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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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So I think I'm gonna try getting back into this, got back on tinder. However, seems like tinder has gotten even buggier. It keeps putting me into groups with no one for some reason. Gotten some matches already at least.
 
So things like Bowling or mini-golf is fine, right? I thought it would be cool just to bs around getting to know each other more. *shrugs*

Bowling is not good. What happens is you have to take turns so you either end up barely bowling while you talk or barely talking because you're bowling. Bowling is better when you have 4-6 people because then you can talk in spurts. Or when you and the date k ow each other well enough that talking for that hour or so isn't pivitol.

Mini golf is good though. It normally makes for fun times. Just don't like take it seriously. I don't know the climate of where you are at but if the weather is nice hikes or walks × ice cream are always solid choices.
 
So things like Bowling or mini-golf is fine, right? I thought it would be cool just to bs around getting to know each other more. *shrugs*

DO NOT GO BOWLING, I've managed to go on three bowling dates and they all went pretty badly. I went on a double date when I had a girlfriend and that was alright cause you could still talk while someone was bowling. If it's just the two of you then it's just a lot of awkwardness.
 

Mobile Suit Gooch

Grundle: The Awakening
alright, I'll push that one back. Mini-golf...If she says yes or unless she suggests something else. This is harder than actually asking someone out.
 
Yeah, I'm not really into the bar scene.

Keep in mind "the bar scene" is varied. A quieter (say, hipster) bar with a craft beer list isn't like a wine bar and neither of those are like the shitshows that are college bars.

I think you need to be open to trying a bar: it's the most common first date location for a reason. This plays into the "unwritten rules of dating" that people don't generally grasp.
 

vern

Member
We've been through this time and again, nothing wrong with 18 year olds. Get after it. You are both adults capable of making grown up decisions。
 
Should I even bother asking out an 18 year old if I'm 26?
I'd be cautious. Most important is that you want her as a person, and not as an 18 year old. She might be mature for her age, you might be immature for your age, or maybe a mix. What's important is that you get along well. That, and making sure she is of legal age.

I might have a bit of a twisted view on age and romance. My great grandmother and grandfather married when she was 17 and he was 50. They were happily married, never fought, and truly loved each other until he died at 99. She died about a week later. The age gap was creepy even for the time period, but they had the strongest bond between two people that I've seen.
 

gaiages

Banned
We've been through this time and again, nothing wrong with 18 year olds. Get after it. You are both adults capable of making grown up decisions。

Maybe one out of high school yeah, but I wouldn't want to be taking my new 18yo SO to the prom :p

But re: maturity, that's less of an age and more of a mindset, so I find the hang up on age (generally) to be a bad thing.
 
Date went well last night. From 8pm to 1am, good conversation, no lulls, I really enjoyed my time. But no physical contact of any kind, which I will have to step up on to make my intentions clear that I'm not trying to be her friend.

What's the general consensus on how long to wait before setting up another date? Is the 3 day rule of no contact after a date still in effect?
 
I usually hit up the woman the day after to set something up.

I'm leaning towards that, but common chatter on this thread makes it sound like it could be a little quick? I'm not a big fan of playing games and trying to time things arbitrarily either. I'll probably contact her today.
 

artsi

Member
I'm leaning towards that, but common chatter on this thread makes it sound like it could be a little quick? I'm not a big fan of playing games and trying to time things arbitrarily either. I'll probably contact her today.

I've never waited more than a day, sometimes I've arranged stuff right after the first date.

If they're interested they are, waiting for a long time is not going to increase that lol.
And if they're not, better to find out right away than waste time right?
 
I'm leaning towards that, but common chatter on this thread makes it sound like it could be a little quick? I'm not a big fan of playing games and trying to time things arbitrarily either. I'll probably contact her today.

I think dating is changing a lot and there's no need for the 3 day rule. Just a message after the date to say you had a good time and then the next day to set up another date is fine. Just don't message too much if she's not reciprocating or instigating the conversation.
 

vern

Member
Maybe one out of high school yeah, but I wouldn't want to be taking my new 18yo SO to the prom :p

But re: maturity, that's less of an age and more of a mindset, so I find the hang up on age (generally) to be a bad thing.

Luckily in china there is no prom.

Last 18 year old I "dated" was a virgin that just wanted to learn how to have sex from an experienced and older man. She was cool as fuck. Showed her what's up. Now she's got a bf. Nothing wrong with 18 at all.
 
I'm leaning towards that, but common chatter on this thread makes it sound like it could be a little quick? I'm not a big fan of playing games and trying to time things arbitrarily either. I'll probably contact her today.

With all the people on the market I do not suggest waiting more than a day before contact haha. Your fresh in her mind. Dont let time fade it.
 
With all the people on the market I do not suggest waiting more than a day before contact haha. Your fresh in her mind. Dont let time fade it.

The whole idea of waiting is dumb. As long as you aren't ignoring the moment because you're planning the next one, I don't think anyone who is interested in you would be upset you talked to them sooner rather than later.

Never seen a verified Tinder account but just swiped right on this IG model named YasminePetty. Crossing my fingers

Good luck!

SHE SAID YES!

BRUH WHAT THE FUCK?!

It's that easy. Also good luck! Don't be nervous, be you. Treat her like a human being and have a good time. Also have protection on hand in case things turn physical.
 
Date went well last night. From 8pm to 1am, good conversation, no lulls, I really enjoyed my time. But no physical contact of any kind, which I will have to step up on to make my intentions clear that I'm not trying to be her friend.

What's the general consensus on how long to wait before setting up another date? Is the 3 day rule of no contact after a date still in effect?

Your date lasted 5 hours. I would think you have a good idea on whether she'd be receptive to a second date or not.

And don't wait 3 days to contact her.
 
Your date lasted 5 hours. I would think you have a good idea on whether she'd be receptive to a second date or not.

And don't wait 3 days to contact her.

Yup, per consensus, I texted her earlier today to set up a second date. Hoping for an answer, I'll be back here posting either to brag or lament my fate.
 
I'm leaning towards that, but common chatter on this thread makes it sound like it could be a little quick? I'm not a big fan of playing games and trying to time things arbitrarily either. I'll probably contact her today.

If she's not into you, the timing will make *zero* difference.

Just go ahead and say something now. Let her know you had a good time, and figure out when you guys can meet up again. Fuck playing stupid games. If she likes you, she won't be put off by your desire to see her again. But if you needlessly make her fret for 3 days, she could start to put up a little wall to avoid getting hurt, instead of eagerly looking forward to your next hang time.
 
If she's not into you, the timing will make *zero* difference.

Just go ahead and say something now. Let her know you had a good time, and figure out when you guys can meet up again. Fuck playing stupid games. If she likes you, she won't be put off by your desire to see her again. But if you needlessly make her fret for 3 days, she could start to put up a little wall to avoid getting hurt, instead of eagerly looking forward to your next hang time.

Thanks for keeping me sane, GAF. I literally just got a text back, it's on for next week!!!!

Really happy, she seems like a great girl and we have a lot in common.

I am glad I listened and didn't wait for no reason, I probably would've been stressing out all weekend. Love this thread, it feels great to share victories (and defeats)!
 

No_Style

Member
Yup, per consensus, I texted her earlier today to set up a second date. Hoping for an answer, I'll be back here posting either to brag or lament my fate.

We're both in the same boat at the moment. Good luck to you!

My date wasn't nearly as long but I thought we had a good time.

Edit: yay! 2nd date on Wednesday.
 

No_Style

Member
Ok so I think I "Ghosted" a lady, she was 15 minutes late on the first date, I had to get up early the next day... So I just told her, "It's ok lets do this another time"

But haven't replied to her texts for two days now.

Am I dick GAF?


R.R.

Did she tell you that she was going to be late? My last date ended up being 30 min late but she gave me advanced warning that the bus was slow.
 
Yes, she texted me at 7:27 saying "I am running 10 minutes late" .. She was suppose to pick me up with a car2Go at 7:30

She later texted me (like ten minutes later) saying she had difficulty unlocking (starting up ) the Car2Go...

You clearly weren't excited about her if you wouldn't wait 15 minutes with that kind of heads-up. That should be a telling data point.
 
Just got done hanging out with a girl from OkCupid. She was so much cuter than her pics let on. Holy fucking shit. We spent like six hours just eating and walking around and driving and the chemistry was great.

The only problem is, a week ago I *sorta* agreed to take things super slowly and just be "friends" with this girl because I admitted that I was still really stuck on my ex. And she's sorta been helping to talk me through that over the past several days because I'm still fucked up about things. So I think she thinks I'm not interested in her romantically? And that we're just gonna be friends and not date?

What have I done. What. Have. I. Done.
 
Ok so I think I "Ghosted" a lady, she was 15 minutes late on the first date, I had to get up early the next day... So I just told her, "It's ok lets do this another time"

But haven't replied to her texts for two days now.

Am I dick GAF?


R.R.

Depends, did you pay $6 for parki-

Yes, she texted me at 7:27 saying "I am running 10 minutes late" .. She was suppose to pick me up with a car2Go at 7:30

She later texted me (like ten minutes later) saying she had difficulty unlocking (starting up ) the Car2Go...

You were going to get a ride from her and you couldn't wait?
 

DeathoftheEndless

Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
What have I done. What. Have. I. Done.

I think you can still salvage it. If it was me, I'd tell her that you had a great time and that it helped you realize that you're more ready to date again than you thought. Then ask her if she'd be up for more of an actual date with you because you like her a lot.
 
Ok so I think I "Ghosted" a lady, she was 15 minutes late on the first date, I had to get up early the next day... So I just told her, "It's ok lets do this another time"

But haven't replied to her texts for two days now.

Am I dick GAF?


R.R.

Wow, so rude. Do you realize how much time and effort girls put into getting ready for a first date? I'm shocked she hasn't written you off entirely, I would have. Did you have some really great connection over the phone or something prior to scheduling the first outing? If not, I really can't imagine why she'd bother talking to you anymore, especially if you aren't even responding. If you don't like her enough to try again, be decent enough to say as much.
 

No_Style

Member
Wow, so rude. Do you realize how much time and effort girls put into getting ready for a first date? I'm shocked she hasn't written you off entirely, I would have. Did you have some really great connection over the phone or something prior to scheduling the first outing? If not, I really can't imagine why she'd bother talking to you anymore, especially if you aren't even responding. If you don't like her enough to try again, be decent enough to say as much.

I am a big proponent of this. At least tell her you're done with her instead of ghosting.

I commend her persistence with Johnny. I was late by 5 min and one of the girls I dated and she just bounced. I had to apologize profusely just to get a second chance.
 
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