not because I think you know what the fuck you're talking about
Okay
Hope you'll read my entire posts and fully address my questions.
You already have done a good job of making me think you are well meaning
/s
You seem to be so confident about what is okay and not okay when it comes to Ignoring people you meet online and talk to them for a while.
Naw, what I have said is you are not entitled to responses from people you never met and barely know. I never implied ghosting was nice or the cool thing to do.
On that regard, I have a few questions, hope you can explain and make me understand what's right or socially acceptable or not.
My argument is technology should only be used to communicate with people, and be a tool to display your true colours and personality, Not as a device to hide behind and play mind games. It shouldn't be a tool to allow you to be an inconsiderate jerk in saftey and privacy of a chat window on your phone, where no one is allowed or even capable of judging your immature, irresponsible actions and behaviours except the person you're fuckig with inside that chat window. Are you with me so far?
Tinder does not exist for one singular purpose so I already have an issue with you premise. And second, your behaviour across any communication channel is tailored to the context of your relationship with that person. Your relationship with a girl on tinder is not the same as your relationship with your sibling through text message for example.
I think when you're using the comfort and safety of the barrier of your phone to trick people into scenarios, (Ie: get them out of their house, shower, dress up, fill up thier tank with gas, to pick you up for a date and cancle last minute) to massively waste their time and energy on you, and ignore them like you don't exists, I'm sorry, but an expaliantion for such behaviour is on you.
You are not the first person to ever be stood up. So the extent to which you are victimizing yourself is unnecessary. I never implied what she did was not shitty or mean spirited. I said I feel for you. However my post also implied your reaction was disgusting. And it was.
And yes, dare I say it's a "childish" and immature behaviour. I think you're mixing up "fizzling out" like another (sensible) poster explained above with Ghosting. Those two are totally different things. I'm "guilty"of fizzling out on so many conversations on Tinder, and so are many women fizzling out on me, Ghosting is an entirely different kind of animal. But yet you seem to chalk it all as one stupid thing.
It's the same thing as far as how you should take it is concerned which is "not seriously".
So let's get back to the play by play of how I was treated by this individual. Here is the thing: I strongly believe you should be accountable for your words as much as your actions.
There is a reason why they say actions speak louder than words. You are gonna have a bad time if you buy into this shit. People need to be held accountable for their words in certain situations like "you said you would submit the project" or "you said you would pick me up so I wouldnt have to walk in the rain". These situations imply relationships that have built up levels of trust, friendship, reciprocitty and most importantly have been confirmed genuine.
This does not however apply for people you barely know. You dont know someone who you have never met. You can't gauge someone through 2 weeks of text. That's why dates are in person and not a text-a-thon. That's why you cant tell if you like someone genuinely u tol you meet them
After graduallly and naturally conversing with someone for two weeks, you developed a certain tone and understanding with that individual. You get their quirks, their patterns of behaviour etc. This person sold herself as a "humanitarian" someone who stood up for the minorities and people who needed to be heard etc etc. That was honestly one of the more appealing aspects of her personality. She sold me as a decent person who understood the struggle of voiceless people. She wasn't hesitant to show me how Nobel and self righteous her outlook on life is.
You were in way too deep man. 2 weeks. You shouldn't be analyzing the intrucacies of how they text. Or truly believeing the persona they give online. You are trying to get dste not go dunpster diving into the contents of her online soul.
Anyway, I was 15 minutes late to pick her up, she said she had to get up early in the morning, it was getting around 8:00pm. I apologized for being late. We decided to postpone the date. That was that.
Be on time next time.
The next day I sent her a text greeting her, and asking about her day. No response. This was basically a broken pattern from her usual, chatty, daily text messages. I was like ok... let's wait another day. Next day again, no response.
This was your clue that she was over it.
When I finally got her attention, her reasoning was "friend's grandmother's funeral, been consoling her the last two days, she's a very important friend to me, I've been busy"
Maybe an excuse. Maybe legit. But certainly a sign that she was over your talking to you.
I'm like okay that's fine, but I figured between your Instagram posts of you relaxing watching Tv with your dog, sipping on drinks the last two days, I though maybe you'd take a minute to reposnd to my text and let me know you wanted to be left alone. She got defensive "I don't need to respond to you"
She got defensive because you escalated for no reason. She wasn't down, whether her reasoning was true or not what she was doing was saying she just had other more relevant things in her life than texting you. And fair enough. You were late to the date and she has onlyntalked to you through text for 2 weeks. You called her a liar. Fine she is a liar. But you were not unaware that you were dropped. You just wanted her to come out and say it for w/e reason. And when she didnt you decided to be a dick about it and press more.
Ok here is the issue with this picture. "I will accept "I don't need to respond to you" as an answer but I won't accept it after you feel cornered about me questioning your first reason and HOW MUCH OF YOU SAY IS AN HONEST ANSWER? If your ultimate defence is "I don't need to respond to you" why bother with the the consolation of a friend excuse? Two very different reasons. She just displayed me her true colours. Strip away the fat of social media and hiding behind her phone, she just demonstrated that she is inclined to use self pity, and pity for others to avoid being honest with people. That seemed like a natural extension of her character.
It could be that or maybe she just wanted to drop you and move on and when you wouldnt go away she didn't want to hurt your feelings with straight rejection. When you became a dick about it she just didnt see the point in being nice about it. Just another perspective for you to consider.
That's a major red flag to me, and I had to call her out on it immediately. She didn't like it that I did...So be it.
You didnt "need" to do anything. She bruised your ego and so you got petty. Came to gaf, screenshotted our responses, posted them to her as a "fuck you bitch" and then threw a tantrum just because she didnt really wanna talk anymore. And you dont even know why nor are you entitled too. You did not need be be like this.
So, my question is, why aren't we allowed to judge the peronalities of people we meet online? Why is that wrong or a taboo?
Dont get it twisted. No one said you cant judge. But what you did was so fucking petty and rude and that's why you are getting shit on.
If I'm looking For a partner, and I sense some dishonesty and flaws in their character, why am I not allow to call them out on it? Why should I let them get away with it with thier silent treatment? Is that okay?
She had already decided you weren't gonna be partners. You know when? When she gave you the silent treatment. You know why it isn't a big deal? Cause she only talked to you for 2 weeks and you never met in person. All this analysis you are pretending to give is irrelevant. She already decided yall were done.
I mean they are using these muniplative techniques through technology to mess with me, (I can see right through it)
You didnt see right through it when you were all pumped for your date so I dunno how you gon act like you're all that after the fact.
to waste my time, my energy... and most likely continue on to do the same with the next person they meet online.
Since when is it okay to waste people's time and money in any way? Let alone try to control their emotions convineintly through the barrier of technology?
It really is not good you took it this personally. You are acting like her life's purpose was to play you. Maybe she was down and she got cold feet and that is all it was? The reaction you gave over text, maybe she made the right choice not meeting you given how badly you reacted. You have it played up like this was malicious. But nothing you have said gives the impression she mislead you. The only thing I get was that she was shitty about the date. What about this situation justifies ending a discussion with "I can do better than you" after never meeting someone?
Why is it NOT okay to call out an asshole for being an asshole just because they think they can hide their shittiness behind technology?
I think they just wanted to disappear and you got petty because your ego was bruised. You think you've analyzed the depths of her soul over a few weeks of texts and no meet ups. That's bizarre. Further more, online dating has dead ends. That is par for course. Sometimes it sucks but you cant over react every time you are slighted. You were over invested and that is the problem. You think she went full bitch because you were in so deep when really she just was lame about canceling a date.
The podium is yours my friend.
You need to take a step back.
" 
