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[I'm an expert]

I posted one in the pics of yourself thread, I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Ok I found it.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=43723618&postcount=9946

Lawl.. where the fuck do you people get your definitions of beautiful and ugly. I could Ryan Gosling your ass Crazy, Stupid, Love style and you'd kill with the ladies, but not as long as you have that shitty attitude. You can't exactly change your height but there are far shorter (and uglier) people in the world.. and on this forum.. that do absolutely fine in life, and in relationships. Man up and stop being such a wimp.

As he learned there's a big fucking difference between "a guy wearing a dress" and a transgender person. Further to that - he's since referred to her as both "he" and "it" outside the context of the story.

I don't think Jax is intentionally being malicious with his usage at all, but he had an opportunity to amend his behavior and perhaps get another shot but with this girl but it seems like it will slip him by.

But why should anyone inexperienced with those people know that difference immediately? Why should they only be given one chance to get it right? That girl and the guy/girl have attention whore written all over them. Fuck'em.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Lawl.. where the fuck do you people get your definitions of beautiful and ugly. I could Ryan Gosling your ass Crazy, Stupid, Love style and you'd kill with the ladies, but not as long as you have that shitty attitude. You can't exactly change your height but there are far shorter (and uglier) people in the world.. and on this forum.. that do absolutely fine in life, and in relationships. Man up and stop being such a wimp.

Can I hire you?

 

[Devolution]

Maxxpower is like Plywood. Stuck on the issue of your height when both of you are cute as fuck.

 

[Branson]

I think I want to be alone for the rest of my life. I've come to this conclusion after being cheated on this year after a 6 year engagement/relationship. I just want to be single for a good long time. I don't want to deal with the stupid drama of if someone is cheating on me or not. Women don't feel like they are worth the trouble anymore. I hate that ifeel this way since I wanted a family and kids at one point but the end hurt doesn't feel worth the journey anymore.

But after giving someone my all and them still betraying me effects me in a way that feels unrecoverable. I can't trust anyone anymore and it just feels useless to try if everything ends. I'm tired of life. Ugh. Sorry. I'm just venting. It's been 9 months but it still effects me this way. Being alone is comforting in some weird way. I won't hurt anyone when I die. Hmm.

 

[Tess3ract]

I'm 5'7".

What the fuck are you talking about, I'm 5'8"ish and no one complains about my height except for tall girls (taller than me). Granted europeans are taller than americans but anecdotally the girlfriend I had at one time who was ukrainian and 5'6" didn't really care that much.

Spoiler

She was quite literally crazy though, but that's another story.

Edit: just in case, if you want the actual backstory, pm me.

 

[Perspicacity]

But why should anyone inexperienced with those people know that difference immediately? Why should they only be given one chance to get it right? That girl and the guy/girl have attention whore written all over them. Fuck'em.

Again - I never said he should have known at the time. I was saying he screwed up and all he had to do was fix his behavior and apologize. But since then he really hasn't bothered to learn up and use proper language. That's like bare fucking minimum effort coming out of this experience.

Put it to you this way - the first time Jax called her a he that was ignorant, but ignorance can be forgiven and if she didn't give him another shot so long as he apologized for the ignorance then yeah, fuck her. But the multiple times Jax used the wrong gender pronouns or worse - "it", that's no longer ignorance it's just defiance.

What exactly makes these girls "attention whores"?

 

[Tess3ract]

For those going through gender identity issues or transitions, referring to the person as "it" is rather offensive. It's like saying "you're not even human" so it's rather insensitive imo.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

Well, I have a 2,5 page, 1298 word long OT4 draft now. It looks a lot shorter in here than I expected.

Are we going with check yo self before you wreck yo self? Otherwise "Dont Worry, Be Happy" is pretty fitting

"chiggedy-check yo self before you wriggedy-wreck yo self" because it's silly and stupid and people need to be okay with being silly and stupid and not take everything so seriously when it comes to these things.

 

[zethren]

I think I want to be alone for the rest of my life. I've come to this conclusion after being cheated on this year after a 6 year engagement/relationship. I just want to be single for a good long time. I don't want to deal with the stupid drama of if someone is cheating on me or not. Women don't feel like they are worth the trouble anymore. I hate that ifeel this way since I wanted a family and kids at one point but the end hurt doesn't feel worth the journey anymore.

But after giving someone my all and them still betraying me effects me in a way that feels unrecoverable. I can't trust anyone anymore and it just feels useless to try if everything ends. I'm tired of life. Ugh. Sorry. I'm just venting. It's been 9 months but it still effects me this way. Being alone is comforting in some weird way. I won't hurt anyone when I die. Hmm.

If these girls did this to you then they aren't worth it in the first place. THEY aren't worth it. You don't want to be with someone who would do that to you.

Don't let them win. Don't let them ruin something you've always wanted with someone you haven't even met yet. There's a woman out there that you will find some how, some day, that will love you for you and stick by you. Then you'll have that family that you want. Then you'll realize that all of this pain and struggle and bullshit was worth it. Life is funny like that.

I know it's hard, buddy. I feel you. I wasn't engaged, but I got out of a relationship of 6.5 years earlier this year. Things do get better, and you do meet other people. People that will make you happy. And if they are worth it, they will see that you're worth it too.

Try your best to turn your life around for your own happiness and you'll get there. I absolutely promise you. It's okay to vent, you should vent. It helps. Just don't give up on yourself.

 

[Vibed]

Well that picture makes me look better than I actually do in real life, I'm pretty sure it's the lighting. I don't really like to shave because I look like a 14 year old when I'm clean shaven and my skin gets irritated as fuck, but thanks for the advice.



I'm 5'7".

Come on, no way in hell do you look ugly. In fact, my face looks a little like yours but is more narrow and round overall (as opposed to tear shaped like you). You're 5'7", hey, I'm 5'8.5", not that much taller than you. A bit below the average height for you, but not short enough to cause problems when most girls are 5'2" to 5'7". Even if most girls are taller in your area, that's not a problem either.

Don't let that attitude trick you, you might not be a stunner, but plenty would find you attractive.

 

[NeOak]

I'm 5'7". So what?

It doesn't matter.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

Come on, no way in hell do you look ugly. In fact, my face looks a little like yours but is more narrow and round overall (as opposed to tear shaped like you). You're 5'7", hey, I'm 5'8.5", not that much taller than you. A bit below the average height for you, but not short enough to cause problems when most girls are 5'2" to 5'7". Even if most girls are taller in your area, that's not a problem either.

Don't let that attitude trick you, you might not be a stunner, but plenty would find you attractive.

I have a friend who is 5'4" and managed to put quite a few notches in his bedpost throughout college. He never let his height bother him. It's all about how you present yourself.

 

[Tess3ract]

exhibit b: she's a model, she can have anyone she wants, and she has that guy who's shorter than her. Obviously she think's he's awesome, and he's shorter than you or me. So I ask you, what's stopping you? You aren't ugly, so the conclusion is you don't consider yourself awesome enough, and stuff like that shows on the outside.

It sounds hammy but if you think you're awesome, it ends up resulting in people thinking you are awesome. It's all about how you hold yourself.

 

[PflargBlarg]

After more consideration I'm just wasting my time with this girl. Last wednesday I suggested a movie night, she checked her schedule, and got back to me the next day that tuesday or thursday of this week would probably work.

We've talked in between then and now and she's yet to update me on what's happening. I mean, it is tuesday at the moment. Every time we talk I get told "I really want to go to that!" but then nothing ever (well, rarely) happens.

My effort level has dropped to right about zero at this point. Unless something drastic changes with how she's acting, I'm not going to be contacting her again.

 

[zethren]

It sounds hammy but if you think you're awesome, it ends up resulting in people thinking you are awesome. It's all about how you hold yourself.

Absolutely. It all links back to self confidence and feeling good about yourself, as many people in here have been saying all along.

Just don't be a cock about it.

 

[maxxpower]

Dude, you aren't ugly in the slightest. Trim your beard up a bit, style your hair, and get some good looking/fitting clothes on you and you'll be good to go.

Also, destroy that defeatist attitude. It will literally get you nowhere faster than if you actually were ugly.

I've overcome the odds and succeeded in a lot of things in life, but dating/getting a girlfriend is something that I have never been able to succeed in.

You are definitely not ugly! But such a low opinion of yourself is definitely unattractive. You need to learn to love yourself!

Also 5'7 isn't too bad, plenty of women out there (myself included) who aren't that fussed about guys being tall. I honestly couldn't care less how tall a guy is, there are way more important things than height. Plus it's easier to kiss shorter guys, no need to stand on my tiptoes!

My problem is that every day I wish I was taller, it's a thought that is constantly in my head. Every male in my family is tall and I ended up being short and I guess it still bothers me to this day.

Tell me more about this place.

San Luis Obispo, California.

Lawl.. where the fuck do you people get your definitions of beautiful and ugly. I could Ryan Gosling your ass Crazy, Stupid, Love style and you'd kill with the ladies, but not as long as you have that shitty attitude. You can't exactly change your height but there are far shorter (and uglier) people in the world.. and on this forum.. that do absolutely fine in life, and in relationships. Man up and stop being such a wimp.

You're right, I have to stop being such a wimp, the problem is that all these dateless years have made me develop a slight social anxiety that women might pick up as being insecure, or apathetic. I was also depressive and suicidal a few years ago so I guess I'm still trying to improve myself, but I'm working on it.

Maxxpower is like Plywood. Stuck on the issue of your height when both of you are cute as fuck.

Plywood is definitely a good looking guy.

 

[Tess3ract]

I've overcome the odds and succeeded in a lot of things in life, but dating/getting a girlfriend is something that I have never been able to succeed in.

You need to work on your height issues. Therapy is always good (That's not me saying you're crazy, that's not me being a dick) way to help you solve mental issues like that which are bothering you.

You might be able to start by wearing shoes with thicker soles, you know, just so you're an inch or so taller than you normally are. It won't change your height but you'll feel taller. Don't you feel tall when you walk around for fun on your tippy toes? It's like that. It feels great when you notice it.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

I got called ugly today for no reason at completely random. Is this even remotely common? It's like I'm living a bad movie.

 

[maxxpower]

I got called ugly today for no reason at completely random. Is this even remotely common? It's like I'm living a bad movie.

That is very random, and I would suppose it's not very common.

 

[Meatfist]

I got called ugly today for no reason at completely random. Is this even remotely common? It's like I'm living a bad movie.

Was it in a joking kind of way, or did the girl (or guy) look you dead in the eye and tell you you're an ugly mofo?

Because if it's the second one, damn. That's dirty.

 

[jaxword]

Again - I never said he should have known at the time. I was saying he screwed up and all he had to do was fix his behavior and apologize. But since then he really hasn't bothered to learn up and use proper language. That's like bare fucking minimum effort coming out of this experience.

Put it to you this way - the first time Jax called her a he that was ignorant, but ignorance can be forgiven and if she didn't give him another shot so long as he apologized for the ignorance then yeah, fuck her. But the multiple times Jax used the wrong gender pronouns or worse - "it", that's no longer ignorance it's just defiance.

What exactly makes these girls "attention whores"?

For those going through gender identity issues or transitions, referring to the person as "it" is rather offensive. It's like saying "you're not even human" so it's rather insensitive imo.

I never said "it", guys. Not sure why you think I did.

And I also said I am still learning how to use the terms right. I have zero hatred or malice for anyone's sexual choices, and I support transgender/transsexuality. People can do what they like.

This is my first time ever really dealing with a transsexual person. So PRIOR to this, for 2 decades, I've called male transvestites He. And, also, as a kid, I never called homosexual guys "girls" because I had no desire to insult them. Same with my straight guy friends, everyone knows they don't like being called girls.

So now I have to re-think that entire language. I have to REVERSE my thinking but only in specific conversations. This is not going to be instantaneous. Now I have to say "she" for a transsexual (who hasn't actually had the procedure done yet, I learned after) because they want to be called "she." Which is fine, I am willing to do that, but I am saying I am not quick enough to change overnight, hence why I admit I make mistakes with sometimes saying "he" and not catching myself yet.

 

[zethren]

I've overcome the odds and succeeded in a lot of things in life, but dating/getting a girlfriend is something that I have never been able to succeed in.

So change that?

How do you change that?

Knock that attitude out of your head. You can't change your height. Deal with it. You're a good looking guy, and with a little grooming/styling you'll get a date.

You can either:

A) Keep this defeatist attitude up and stay the same.

B) Do something about it.

One of those leads to improvement and happiness.

 

[I'm an expert]

San Luis Obispo, California.

Odd coincidence but I know a ton of girls from SLO.. they're all shorter than 5'7" and crazy hot. No joke. Did you go to SLO High?

 

[Plywood]

Maxxpower is like Plywood. Stuck on the issue of your height when both of you are cute as fuck.

I have a lot of issues related to self esteem, height is one. I wish I could get over myself but I have so many negative thoughts from past experiences whirling in my head. I don't feel set in life either and even when I try to get myself on track a sense of isolation occurs. Then there's the fact that I have nothing positive to say about the city I reside in and feel as though it's a shit hole. I don't want this to sound like a list of excuses so I'll just say it all feels burdensome and heavy. I hate me.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

Was it in a joking kind of way, or did the girl (or guy) look you dead in the eye and tell you you're an ugly mofo?

Because if it's the second one, damn. That's dirty.

Seemed like it was in a mocking fashion.

 

[Devolution]

I have a lot of issues related to self esteem, height is one. I wish I could get over myself but I have so many negative thoughts from past experiences whirling in my head. I don't feel set in life either and even when I try to get myself on track a sense of isolation occurs. Then there's the fact that I have nothing positive to say about the city I reside in and feel as though it's a shit hole. I don't want this to sound like a list of excuses so I'll just say it all feels burdensome and heavy. I hate me.

I understand. Some times a change of venue can work wonders. Maxx are you basically stuck in SLO? Because that's a tiny tiny place.

 

[NeOak]

My problem is that every day I wish I was taller, it's a thought that is constantly in my head. Every male in my family is tall and I ended up being short and I guess it still bothers me to this day.

I'm the older yet the shortest of 3 brothers. Am I less than them for being "short"? Nope.

It's something that shouldn't bother you at all. You're focused on something no one else cares.

 

[JohnDoe]

Seemed like it was in a mocking fashion.

Then don't take it seriously I think I saw pics of you and you definitely aren't ugly
@maxxpower: You are definitely good-looking, WTF. Your height isn't much of an issue either, you're the same height as Dave Franco and he's one attractive fellow! (That fuck is dating Alison Brie)

General advice, fellas:
Don't bother with things that can't be changed, work on what you can change.

 

[Branson]

If these girls did this to you then they aren't worth it in the first place. THEY aren't worth it. You don't want to be with someone who would do that to you.

Don't let them win. Don't let them ruin something you've always wanted with someone you haven't even met yet. There's a woman out there that you will find some how, some day, that will love you for you and stick by you. Then you'll have that family that you want. Then you'll realize that all of this pain and struggle and bullshit was worth it. Life is funny like that.

I know it's hard, buddy. I feel you. I wasn't engaged, but I got out of a relationship of 6.5 years earlier this year. Things do get better, and you do meet other people. People that will make you happy. And if they are worth it, they will see that you're worth it too.

Try your best to turn your life around for your own happiness and you'll get there. I absolutely promise you. It's okay to vent, you should vent. It helps. Just don't give up on yourself.

Thanks, its been a hard road and it hasnt been easy. I'm still struggling and coming to terms with not feeling like I was worth it because I was cheated on. Really self concious about myself now since that happened and everything. I just feel like I wont ever be good enough for someone if that always happens. It has in every relationship I have been in my life.

 

[Minamu]

"chiggedy-check yo self before you wriggedy-wreck yo self" because it's silly and stupid and people need to be okay with being silly and stupid and not take everything so seriously when it comes to these things.

You have a good point It might be too long though.

I posted one in the pics of yourself thread, I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Ok I found it.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=43723618&postcount=9946

You have GOT to be kidding me. If Sean Stephenson can get women, so can you (not meant to demean him).

 

[stn]

maxxpower -

Dude, you look fine! Just shave, style your hair up--you look like you have really good hair--and dress nice. You'll be absolutely fine.

 

[Vermillion]

I got called ugly today for no reason at completely random. Is this even remotely common? It's like I'm living a bad movie.

Happened to me once before. Not common and you'll probably never see them again.

maxxpower, I'd like to punch you.

 

[AzureSkies]

So GAF, I've been going out with this girl for three weeks and despite it going moderately well: I don't really feel like the relationship has gone absolutely anywhere at this point, I feel like I'm in the exact same shoes that I was when I was originally friends with her.

Don't get me wrong, she's great but I can't see this working for much longer. I feel like we'd be better off as friends but I know that isn't going to happen as I can't see the breakup going too well. I've also found out in this time that we're far more different than I thought we were originally, we don't actually have too much in common.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Fuck this, you know what, you guys are right. Sometimes I just can't deal with this shit. Both of us are working our asses off and she loses her temper over stupid shit. I'd imagine if we did go out for real, I'll have to deal with her losing her shit at work and losing her shit on a date. This woman is not worth the headache. That said, my attempts of "woo" her did have some benefits like confidence boost and better self image.

Thanks for the advise guys.

I might give online dating a try. Plenty of women with better temper out there.

 

[Perspicacity]

I never said "it", guys. Not sure why you think I did.

And I also said I am still learning how to use the terms right. I have zero hatred or malice for anyone's sexual choices, and I support transgender/transsexuality. People can do what they like.

This is my first time ever really dealing with a transsexual person. So PRIOR to this, for 2 decades, I've called male transvestites He. And, also, as a kid, I never called homosexual guys "girls" because I had no desire to insult them. Same with my straight guy friends, everyone knows they don't like being called girls.

So now I have to re-think that entire language. I have to REVERSE my thinking but only in specific conversations. This is not going to be instantaneous. Now I have to say "she" for a transsexual (who hasn't actually had the procedure done yet, I learned after) because they want to be called "she." Which is fine, I am willing to do that, but I am saying I am not quick enough to change overnight, hence why I admit I make mistakes with sometimes saying "he" and not catching myself yet.

I specifically said you don't hold any malice. But your situation is so easily fixed that it's frustrating the hell out of me that you're not doing anything about it. Just own up to the girls that you didn't understand the issue before but that you realize now why what you said is offensive.
If your date was going well before that then there is absolutely no reason why she shouldn't give you another shot.

You should also probably read up a bit more so that you can be sincere when you say you've learned something. Here is a good place to start: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=491958

As an aside you said "1. Don't assume it's a crossdresser". I know what you meant and what you were trying to say, but "It" is very much used as a pejorative towards trans-people so it's just something you should be a bit more aware of when talking about these things.

Good luck.

 

[jaxword]

I specifically said you don't hold any malice. But your situation is so easily fixed that it's frustrating the hell out of me that you're not doing anything about it. Just own up to the girls that you didn't understand the issue before but that you realize now why what you said is offensive.
If your date was going well before that then there is absolutely no reason why she shouldn't give you another shot.

You should also probably read up a bit more so that you can be sincere when you say you've learned something. Here is a good place to start: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=491958

As an aside you said "1. Don't assume it's a crossdresser". I know what you meant and what you were trying to say, but "It" is very much used as a pejorative towards trans-people so it's just something you should be a bit more aware of when talking about these things.

Good luck.

I said "Don't assume it's a crossdresser" as a reference to the situation, not as a reference to the individual. "I had a bad date with this girl, it was horrible" doesn't mean I think of her as an "it". "I'm arguing with Tom, he's not happy. I don't want to talk about it." doesn't mean I think of him as an "it" either.

That's the entire point I am making here about having to restructure my entire vocabulary for this, which takes time. If I can't use the word "it" in conversation anymore, that's going to be...difficult.

 

[FO-totality]

You should also probably read up a bit more so that you can be sincere when you say you've learned something. Here is a good place to start: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=491958

He posted in that thread, I'm pretty sure he's aware of it.

 

[jaxword]

He posted in that thread, I'm pretty sure he's aware of it.

Yes, he is aware, and he's willing and trying to learn.

 

[maxxpower]

Odd coincidence but I know a ton of girls from SLO.. they're all shorter than 5'7" and crazy hot. No joke. Did you go to SLO High?

I didn't go to SLO High, I'm just here because I go to Cal Poly. I think most of the girls I've met that are shorter than 5'7" already have a boyfriend.

Maxx are you basically stuck in SLO? Because that's a tiny tiny place.

Sorta, I graduate next year so I'm stuck here for at least another year.

I'm the older yet the shortest of 3 brothers. Am I less than them for being "short"? Nope.

It's something that shouldn't bother you at all. You're focused on something no one else cares.

I guess you're right, my problem is that I think girls see short guys as "cute" but not really boyfriend material. When I see a guy that's the same height as me and realize that's how short I look to other people I just can't help but think that I look like a kid and not like a man.

maxxpower -

Dude, you look fine! Just shave, style your hair up--you look like you have really good hair--and dress nice. You'll be absolutely fine.

It seems like everyone agrees that I should shave, so I'll go ahead and do that. I have ok-ish hair, I have a lot of it, and it's very thick so it's difficult to style sometimes, but I'll try to style my hair up, thanks for the advice.

 

[PflargBlarg]

So GAF, I've been going out with this girl for three weeks and despite it going moderately well: I don't really feel like the relationship has gone absolutely anywhere at this point, I feel like I'm in the exact same shoes that I was when I was originally friends with her.

Don't get me wrong, she's great but I can't see this working for much longer. I feel like we'd be better off as friends but I know that isn't going to happen as I can't see the breakup going too well. I've also found out in this time that we're far more different than I thought we were originally, we don't actually have too much in common.

Is she really into the relationship but not taking it anywhere? The breakup may not be as bad as you imagine.
I think my situation may be like yours. I'm certainly not into it at this point, and it needs to end soon. Her feelings are honestly impenetrable to me right now, but maybe you have a better idea in your situation.

I think an important thing is, if this is how you're feeling, you really don't want to go through Christmas with her.

 

[FO-totality]

Yes, he is aware, and he's willing and trying to learn.

Sorry. Just saw them all sorta jumping on you a little, didn't mean to step on feet.

 

[jaxword]

Sorry. Just saw them all sorta jumping on you a little, didn't mean to step on feet.

No worries man, s'all good, I wasn't mad or anything.

 

[nOoblet16]

It's not strictly something related to dating but I have this friend of mine who used to be in my close friend circle. I love her (although isn't aware of this) and I suspect that she (atleast at some point earlier this year) used to like me as well.

She moved out of city a few months ago and we stayed in touch for a while but lately she's been acting up as if I don't exist at all, never texts me or shows any activity in facebook towards any of my update (you know like you'd expect from close friends) especially when she used to do so before and still continues to do so with everyone else who isn't me ! (including my roomate...who isn't even as good friends with her as me). The absolute worst happened when she started blanking me on FB as well when all I asked her was how has she been doing since the time I last spoke to her and that I will be travelling to her country next month.

I really want to know what's prompting her to do this because it's killing me and making me feel bad if I unknowingly hurt her in some way, but it'd be just rude and self centered for me to blatantly ask her...wouldn't it ? What else can I do about this ?


Also I mentioned that I still love her and I miss her a lot but I should make it clear that I'm not obsessed by her and I am ready to date and pursue a relationship with someone else...provided I meet someone who's even half as interesting and talented as she was.

 

[leadbelly]

Not sure what you can do. If someone is ignoring me I will assume that person doesn't want to speak to me. And I won't speak to them. It is as simple as that.

There could be a number of reasons why she may be doing it, but what's the point of thinking about it? It's entirely up to her now.

 

[nOoblet16]

Not sure what you can do. If someone is ignoring me I will assume that person doesn't want to speak to me. And I won't speak them. It is as simple as that.

I agree it's quite simple as simply not thinking about it and not speaking to them, but it's hard to do so when the person used to be one of your close friends and is the only person to ignore you out of all your friends.

 

[leadbelly]

I agree it's quite simple as simply not thinking about it and not speaking to them, but it's hard to do so when the person used to be one of your close friends and is the only person to ignore you out of all your friends.

I'm not saying it is easy, just that there isn't an awful lot you can do about it. There comes a time when you just have to forget about it and move on.

You've tried to speak to her and she has continually ignored you. No point trying again.

 

[I'm an expert]

I didn't go to SLO High, I'm just here because I go to Cal Poly. I think most of the girls I've met that are shorter than 5'7" already have a boyfriend.

Ah, I see. Well, at the very least I disproved your "there's only tall white girls" theory because it's just not true. Though it's true most get out of SLO and go to CSU or UCI. If you're still in college though you have so many opportunities to meet people, as long as you don't always have a "I hate myself" face on.

 

[Log4Girlz]

It's not strictly something related to dating but I have this friend of mine who used to be in my close friend circle. I love her (although isn't aware of this) and I suspect that she (atleast at some point earlier this year) used to like me as well.

She moved out of city a few months ago and we stayed in touch for a while but lately she's been acting up as if I don't exist at all, never texts me or shows any activity in facebook towards any of my update (you know like you'd expect from close friends) especially when she used to do so before and still continues to do so with everyone else who isn't me ! (including my roomate...who isn't even as good friends with her as me). The absolute worst happened when she started blanking me on FB as well when all I asked her was how has she been doing since the time I last spoke to her and that I will be travelling to her country next month.

I really want to know what's prompting her to do this because it's killing me and making me feel bad if I unknowingly hurt her in some way, but it'd be just rude and self centered for me to blatantly ask her...wouldn't it ? What else can I do about this ?


Also I mentioned that I still love her and I miss her a lot but I should make it clear that I'm not obsessed by her and I am ready to date and pursue a relationship with someone else...provided I meet someone who's even half as interesting and talented as she was.

She doesn't like you. Fuck that shit, get over her. You deserve to be treated with respect.

 

[hawkshockey11]

It's not strictly something related to dating but I have this friend of mine who used to be in my close friend circle. I love her (although isn't aware of this) and I suspect that she (atleast at some point earlier this year) used to like me as well.

She moved out of city a few months ago and we stayed in touch for a while but lately she's been acting up as if I don't exist at all, never texts me or shows any activity in facebook towards any of my update (you know like you'd expect from close friends) especially when she used to do so before and still continues to do so with everyone else who isn't me ! (including my roomate...who isn't even as good friends with her as me). The absolute worst happened when she started blanking me on FB as well when all I asked her was how has she been doing since the time I last spoke to her and that I will be travelling to her country next month.

I really want to know what's prompting her to do this because it's killing me and making me feel bad if I unknowingly hurt her in some way, but it'd be just rude and self centered for me to blatantly ask her...wouldn't it ? What else can I do about this ?


Also I mentioned that I still love her and I miss her a lot but I should make it clear that I'm not obsessed by her and I am ready to date and pursue a relationship with someone else...provided I meet someone who's even half as interesting and talented as she was.

I know that feeling. Life will be so much easier if you just except that they have their reasons, even if you cannot rationalize why. Just let it go and try not to think about it.

 

[I'm an expert]

It's not strictly something related to dating but I have this friend of mine who used to be in my close friend circle. I love her (although isn't aware of this) and I suspect that she (atleast at some point earlier this year) used to like me as well.

She moved out of city a few months ago and we stayed in touch for a while but lately she's been acting up as if I don't exist at all, never texts me or shows any activity in facebook towards any of my update (you know like you'd expect from close friends) especially when she used to do so before and still continues to do so with everyone else who isn't me ! (including my roomate...who isn't even as good friends with her as me). The absolute worst happened when she started blanking me on FB as well when all I asked her was how has she been doing since the time I last spoke to her and that I will be travelling to her country next month.

I really want to know what's prompting her to do this because it's killing me and making me feel bad if I unknowingly hurt her in some way, but it'd be just rude and self centered for me to blatantly ask her...wouldn't it ? What else can I do about this ?


Also I mentioned that I still love her and I miss her a lot but I should make it clear that I'm not obsessed by her and I am ready to date and pursue a relationship with someone else...provided I meet someone who's even half as interesting and talented as she was.

Why would it be rude and self centered to ask someone you thought was a friend why they are ignoring you all of a sudden? You weren't romantically involved, so scratch all that "I liked her, she prolly liked me" bullshit out of your head. Just message her and ask if something is wrong. Don't automatically go down the "did I do something to hurt you oh no wah wah I'm so sorry" route cause then you just simp yourself out. If you don't have the balls to confront someone about why they're ignoring you, then fuck it and move on.