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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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GK86

Homeland Security Fail
How long do you wait until you ask the girl out / if they wanna meet up Sometime?
If its over these chat/dating-apps

I tend to ask them out within 10-15 back and forth messages. Not a hard rule since each interaction is different. Plus it's a good idea to try and get away from the platform as fast as possible.
 

Prologue

Member
I tend to ask them out within 10-15 back and forth messages. Not a hard rule since each interaction is different. Plus it's a good idea to try and get away from the platform as fast as possible.

what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?
 
what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?

I mean, maybe they do. But you shouldn't give it the time of day. Either be friends with them because you want to be friends, or be honest with yourself and your desires and move on. Currently in this situation with the girl I met last night. I'm fine being friends, but if she wants more, I'm game. Either way I'm happy. But I sure as hell ain't waiting for her.
 

Leeness

Member
what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?

tumblr_mbhss5KQ2n1ror6v2.gif


This is always me
but forever

Why not just be friends for a bit?
 

DoomGyver

Member
As a guy I definitely find it easier to be friends first, if she's interested in something more she will drop hints. If she's not, then atleast you made a new friend.
 

Mory Dunz

Member
what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?

But if you want to date her, make that known. Then if the friends first thing comes up, act according to how you want to play it

but don't avoid making an initial move or asking her out because she might this or that.
 
what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?

Nope attraction does not work that way. I'd say that translates as "You're a decent guy and I like the attention you give me. Let me make a potential relationship a carrot on a stick so you keep giving me that attention to validate myself and at any time you try to move things forward I'll keep you in your place as we are just friends/I'm still not ready".

Anything that is not a hard yes, IS A NO.
 
tumblr_mbhss5KQ2n1ror6v2.gif


This is always me
but forever

Why not just be friends for a bit?

Because they don't want to be friends. They want a romantic partner. If I go to Burger King, I want a Whopper, not something from McDonald's. "Why not try it?" doesn't cut it. It's not being honest with yourself.

Similarly, if you're looking for friends, going on Tinder and other "dating" apps isn't the way to do that. It's counterproductive.

This Pun needs a lot of love!

<3
 

Salamando

Member
This is always me
but forever

Why not just be friends for a bit?
Tried being "just friends" with girls I've met via OKC. Fucking confusing. We're hanging out one-on-one, getting dinner and doing stuff around town...like they're dates...but they're not. And since we met via a dating site, I don't know if we're staying just friends or if its more of an audition.

I do have platonic female friends, but they were either met in a group setting, or we dated and just didn't work as a couple.
This Pun needs a lot of love!

I'm not giving anything rock hard "lots of love"...
 

bluethree

Member
Using dating sites for friends first is stupid. It's fine if it doesn't work out and there's a mutual interest in friendship though.

It's especially frustrating in Japan because some people really do use sites like Tinder to meet foreign friends - a gay acquaintance of mine, for example, met a guy on Tinder and was completely baffled when the guy was surprised at his sexuality. Then again "language exchange" can also be code for "let's fuck", so it's a minefield I hate navigating.

My very first Tinder experiences in Tokyo were with people who genuinely wanted only friendship. It was pretty confusing and frustrating.
 

War Peaceman

You're a big guy.
Have been having a string of good first dates. Two previous ones went well, although the last one she was a bit too quiet and doesn't respond to texts as much so I'm guessing it's a no. Today's first date was one of the best I've had. Spent a couple of hours chatting at a hipster-y coffee place. Then went to the main attraction which was the escape room in Nottingham (Escapalogic, we chose the Curio room). It was a lot of fun figuring out puzzles together in gothic fashion. First time doing such an activity. Had Turkish lunch afterwards. I made a couple of flirty remarks, she seemed to like them. Honestly, a bit too much eye contact haha! We are so matched on interests (thrill-seeking, rock climbing, travelling, horror movies) and our goals in life. Let's see what happens. Got three others to meet.

Good to hear positive impressions in here. What's the Nottingham escapology like? Worth it?
 
It's especially frustrating in Japan because some people really do use sites like Tinder to meet foreign friends

I've run into this a lot on dating apps in China. That and girls wanting to have an English teacher. I just respond directly I am here for a girlfriend not a friend as I have lot's of those already and I am not a free English teacher. Block, delete move on.
 

artsi

Member
I match every now and then with some 18 / 19 year old girls who aren't probably exactly relationship material, but could be a bit of fun in between the serious dates.

But as I find out, I'm old and don't know how to talk with them anymore lol.
 

gaiages

Banned
I match every now and then with some 18 / 19 year old girls who aren't probably exactly relationship material, but could be a bit of fun in between the serious dates.

But as I find out, I'm old and don't know how to talk with them anymore lol.

Just speak in all the latest memes
 

No_Style

Member
Just speak in all the latest memes

DrewScanlonBlinking.gif all day. Or is that done already? I'm not as with it as I used to be.

Anyways, here's something weird:

A cute 24 year old and I have been messaging back and forth for a while. She's too young for my tastes but I thought it would be fun. Did a bit of teasing on how I don't normally engage with girls younger than 26. Long story short, she suddenly dumps a whole incoherent paragraph about religion, emotions, supernatural stuff, good vs evil and a Ouija board.

Me: DrewScanlonBlinking.gif
 
lol at agreeing to meet up to be friends.

They should call you Mr Diarrthea, because that is the softest shit ever.

I'll be friends with an ex or a girl I meet in IRL, but this is ridiculous.
 

Ozorov

Member
DrewScanlonBlinking.gif all day. Or is that done already? I'm not as with it as I used to be.

Anyways, here's something weird:

A cute 24 year old and I have been messaging back and forth for a while. She's too young for my tastes but I thought it would be fun. Did a bit of teasing on how I don't normally engage with girls younger than 26. Long story short, she suddenly dumps a whole incoherent paragraph about religion, emotions, supernatural stuff, good vs evil and a Ouija board.

Me: DrewScanlonBlinking.gif
Wtf :D
 
I match every now and then with some 18 / 19 year old girls who aren't probably exactly relationship material, but could be a bit of fun in between the serious dates.

But as I find out, I'm old and don't know how to talk with them anymore lol.

How old are you?

I find that as I get older, that language barrier becomes an asset.

It's not like they don't know that you are old. It's what they want.
 
DrewScanlonBlinking.gif all day. Or is that done already? I'm not as with it as I used to be.

Anyways, here's something weird:

A cute 24 year old and I have been messaging back and forth for a while. She's too young for my tastes but I thought it would be fun. Did a bit of teasing on how I don't normally engage with girls younger than 26. Long story short, she suddenly dumps a whole incoherent paragraph about religion, emotions, supernatural stuff, good vs evil and a Ouija board.

Me: DrewScanlonBlinking.gif
Copy paste it here lol
 
what about women who want to be friends for a while before going out? Thats total bs or a real concern?
I can't tell ya what to do my man, just base it off my perspective. No. Tell her no. If you're into her, tell her you'd like to go out with her. I personally have only two good friends that are girls that I genuinely hang out with regularly. If I hang out with someone of the opposite sex on several occasions, something will generally happen or I will cut off contact and not bother.

I still have plenty of friends that are girls, but not ones I actively hang out with.. since as I said that generally leads into something (which includes some of those girls that are friends). A lot of people are different and different things work for different people, but to me it's a terrible idea to be friends with someone you're into. Just awful. I couldn't do it, but then again I've forward/up front when it comes to this stuff. :\

gl
 

Ashby

Member
I mean, I do match with girls that are cute but it's like some monkey paw shit where they're always at least like 40 miles away. Meanwhile all my local matches are unfailingly not hot.
 

Galang

Banned
On the topic of meeting friends over apps... it's possible, but it's insanely difficult from my experience. As someone who used to be completely friendless 3 years ago, I started using apps to make strictly friends without benefits or any attachments. I tried to message mostly profiles that also seemed to genuinely want friends as well. It went well at first, but out of the 20 guys I've met, more than half of them either confessed they liked me or made sexual advancements. ONE however did turn out to be a good friend and as a result of him I became friends with his friends and now I have a group of friends for the first time in over a decade. This one friend has never been inappropriate at all either and is now happily in a long term relationship. I think most people on apps have the same goal regardless of what they say.
 

Makonero

Member
On the whole friends thing, the only time I've hung out with a girl I met on a dating site purely platonically was when I was living overseas. Making friends in a foreign country is always hard, but having her around (she's a huge nerd, so we went to all the nerdy movies together) was a huge help. We're still friends and occasionally connect to talk about Black Mirror or other stuff.

There are times and places for that kind of connection, but I definitely am on dating sites to date.
 

No_Style

Member
I agree with the majority here that going on dating sites for friends is weird. I've converted two dates that didn't work out into friends but I sought them out as more than friends first.

Copy paste it here lol

Unfortunately, I deleted the conversation. I pondered pushing forward for a day but deleted it this morning after getting hung up on that Ouija board. Haha...
 
Speaking of making friends on dating sites...

When I first started online dating I somehow matched with a girl already in a relationship, but I just sent her a message anyway and we had a good conversation. Met up once but eventually ceased contact.

A few years later I had gotten out of a relationship and was back on the dating sites, and matched with a girl. We exchanged a few messages, and when we traded names, she mentioned how my name sounded familiar (I have a fairly unique name). It was at that point that I realized that it was the same girl I met years before.

Needless to say we didn't exchange any more messages.
 
Speaking of making friends on dating sites...

When I first started online dating I somehow matched with a girl already in a relationship, but I just sent her a message anyway and we had a good conversation. Met up once but eventually ceased contact.

A few years later I had gotten out of a relationship and was back on the dating sites, and matched with a girl. We exchanged a few messages, and when we traded names, she mentioned how my name sounded familiar (I have a fairly unique name). It was at that point that I realized that it was the same girl I met years before.

Needless to say we didn't exchange any more messages.

And then banged...?
 

Kopite

Member
Met this girl 2 days back and had a really nice chat with her. I had to rush off so I asked her a number and she gave it to me after saying, "I don't normally give out my number." Anyway I texted her and asked her out to get some coffee.

Here's the question, she replies saying that she'd love to hangout but she doesn't do dates.

Not sure how to respond to that, should I specify that I want to go on a date, not hangout? Or should I just go hangout with her and if I think we have a connection ask her on a date then?
 
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