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[Gotdatmoney]

Shit. I don't know. Never feeling attractive enough.(I guess)

You're looks aren't going to magically change. If you are self conscious about your looks (who isn't btw?) you can only do 2 things. Work on your style and your body (gym/exercise, wardrobe do over) or leave things as is. If you do the former it may help with confidemce and attraction but it aint the end all be all. You still have to over come the fear of rejection. Even people that look like damn models get turned down. It isn't the end of the world. I have been shot down tons. You just have to learn to do what is in your power and let the rest flow as is.

Still awkward around girls I'm attracted to.

You only get better by doing. So you need to talk and figure out your strengths and weaknesses in maintaining conversation.

I feel like I'm being annoying to this girl even though she doesn't mind my presence and hangs around and talk to me. I'm sure it's obvious to her that I like her. Probably just being nice about it.

I mean w/e. This is irrelevant. All you do is if you like her ask her on a date. What else are you expecting to happen? She magically falls for you all of a sudden? Ask for what you want man.

Hell, she's socially awkward herself.

I dunno if this is projecting or w/e but doesn't really matter. You want a date just ask for it. Just ask for what you want.

I don't have my drivers license either...Not like I don't have a way to get around.

Depending on where you live this may or may not be a big deal. If you can get around though it's fine.

Let me get this rejection outta the way, bruh,

Taking an L is not a big deal. A lot of yall need to get to get the fuck over this. If you are so scared of rejection you just sit around lonely and you also bitch about being lonely, how the fuck can you solve your problem? Someone saying no is not a big deal. Now you know, you learn from it, you grow, you take a step to being better equiped for the next time. That is literally it.

25....and
....No?

Jesus, we're the same age :/

Being bad at sex the first time is going to happen btw. You are gonna suck at it. So if you are nervous or not it isn't going to matter. Everyone is terrible at it their first time. Instead of worrying so much about what the other person thinks be happy you got to the point where you got someone you like naked and comfortable enough to want to do it with you. Be proud in your game instead of being worried about not being enough.

As I said to someone else earlier today. Enjoy the motherfucking W instead of trying to find some L in the moment.

 

[Pancake Mix]

Is no driver's licence a big deal? I should probably get on that...

 

[GK86]

Is no driver's licence a big deal? I should probably get on that...

Depends on where you live, I'm guessing.

In NYC, na.

 

[Valkerionseven]

In Japan news, seeing a friend get all giddy that a lady gave him chocolate this morning.

Don't have the heart to explain to him how Valentines day is a day for women to give chocolates to the men and boys around them, and not a romantic holiday for those not already in a couple. -shrug- I'll let him enjoy the moment lol.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

In Japan news, seeing a friend get all giddy that a lady gave him chocolate this morning.

Don't have the heart to explain to him how Valentines day is a day for women to give chocolates to the men and boys around them, and not a romantic holiday for those not already in a couple. -shrug- I'll let him enjoy the moment lol.

Just make sure you tell him about White Day ahead of time. And, you know, properly define it. America, you know.

 

[smisk]

How do you guys even meet women? I'm 25 and have only been on a few dates over the past few years, all were people I met online. Getting pretty tired of using apps since it rarely leads to anything, right now I don't even have any prospects, and haven't been on a date since October.
I may have been shy around women in college, but at least I had regular contact with them and had avenues to meet people. Now it just feels hopeless..

 

[Curt Baboon]

How do you guys even meet women? I'm 25 and have only been on a few dates over the past few years, all were people I met online. Getting pretty tired of using apps since it rarely leads to anything, right now I don't even have any prospects, and haven't been on a date since October.
I may have been shy around women in college, but at least I had regular contact with them and had avenues to meet people. Now it just feels hopeless..

It's the oldest advice in the world, but it's also the only one that works: talk to people.

Contrary to popular belief, you can talk to anyone without them feeling insulted by the notion of a stranger chatting them up. Just be cool, don't overthink things and put yourself out there.

 

[Count Dookkake]

25....and
....No?

You have 5 years then.

Get over your fear.

 

[vern]

Jeez lol

Not picking on you, I'm just quoting the bolded because it sounds so weirdly... cold? That's what dating looks like to me with the advent of social apps. It all reads like some strange futuristic utopia where at the whim of a fingertip you can move from person to person.

Best of luck to you, bro, seriously I mean no disrespect. Just making a curious observation about the language of society these days.

Lol it's all good. When I'm in a town for a few days I'm not really looking to seriously "date" someone. Happy to go out and hang, grab drinks, be shown around, and possibly hook up. In Korea people are quite averse to meeting someone the first night you make contact on an app like Tinder, from my experience. I've met a few and had fun times, but never hooked up there in Korea (with someone from an app). Strike out didn't necessarily mean just unable to smang, though that's part of it. I get what you are saying though.

 

[Curt Baboon]

You have 5 years then.

Get over your fear.

Or start growing a huge beard and start shopping for magic staffs.

 

[Xun]

Wow. This thread went places in just a few hours.

No kidding.

Is no driver's licence a big deal? I should probably get on that...

If you were American I'd say it could potentially matter, but considering you're from the UK I don't think it matters at all.

No one has ever looked at me badly for not having a licence, even though I do plan on changing that this year (at the age of 27...)

 

[Jokab]

For Valentine's Day, I made a reservation for a really nice Italian restaurant and the girl I'm seeing is so excited. We both are. It's really great.

Should I top it off with flowers? I always feel like such a doofus when I give a girl flowers. But I feel like it's sort of expected on Valentine's Day.

Kind of depends on how long you've been seeing each other and what she likes, but I'd say no. Personally I'd never do that kind of thing.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

No kidding.

If you were American I'd say it could potentially matter, but considering you're from the UK I don't think it matters at all.

No one has ever looked at me badly for not having a licence, even though I do plan on changing that this year (at the age of 27...)

It's only really a concern if you live somewhere without public transit or common ways of getting around. If you live somewhere where the only real way to get around is a car then it starts to matter much more.

 

[gaiages]

Is no driver's licence a big deal? I should probably get on that...

Really depends on where you live. Here, unless you live on a college campus, it's kinda looked down on to not have some mode of transportation. The public transportation system kinda sucks cuz it ends at 7PM and doesn't run on Sundays, so it's not easy enough to get around. My bf got turned down for a lot of dates simply because he didn't have a car (their loss, my gain mwahaha).

In a place with good public transportation (NYC, DC, etc) it isn't really a big deal.

 

[direct_quote]

So the girl I've been on a couple dates with told me she has HSV 2, and I don't know what to think.. I think she's a great girl and we have a lot in common ( besides me maybe wanting a kid and she can't have kids). So any advice ( or people with the same experience)? I was reading the past gaf thread on this issue but I don't really want to bump that or make another thread...

 

[Llyranor]

For some people, herpes is not a big deal, for others it is. Lots of people have it, but that doesn't mean you need to willingly expose yourself to it. It all really depends on your personal threshold.

Here's what I posted on it previously:
1)It *can* be pretty mild and infrequent (some people will just have a few bumps every few years), but not necessarily. Do not google-image genital herpes.
2) Treatment is pretty effective, but only helps reduce the duration/severity of the outbreak. It's not a magic pill that makes it instantly vanish.
3) HSV-2 is usually more severe than HSV-1. You can also get either of them on either face or genitals. So if you give oral sex, you put yourself at risk.
4) Condoms are not fool-proof. If she has a rash along the groin somewhere, just contact can spread it without requiring penetration.
5) Even if she does not actively have an outbreak, there is still a change of asymptomatic viral shedding without lesions, so there will never be a 0% chance of transmission (if she is on suppressive antiviral treatment, it might lower the risk perhaps)

 

[No_Style]

Really depends on where you live. Here, unless you live on a college campus, it's kinda looked down on to not have some mode of transportation. The public transportation system kinda sucks cuz it ends at 7PM and doesn't run on Sundays, so it's not easy enough to get around. My bf got turned down for a lot of dates simply because he didn't have a car (their loss, my gain mwahaha).

In a place with good public transportation (NYC, DC, etc) it isn't really a big deal.

An ex of mind held my decision to not own a car against me (I had my license but no car). She said it kept bugging her that I didn't own a car because it was a sign of "not taking control of my life" and a sign of my unwillingness to go on road trips. I was content taking the bus everywhere and I didn't need it for work so it didn't make sense for me to own one. I was also able to afford my beautiful single home because I wasn't burdening myself with a car I didn't need. Needless to say we didn't stay together for long.

A year or so later, I bought a 2016 Chevy Volt.

 

[Makonero]

For Valentine's Day, I made a reservation for a really nice Italian restaurant and the girl I'm seeing is so excited. We both are. It's really great.

Should I top it off with flowers? I always feel like such a doofus when I give a girl flowers. But I feel like it's sort of expected on Valentine's Day.

Girls so rarely get flowers, it's always been a big deal in my experience. It's always great if instead of roses you get her favorite color or type of flower too, to show that you're being thoughtful.

 

[Xun]

Pathetically this has been the worst I've ever felt on Valentines Day, and the radio at work playing nothing but love songs certainly hasn't helped matters.

It's crazy to think it took me 27 years to fall for someone and have a heartbreak, but it did. The ironic thing is the girl even asked me when we were going out if I've ever had my heart broken before...

On the plus side however, I'm actually pretty inspired creatively (despite being drained from time to time due to my recent bout of mono), so in some ways it's been a bizarre blessing in disguise!

I would say no. It wouldn't hurt but I can't even use Tinder anymore (can't activate) so what do I know? I did drag this conversation with a girl on Tinder on for like 3 weeks because she was replying infrequently.

Most girls don't seem to unmatch anyway, so I'll get back into it all in a few weeks.

I matched with a fair few when I randomly decided to swipe the other day...

It's only really a concern if you live somewhere without public transit or common ways of getting around. If you live somewhere where the only real way to get around is a car then it starts to matter much more.

That's what I thought.

I've always wanted to visit California but held off on it since I don't drive.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Flowers are marked up for Valentine's Day. My girlfriend understands if I get her something else instead.

 

[Raptomex]

How do you guys even meet women? I'm 25 and have only been on a few dates over the past few years, all were people I met online. Getting pretty tired of using apps since it rarely leads to anything, right now I don't even have any prospects, and haven't been on a date since October.
I may have been shy around women in college, but at least I had regular contact with them and had avenues to meet people. Now it just feels hopeless..

It's even harder if you're not social. The common thing seems to be "getting drinks" and I don't drink or go to bars so needless to say, it's not easy.

 

[Makonero]

It's even harder if you're not social. The common thing seems to be "getting drinks" and I don't drink or go to bars so needless to say, it's not easy.

Board game meetups. Hiking groups. Dance classes. Meetup.com is great for this.

Not everything has to be drinking-centric. Lots of options out there for social activity.

 

[Kurtofan]

im hungry

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Girls so rarely get flowers, it's always been a big deal in my experience. It's always great if instead of roses you get her favorite color or type of flower too, to show that you're being thoughtful.

I told my coworkers I was getting my gf pink flowers because that's her favorite color. They scoffed and told me to get roses lol.

 

[Makonero]

I told my coworkers I was getting my gf pink flowers because that's her favorite color. They scoffed and told me to get roses lol.

LOL well I guess everyone is different. I've dated like four separate women who have all said they hate roses, but I guess they're still really popular for a reason

 

[Kurtofan]

Someone I ghosted on online just removed me from their skype contact list, why does it hurt lol?

I feel shitty

She was nice and we got along well but she lived in another country, what was I supposed to do, just felt like a waste of time

the whole online dating thing is just too stressful for me, I don't want to deal with talking to strangers online just in the hopes of getting along with one of them. i like to relax when i get home

 

[gaiages]

im hungry

Me too

Someone I ghosted on online just removed me from their skype contact list, why does it hurt lol?

I mean if you ghost someone you shouldn't really expect them to want to keep in contact with you

 

[Kurtofan]

I stress hard talking to girls is the problem, I really want to feel like the stress is worth it, so I end up ghosting unless I feel really attracted

why should I be the one to talk first anyway? They can message me.

 

[FyreWulff]

I stress hard talking to girls is the problem, I really want to feel like the stress is worth it, so I end up ghosting unless I feel really attracted

Stop trying to have your cake and eat it too? Just put yourself out there and talk. Don't think too much about it.

Like, last week I had a back and forth about a topic we both really liked with a woman on OKC, and she just suddenly stopped. Just how it is. It's surface level interaction with surface-level commitment. You should be talking to as many women as possible until one of the relationships goes deeper.

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Question, please I need expert advice and answers fast!

I am goign on a FIRST DATE, that's right FIRST DATE on Valentine's Day...

Any suggestions to get her something?

Should I even get her a rose or a box of chocolates, or that'll be too chessy? creepy? too much etc.

We have been texting and chatting it up for almost two week though...

 

[GK86]

Don't get her shit.

 

[Count Dookkake]

No gift, but you might make a joke out of it.

 

[Messofanego]

Question, please I need expert advice and answers fast!

I am goign on a FIRST DATE, that's right FIRST DATE on Valentine's Day...

Any suggestions to get her something?

Should I even get her a rose or a box of chocolates, or that'll be too chessy? creepy? too much etc.

We have been texting and chatting it up for almost two week though...

Isn't paying for a meal enough?

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Don't get her shit.

No gift, but you might make a joke out of it.

Isn't paying for a meal enough?

Good stuff, thanks GAF, I had all these three in mind... I was already planning on paying for her meal (V day or not) but yeah, bonus that I can make a "bigger" deal (Joke about it ) for paying for her meal, if you will ...

 

[painey]

So the girl I've been on a couple dates with told me she has HSV 2, and I don't know what to think.. I think she's a great girl and we have a lot in common ( besides me maybe wanting a kid and she can't have kids). So any advice ( or people with the same experience)? I was reading the past gaf thread on this issue but I don't really want to bump that or make another thread...

I dealt with this. The stress that goes through your head is crazy.. washing up right away after sex, brushing your teeth and gargling right away after oral, washing your hands all the time. Going crazy every time your nuts itch. It really ruins a lot of the romance. Unless you are fully willing to just accept you're gunna get it, but I wasn't ever gunna commit to something like that until marriage. The worst thing is there is a pill a woman can take to lower the risk some, but she resented taking it. Go figure.

 

[Lucian Cat]

This was my first valentine's day single. Wasn't phased one bit. Had my bff over and we made stir fry and watched the new walking dead. Best.

 

[Disxo]

Happy valentine's day guys!

 

[Cow Mengde]

I did something incredibly cheesy.

Even if I fail, no regrets!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!

 

[always crazy bacon]

I did something incredibly cheesy.

Even if I fail, no regrets!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!

Was it a heart shaped Pizza?

 

[MattyG]

So my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years yesterday. She said she wasn't going to have anything with anyone for a long time, she needed time. She knows I have feelings for her and she said she needed time, so I told her that's fine. Well I just found out that she told her sister she wants to have sex with me. Trouble is that I'm a virgin and I'm freaking the fuck out. Is this a bad idea? She just wants something casual for now but said "if it doesn't work we're fine, if it does then we're together and we're fine." She doesn't want to commit right now, but she wants to sleep together while we figure things out. I'm honestly terrified, but only because it's her and we care about each other so much.

Edit: Welp, I'm talking to her about it right now.

 

[direct_quote]

I dealt with this. The stress that goes through your head is crazy.. washing up right away after sex, brushing your teeth and gargling right away after oral, washing your hands all the time. Going crazy every time your nuts itch. It really ruins a lot of the romance. Unless you are fully willing to just accept you're gunna get it, but I wasn't ever gunna commit to something like that until marriage. The worst thing is there is a pill a woman can take to lower the risk some, but she resented taking it. Go figure.

Hmm thanks for the insight. My problem is I'm a very anxious person so I'm chill thinking about it now, but I could imagine after sex I'd be freaking out. She is taking the pill I know that, so I might have to think about this for a while... Did you use protection and how long did you date (if you don't mind me asking)?

 

[painey]

Hmm thanks for the insight. My problem is I'm a very anxious person so I'm chill thinking about it now, but I could imagine after sex I'd be freaking out. She is taking the pill I know that, so I might have to think about this for a while... Did you use protection and how long did you date (if you don't mind me asking)?

PM'd ya

 

[always crazy bacon]

So my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years yesterday. She said she wasn't going to have anything with anyone for a long time, she needed time. She knows I have feelings for her and she said she needed time, so I told her that's fine. Well I just found out that she told her sister she wants to have sex with me. Trouble is that I'm a virgin and I'm freaking the fuck out. Is this a bad idea? She just wants something casual for now but said "if it doesn't work we're fine, if it does then we're together and we're fine." She doesn't want to commit right now, but she wants to sleep together while we figure things out. I'm honestly terrified, but only because it's her and we care about each other so much.

Edit: Welp, I'm talking to her about it right now.

You're the convienient rebound guy. Not a good position to be in and if I were you Id wait a while rather than risk being a relationship safety net for her.

 

[Salamando]

So my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years yesterday. She said she wasn't going to have anything with anyone for a long time, she needed time. She knows I have feelings for her and she said she needed time, so I told her that's fine. Well I just found out that she told her sister she wants to have sex with me. Trouble is that I'm a virgin and I'm freaking the fuck out. Is this a bad idea? She just wants something casual for now but said "if it doesn't work we're fine, if it does then we're together and we're fine." She doesn't want to commit right now, but she wants to sleep together while we figure things out. I'm honestly terrified, but only because it's her and we care about each other so much.

Edit: Welp, I'm talking to her about it right now.

Virginity aside, you'd be a rebound. That's a messy, confusing place to be in. Give her time to solidify the breakup. You can't unfuck someone, and how do you think you'll feel if you do and she gets back together with her BF next week? "if it doesn't work we're fine", ha!

 

[MattyG]

You're the convienient rebound guy. Not a good position to be in and if I were you Id wait a while rather than risk being a relationship safety net for her.

Virginity aside, you'd be a rebound. That's a messy, confusing place to be in. Give her time to solidify the breakup. You can't unfuck someone, and how do you think you'll feel if you do and she gets back together with her BF next week? "if it doesn't work we're fine", ha!

We're talking it out right now. She said she's felt this way for months and just didn't know if we could work until now. I'm going to think about it hard though, thank you for the advice.

 

[Samyy]

So the girl I've been on a couple dates with told me she has HSV 2, and I don't know what to think.. I think she's a great girl and we have a lot in common ( besides me maybe wanting a kid and she can't have kids). So any advice ( or people with the same experience)? I was reading the past gaf thread on this issue but I don't really want to bump that or make another thread...

You have a 1% chance of getting herpes from her on an annual basis assuming you have sex twice a week for a year, assuming you use condoms and she is on the pill.

If your going to act all anxious then don't bother for her sake, it can be fairly emotionally distressing to have your partner freaking out after sex, especially when there are plenty of people who don't care that she could meet.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

So my best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years yesterday. She said she wasn't going to have anything with anyone for a long time, she needed time. She knows I have feelings for her and she said she needed time, so I told her that's fine. Well I just found out that she told her sister she wants to have sex with me. Trouble is that I'm a virgin and I'm freaking the fuck out. Is this a bad idea? She just wants something casual for now but said "if it doesn't work we're fine, if it does then we're together and we're fine." She doesn't want to commit right now, but she wants to sleep together while we figure things out. I'm honestly terrified, but only because it's her and we care about each other so much.

Edit: Welp, I'm talking to her about it right now.

Personally I would be on the other side as the other guys and say you should just go for it. Nothing wrong with being the rebound if you are fine with the terms. If you are bad at sex meh, you get better by doing, not worrying. The way you describe this situation she is not going to be long term with you regardless so shrug, may as well use this as a learning experience.

 

[N.Domixis]

Spoiler

Halp....

Exactly, it's better to not know and hope than to know and go into deep depression. Lol Im joking this would be a terrible thing to do.

 

[norm9]

It's the worst feeling when your very social friend with lots of friends doesn't know anyone single that would vibe with you.

 

[Jetman]

Was it a heart shaped Pizza?

XD

And read your story on the last page. I think the only way forward is to avoid her and the two of them until I find someone of my own, then maybe we can do shit as couples on equal ground. Made up a bullshit excuse and canceled plans to hang with them at a ballgame later this week.