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[MadSexual]

It might be hard to hear, but maybe it's time to leave the ball in her court. Tell her that you want to hang out but you realize she's busy and tell her, if you want to hang out, let me know when is a good time. Then just ghost. Let her come to you, and if the connection was as strong as you believe it to be, then she will make time for you. Otherwise, you're better off finding someone who will make the time.

Thanks. Frankly, that isn't hard to hear at all because it's exactly what I've been meaning to accomplish. I'm definitely at that point where I have new energy and confidence and I don't want it to be wasted in a void. If she's into it, I'm there. But I can't get trapped waiting for a convenient time to find out I should have forgotten her.

Funny how it's hard to find the words when you're in the situation. I've already said everything in your example to her, but all in the wrong order. I think that will get me there. Thanks again.

 

[Astral]

I wish I was tall and beautiful. Like a Michelangelo sculpture.

 

[LucidMomentum]

I wish I was tall and beautiful.

I wish I was a baller.

 

[N.Domixis]

I saw a gigantic pile of paperwork in her living room when she invited me in. I do believe her when she says she's busy.

I always said I was busy studying because I was to shy to go hang out with people during my first 2 years of college. At least I got As in all my classes lol.

 

[Makonero]

Thanks. Frankly, that isn't hard to hear at all because it's exactly what I've been meaning to accomplish. I'm definitely at that point where I have new energy and confidence and I don't want it to be wasted in a void. If she's into it, I'm there. But I can't get trapped waiting for a convenient time to find out I should have forgotten her.

Funny how it's hard to find the words when you're in the situation. I've already said everything in your example to her, but all in the wrong order. I think that will get me there. Thanks again.

No problem. It always helps to have an outside perspective. That's what we're here for!

 

[ZackieChan]

I wish I was a baller.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala

I'd get so many chicks

 

[Ghostshark]

That's the brush off line, way way too common reason given here for not arranging a 2nd date. There is no way that all your free time for the foreseeable future is prebooked with homework.
At the start of the year there was a girl that brushed of a GAF member here because she was preparing for exams, for the rest of the year! In January!!

She lent you a comic that she wants back, I'd say you've been friendzoned.

I appreciate your perspective. Luckily for me, she just asked if I wanted our next date to be a movie night, possibly this weekend. I wouldn't be crushed if she wanted to be friends, but I'm quickly learning that every person is different, and that I'm overthinking everything. "Rules of dating" don't seem to really be that important.

 

[always crazy bacon]

I appreciate your perspective. Luckily for me, she just asked if I wanted our next date to be a movie night, possibly this weekend. I wouldn't be crushed if she wanted to be friends, but I'm quickly learning that every person is different, and that I'm overthinking everything. "Rules of dating" don't seem to really be that important.

That's great news. The "rules" are more guidelines than being hard and fast. like you say everyone is different, glad this one seems to be working out for you.

 

[Krauser Kat]

i have been trying to step back a little from dating but a whole bunch of people i messaged before, started messaging me back and wanting to hang out.

I feel like costanza.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Damnit, I've been seeing this girl for less than two weeks and it's already the second time she wants to have "a talk". We get along well otherwise but this feels symptomatic of deeper issues on her side.

Should I bail?

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Damnit, I've been seeing this girl for less than two weeks and it's already the second time she wants to have "a talk". We get along well otherwise but this feels symptomatic of deeper issues on her side.

Should I bail?

It's not a good sign, no. Are you exclusive? (You shouldn't be at this point.)

 

[gaiages]

Hey maybe it's an exclusivity talk!

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

It's not a good sign, no. Are you exclusive? (You shouldn't be at this point.)

She wants us to be. Technically I have been, if only because there hasn't been anyone else I've been interested in dating over the last 2 weeks.

I told her I'd agree to meet and talk about whatever it is that's bothering her if she can explain to me how there's so much to talk about after 2 (fucking) weeks. Think she got the message.

Hey maybe it's an exclusivity talk!

It is not. It's a "I have worries/concerns" talk.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I wish I was a baller.

"Coulda been a ball player but I'm still ballin" - Rick Ross

Now go forth with your new wisdom.

She wants us to be. Technically I have been, if only because there hasn't been anyone else I've been interested in dating over the last 2 weeks.

I told her I'd agree to meet and talk about whatever it is that's bothering her if she can explain to me how there's so much to talk about after 2 (fucking) weeks. Think she got the message.

It is not. It's a "I have worries/concerns" talk.

Just see what she has to say. It's 2 weeks. You don't lose anything by just seeing what's up with an open mind. If it ends it ends. Just don't agree to any dumb shit.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Damnit, I've been seeing this girl for less than two weeks and it's already the second time she wants to have "a talk". We get along well otherwise but this feels symptomatic of deeper issues on her side.

Should I bail?

I know the fear that strikes deep into a mans heart when she says "We need to talk (about our relationship)". Most of the time it's nothing more than her insecurity, but the other times are a nightmare.

Asked for "the talk" 2 times in a 2 week relationship? Bail the fuck out and don't look back. A great girlfriend will never lay this on you*.

*well, maybe once or twice once you have a few miles on the relationship clock.

 

[ZackieChan]

i have been trying to step back a little from dating but a whole bunch of people i messaged before, started messaging me back and wanting to hang out.

I feel like costanza.

When it rains, it pours. Sometimes there aren't enough days in the week.

Sometimes I can't get a date to save my life. Things looking good right now, but I'm traveling 80% of the next month.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Well, she just reacted very harshly to my suggestion that 2 weeks in we shouldn't be having this many talks about concerns about the future and where this is going. Accused me of just using her for sex.

Looks like this is where I get off this train.
Was (mostly) fun while it lasted.

 

[Makonero]

Well, she just reacted very harshly to my suggestion that 2 weeks in we shouldn't be having this many talks about concerns about the future and where this is going. Accused me of just using her for sex.

Looks like this is where I get off this train. Was (mostly) fun while it lasted.

Yep, time to move on.

 

[ZackieChan]

Well, she just reacted very harshly to my suggestion that 2 weeks in we shouldn't be having this many talks about concerns about the future and where this is going. Accused me of just using her for sex.

Looks like this is where I get off this train.
Was (mostly) fun while it lasted.

Congrats on the

Spoiler

using her for

sex.gif

 

[Messofanego]

I wish I was tall and beautiful. Like a Michelangelo sculpture.

You want the small dick, too?

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

She's a good person but doesn't seem to have a good handle on her emotions. I'd recommend a shrink or support network but don't think she'd respond well to hearing that from me. Shame because I believe they would benefit her.

Also sucks to think her take from all this will probably be "further proof that all men are assholes". I went through "the talk" with her the first time and it was a 2 hour meeting followed by 2 days of texting and phone calls for what amounted to her "not being sure where this is going". After 1 fucking week. Not doing a repeat of that.

 

[gaiages]

You want the small dick, too?

Small by GAF standards, but an average cock by the rest of the world.

She's a good person but doesn't seem to have a good handle on her emotions. I'd recommend a shrink or support network but don't think she'd respond well to hearing that from me.

Shame because I believe they would benefit her. Also sucks to think her take from all this will probably be "further proof that all men are assholes". I went through "the talk" with her the first time and it was a 2 hour meeting followed by 2 days of texting and phone calls for what amounted to her "not being sure where this is going". After 1 fucking week. Not doing a repeat of that.

Don't worry about her and her problems, she'll have to figure that crap out on her own. If her take away from her emotional issues is "all men are assholes", that is clearly something she needs to work on.

 

[Ozorov]

She's a good person but doesn't seem to have a good handle on her emotions. I'd recommend a shrink or support network but don't think she'd respond well to hearing that from me. Shame because I believe they would benefit her.

Also sucks to think her take from all this will probably be "further proof that all men are assholes". I went through "the talk" with her the first time and it was a 2 hour meeting followed by 2 days of texting and phone calls for what amounted to her "not being sure where this is going". After 1 fucking week. Not doing a repeat of that.

Lock your door.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Also sucks to think her take from all this will probably be "further proof that all men are assholes".

Always sucks when guys and girls go down the path of demonizing the opposite sex. Especially since 99% of the time it's an internal problem and not the world out to get you

 

[Ozorov]

So what start lines do you guys use? If theres nothing special in her pictures that I can ask about, just a great smile. But that is maybe too cliche to open with?

I've been out for dating for a while because different reasons. It's like I've forgot how you do hah.

 

[GK86]

If there is nothing special in her photos/profile, out of left field type of question (who wins in a battle, space pirates or robots?) or if you are on Tinder, send a gif.

 

[Llyranor]

Ask for her midichlorian count

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

If you're both adults looking for a serious relationship a simple "hi, you seem interesting. My name is XXX, what's yours?" is often enough to get her to check your profile. After that she'll respond if she's interested.

This method is most effective if you have a well written and intriguing profile, of course.

 

[Ozorov]

If you're both adults looking for a serious relationship a simple "hi, you seem interesting. My name is XXX, what's yours?" is often enough to get her to check your profile. After that she'll respond if she's interested.

This method is most effective if you have a well written and intriguing profile, of course.

It's over Tinder so we matched. I know her name and age. She just has a emoji as in her profile. I'll go with a gif

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

It's over Tinder so we matched. I know her name and age. She just has a emoji as in her profile. I'll go with a gif

I see. Haven't used Tinder so didn't know it works that way. Best of luck!!

 

[Ozorov]

I see. Haven't used Tinder so didn't know it works that way. Best of luck!!

Thanks! And good luck with your next one also.

 

[Ashby]

There's no way I can turn a sales lead into a romantic opportunity... right?

 

[WolfeTone]

There's no way I can turn a sales lead into a romantic opportunity... right?

If it backfires horribly, is there a chance you could lose your job or get a reputation in the industry? Any non-zero chance would be too high for me.

 

[Ashby]

If it backfires horribly, is there a chance you could lose your job or get a reputation in the industry? Any non-zero chance would be too high for me.

Just a cute girl with LinkedIn profile I spoke to on the phone once. Mostly just a fun thought exercise if any of you guys could come up with an idea for how to approach such a scenario and somehow make it work. I'm definitely not going for it haha

 

[Count Dookkake]

Oh, yes. A fun thought exercise!

 

[Ashby]

Oh, yes. A fun thought exercise!

Like the episode of Seinfeld where George and Jerry have a meeting of the minds over how Jerry could switch from one roommate to another. Making the impossible possible!

 

[WolfeTone]

Just a cute girl with LinkedIn profile I spoke to on the phone once. Mostly just a fun thought exercise if any of you guys could come up with an idea for how to approach such a scenario and somehow make it work. I'm definitely not going for it haha

I think you should call her back. You still have her number right? No better yet, text her saying that you want to explore a possible business opportunity. She'll remember you obviously and respond back right away. Whatever you do, do not give her the impression that you're into her romantically.

Invite her to meet after texting back and forth for 6 weeks and getting to know her. Go on at least 5 extremely platonic non-date hangouts before coming back to ask GAF whether or not you have a girlfriend and express your concern that you have not held her hand, hugged, kissed or slept with her. Decide that's it's best to remain her friend and wait for the right moment.

After 4 years, you decide that it's time to finally make your move, but that you want to do it in a grandiose way. Write her a crown of sonnets in which you express your undying love for her. She will obviously divorce her husband and leave her kids behind in order to be with you, the guy who she's loved since that phonecall all those years ago.

 

[Ashby]

See, you cracked it.

 

[Astral]

You want the small dick, too?

He's a grower bro.

 

[Mathaou]

I've been dating this girl for a while and been seeing her almost every day (same college) and sometimes I struggle for something to talk about. This wouldn't usually bother me but she says a large part of why she likes me is because I'm funny so I'm pressured to make her laugh. Is the solution to see her less to "recharge" so to speak?

 

[WolfeTone]

I've been dating this girl for a while and been seeing her almost every day (same college) and sometimes I struggle for something to talk about. This wouldn't usually bother me but she says a large part of why she likes me is because I'm funny so I'm pressured to make her laugh. Is the solution to see her less to "recharge" so to speak?

Maybe see her less for a bit, but try not to feel so much pressure around her to be a certain way. If you're dating this girl you should try and relax and be yourself. You can't sustain a relationship with someone if you're constantly under pressure to be 'on'.

Be yourself. Unless you're lame, in which case, don't be yourself, be cool.

 

[Ozorov]

Maybe see her less for a bit, but try not to feel so much pressure around her to be a certain way. If you're dating this girl you should try and relax and be yourself. You can't sustain a relationship with someone if you're constantly under pressure to be 'on'.

Be yourself. Unless you're lame, in which case, don't be yourself, be cool.

hahah

 

[TangerineCloud]

Just asked a woman out. Waiting for her to text back like

 

[Count Dookkake]

Yet another advantage of real life.

 

[Insane Metal]

I've been talking to this girl for a few days and she's fine, pretty and all. But she is destroyed from a failed relationship and she's so sensitive to any joke or sth. Idk what to do. At the moment I'm just being a friend to her as I know there's no way a relationship will come from someone in her condition, but it's hard to know what to say to her.

To make it clear, yes I would like to ask her out but not now.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Recommend therapy and go about your business.

EDIT: Oof at that stealth edit last line. Reconsider. There are plenty of undamaged fish in the sea.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Yet another advantage of real life.

Indeed. I've mainly stuck with online dating out of anxiety, but I've been finding myself more and more disillusioned with it as of late. Thinking of just taking some chances in the real world. *shrug*

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Indeed. I've mainly stuck with online dating out of anxiety, but I've been finding myself more and more disillusioned with it as of late. Thinking of just taking some chances in the real world. *shrug*

I feel the same, but it's mostly because I look better IRL than I do in pictures. Hell, now that I think about it, I've turned down ... 3 girls the weekend before last, as well as one girl last weekend. 2 of them were lookers, but I was waiting to meet my ex/FWB/who knows. (We're hosting board game night soon, guys.)

I think I'm just too lazy for online dating at this point. If girls message me, I may respond, but otherwise. They're not responding to my artfully crafted messages this time, and I find that weird. Can probably tell my heart isn't in it.

 

[Ozorov]

How long do you wait until you ask the girl out / if they wanna meet up Sometime?
If its over these chat/dating-apps

 

[ZackieChan]

He's a grower bro.

Looks like he's already rock hard to me. Poor guy.

Just asked a woman out. Waiting for her to text back like

Go out and do something awesome. Climb something, learn something, eat something weird you never ate before.
Turn your phone to silent/no vibrate. Suck the marrow of life, then check your phone later. If she replied, good - get it boy. Tell her you were busy doing the awesome thing you were doing.
If not, you did something cool anyway. Hopefully you met a cool girl there.