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FakeGAF 6: Fear the Walking Thirst
- Thread starter WhereAreMahDragonz
- Start date
- Status
CrudeDiatribe
Member
This is better than pineapple pizza. EDIT: not Lilith's dogefest.
Take a bath in garlic butter [thirst_face.txt]
Angel From Montgomery - Tedeschi Trucks Band - There's very little from this band that doesn't put a huge smile on my face. I love playing them loud in the car.
Also blues music of all sorts, but especially jump.
Take a bath in garlic butter [thirst_face.txt]
Angel From Montgomery - Tedeschi Trucks Band - There's very little from this band that doesn't put a huge smile on my face. I love playing them loud in the car.
Also blues music of all sorts, but especially jump.
After reading the thread DrM got hot and bothered and noticed he didnt had any lotion or lube to take care of the whipworm. He furiously logs out of GAF and starts dressing back pushing his hardened metapod back in his pants and sloppily puts shoes rushing to the door with a buttoned down shirt open. Before going into his car he puts the buttons on and starts saying "Oh my god this only happens to me jfc". He rushes for the nearest CVS or Walgreens and fighting through the traffic and yelling obscenities to the drivers. He reaches a Walgreens and rushes to pick up a gallon of lube and some scented candles. He picks one strawberry candle, one peaches and cream and runs to the cashier. The sexy cashier asks Drm " Busy night?" and he proceeds with a big smile and tells the sexy af cashied "No, I'm reading FakeGAF".
As DrM walks out of the door of Walgreens things fade to black and leaves the rest to our imagination.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
"Everyone! Everyone! Chastity! Animals! Poor Typography! Excessive JPEG encoding noise! Chastity!"
friskykillface
Banned
bork bork
sounds better than bark
sounds better than bark
This is a work of art
::slow clap::
Currently measuring my
t-shirt
XXL
You Know Nothing
Member
Jesus Christ.
Ramsay is too much.
fake edit: And Jesus Christ at the last page.
Ramsay is too much.
fake edit: And Jesus Christ at the last page.
I'm not quite to the point of enjoying them yet but yeah at least they actually put style in them. also the material tends to be more comfortable
liliththepale
Banned
I usually get a tube of KY 5oz for about twelve bucks. There are 128 ounces in a gallon. That means DrM's gallon of lube is going to be like $300. That's dedication, man!
Really? Maybe it's just the heat of the moment but I've enjoyed wearing my boyfriend's boxers before. It's never extensive though... not through the day or anything.
Really? Maybe it's just the heat of the moment but I've enjoyed wearing my boyfriend's boxers before. It's never extensive though... not through the day or anything.
You Know Nothing
Member
can't stand boxers. briefs suck too. boxer briefs are the only thing thats any good.
You Know Nothing
Member
Alfie Allen is too good for this show tbh.
*can confirm, is dirty*
Who thought back when Lily Allen was roasting him on her debut album that he'd turn out to be the more talented of the two.
Who thought back when Lily Allen was roasting him on her debut album that he'd turn out to be the more talented of the two.
Professor Beef
Banned
*horp
You Know Nothing
Member
liliththepale
Banned
well why not just wear boyshorts or cheekies?
be the change you want to see!
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
This is why we can't have nice things
boy shorts are definitely what i'd prefer. I was specifically going through the list of mens' underwear though
trab pu kcip
Member
liliththepale
Banned
boy shorts are definitely what i'd prefer. I was specifically going through the list of mens' underwear though
oh... I guess I just don't know why you're trying on a bunch of men's underwear if you don't like it. (nothing at all wrong with people who do like it!)
friskykillface
Banned
bork bork
You Know Nothing
Member
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Gross dude at 7/11 following me around asking for my number and telling me all the shit he could do to and for me.
He grabbed my wrist and I opened my blouse to show I was carrying to give him an idea of what he needed to do.
I thought you weren't allowed to carry firearms anymore?
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Not at work.Like I can't stand armed watches.
I still carry my personal gun everywhere.
That's slightly disconcerting that the rules work that way.
Best song for alarm clock ever
Last 90 seconds of 1812 overture
Last 90 seconds of 1812 overture
conservative family so gotta pass for the time being. when i move out and get a new job though i'll be able to move on from them forever!
till the next family gathering
trab pu kcip
Member
what an asshole. makes me wish we could carry guns in Germany.
Got plans already lined up?
lol
do you carry mace?
also try carrying a big brother around. like 8 years ago (when I was admittedly a lot more aggressive) a random guy walked by my sister and pulled her top down
I lit him up pretty good
Let the record show that I, Vazra, being of sound mind, decent dick size and the occasional corny lewd joke. *Looks around confused* Do not read this post into evidence in the case against me because I'm being judged by a jury of Gaffers, I will attempt to insert `breh' and `literally' into my confession as much as possible. So here it goes... I confess I'm, in no small part, to blame for the vociferous gossip that has me turned into an online slut. For anyone hoping that the steamy details of my pervy past will provide you with a reason to lock the door and make love to a dollop of your sister's moisturizing lotion you'll be gravely pleased. Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to do that, than to broadcast it on FakeGAF.
So, here it is -- Part One: The Cringe-Inducing and Lewd, However Totally True Account Of How I Baited a Straight Gaffer That Got Me a $24.99 Steam Game. Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story.This is my side, the right one.
Like, literally brehs...
It all started in the morning of May 2nd, 2016. It was literally a rainy day and I was lonely in my room reading FakeGAF and the brehs were talking about cats and bad movies when all of the sudden lewd talk started. I joined that lewd talk and made plenty of stories to entertain the thread when all of the sudden I see that I have a PM and I feel like it might be a mod warning me about my posts and start sweating bullets hoping is not one of those. When I click and see is literally [redacted] saying he was curious about some things I have said in my stories and how open I were to explore things sexually. I proceed to tell him that I'm and open book and that he could ask all he wanted and brehs did he asked stuff. After an hour of going back and forth with PMs I told him "Dude if you have Skype it might be easier to talk there" and he proceeds to give me his information and we quickly go back at talking about all the sexual stuff he was curious about.
*30 minutes later of more lewd questions*
"Why are you so curious? Wanting to experiment with guys?" I said to [redacted] and he disappears for like literally 5 minutes brehs. He comes back and tells me that he has been following my posts often and he feels that I awakened some things inside of him he didn't thought it was possible. I for one wasn't shocked since I know I'm full of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent (You can call it C.U.N.T) and I ask him what did he wanted to do. He seems to struggle typing what he wanted to tell me by constantly typing "I..." a few times and often leaving sentences unfinished. I tell him "Breh like you can literally tell me and I won't be weirded out. I'm literally chill breh" and he says he wants to have sex with me and a lot of things Ive said in my stories and how badly he wants it that he is literally buying tickets to Puerto Rico to find me and do it. As I said I was chill but a bit surprised someone got so invested in my stories to get that hot and bothered to spend some hundreds to visit me to pop his gay breh cherry. I tell him "If you do come here I'm gonna make sure you have the time of your life" and he tells me he needs to rush to the airport to get into the fastest flight and I wish him a nice trip and to call me as soon as he gets to Puerto Rico but before he left he gifted me Melty Blood: Actress Again Current Code saying "So you can stay entertained while you wait for me".
As the hours pass I play Melty Blood: Actress Again Current Code, keep posting on GAF and joking with people and someone notices [redacted] has been missing for a few hours and he is actually a pretty active member and people started to worry. I didn't knew if I should tell them what was going on since the thing [redacted] was doing was between us and I was pretty sure he rather not say a thing about it unless he liked it and felt like he was going to keep going at it. I stop posting and go to the airport to pick up [redacted] and while I wait I decide to read GAF again and my inbox has been flooded with messages asking if I'm okay and say that [redacted] has been missing from the thread too and thought there was literally a connection to the events there. I look at the thread and rumors started flooding the thread about me and [redacted] doing things and I don't know if I should tell him about it or not as soon as he arrives.
[If you wish to read Part Two - How I Banged A Gaffer and How He Banged Me Back (Spoiler Tagged Edition) please request it and I will literally post it later today brehs]
So, here it is -- Part One: The Cringe-Inducing and Lewd, However Totally True Account Of How I Baited a Straight Gaffer That Got Me a $24.99 Steam Game. Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story.This is my side, the right one.
Like, literally brehs...
It all started in the morning of May 2nd, 2016. It was literally a rainy day and I was lonely in my room reading FakeGAF and the brehs were talking about cats and bad movies when all of the sudden lewd talk started. I joined that lewd talk and made plenty of stories to entertain the thread when all of the sudden I see that I have a PM and I feel like it might be a mod warning me about my posts and start sweating bullets hoping is not one of those. When I click and see is literally [redacted] saying he was curious about some things I have said in my stories and how open I were to explore things sexually. I proceed to tell him that I'm and open book and that he could ask all he wanted and brehs did he asked stuff. After an hour of going back and forth with PMs I told him "Dude if you have Skype it might be easier to talk there" and he proceeds to give me his information and we quickly go back at talking about all the sexual stuff he was curious about.
*30 minutes later of more lewd questions*
"Why are you so curious? Wanting to experiment with guys?" I said to [redacted] and he disappears for like literally 5 minutes brehs. He comes back and tells me that he has been following my posts often and he feels that I awakened some things inside of him he didn't thought it was possible. I for one wasn't shocked since I know I'm full of Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent (You can call it C.U.N.T) and I ask him what did he wanted to do. He seems to struggle typing what he wanted to tell me by constantly typing "I..." a few times and often leaving sentences unfinished. I tell him "Breh like you can literally tell me and I won't be weirded out. I'm literally chill breh" and he says he wants to have sex with me and a lot of things Ive said in my stories and how badly he wants it that he is literally buying tickets to Puerto Rico to find me and do it. As I said I was chill but a bit surprised someone got so invested in my stories to get that hot and bothered to spend some hundreds to visit me to pop his gay breh cherry. I tell him "If you do come here I'm gonna make sure you have the time of your life" and he tells me he needs to rush to the airport to get into the fastest flight and I wish him a nice trip and to call me as soon as he gets to Puerto Rico but before he left he gifted me Melty Blood: Actress Again Current Code saying "So you can stay entertained while you wait for me".
As the hours pass I play Melty Blood: Actress Again Current Code, keep posting on GAF and joking with people and someone notices [redacted] has been missing for a few hours and he is actually a pretty active member and people started to worry. I didn't knew if I should tell them what was going on since the thing [redacted] was doing was between us and I was pretty sure he rather not say a thing about it unless he liked it and felt like he was going to keep going at it. I stop posting and go to the airport to pick up [redacted] and while I wait I decide to read GAF again and my inbox has been flooded with messages asking if I'm okay and say that [redacted] has been missing from the thread too and thought there was literally a connection to the events there. I look at the thread and rumors started flooding the thread about me and [redacted] doing things and I don't know if I should tell him about it or not as soon as he arrives.
[If you wish to read Part Two - How I Banged A Gaffer and How He Banged Me Back (Spoiler Tagged Edition) please request it and I will literally post it later today brehs]
uhhh sorta not exactly. just that any day now I'm going to get an apartment and go from there
a plan to room with one of my friends fell through unfortunately so i'm not entirely sure how i want to do it now
Well now you have to post part 2.
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