The whole thing is just so bitch made. He got stood up. No one ever said he shouldn't feel some type of way about it. We all clearly feel bad about that. But holy fucking shit, you can feel the venom this dude is harbouring in those texts and his posts here.
It takes a special kind of person to solicit advice from dating age and then screenshot it and send it to a girl with "you weren't shit anyway" just to appease their fragile ego. Dude needs to do some soul searching, no girl should have to date someone like this.
Naw b. This idea that people who you barely know owe you anything needs to die. You are not entitled to anything. People that hate being ghosted feel entitled.
You are not entitled to a response. You are not entitled to closure. You are not owed anything. Understand social cues and grasp that silence means "I don't want to talk". But people you don't know and who do not know you don't need to appease egos.
If you do not wish to speak to someone you don't need to provide justification for it. Especially relationships that consist of texting for a few weeks and meeting a couple times.
Alright, I will bite this, not because I think you know what the fuck you're talking about, it's because I am really curious about what are the rules, laws and etiquette of using technology as a communication device in today's social/dating age.
Hope you'll read my entire posts and fully address my questions.
You seem to be so confident about what is okay and not okay when it comes to Ignoring people you meet online and talk to them for a while.
On that regard, I have a few questions, hope you can explain and make me understand what's right or socially acceptable or not.
My argument is technology should only be used to communicate with people, and be a tool to display your true colours and personality, Not as a device to hide behind and play mind games. It shouldn't be a tool to allow you to be an inconsiderate jerk in saftey and privacy of a chat window on your phone, where no one is allowed or even capable of judging your immature, irresponsible actions and behaviours except the person you're fuckig with inside that chat window. Are you with me so far?
I think when you're using the comfort and safety of the barrier of your phone to trick people into scenarios, (Ie: get them out of their house, shower, dress up, fill up thier tank with gas, to pick you up for a date and cancle last minute) to massively waste their time and energy on you, and ignore them like you don't exists, I'm sorry, but an expaliantion for such behaviour is on you. And yes, dare I say it's a "childish" and immature behaviour. I think you're mixing up "fizzling out" like another (sensible) poster explained above with Ghosting. Those two are totally different things. I'm "guilty"of fizzling out on so many conversations on Tinder, and so are many women fizzling out on me, Ghosting is an entirely different kind of animal. But yet you seem to chalk it all as one stupid thing.
A perfectly fine example of "fizzling out": I was casually chit chatting with a Brazillian tourist on Tinder. And to be honest, I kind of felt sorry for her, her English was quite broken through text, she wasn't exactly a looker, and she seemed very clueless and alone visiting the country. I thought I just share some pleasantries with her, talk to her about what are cool places to go and visit. Didn't want to get too personal. (A tourist guide if you will) After a week of causal chi chatting, our conversation just naturally fizzled off... but about two weeks later, out of the blue on Valentines night, she messaged me. Being Valentines and me having my own plans already, I decided to ignore her, (despite feeling guilty about how lonely this individual may feel on Valentines night in a foreign country, all by herself) I thought it would send her mixed messages if I started yapping with her on Valentines night, since I wasn't romantically interested in her; such actions will only misguide her and get her hopes up for nothing. This is not ghosting, this is simply being proactively considerate about someone's feelings. This scenario is vastly different than my scenario above.
So let's get back to the play by play of how I was treated by this individual. Here is the thing: I strongly believe you should be accountable for your words as much as your actions. After graduallly and naturally conversing with someone for two weeks, you developed a certain tone and understanding with that individual. You get their quirks, their patterns of behaviour etc. This person sold herself as a "humanitarian" someone who stood up for the minorities and people who needed to be heard etc etc. That was honestly one of the more appealing aspects of her personality. She sold me as a decent person who understood the struggle of voiceless people. She wasn't hesitant to show me how Nobel and self righteous her outlook on life is.
Anyway, I was 15 minutes late to pick her up, she said she had to get up early in the morning, it was getting around 8:00pm. I apologized for being late. We decided to postpone the date. That was that.
The next day I sent her a text greeting her, and asking about her day. No response. This was basically a broken pattern from her usual, chatty, daily text messages. I was like ok... let's wait another day. Next day again, no response.
When I finally got her attention, her reasoning was "friend's grandmother's funeral, been consoling her the last two days, she's a very important friend to me, I've been busy"
I'm like okay that's fine, but I figured between your Instagram posts of you relaxing watching Tv with your dog, sipping on drinks the last two days, I though maybe you'd take a minute to reposnd to my text and let me know you wanted to be left alone. She got defensive "I don't need to respond to you"
Ok here is the issue with this picture. "I will accept "I don't need to respond to you" as an answer but I won't accept it after you feel cornered about me questioning your first reason and HOW MUCH OF YOU SAY IS AN HONEST ANSWER? If your ultimate defence is "I don't need to respond to you" why bother with the the consolation of a friend excuse? Two very different reasons. She just displayed me her true colours. Strip away the fat of social media and hiding behind her phone, she just demonstrated that she is inclined to use self pity, and pity for others to avoid being honest with people. That seemed like a natural extension of her character.
That's a major red flag to me, and I had to call her out on it immediately. She didn't like it that I did...So be it.
So, my question is, why aren't we allowed to judge the peronalities of people we meet online? Why is that wrong or a taboo? If I'm looking For a partner, and I sense some dishonesty and flaws in their character, why am I not allow to call them out on it? Why should I let them get away with it with thier silent treatment? Is that okay? I mean they are using these muniplative techniques through technology to mess with me, (I can see right through it) to waste my time, my energy... and most likely continue on to do the same with the next person they meet online.
Since when is it okay to waste people's time and money in any way? Let alone try to control their emotions convineintly through the barrier of technology?
Why is it NOT okay to call out an asshole for being an asshole just because they think they can hide their shittiness behind technology?
The podium is yours my friend.
