going out a few hours on the weekend.

Stuff tends to work eventually if you just try.
 
S

Spaced Harrier

Member
Competition in work today to finish off the roses are red poem.

My entry:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your fake tan is Orange
Now my bedsheets are too.
 
P

Peltz

Member
For Valentine's Day, I made a reservation for a really nice Italian restaurant and the girl I'm seeing is so excited. We both are. It's really great.

Should I top it off with flowers? I always feel like such a doofus when I give a girl flowers. But I feel like it's sort of expected on Valentine's Day.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

So, how can we fix dating for men?
2 3 4
188
7K
Lord Panda replied
Is modern dating supposed to be *this* hard?
2 3
139
8K
arkhamguy123 replied
Is Mode One an effective dating strategy for men?
2
65
5K
West Texas CEO replied
The Wild Robot: A great family film if you wanna see everyone cry :P
18
2K
StueyDuck replied
Aging in reverse
26
2K
Hazzard4life replied
Top Bottom