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FakeGAF Book 4: A Game of Thirst
- Thread starter WhereAreMahDragonz
- Start date
- Status
I have never shit the bed before
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
Well I mean it's technically Shrove Tuesday but no-one except the religious care about that
My ex accidentally sharted the bed once while she was sick with some kinda food poisoning, but I haven't.
IM SEEING A PATTERN
Girls shit beds?
You Know Nothing
Member
Hey, I commiserate. I've shat the bed before.
Admittedly it wasn't during sex or anything. But during a particularly nasty bout with the stomach flu several years ago.
INDUBITABLY!
You Know Nothing
Member
I PROVE YOUR HYPOTHESIS INCORRECT.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
now the common thread is people attracted to men
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
Fuck you guys I miss my dad
He'd make me pancakes
<3
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Fucking around with men leads to a shitty life, confirmed.
Apparently.
smokeandmirrors
Banned
i bought stardew valley last night and it's all i can think about right now. i need to play
You Know Nothing
Member
the farm will consuuuuuume you.
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
I'm gonna go to Dunks and y'all ain't invited
You Know Nothing
Member
I mainly remember the writhing around until I puked my guts out. Then I'd sleep for a while. Then the whole cycle would repeat.
Truly hell.
this is where I tell my one really good poop story:
years ago, some friends and I decided to road trip to New Orleans to see the band Interpol play. Having never been to New Orleans I did the very amatuer thing and get completely black out drunk on hurricanes as soon as we rolled in at around 10am. It was an ugly thing. I was apparently puking and pissing on myself for hours. Mid-afternoon (from what my people tell me) we get back to the hotel. They strip my clothes off and throw me in bed. I wake up early evening, naked and my white shets covered in red vomit. The first words out of my mouth were "who had the abortion?". We scramble together and grab a cab to see Interpol. We barely make it on time. I'm feeling terrible but I get through the show.
At this time I was also having a long distance relationship with this girl in east texas. So like an idiot, after the show we go back to the hotel. I pick up my car and drive to east texas leaving my friends to party in new orleans. I'm still feeling somewhat sick at this point. I see the girl for about a day. During this time she had some family reunion scheduled. I meet her whole family. There is a crazy amount of texas style bbq. I try everything. This was my first mistake. So after the day was through I drive back to new orleans which took about 4-5 hours.
Now, I don't know if you've ever driven on I-10 between new orleans and east texas but it's essentially swamp for miles. Just nothing. About 2 hours into the drive my stomach starts gurgling. I know this isn't going to be good. I keep driving. praying that there is some kind of rest area. Nothing. At this point my anus is about to explode. The hurricane/bbq meat cocktail that was brewing in my stomach was at critical mass. I pull over. Descend into the woods. Pull down my pants and release the contents of my intestines.
Sweet relief. And then I saw it. I missed. I apparently did not stick my ass out far enough because the bundle of pants around my ankles was covered in the most vile shit I have ever seen.
In summary, I have never shit in my pants but I sure as hell have shit ON my pants.
epilogue:
after shitting on my pants I leave the foul article of clothing to rot in the swamp. I run up to my car without any pants or underwear on thus giving all passing cars a nice clear view of my buttocks and/or dick. I scramble through my suitcase and find socks to wipe my dirty ass with. Ditch those dirty socks on the side of the road and continue my journey back to new orleans.
fin'
years ago, some friends and I decided to road trip to New Orleans to see the band Interpol play. Having never been to New Orleans I did the very amatuer thing and get completely black out drunk on hurricanes as soon as we rolled in at around 10am. It was an ugly thing. I was apparently puking and pissing on myself for hours. Mid-afternoon (from what my people tell me) we get back to the hotel. They strip my clothes off and throw me in bed. I wake up early evening, naked and my white shets covered in red vomit. The first words out of my mouth were "who had the abortion?". We scramble together and grab a cab to see Interpol. We barely make it on time. I'm feeling terrible but I get through the show.
At this time I was also having a long distance relationship with this girl in east texas. So like an idiot, after the show we go back to the hotel. I pick up my car and drive to east texas leaving my friends to party in new orleans. I'm still feeling somewhat sick at this point. I see the girl for about a day. During this time she had some family reunion scheduled. I meet her whole family. There is a crazy amount of texas style bbq. I try everything. This was my first mistake. So after the day was through I drive back to new orleans which took about 4-5 hours.
Now, I don't know if you've ever driven on I-10 between new orleans and east texas but it's essentially swamp for miles. Just nothing. About 2 hours into the drive my stomach starts gurgling. I know this isn't going to be good. I keep driving. praying that there is some kind of rest area. Nothing. At this point my anus is about to explode. The hurricane/bbq meat cocktail that was brewing in my stomach was at critical mass. I pull over. Descend into the woods. Pull down my pants and release the contents of my intestines.
Sweet relief. And then I saw it. I missed. I apparently did not stick my ass out far enough because the bundle of pants around my ankles was covered in the most vile shit I have ever seen.
In summary, I have never shit in my pants but I sure as hell have shit ON my pants.
epilogue:
after shitting on my pants I leave the foul article of clothing to rot in the swamp. I run up to my car without any pants or underwear on thus giving all passing cars a nice clear view of my buttocks and/or dick. I scramble through my suitcase and find socks to wipe my dirty ass with. Ditch those dirty socks on the side of the road and continue my journey back to new orleans.
fin'
smokeandmirrors
Banned
it's international womens day and of course all the internet fuccbois are like WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ
fucking hell
fucking hell
well there's president's day for one
though hopefully that'll change next january
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
Feeling kind of sad
Don't know why
Bleh
Don't know why
Bleh
You Know Nothing
Member
Back then no. But now, yes. I hate that feeling. I've mainly done it after drinking a bit too much, and when I can feel the nausea and dry mouth setting in.
This is one shitty story. (I laughed.)
What about white history month?!
Where is my straight pride?!
Waiting for Fat Pride and I Got 2 Legs Pride.
You Know Nothing
Member
Oh pls it's not all bad. Hour daughter is adorable and you're a vadass mom with guns and a two thousand dollar couch
Secretly stalk them on facebook of course.
Was feeling super down this morning, but then I listened to Sleater-Kinney's "The Woods" from start to finish and felt fucking great.
So do that.
Secretly stalk them in real life?
Then build analogs for them out of sacks of potatoes and cabbage heads and talk to them as if they're the real people whose lives you've memorised through your stalking until one day it's not enough to have just a cabbage head to represent them so you go and kill a few to bring back their real heads?
Huh... when I type that out it sounds awful.
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
Played guitar very loudly for like half an hour, feeling a bit better
Emo > whatever garbage you like
Never got into Sleater-Kinney, though this has reminded me that I have a default "I feel like shit" album to listen to
*puts on No Matter Where We Go...! by Latterman*
Eurgh
Nah
Emo > whatever garbage you like
What do you actually like btw, I like knowing people's tastes
Never got into Sleater-Kinney, though this has reminded me that I have a default "I feel like shit" album to listen to
*puts on No Matter Where We Go...! by Latterman*
Eurgh
trab pu kcip
Member
smokeandmirrors
Banned
funnily enough there is an international mens day on nov 19
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