Try to exentuate your other features. Have a good hair cut, clean shave if you can't pull off facial hair (IMO most can't. I only have a beard because my fiancé likes it). I understand what it's like to have a physical feature that's difficult to change pull you down, but unless you're so far gone, you can make it a non issue by showing off other features.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Try to exentuate your other features. Have a good hair cut, clean shave if you can't pull off facial hair (IMO most can't. I only have a beard because my fiancé likes it). I understand what it's like to have a physical feature that's difficult to change pull you down, but unless you're so far gone, you can make it a non issue by showing off other features.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Well, then... Not really sure how you expect to get any help on that matter...
Does it look like a Witch's? Would it be reasonable to expect a bat to live there? If no, then you might be overreacting.
A few days ago I posted my story here. (For those who don't remember: my girlfriend has been in China since September and won't be back until July and in the past few months my drug addiction(s) caused me to drop all contact with her. Got clean and started talking to her again and now I miss her more than anything and have crazy guilt feelings.) I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with how I was able to treat the girl I love the way I did. And the fact that I pushed her away so much that she was willing to try with someone else (albeit halfheartedly and only for 2 weeks tops) is killing me. I know I shouldn't dwell on this, as it is in the past and can't be changed, but the thought of someone else touching her and kissing her is just too much for my recently-cleaned-up mind to handle. Add in the distance and time that separate us and you can probably guess I'm having a hard time dealing with this shit.
So yeah, anyone have any advice on how to accept the things that happened and move on?
(Wanted to post a picture of us together from this summer because I'm feeling nostalgic, but I don't know how.)
EDIT: I figured it out
So yeah, anyone have any advice on how to accept the things that happened and move on?
(Wanted to post a picture of us together from this summer because I'm feeling nostalgic, but I don't know how.)
EDIT: I figured it out
Vermillion
Banned
It's not that it's bad at all - it's that it's feasible for him... not so much for myself. I'm not jealous or anything.
It's a How I Met Your Mother thing. A perfect week is basically having sex with a different girl every day of the week, no rejections.
I guess so, it's just like there's a chink in the armor the whole time, so to speak.
Ha, nobody has ever said that, but I personally don't think that it's a stretch.
I have no room to talk, because I don't want to post a pic, but I think it would pretty cool if you did. Just ask that nobody quote it, and then remove it later on.
theignoramus
Member
oh. yeah, I knew somebody like that. He did it with multiple women, every day of the week. In like one week, he'd have more sex than I ever did in multiple years. And all kinds of sex too, the stuff you see in adult video, haha. (he pulled in a lot of wild women)
It was painful to think about, but thank fuck my game has improved somewhat since then.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
She's kissed and fucked people before you, it's a normal thing, and stressing over the past is never a good thing. Just consider those two weeks as the past. Whatever she did, she wants to be with you now. When you think about someone touching or kissing her, think about you cause that's all that matters.
Not everyone can do everything, who cares? Congratulate him if he succeeds, make fun of him if he doesn't.
The concept of perfect week is stupid anyways.
It's kind of childish in a way though.
Figured it out and edited my previous post.
Should be proof that you don't have to be goodlooking to land an awesome girlfriend.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
All women.
Figured it out and edited my previous post.
Should be proof that you don't have to be goodlooking to land an awesome girlfriend.
Adorable!
Prety much. You HAVE to ask.
Adorable!
Thanks!
Wish I had more, but considering how skinny and pale I look in those that's probably a good thing.
(And in case anyone is wondering, I am 24 and she is 21. And yes I know we look like children)
Inside joke he was talking about?I hope you're doing better with her being away. You two do seem really happy together, which is awesome. You should probably let her know how you're feeling though about this, if you haven't already. Just try to be understanding about it though, you know?
hawkshockey11
Banned
You guys look like an awesome couple. Glad to see that you are getting clean and everything worked out before it was too late. Real love story.
It's not that it's necessarily all in your head, having a weird nose or whatever, just that it mainly only matters because you think it matters. Stop worrying about things that you shouldn't change (not can't, shouldn't) and focus on what you should address, and coincidentally what matters the most: fitness, hygiene, style, and demeanor.
"Oh, I got shot down...fuck, was she staring at my nose? I hate my nose, all these other guys don't have this holding them back and they're getting what I can't, FML, why can't I not have this shortcoming
"
Your nose will be endearing and not weird or ugly the moment someone realizes that you're a cool guy, and that part's in your hands.
"Oh, I got shot down...fuck, was she staring at my nose? I hate my nose, all these other guys don't have this holding them back and they're getting what I can't, FML, why can't I not have this shortcoming
"Your nose will be endearing and not weird or ugly the moment someone realizes that you're a cool guy, and that part's in your hands.
It's not that it's necessarily all in your head, having a weird nose or whatever, just that it mainly only matters because you think it matters. Stop worrying about things that you shouldn't change (not can't, shouldn't) and focus on what you should address, and coincidentally what matters the most: fitness, hygiene, style, and demeanor.
"Oh, I got shot down...fuck, was she staring at my nose? I hate my nose, all these other guys don't have this holding them back and they're getting what I can't, FML, why can't I not have this shortcoming
Your nose will be endearing and not weird or ugly the moment someone realizes that you're a cool guy, and that part's in your hands.
I get what you're saying, but it's just hard to think that way when I've had so many years of experience that has basically told me the contrary. I feel like even with my personality that was always awesome (not to like brag), I still just couldn't keep up.
One thing I've always noticed was girls (and I'm sure the vice-versa applies here) laugh at really shitty jokes/something funny when someone they like says them. No matter how awful, they always seem to laugh, and feint interest. That always perturbed me. I would always think "wait, that wasn't funny? Why did she laugh at that?" when in a group or whatever.
My friend just invited me to a pool party on Tuesday, she wants me to bring the girl I've been seeing (they already knew each other before we met). I'm planning on waiting til tomorrow to tell her about it though. Are we in agreement that given my situation, this is probably the best course of action?
What would be wrong with telling her today? Also, she probably already knows about it if the two are friends, so you could end up looking bad.
I'd say just ask her now.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
If someone gives you shit about your nose, bludgeon them with it.
Can you remind us about your situation?
I don't see anything wrong with it.
luckyboyceo
Member
You're over thinking again. One day isn't going to make any difference. If she wants to go, she'll go.
EDIT:
Unless you're asking more about whether you should bring her at all? I'd say yes. It's convenient that you have mutual friends that will be there, makes it more casual.
This is so true. I'd add that if you convince yourself that your nose is ugly, it'll show in your demeanor and it'll affect the outcome. Changing your belief to that your nose is the best part of your body and really owning it will have a tremendously positive effect on your life. It always comes down loving yourself first, then loving others. We all say versions of the same thing here and I'm one of those who used to think that every part of my body was horrible and no one could ever like me.It's not that it's necessarily all in your head, having a weird nose or whatever, just that it mainly only matters because you think it matters. Stop worrying about things that you shouldn't change (not can't, shouldn't) and focus on what you should address, and coincidentally what matters the most: fitness, hygiene, style, and demeanor.
"Oh, I got shot down...fuck, was she staring at my nose? I hate my nose, all these other guys don't have this holding them back and they're getting what I can't, FML, why can't I not have this shortcoming
Your nose will be endearing and not weird or ugly the moment someone realizes that you're a cool guy, and that part's in your hands.
Hylian7: I'd ask her asap, otherwise it might be too short of a notice to make it, whether she wants to or not.
XD
Nobody ever has said anything about it in the past, it's just something I've always know.
So let me get this straight: your alleged imperfection is something that only you notice?
The fact that nobody has ever said anything about it in the past means they just don't see it the way you do, and even if they do they clearly don't care. So why would you care?
For the last time: nothing is wrong with you dude. Improve yourself and strive to be your best self. This will increase your confidence and that is what in turn attracts girls.
Vermillion
Banned
You stare at yourself in the mirror too long, you're bound to notice imperfections that no one else does. Then when you fail, you're bound to blame them.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Perhaps they are afraid of what The Nose will do in retaliation.
TheSchwab_7
Member
She literally just called me a dick and that she didn't like me anymore. I know she's joking, but still wtf?
I guess. I've always thought that people just never brought it up because it would be weird, or just because they were trying to be nice is all.
Situation was that she was acting weird at the last date we had (third date, and she seemed extremely into me the first two, and to a lesser extent, this one even), and I thought it would be best to just lay off for a few days. That was on Thursday. I wasn't sure if this was too soon or not, but I should probably just wait until tomorrow anyway. I probably am overthinking it perhaps.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I think we need more context.
Worst case scenario, you didn't lose anything and you won't waste your time.
I think you are. Just ask her today.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Well we met Thursday night after a concert. She was with a bunch of other girls on my floor and we started talking etc. etc. Then we got a noise complaint, so the girls left, but she and her friend came back down to my dorm to see if me and my buddy wanted to watch a movie with them. We had alcohol so we stayed in my dorm and watched a movie together...then we madeout and went back to her room, but she fell asleep. She took my phone and put her number in it. Last night we were in tornado warning so we went in the basement together and took cover lol.
She makes fun of me all the time, calls me dumb, gay, draws things on my whiteboard, invites me to hang with her friends. Says she has something to show me and I open my door and shes all wet, gives me a hug, and leaves.
And every time I go in to kiss her she like laughs, but still kisses me. I don't even.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
...How is that difficult to read? She's into you, period.
You are. Asking today or tomorrow won't make a difference.
When your friends keep telling you that what you lack in looks you make up in personnality sucks though. The sentence that kills it all beeing "tu gagne à être connu" which boils down to "if someone takes the time to dig, what they find is nice"
That's something you can't do squat about but keep on improving yourself. So in a sense I can understand his frustrations.
Leeroy3101
Banned
How does one go about handling eye tag with someone you've never talked to but share a course with?
Approach her and talk to her one day before/after class.
go up to her and say "if you were an angle you would be acute one"
Talk to them asap. Otherwise you'll end up looking at them without talking to them and it gets creepy.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Say the opposite of what chinner would say.
It either works or you're screwed, but if it works, you just saved a whole lot of time!
Leeroy3101
Banned
Wouldn't acute be the opposite of cute? Such as typcial vs. atypical?
I'm kidding. I know what you're trying to say with cheesy pickup lines.
Yeah, I figured that much. It only just started this past week. Now it's just a matter of letting it happen spontaneously. Doesn't really help that she's always with a friend before or after class.
Atramental
Banned
"I want to add some Fuck to your Life." Is what you should've said to that girl.
kidding
...kinda
"i've had a crush on you for years"
Atramental
Banned
"I love you and I want you to have my children. All 20 of them."
"Hey bitch you're really fucking obtuse!"
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