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[kid ness]

Hey there GAF, hoping you guys can help me out with this one.

I take some music classes down at a school near me a few days every week. It's really small, there's always one or two girls sitting at a desk by the front door to greet people who come and go, and just chill there and answer questions.

One day on my way out I tell the two girls that are sitting there good night like I normally do, and right before I'm about to walk out they stop me. Apparently they thought I looked really familiar and was someone famous, and asked me if I was. Being not famous at all, I built up a lot and joked around until finally admitting I wasn't, and they laughed a bit. It's been two weeks or so and whenever I see either of them I have a nice, quick conversation as I'm on my way to class.

Here's the thing; I'm really interested in one of the girls, she's really cute, funny, has a great smile, etc and I'd like to get to know her better. She seems really receptive at my jokes and smiles a lot when we talk-- I just read The Game and guess thats an IOI. But I'm taking classes at this place for at least another year and wouldn't want to make things awkward, especially by asking her out during work, or if she says no and I'd have to walk by her three times a week for a year with an awkward hello.

A few pages ago Acid08 posted that he took a piece of paper and wrote his number on it, and said to a girl, "I know this is really corny, but I think you're really cute and I'd love to take you out for a drink." I'm thinking of doing something like that, but I'm just not sure if it's worth it due to the awkward possibilities. I'm not at afraid of rejection, just making things uncomfortable.

Update: Today she was alone at the desk. Backstory: She thought I was someone famous originally and I told her I wasn't, and the next day I walked in and she asked for my autograph.

So today, on my way out, I ask her for a pen and paper (she's at the front desk) so I can practice that autograph again. Write my number on it and sign it, and I said "I know this is corny but I think you're really cute and would love to take you out for a drink." She was flattered and seemed to be receptive. Of course my buddy walked in right afterwards :lol

But my question now is, if she doesn't text me or anything, is that a sign she's not interested? Or should I ask her next time I see her?

 

[lawlohwhat]

Update: Today she was alone at the desk. Backstory: She thought I was someone famous originally and I told her I wasn't, and the next day I walked in and she asked for my autograph.

So today, on my way out, I ask her for a pen and paper (she's at the front desk) so I can practice that autograph again. Write my number on it and sign it, and I said "I know this is corny but I think you're really cute and would love to take you out for a drink." She was flattered and seemed to be receptive. Of course my buddy walked in right afterwards :lol

But my question now is, if she doesn't text me or anything, is that a sign she's not interested? Or should I ask her next time I see her?

Sounds to me like you played it perfectly. The best part about giving out your number like that is that you don't have to worry about it at all. If she's interested she will contact you. If she doesn't, it's not awkward to see her again unless you think it is.

 

[EXGN]

Update: Today she was alone at the desk. Backstory: She thought I was someone famous originally and I told her I wasn't, and the next day I walked in and she asked for my autograph.

So today, on my way out, I ask her for a pen and paper (she's at the front desk) so I can practice that autograph again. Write my number on it and sign it, and I said "I know this is corny but I think you're really cute and would love to take you out for a drink." She was flattered and seemed to be receptive. Of course my buddy walked in right afterwards :lol

But my question now is, if she doesn't text me or anything, is that a sign she's not interested? Or should I ask her next time I see her?

I guess that's the shitty part of the bargain. What you did was real smooth, but you're flipping established gender roles - guys are supposed to be the ones taking initiative and setting up dates, not women. At least if she calls and asks you out, you'll know she's REALLY into you.

 

[hipgnosis]

Going iceskating fridaynight.

If I'm lacking the balls again to kiss her, I'll just think about what I felt the last time I was interested in a girl, but because I never took the next step, she ended up with someone else.

NOT going to make that mistake again. Besides, won't be seeing her for a month or so after that, so I have the momentum now. Just going to tell her that I'm going to miss her or whatevs and go for it.

Yeah you gotta go for it, you don't want to be friendzoned. There is obviously interest there since you've had multiple dates, I don't think the girl will mind if you give her a little kiss. I went for the kiss on the second date with the girl I'm seeing now and with every date kissing has become more relaxed. After a while it's not a big deal anymore and you feel more comfortable around each other.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Since some of you asked, here's my OKC profile. Go ahead and give advice if you have any. As I mentioned before, the messages I'm sending seem to resonate and they're checking out my profile, but I'm not hearing anything back.

I know that there are some things people will say I need to get rid of to have a better chance (Reddit's "guide" argues that you should never mention some things on your profile, period), but I'm not sure, for example, I want to just delete the fact that I do like gaming off my profile, only to end up going on dates with people that think its some kind of terrible thing. That's more of a waste of my time than leaving it in there and getting fewer responses, but at least have those responses be from people who aren't immediately turned off by that.

That, and I don't want to feel like I'm embarrassed or have to hide anything, only for my dates to find out later (surprise!). I'd much rather be honest outfront than try to hide things from people because that's what I used to do and it was awful. I never want to go back to that.

I know the one thing I need to do is more pictures than the three I have on there and I'm working on that. Unfortunately, I'm not very good looking, so I have to do my best to make sure they're good photos.

 

[soultron]

I guess that's the shitty part of the bargain. What you did was real smooth, but you're flipping established gender roles - guys are supposed to be the ones taking initiative and setting up dates, not women. At least if she calls and asks you out, you'll know she's REALLY into you.

I disagree. You can (and should) fully take control when she contacts you, setting the date and the time.

 

[Jhoan]

Guys (and girl GAF if you're lurking in this thread; I want your thoughts too), I have a question for you all: Would it be weird if I leave a chick a small Post It note with a few small words and my number one of her paintings? The reason that I ask is because the last critique of my painting class just ended and the chick in question is in another lab; I saw her, but I'm another lab room. So basically, I think I'm terrible at asking for chicks' numbers, so I was thinking of resorting to this. Oh and by the way, we share the same painting racks hence why I'm asking. I don't think we're gonna run into each other after this with it being finals week and all. I think she's been showing interest in me, but I've been oblivious to it, so I'd figure I'd better stay in touch with her.

Also a slightly related note, I ran into the girl that I went to a club with several months ago yesterday (why I keep bumping into her, I have absolutely no idea; maybe it's a sign). She was extremely aggressive in a flirty way by hitting me (I didn't reciprocate) and kept saying that I was gonna get her fired from her job. I was teasing her a bit. We exchanged numbers (again) with her saying that she changed her number, has been busy with school so she apologized to me saying that she never got back to me (I dunno why, but o.k.), which I was totally cool about. She told me where specifically she worked at (I knew it was in the Writing Center, just not the room), and we departed ways. So yeah, there's still a glimmer of hope for me with this chick even though I have a cold sore at the moment.

Any way, thanks for the advice and the comments; I'm looking forward to reading them.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

You're making excuses by saying "Oh, I want to talk to her but she's with her friends" or "I'm gonna go talk to her as soon as she takes her earphones off." The three-second rule, from my understanding, is in place so you don't mind fuck yourself like that.

Just go up to her and say "Hey, I'm trying to hit on you, pause your song for a second." It's gonna feel awkward as fuck, but once you do it you'll realize how trivial your excuses are.

Ha ha, I suppose you're right. Keep on encouraging me guys, hopefully sooner or later I'll figure out how I can pull this off.

 

[GiJoccin]

what's with all these leaving notes questions? ask her for her number straight up. it's supposed to be awkward. the more you do it the less awkward it gets. and it doesn't take that many attempts before it becomes second nature.

leaving your number works only in a few select instances, and even in those, you'd probably be better off asking in person

 

[ACE 1991]

Just to put it in context, I've posted about my situation a few times in the last couple of days: I drunk texted a girl I've been close with for most of the semester finally telling her how I feel about her; she told me she doesn't know how she feels partly because she had no idea I had strong feelings for her in the first place.


Well I certainly learned a lot from all the fucking up I did here, I ended up explaining to her that I still do want to remain good friends with her (I do mean that) but I'm not going to wait around for her to make up mind; I added that for whatever it's worth I do still believe that we really would be good together for a lot of reasons, so if she ever decides it's something she wishes to pursue I would be willing to as well She told me that she thinks we could be good together too, but she'd need to be sure about it.

Basically, like I said, I'm done being hung up. Still, I feel like it would be foolish to close any doors for us in the future, and she seems to feel similarly. At the very least I don't think I'm so much in the friend-zone anymore, so whatever happens happens. Did I handle this correctly?

/endrant

Just quoting myself, I want to make sure I'm going into this with the right kind of mentality.

 

[Kad5]

I texted the girl from last night who called me. I asked if she wanted to meet up next week or over the weekend and she said next week would be best.

Now she's asking me what I wanna do.

Any ideas guys?

I don't necessarily want a relationship but I am down for hooking up at the least. A relationship is fine too.

 

[Jhoan]

what's with all these leaving notes questions? ask her for her number straight up. it's supposed to be awkward. the more you do it the less awkward it gets. and it doesn't take that many attempts before it becomes second nature.

leaving your number works only in a few select instances, and even in those, you'd probably be better off asking in person

That's true; I've done it before and it came out natural like with the other chick yesterday. I did something similar to the letter thing before. Let's just say that it was stupid and it didn't work at all. I have anticipatory fear and a bit of a self-defeating mentality in that I tell myself that no chick is interested in me enough to want to stay in touch with me. I have to change that.

I don't think I'm gonna see her again unless it's in the halls next semester or she ends up in one of my other art classes. Assuming she's still in the other lab, then maybe I could chat her up for a bit, tell her that we should hang out one of these days and go for it. I'll go check in a bit, otherwise, I'm not holding my breath. Unless again, I bump into her while I'm in the rack room taking my paintings.

EDIT: I did go check if she was there on my way out. She was, but I'd figure I'd just wait until I get back. So fast forward fifteen minutes later, I check again on my way in; she was gone. Lesson learned: don't put off something you want to do because otherwise, it's gonna go down the drain and you're gonna kick yourself over it for not having done it (such as not going to school clubs or parties). In this context, I should have talked to her on my way out, then taken a break. No biggie I suppose, although I do admit, I was rolling it over in my head on how I was gonna do it. Oh well, if I see her some time between this week and the next one, then I'll do it even if I'm drenching in sweat with fear. Otherwise, if I bump into her in the halls next semester I'll do it then. There's still plenty of other chicks out there waiting for me.

 

[faulty_fork]

Since some of you asked, here's my OKC profile. Go ahead and give advice if you have any. As I mentioned before, the messages I'm sending seem to resonate and they're checking out my profile, but I'm not hearing anything back.

I know that there are some things people will say I need to get rid of to have a better chance (Reddit's "guide" argues that you should never mention some things on your profile, period), but I'm not sure, for example, I want to just delete the fact that I do like gaming off my profile, only to end up going on dates with people that think its some kind of terrible thing. That's more of a waste of my time than leaving it in there and getting fewer responses, but at least have those responses be from people who aren't immediately turned off by that.

That, and I don't want to feel like I'm embarrassed or have to hide anything, only for my dates to find out later (surprise!). I'd much rather be honest outfront than try to hide things from people because that's what I used to do and it was awful. I never want to go back to that.

I know the one thing I need to do is more pictures than the three I have on there and I'm working on that. Unfortunately, I'm not very good looking, so I have to do my best to make sure they're good photos.

You can't say that you dislike everything Twilight, you're alienating like half of the female population . I only skimmed through it, but it seemed fine to me. You could probably try to focus less on the things you don't like doing in the summary, gives a more positive impression if you just leave it out. I agree with you though that taking some better photos should be your first priority, keep the one with your friends though .

 

[TheVampire]

Guys I need help with the SEX


I’ve been seeing this girl now for a few weeks now.
First date was just dinner. No physical contact.
Second date was bowling and a drink afterwards. Held hands afterwards when walking back to car.
Third date was lunch then a walk in the park while holding hands and we kissed twice.
Fourth date was meeting up to go Christmas shopping. After that we went for a walk holding hands again (didn’t bother to kiss when back at the carpark since I remember from the first date carpark kissing is a no no)
Fifth date - this weekend and it’s probably going to be dinner and then going out at night to look at Christmas lights (should be nice and romantic)

She lives at home with her family and so do I.

She seems pretty keen on me as she tells me she has a great time, likes getting to know me better, have good conversations, have kissed etc...

But how does all this lead up to sex?
I assume that’s her ultimate goal like mine but we can’t do it at each of our houses and I don’t know how she would feel about the back seat of my car lol.

I’m predicting lots of heavy making out this weekend when we go out that night but never know about the sex. The only scenario i can think of is like a month or two later when we have both met each others family and then doing it at home once things are more comfortable.

Any advice?

 

[NihonTiger90]

You can't say that you dislike everything Twilight, you're alienating like half of the female population . I only skimmed through it, but it seemed fine to me. You could probably try to focus less on the things you don't like doing in the summary, gives a more positive impression if you just leave it out. I agree with you though that taking some better photos should be your first priority, keep the one with your friends though .

haha, I fixed that bit. And yeah, the photos thing I will work on over the month or two; no rush, but there will be some opportunities this holiday season.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Since some of you asked, here's my OKC profile. Go ahead and give advice if you have any. As I mentioned before, the messages I'm sending seem to resonate and they're checking out my profile, but I'm not hearing anything back.

Your profile is too long. Lose the politics and pets. Don't say you're trying to lose weight; just say you're active. Mentioning video games doesn't matter because you like a ton of stuff and when people see lists, they'll mostly gloss over them.

Stuff you shouldn't emphasize so much: that you like hanging out with your friends, doing stuff outdoors, and how you're fun and optimistic. No one is interested in a sad person so no one will say that they are.

As for the picture from 2006, don't say it's from 2006. Just say "Japan", and what you're doing.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Date went great tonight.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Hahaha, redeemed myself tonight and got this other girl's number. When I'm sober I am meek; when I have even a beer in me I am fearless!

 

[NihonTiger90]

Your profile is too long. Lose the politics and pets. Don't say you're trying to lose weight; just say you're active. Mentioning video games doesn't matter because you like a ton of stuff and when people see lists, they'll mostly gloss over them.

Stuff you shouldn't emphasize so much: that you like hanging out with your friends, doing stuff outdoors, and how you're fun and optimistic. No one is interested in a sad person so no one will say that they are.

As for the picture from 2006, don't say it's from 2006. Just say "Japan", and what you're doing.

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm trimming the profile a bit; it's a never ending process just to make sure it's the best it can be ... or it feels like that, hah. Seems you're kinda saying "Lose the generic crap" which is a good thing.

 

[Dilly]

Just in case, anything wrong with asking how'd she feel about me kissing her?

I'll try to be spontaneous with the kiss, but just in case.

 

[BocoDragon]

Guys I need help... I just had the best first date ever. We met for the first time and after several hours got into making out, etc. That was pretty much the perfect level to escalate to at this point - I'm meeting her tomorrow. Here's the problem: After a few drinks, I'm pretty sure that I promised to go with her to the Muppet movie... how do I get out of this

 

[sk3]

Just in case, anything wrong with asking how'd she feel about me kissing her?

I'll try to be spontaneous with the kiss, but just in case.

There's only one thing worse than not going for it, and that is asking for it. Just do it.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Fucking HATE CONDOMS!!!!!

 

[Dilly]

There's only one thing worse than not going for it, and that is asking for it. Just do it.

lame

 

[manipulate]

Fucking HATE CONDOMS!!!!!

i know that feel bro. i know that feel.

 

[U n i o n 0015]

Guys I need help... I just had the best first date ever. We met for the first time and after several hours got into making out, etc. That was pretty much the perfect level to escalate to at this point - I'm meeting her tomorrow. Here's the problem: After a few drinks, I'm pretty sure that I promised to go with her to the Muppet movie... how do I get out of this

The Muppets was awesome and the girl will most definitely dig you for going with her. Man up!

 

[Houston3000]

Guys I need help... I just had the best first date ever. We met for the first time and after several hours got into making out, etc. That was pretty much the perfect level to escalate to at this point - I'm meeting her tomorrow. Here's the problem: After a few drinks, I'm pretty sure that I promised to go with her to the Muppet movie... how do I get out of this

Hadn't seen it yet but it's suppose to be a good movie

 

[CF_Fighter]

The Muppets was awesome and the girl will most definitely dig you for going with her. Man up!

Not loving the Muppets is like not loving America, just go.

 

[Aegus]

So Gaf, a new girl at my work started recently (I interviewed her) and she's really nice. We get along really well, I make her laugh frequently etc. Now besides my obvious interest in her, she has a boyfriend.

Should I just abandon all hope or just play it cool? I don't want to be friend zoned.

 

[johnny_park]

Just in case, anything wrong with asking how'd she feel about me kissing her?

I'll try to be spontaneous with the kiss, but just in case.

Nothing wrong with asking.

 

[hipgnosis]

Nothing wrong with asking.

Except it is pretty damn boring. Make it exciting for both of you and go for it spontaneously.

 

[omgkitty]

So I have a problem GAF. Whereas I have plenty of my own issues with the opposite sex, this isn't about me. My friend has been dating this girl for close to 4 years now and everything has been going great. They almost never argue and seem to be happy all the time. He's never shown them as having any issues besides little stupid things. Starting last night he got weird on me.

I finished up my final exam last night and should graduate next week. I decided to call him up because I wanted to celebrate in some way. He pushed me off and said that he didn't feel good and would talk to me later. I took this as him being in a bad mood for whatever reason. I texted this morning and he seemed to be pretty fazed by something. He finally tells me that his girlfriend called him and told him that she wanted a break and needed to be single again. She has given no inclinations before, and just dropped this out of nowhere. They made a decision not to talk to each other until next Monday where she would give her answer.

He graduated in May and has been home ever since with her living about 150 miles away still at school. He goes there almost every weekend for football games and stays the night spending time with her. Because of this, it's not like they are apart for any prolonged period of time. Honestly I don't really know what's going on here or if there is anything deeper at play that I am not being told by my friend. Honestly, I think she may be cheating. I don't know how as I don't think she's really that attractive and she's kind of a bipolar bitch at times, so I can't say that I am too sad about this, but I feel bad for my friend. This was basically one of those relationships where most people assumed they would be married at some point, including me. It's even been mentioned several times by both of them.

I figured my job was to get him out of the house and keep his mind off of it until Monday, including the fact that I don't just want to sit at home all weekend as well (this could possibly be seen as selfish, I know). He vehemently refuses to do anything. He says he just wants to "chill" at home and refuses to go out anywhere. He's never been through anything like this before, but I know sitting at home moping doesn't solve any problems. It doesn't help that he's kind of a person who doesn't do something unless he wants to.

I'm not really sure what to do now. I don't want to leave him alone at home, but I also really don't want to push him too hard and get in the middle of the situation, but he's my best friend so I have to help him. Help me GAF. What do I do?

 

[Jamesfrom818]

So I have a problem GAF. Whereas I have plenty of my own issues with the opposite sex, this isn't about me. My friend has been dating this girl for close to 4 years now and everything has been going great. They almost never argue and seem to be happy all the time. He's never shown them as having any issues besides little stupid things. Starting last night he got weird on me.

I finished up my final exam last night and should graduate next week. I decided to call him up because I wanted to celebrate in some way. He pushed me off and said that he didn't feel good and would talk to me later. I took this as him being in a bad mood for whatever reason. I texted this morning and he seemed to be pretty fazed by something. He finally tells me that his girlfriend called him and told him that she wanted a break and needed to be single again. She has given no inclinations before, and just dropped this out of nowhere. They made a decision not to talk to each other until next Monday where she would give her answer.

He graduated in May and has been home ever since with her living about 150 miles away still at school. He goes there almost every weekend for football games and stays the night spending time with her. Because of this, it's not like they are apart for any prolonged period of time. Honestly I don't really know what's going on here or if there is anything deeper at play that I am not being told by my friend. Honestly, I think she may be cheating. I don't know how as I don't think she's really that attractive and she's kind of a bipolar bitch at times, so I can't say that I am too sad about this, but I feel bad for my friend. This was basically one of those relationships where most people assumed they would be married at some point, including me. It's even been mentioned several times by both of them.

I figured my job was to get him out of the house and keep his mind off of it until Monday, including the fact that I don't just want to sit at home all weekend as well (this could possibly be seen as selfish, I know). He vehemently refuses to do anything. He says he just wants to "chill" at home and refuses to go out anywhere. He's never been through anything like this before, but I know sitting at home moping doesn't solve any problems. It doesn't help that he's kind of a person who doesn't do something unless he wants to.

I'm not really sure what to do now. I don't want to leave him alone at home, but I also really don't want to push him too hard and get in the middle of the situation, but he's my best friend so I have to help him. Help me GAF. What do I do?

Not much you can do if he's so vehemently against it unless you want to put a bag over his head, toss him in a van and then drive to the nearest strip club.

 

[omgkitty]

Not much you can do if he's so vehemently against it unless you want to put a bag over his head, toss him in a van and then drive to the nearest strip club.

That's not a bad idea....need to get a van though. Seriously though, I don't see how sitting at home this weekend is going to help. She hasn't technically made up her mind yet, and just going out and not thinking about it seems like the best idea to me.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm trimming the profile a bit; it's a never ending process just to make sure it's the best it can be ... or it feels like that, hah. Seems you're kinda saying "Lose the generic crap" which is a good thing.

Nothing wrong with being generic (it means you're not creepy) but you want to emphasize what makes you different (i.e. better) than other guys.

So Gaf, a new girl at my work started recently (I interviewed her) and she's really nice. We get along really well, I make her laugh frequently etc. Now besides my obvious interest in her, she has a boyfriend.

Should I just abandon all hope or just play it cool? I don't want to be friend zoned.

Don't be that guy. She has a BF and you work together. Plus you interviewed her, which means you are her superior.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Guys I need help... I just had the best first date ever. We met for the first time and after several hours got into making out, etc. That was pretty much the perfect level to escalate to at this point - I'm meeting her tomorrow. Here's the problem: After a few drinks, I'm pretty sure that I promised to go with her to the Muppet movie... how do I get out of this

Why get out of it? The Muppets is supposed to be awesome and would be a fantastic date movie. Go and enjoy it!

So Gaf, a new girl at my work started recently (I interviewed her) and she's really nice. We get along really well, I make her laugh frequently etc. Now besides my obvious interest in her, she has a boyfriend.

Should I just abandon all hope or just play it cool? I don't want to be friend zoned.

Bail out. If you don't you're going to create copious amounts of emotional stress on yourself that you could've avoided in the first place. It's not worth it.

So I have a problem GAF. Whereas I have plenty of my own issues with the opposite sex, this isn't about me. My friend has been dating this girl for close to 4 years now and everything has been going great. They almost never argue and seem to be happy all the time. He's never shown them as having any issues besides little stupid things. Starting last night he got weird on me.

I finished up my final exam last night and should graduate next week. I decided to call him up because I wanted to celebrate in some way. He pushed me off and said that he didn't feel good and would talk to me later. I took this as him being in a bad mood for whatever reason. I texted this morning and he seemed to be pretty fazed by something. He finally tells me that his girlfriend called him and told him that she wanted a break and needed to be single again. She has given no inclinations before, and just dropped this out of nowhere. They made a decision not to talk to each other until next Monday where she would give her answer.

He graduated in May and has been home ever since with her living about 150 miles away still at school. He goes there almost every weekend for football games and stays the night spending time with her. Because of this, it's not like they are apart for any prolonged period of time. Honestly I don't really know what's going on here or if there is anything deeper at play that I am not being told by my friend. Honestly, I think she may be cheating. I don't know how as I don't think she's really that attractive and she's kind of a bipolar bitch at times, so I can't say that I am too sad about this, but I feel bad for my friend. This was basically one of those relationships where most people assumed they would be married at some point, including me. It's even been mentioned several times by both of them.

I figured my job was to get him out of the house and keep his mind off of it until Monday, including the fact that I don't just want to sit at home all weekend as well (this could possibly be seen as selfish, I know). He vehemently refuses to do anything. He says he just wants to "chill" at home and refuses to go out anywhere. He's never been through anything like this before, but I know sitting at home moping doesn't solve any problems. It doesn't help that he's kind of a person who doesn't do something unless he wants to.

I'm not really sure what to do now. I don't want to leave him alone at home, but I also really don't want to push him too hard and get in the middle of the situation, but he's my best friend so I have to help him. Help me GAF. What do I do?

Sounds like you're being a really good friend and unfortunately for him, he's too distraught to see that. Understandable considering what he's going through.

I definitely support the kidnapping idea. He'll hate you at first but enjoy himself by the end of it and be glad he did. Doesn't have to be a strip club but at the very least go somewhere that you guys can kick back and relax. If you don't want to do that, just bring some good beer over to his place and play some games/watch some sports. Anything to get his mind off her for a little bit. Keep fighting the good fight, man!

 

[Xun]

Guys I need help with the SEX


I’ve been seeing this girl now for a few weeks now.
First date was just dinner. No physical contact.
Second date was bowling and a drink afterwards. Held hands afterwards when walking back to car.
Third date was lunch then a walk in the park while holding hands and we kissed twice.
Fourth date was meeting up to go Christmas shopping. After that we went for a walk holding hands again (didn’t bother to kiss when back at the carpark since I remember from the first date carpark kissing is a no no)
Fifth date - this weekend and it’s probably going to be dinner and then going out at night to look at Christmas lights (should be nice and romantic)

She lives at home with her family and so do I.

She seems pretty keen on me as she tells me she has a great time, likes getting to know me better, have good conversations, have kissed etc...

But how does all this lead up to sex?
I assume that’s her ultimate goal like mine but we can’t do it at each of our houses and I don’t know how she would feel about the back seat of my car lol.

I’m predicting lots of heavy making out this weekend when we go out that night but never know about the sex. The only scenario i can think of is like a month or two later when we have both met each others family and then doing it at home once things are more comfortable.

Any advice?

I noticed no one responded, but I'd suggest going to a hotel personally.

Oh and as for news from me, nothing at all as usual.

The last year of college took everything out of me mentally, and my confidence has completely vanished for everything.

It's a shame because I was getting better at the end of the 2nd year, but the 3rd year just fucked me up big time.

 

[soultron]

Xun, you don't have to be on 100% of the time. You can take a break from women/dating if you feel mentally exhausted. The important thing though, have you learned and noticed a change in yourself since you actively started trying to change your situation with women?

 

[Solideliquid]

When she says, "I don't think you love me" what are my options?

 

[soultron]

When she says, "I don't think you love me" what are my options?

Do you love her?

 

[overcast]

I got a small cold sore on my lip a few days back. I haven't kissed my GF cause of it. I'm not going to survive another 2-3 days..

 

[Gaaraz]

a

 

[Miguel]

Oh lord, apparently there's a jealous ex being a total bitch about me posting on her wall "so soon" (4+ months?) after them breaking up. It's "disrespectful"... bwahaha. She asked me to block him on fb and I kind of laughed and didn't do anything. Then she grabbed my laptop and blocked him on my fb page. I promptly removed it after she handed it back. I don't care if someone else can't get over their shit, I'm not going to hide anything from anyone, ex or not.

Apparently tonight, she (they?) were at IHOP tonight, and he got arrested outside, not entirely sure why. This was not something I was quite prepared for, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some ahole start shit because he's being a bitch. Not sure if they went together, or if she checked in on fb and then he showed up or what the deal was, not really important... the important thing is that he's gonna need to get the fuck out of the way.

Developing...

 

[tranciful]

Friend seems to have a crush on me, I'm not really interested a relationship with her but I'd probably be down to fool around. Any advice on how I might be able to test the waters and see if she's game? I don't want to mislead her. I'd be happy to be in a relationship.. just not with her -- so I figure there's a decent chance I'd hurt her if she was hoping for a relationship and I was only interested in her physically until someone real came along. I do enjoy having her as a friend.

I've just been playing it safe and I'm thinking it'd be best if I just continue doing that; not let anything happen. Curious what you guys would say, though. I'm 25 she's 21

 

[soultron]

Oh lord, apparently there's a jealous ex being a total bitch about me posting on her wall "so soon" (4+ months?) after them breaking up. It's "disrespectful"... bwahaha. She asked me to block him on fb and I kind of laughed and didn't do anything. Then she grabbed my laptop and blocked him on my fb page. I promptly removed it after she handed it back. I don't care if someone else can't get over their shit, I'm not going to hide anything from anyone, ex or not.

Apparently tonight, she (they?) were at IHOP tonight, and he got arrested outside, not entirely sure why. This was not something I was quite prepared for, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some ahole start shit because he's being a bitch. Not sure if they went together, or if she checked in on fb and then he showed up or what the deal was, not really important... the important thing is that he's gonna need to get the fuck out of the way.

Developing...

I have no idea what the fuck is going on in this post. Clarification needed.

 

[Miguel]

He called her complaining about me posting on her facebook wall and her posting on mine, etc. Her idea to "fix it" was to for me to block him so he couldn't see my statuses/posts on her wall. I said "fuck that" and unblocked it. She needs to deal with it somehow. I'm not gonna let it simmer in the background and have it be a problem in the future. Nip it in the bud now. Better she deal with it now, than me have to deal with it later and her not liking the end result.

 

[tranciful]

He called her complaining about me posting on her facebook wall and her posting on mine, etc. Her idea to "fix it" was to for me to block him so he couldn't see my statuses/posts on her wall. I said "fuck that" and unblocked it. She needs to deal with it somehow. I'm not gonna let it simmer in the background and have it be a problem in the future. Nip it in the bud now. Better she deal with it now, than me have to deal with it later and her not liking the end result.

He should block you guys if he can't handle it. It's not your problem. It shouldn't be your gf's problem.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

When she says, "I don't think you love me" what are my options?

Actions speak louder than words.

 

[Miguel]

He should block you guys if he can't handle it. It's not your problem. It shouldn't be your gf's problem.

Considering he was arrested for some reason tonight outside of an IHOP, I'm guessing there's like -300% chance of that happening.

 

[tranciful]

Considering he was arrested for some reason tonight outside of an IHOP, I'm guessing there's like -300% chance of that happening.

That's his problem. You and your gf don't need to entertain his childish behavior. If you guys are ignoring him and he starts harassing you, that's what restraining orders are for (hopefully the threat of one is enough to get him to get on with his life).