eqqsquizitine
Member
Its not that exciting usually. People I've encountered like this just tend to be the dumbass ultra edgelord types instead of actual nazis.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Its not that exciting usually. People I've encountered like this just tend to be the dumbass ultra edgelord types instead of actual nazis.
EchoChamber
Member
I would have swiped right too, hopefully she doesn't really believe that hahah
Until recently, dating was the only anxiety inducing aspect of my life (the other was starting a new job) I overcame my constant worry about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing and overanalyzing each and every message, emoji and delay in response. I learned not to take every rejection as soul crushing attack at my self worth. And you know how I did it? By dating. Earlier this month, a girl I really liked broke up with me after what I thought was a fantastic month. It left me in a pathetic state of worthlessness as well but thanks to friends and this thread, I learned to recover. I wasn't happy with the outcome and was tired of feeling sad for myself so I got back out there. I'm certain I will fall into the same loop of worry, stress and loss of sleep when I meet someone I really like again but now I feel I'm better equipped to deal with outcomes.
The great thing about forums/threads like this is that he is presented with two viewpoints. You shared yours and I shared mine.
I worked around this by making most of the photos on my profile memes and making my profile about what kind of music I liked.
direct_quote
Member
Welp all my options dried up so rip me. Still single after 5 months sigh...
GuitarGuruu
Member
Just wanted to post and ask how do you keep striving forward after a failed attempt?
Just seems like the past couple flings I've had with some girls were going places and then just crashed and burned. How to keep going forward when it is so much effort for ultimately something that will diminish.
Just seems like the past couple flings I've had with some girls were going places and then just crashed and burned. How to keep going forward when it is so much effort for ultimately something that will diminish.
I am taking a break and building friendships with the girls I have met and remained on good terms with. Taking this time to just enjoy the company of people without fear of failure.
No kidding.
Anxiety has plagued me and made me a late bloomer when it comes to dating, but I'm not going to let my OCD get in the way of things I want to do in life.
I overthink thinks beyond compare, but as bizarre as it may sound, there are some advantages to this.
For example I don't look desperate for this reason and I've also been told I have a ”smooth" demeanour.
I've managed to slowly make it work to my advantage, even if it has taken a while.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Yikes, that's just looking for trouble. She stupid ... keep us in loop there if she matches, eh mate?
always crazy bacon
Banned
You keep going, keep working on personal improvement. Learn from failures as they help you as much as successes. Getting a partner is not the end of the story where you get to live happily ever after. There's a whole load of challenges after that to deal with and if you can't get to stage one without giving up you have no chance to work through the usual relationship problems that occur later.
Every single failure brings you one step FORWARD to the person you want, NOT a step back.
I had my first date of things being on the other foot as In they was into me but I wasn't in to them (psychically, I think) and it sucks just as much to turn someone down.
The outing was awesome, would be just the kind of person I would want to get to know more but there was just something missing - I told them straight up at the end of the date because that is what I would want someone to do to me rather than being messed around, I really think I did the right thing but I would really like to speak to this person more but I feel like I am being unfair. I may be too honest for my own good.
The outing was awesome, would be just the kind of person I would want to get to know more but there was just something missing - I told them straight up at the end of the date because that is what I would want someone to do to me rather than being messed around, I really think I did the right thing but I would really like to speak to this person more but I feel like I am being unfair. I may be too honest for my own good.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Late but just wanted to address this.
No, getting burned does not inspire people. If you feel you aren't ready to date that is fine. But there are billions of woman on this planet, "woman hate guys with anxiety/depression" is a projection. There are millions of people with depression/anxiety who date, are married or are in happy relationships.
I'm not gonna tell you I know the ultimate solution to your problem. But I will say that "quit and be miserable" is literally not the only path forward.
I'm assuming that's related to the new "smart photos" system.
Your best pic becomes your first.
Clay Davis
Member
Hi gaf, how's everyone doing?
I was hoping for some feedback. Things are going well with the girl I'm currently seeing, we're becoming closer and we're spending a lot of time together. She floated the idea of a weekend away a few weeks ago, but it fell by the wayside due to work commitments and other issues, but she mentioned it again and I said I'd like to plan it but now I'm at a crossroads and I don't don't know what to do.
Should I be extravagant and book us a weekend away abroad or is it too early into the relationship to spend so much money away? A friend suggested we go for a weekend spa weekend in the country, which does sound nice and is much more sensible in terms of pricing, but I'm worried that might come off as boring and show a lack of imagination.
I guess what I'm asking is, should I take a risk and go all out or be more sensible until things become much more serious?
I was hoping for some feedback. Things are going well with the girl I'm currently seeing, we're becoming closer and we're spending a lot of time together. She floated the idea of a weekend away a few weeks ago, but it fell by the wayside due to work commitments and other issues, but she mentioned it again and I said I'd like to plan it but now I'm at a crossroads and I don't don't know what to do.
Should I be extravagant and book us a weekend away abroad or is it too early into the relationship to spend so much money away? A friend suggested we go for a weekend spa weekend in the country, which does sound nice and is much more sensible in terms of pricing, but I'm worried that might come off as boring and show a lack of imagination.
I guess what I'm asking is, should I take a risk and go all out or be more sensible until things become much more serious?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You're overthinking it. It's the company, not the destination. There's nothing wrong with a weekend spa getaway -- that sounds really nice, actually. There's similarly no reason to book anything extravagant, unless both of you have consistently said things like "I really want to see Iceland" and there's an amazing deal you find, at which point you mention this to her rather then book anything yourself.
Trips require both parties to schedule around them. But it's great that you're at that stage! Now don't self-sabotage it, please!
Ultramantaro1
Member
Other than music or books, being super passionate about the media you consume can come out wrong. Same thing with the gym, for some reason working out more than 3 times a week makes you a douche.
I usually say music, since I'm in a band, sing and play an instrument. Some kind of creative pursuit is probably your best bet. Or anything a little niche or unusual that you are passionate about, unless, once again, it's anime or vidya games.
That's part of the problem, music seems to be the only thing you're allowed to be hardcore into.
Insane Metal
Member
So... can I expect sex if a girl invites me to see 50 Shades Darker with her as a first date? lol
Insane Metal
Member
Oh no D:
She's friends with a very good friend of mine. And we've been talking for a few days.
Count Dookkake
Member
I suspect your balls are gonna be 50 shades of blue.
I hope you will get something in reward for going through that movie.
Oh no. Confirmed douche then.
Ultramantaro1
Member
I'm a douche too. But instead of saying I go to the gym a lot, maybe say things like:
- I like to do sports/be active
- Specific sport (running, bouldering etc.)
- I'm training for a marathon/competition
- Staying in shape for hiking / outdoor activities (which are a hit with most women)
Just going to the gym with only the intention of building muscle sounds very vapid. I mean, I go to the gym mainly to look hot when I take of my shirt and to have girls stare at me, but that's a bad justification.
Insane Metal
Member
LOL
You know, I'm not expecting much, even in such a situation. Better this way, if nothing happens I won't be too bummed.
It could just be a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Shia LeBeouf incident where a guy said that to him. It's probably more of a meme than a belief
Haha I was just joking. I hope you'll have a good time. And yeah, setting the expectation to sex can sometimes be demolishing heh.
Yeah, I mean, that's what a lot of the people go to the gym for, but flat out saying it to someone is never going to come across well xD
Krauser Kat
Member
i have been on 5 dates with this 30yr old mother. All of them have been pretty good. Its just weird. She is going for her PHd in Psychology. She never rifs or tags onto anything irreverent and uses dude and high fives me when i cum. Its the strangest thing. I think i have to end it. conversationally everything is like a thesis. its so hard to explain.
rejecting people is the worst.
rejecting people is the worst.
TangerineCloud
Banned
holy shit
I've been on a bunch of dates like that where the moment that I mention that I usually hit the gym four days a week, they look down upon it. In every case where I've mentioned it, the girl happens to be a runner or a swimmer and preaches to me the wonders of it. There's never been a second date these types of girls.
I dunno what's so "douchey" about weight training when in the day, it's still getting in shape regardless. I go to the gym because it's a natural anti-depressant for me and I like the sense of euphoria that comes with finishing a satisfying work out.
Hahaha, it sounds like you're dating a female version version of David Putty from Seinfeld. I find that hilarious to think about.
I couldn't put my finger on the reference but this is it! Haha...
Count Dookkake
Member
I dunno. Absent the rest, I think I'd find the high-fives endearing.
dglavimans
Member
So how do you guys look agains someone who I met on Tinder and asked fairly quickly to go for something to drink (because I became to hate this little ask and awnser game). She said she would love that but then when I ask about a set date, like friday she is like nah. Dont want to be rude to her but feels like wasting time but she says she is busy..
Also how do you feel over the ignoring game... Like when someone replies I would want to reply at the exact moment but sometimes force myself to wait some hours, you are not desperate that way but doesnt quite help the conversasion.
Why cant dating just be fun
Also how do you feel over the ignoring game... Like when someone replies I would want to reply at the exact moment but sometimes force myself to wait some hours, you are not desperate that way but doesnt quite help the conversasion.
Why cant dating just be fun
Bit late to addressing this, but you just need to focus on what you want from the dating process. Do you want to find a life partner? If yes, then you need to keep working on it.
Try to determine why things went wrong in the previous flings and see if you can avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Don't worry so much about 'failure'. The vast majority of relationships end in failure. You find 'the one' and live together until death or you break up. These are the only two options with any romantic relationships. Try not to view a break up as a failure, see it as just the end of something.
So how do you guys look agains someone who I met on Tinder and asked fairly quickly to go for something to drink (because I became to hate this little ask and awnser game). She said she would love that but then when I ask about a set date, like friday she is like nah. Dont want to be rude to her but feels like wasting time but she says she is busy..
Also how do you feel over the ignoring game... Like when someone replies I would want to reply at the exact moment but sometimes force myself to wait some hours, you are not desperate that way but doesnt quite help the conversasion.
Why cant dating just be fun
Ask her one more time for another day, if she says no again then tell her to let you know when it works for her. Done. If she's bullshitting then that'll be it.
So how do you guys look agains someone who I met on Tinder and asked fairly quickly to go for something to drink (because I became to hate this little ask and awnser game). She said she would love that but then when I ask about a set date, like friday she is like nah. Dont want to be rude to her but feels like wasting time but she says she is busy..
Also how do you feel over the ignoring game... Like when someone replies I would want to reply at the exact moment but sometimes force myself to wait some hours, you are not desperate that way but doesnt quite help the conversasion.
Why cant dating just be fun
Yeah usually if I ask someone out and they just say 'I'm busy that day' I assume they are not interested or just want someone to entertain them at work. If they say 'I'm busy that day but how about Saturday?' then you know they're interested.
Ask her one more time, but if you get a similar response, unmatch her and move on with your life. Don't waste any more time.
LucidMomentum
Member
Same.
Let's be honest, if I was in any sort of decent shape I wouldn't be at the gym.
But going to the gym is how I'll get back into shape / stay in shape, which in turn will hopefully help with getting my foot in the door more often date wise.
I can lift more than most but people really don't care if you look chubby.
Also post sex high fives are dope, but that doesn't seem like the only reason Krauser is thinking of the breakup.
dglavimans
Member
Jeah simple indeed. Will do this! For me it was quite weird to like why do you say yes and sound really positive about it. When I get concrete it is like:
- Jeah no no swimming cause I am fat (I admit that swimming on a first date is not smart)
- No eating cause I am fat
Or she is insecure or she is playing... Dunno in the past I could lose my shit over this and be sad now it is like okay if you do not want to dont waste my time
Ghostshark
Member
It's her female roommate and best friend. The girl I am seeing told me that she would prefer to initiate, so I will respect that.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Preach.
I'm busy = I'm not interested.
I'm busy but how about X instead = I'm busy but interested.
Girl I'm seeing now declined on 2 occasions an intial date offer, but always came back with an alternative. If she had simply said she was busy, I would've gotten the hint.
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