Well at least you got to go on a date, always something. You don't have any old matches? Or is that not okey according to the Tinder-police?
Do you guys swipe right to only waifu-material-looking-girls?
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Well at least you got to go on a date, always something. You don't have any old matches? Or is that not okey according to the Tinder-police?
Do you guys swipe right to only waifu-material-looking-girls?
electricshake
Member
Honestly it's up to you. I didn't really use tinder, but I know you don't have a lot to go on with the profile (unlike say OKC). Some guys on here have had success with 'pizza or sushi?' and similar. Others try to start a gif battle. How are you is a really boring opener, and competition is high on online dating so you need to up your game. No point in spending hours crafting a perfect opening message either.
Also if you're worried about being ghosted after a date, I think suggesting another date isn't a bad shout. No response or some wishy-washy bs means you can move on to the next. But none of this 'do you want to do something at some point?', be specific!
Ultramantaro1
Member
I think every city has a specific 'app scene'. In my case for example, using the same pictures and the same bio, I had 2 matches in a month of using Bumble (neither contacted me, so nothing happened) vs. 8 matches in 3 days on Tinder, leading to 4 text convos, leading up to 1 almost guaranteed date this week, based on how things are shaping up.
But tbh, in my case, I'm only using Tinder to distract myself from the girl I really like. I met her the old fashioned way ( in person, asked for the number) and she seems way to good to be true. We have a date this weekend and I find myself overthinking everything and projecting into the future already, which is guaranteed heartbreak recipe.
Im flirting on Tinder to keep my mind occupied off of her, and I'm actually doing ok with matches and conversations.
But tbh, in my case, I'm only using Tinder to distract myself from the girl I really like. I met her the old fashioned way ( in person, asked for the number) and she seems way to good to be true. We have a date this weekend and I find myself overthinking everything and projecting into the future already, which is guaranteed heartbreak recipe.
Im flirting on Tinder to keep my mind occupied off of her, and I'm actually doing ok with matches and conversations.
Ultramantaro1
Member
I think in those cases, a joke or a question about something random might capture attention. Is there nothing at all in the pics, in the background or something to inquire about ? Or an activity they're doing ?
It may be just as boring, but my go-to is "How was your weekend? Got anything fun going on this week?"
It at least gives them something to work with.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Might work if you do a double date and hook up one of single bros. A double date might actually be a good first date idea ?
That's usually what I work with. Not many results. Probably my own pics.
Sometimes I just ask if I can ask them something. It's super boring but it actually gets the most responses lol. I usually don't actually even have a question.
artsi
Member
If we agreed to that in advance then why not, but dropping it right before the date (which was supposed to be 1-on-1) doesn't sound too good.
My old go-to first message was "Hey, up to much trouble this week/weekend?", which did work quite a bit, but I'm going to start with something different when I get back into dating again.
In some cases I will personalise the first message if something catches my attention, but a lot of the time there's nothing to work with.
In some cases I will personalise the first message if something catches my attention, but a lot of the time there's nothing to work with.
Messofanego
Banned
I'll then ask them about what they're into, and if they're into something I'm into. Like "are you adventurous or thrill seeking?". Makes for good conversation, brings up stuff about travelling or stories about adrenaline junkie kind of activities.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I'd bail on that too, shows a lack of independence and confidence. But on the other hand it might be for safety if she's meeting strangers from the internet. I can't see it being a natural date with a chaperone either way.
I have some girls I talk to a bit, but not as much as the girl from date.
I'm just so surprised since the date went great and she enjoyed herself and she was talking about a second date and all. It's just weird, I guess. I'm not sure how to feel now.
Krauser Kat
Member
3 girls wanted to do something with me tonight. i got a stye in my eye on saturday and i still look like i got punched in the face come this morning. So i picked a girl and planned a date but just gave her a heads up that my eye is little swollen.
Advice. Do i put a little concealer to take the redness out of my eye or go all natural.
Advice. Do i put a little concealer to take the redness out of my eye or go all natural.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Menaji Camouflage Concealer. Works wonders for redness and razor burn. But yes, there's no shame in using concealer.
I'm all about equality. If women can wear makeup, we can too.
LucidMomentum
Member
Don't take it personally. It happens.
I need to ask my female friends if they've done this and why they do so. I'm guessing it's just being polite and nice. Or did they just reflect on the date and it wasn't as great as they believed it to be at that moment? I wouldn't dare mention a second date if I didn't feel chemistry.
ErrorMacro
Member
It's kinda shitty when that happens, but it is not personal.
If there is something I've learned from Tinder is to never create too much expectations based on the first date, even if the first date was amazing.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It depends. Remember that everyone's dating multiple people. What's appealing in one moment is, based upon rank-ordered preferences, less appealing in the next.
DoomGyver
Member
I'm so tired of getting numbers and being immediately ignored. I approached this girl, spoke for about 5 minutes and she seems interested. So I ask her for her number so we can grab lunch and she doesn't even hesitate. Great, right? I text her one time the next day and I get no response, call her one time 2 days after the text and get voicemail. How hard is it to just say no, thanks - i'm not interested, or even lie and say you have a bf. Fuck'em, this 30 yr old guy just has to move on to the next.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Its kinda like the ghosting discussion from earlier. Enough girls have had to deal with guys insulting them, threatening them or becoming assholes when rejected that they won't do it to your face, to protect themselves. They'll give you the number and then just never reply...
Its part of the game, just gotta live with it.
She did say no, just in a roundabout way that avoids direction rejection. There are some crazy-ass men out there who don't take rejection well. If she just met you, she has no idea how sane you are. Don't take it as a slight against yourself, just realize that you're paying for the sins of others.
Yeah. This is the shittiest of realities but that's what I need to remind myself as well.
Literally anything else that shows you actually looked at her profile and have genuine interest. If it's a site like OKcupid reference a hobbie of hers, if it's Tinder, check her often linked Instagram for travel pics and ask her about that, if it's just a profile pic, say something about the color of her hair, it seriously doesn't matter what exactly you say. Start with a joke if nothing else comes to mind. Just write a message she knows you wrote for her and you didn't just spam 100 profiles with. She likely gets dozens of "Hey, how are you!"s every day.
ZackieChan
Member
Meh, I send a cute gif (the winking animated hamburger drawing) and say "hi 😉". Gets a decent amount of replies. I can't be bothered to do anything more.
OMG YOU'RE BACK
ZackieChan
Member
I kind of want to be permabanned, except for this thread 😥
Gotdatmoney
Member
Self control friend. You missed a fantastic saga, don't leave us in trying times.
ZackieChan
Member
I have none.
I was with you the whole time during that craziness, though. Surely you felt my presence?
I don't blame you.
The quicker and less time wasted before actually meeting someone, the better.
And welcome back by the way!
I'm not sure I'd use the word fantastic, but they were certainly trying times.
Damerman
Member
dont double text. Its so easy to move on and find another.
Gotdatmoney
Member
It wasn't the same though 😢
It was pretty amusing ya gotta admit.
I love happy stories like this. Congratulations!
Fake edit: Just confirmed lunch with a girl I met in January. We're just friends. I'm just looking to have a no pressure lunch with good female company at this point.
Disagree. One more text (and ONLY one more text) is not going to kill you. If no response after that though, yeah move on.
I've gotten dates from double texts before. As long as you're not a needy "y u no respon?" guy it's okay.
ZackieChan
Member
Yeah, what have you got to lose?
Possibly your dignity, but I'd rather get a date...
Multiple texts when I'm doing something else stresses me the fuck out. Just hearing those multiple buzzes/rings triggers some anxiety in me. So annoying.
congrats!!!
Yeah, it does for me too. It's my SO's biggest vice... he just loves sending 5 texts straight and it drives me insane. WE'RE AT WORK, STOP IT. He always manages to spam it when I'm in a meeting or training someone too... Bah.
He managed to hide it for several months too, so I was too invested once he started! Jerk.
DJ Lushious
Member
Online dating question. Is there a good hardfast rule as to when to ask to meet in person? How many messages? Or is it just the vibe? I always ask for coffee dates, 'cause I don't want to get murdered.
Give them your number instead. It takes a bit of the edge off of a potential creep/stalker/etc and they get to decide if/how/when they reach out to you
stn
Member
Doesn't matter. Just say something funny - anything, really. She'll reply to practically whatever you write if she's into your pic(s).
I always interpret this as a I'm not into you, basically. Good on you for not having that, keep sticking to your guns.artsi said:
Never do this. Why ask permission? You don't want to look like you lack confidence before you've even started.Astral said:
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yup,me too and more
often when my phone is on charge and I have to walk across the room check/reply go back where I was and then get another text with a question that could have been asked in just one text.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
fuck you guys, like I'm not even here.��
Of course you should see how the vibe is, after a decent amount of meshing and getting to know each other...and ask at a peak of a good conversation, when she's doing most of the texting/talking... Keep her hanging, don't ask when the convo has died down...
It may come off rude but, cut a good conversation short.."Hey listen I gotta get going right now but.. what do you say we meet up for a coffee this weekend, I'm free Sunday." (Granted you say this on a Friday, but not on a Monday)
Give her at least two days notice for a date so...
1) She doesn't think you're desperate and want to meet up immediately
2) You have a busy schedule and not some chump that could be available at any given time..
3) give her enough time to sleep on it, and mentally prepare to meet a stranger in person. (guess same as number 1...Don't make her feel rushed)
Having said that, don't give her like a week's notice, ie: Plan on Monday to meet upcoming Sunday... It's going to be five days of keeping her expectations of you high, and her wanting to talk to you via text (or phone) more than you care to chat.. leave all the interesting stuff for the in person date, if you chat with her every day for five days straight AFTER planning a date, the excitement and anticipation will not be as strong from her.
In a nutshell, the sooner you sit down and get to know each other in person, the sooner you'll know if it will work out for real, and the better for both of you.
Make sure you pick a day, you're free and available though, and a location where you can easily make it, (on time) local cafe.... I learned that lesson, I do cancel a lot, most of my date fails are for canceling or agreeing to meet them in their neck of the woods, which most often prove to be a little too far for me to venture to...
TangerineCloud
Banned
You guys ever pushed through shitty text convos with a woman just because you were really attracted to her? How'd that turn out when you met?
Gotdatmoney
Member
Assumed you were peacing out haha. But chyo the more the merrier.
In regards to what? Looks, desireability, career? Can't really comment if we dunno what the issue is.
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