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[Drealmcc0y]

So here's my story with a girl at work, im 21 and she's 19:

So i started work at a retail store behind the tills and shop floor. She does similar duties as me. We got on reasonably well at first and as time went on a little more so.

I never really felt she was interested in me as boyfriend material so i never made any advancements... that is until about 2 weeks ago her friend said "Dan you need a girlfriend" which i replied "maybe i should ask abby out" partly as a joke and partly(i suppose) as a means to which it would finally come out that I like her.

After that it all started to snowball. The next time I saw her I told her I liked her and her reaction was hard to judge. She said im sweet but couldnt look me in the eye. This clearly meant rejection in my eyes. It didnt help that her friend basically told me that she was "too busy" etc

So I moved on but instead of becoming awkward we gradually become closer than ever.

That leaves yesterday when she was totally coming on to me. Giving me all sorts of signals and she basically come out and said she liked me too. After what happened that day I felt pretty sure she was about as close to a girlfriend as you can get without having a date or anything.

So today at work, I tried my fucking best to not act clingy etc, just to talk and have fun. While we had of plenty of moments that felt good and i made her laugh etc something felt a little off. She said the day before not to tell anybody about us because rumours spread(which is true I heard some wierd stuff about the two people she dated, who worked there before.)

All in all.... I have nothing left but bullshit left in my brain to mull things over about what I did right and wrong.... which we all know is a horrible place to be in. I asked her to come shopping with me because I know she needed to buy a few more christmas presents but she said she doesnt get paid till next Friday... so this might still happen but im not sure.

 

[Minamu]

Any experience with wingmen overhyping you in front of a female? I think it may have happened to me last night

Haven't happened to me but I've seen it in Mystery's book etc, being done on purpose. In what way did it happen? If it's obviously really stupid, maybe just play along?

 

[Bryan1321]

So GAF

Whats the general opinion on asking for a date through facebook. I been trying to tel her personally but i have fouund it hard to do....

Its a bad a thing???

 

[ecurbj]

So GAF

Whats the general opinion on asking for a date through facebook. I been trying to tel her personally but i have fouund it hard to do....

Its a bad a thing???

What's the worst she can say if you just walk up to her and ask her? She will simply say yes or no. And if she says no. Take the rejection as her loss to having an awesome time with you and you move on to another beautiful girl that's out there in your area that you like.

Asking over Facebook seems to impersonal and doesn't show enough confidence on your part if you see her day in day out.

 

[Bryan1321]

What's the worst she can say if you just walk up to her and ask her? She will simply say yes or no. And if she says no. Take the rejection as her loss to having an awesome time with you and you move on to another beautiful girl that's out there in your area that you like.

Asking over Facebook seems to impersonal and doesn't show enough confidence on your part if you see her day in day out.

Thanks for the answer. I was just going to do the facebook thing. but sometime ago a gaffer told me, that i wasnt exposing myself.

Glad i didnt do that. Im going to her place to ask her out (not to her house)

Wish me luck. After all youre right, the only thing she sould say its yes or no

 

[enewtabie]

So GAF

Whats the general opinion on asking for a date through facebook. I been trying to tel her personally but i have fouund it hard to do....

Its a bad a thing???

Go for it. That's how I met my wife. We lived in the same town,went to the same school three years apart, but never met until Facebook. Got married in October.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Haven't happened to me but I've seen it in Mystery's book etc, being done on purpose. In what way did it happen? If it's obviously really stupid, maybe just play along?

Well backstory the girl I'm talking to (couple posts back) ran into me as soon as me and my boys were leaving the club. We then had some hot dogs at a food truck and while I was ordering food I overheard my friends talking about "ohh he's the nicest guy you will ever meet", "he's got his shit together, stable job, his own place "he's great with kids" blah blah blah. I just thought it was too much (I'm a pretty modest guy).

 

[TurboLibre]

Been there done that. Useless, the shrinks have just made out that I've done nothing wrong with these girls in the past and there's nothing fundamentally wrong with what I'm doing now. Like I said it makes it worse because I can't make something right if its not wrong in the first place. I was told I was suffering a bad case of 'bad luck'. I believe you make your own luck in life, so that was hard to swallow.

I can't even get help for depression because apparently my sadness is a direct result of what's happened to me. Its rational depression. If I was sad for no reason, I'd get help, but because its due to being shit on by horrible women, I have to get on with it. Professional help isn't what's needed, meeting people who are honest, dependable and decent is what I need. I've yet to be able to do that.

I know how that goes, I've been there most of my life. My only advice is to hold on because eventually you'll find people to change that mindset. I felt hopeless for the longest time because almost every person I allowed into my life would try to ruin it in some way. By the end I learned not to trust anyone and kept distancing myself from others. It made me very depressed, but every time I tried to change and tried to meet new people it backfired, which made me even more discouraged. I managed to find a group of people to break that cycle though.

Since it's related, I guess I'll do an update. I met a great group of friends recently that have helped me unlearn some of harsh lessons life has taught me. For once I see people caring about each other, doing what ever they can to help, and building each other up. Stuff I almost never saw before. Best of all, they're giving me a positive perspective on myself. I'm ridiculously harsh on myself so getting their opinion and unlearning some self-beliefs has been a game changer. On top of that, I'm starting to see the payoff from the years of work I've put in. Nothing huge yet, but it's been a gradual upswing and for once in my life things are finally looking up.

As for women, I may have caught the interest of a new co-worker. I mentioned it in the girl thread, but she's dragging me to the new Twilight. I was talking shit about it with my friend and she said I can't criticize something I haven't seen, and told me I should go see it with her. I told her I didn't really want to see the movie and she began to plead, saying things like "but I'll sit next to you". I said the only way I could see it is if I was hammered drunk and she said "Nope, but I'll buy you a drink afterwards". That won me over so I caved. The meetup is a little casual and in the "I don't know if it's a date or a friend thing" territory, but she's been sending signals for a while now so I have a good feeling she's digging me. Either way it's a step up, and will be an interesting night.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

It won't hurt to try. You'll probably dig yourself into the FZ, but don't let that discourage you.

Just remember that a number is typically higher up the chain of interest than Facebook. Next time, right?

That's what I figured; I don't carry my phone to work though, so I didn't really think to get her number.

 

[Sub_Level]

Should I make any contact with a girl after making plans with her? Its for this upcoming Wednesday.

 

[hipgnosis]

Should I make any contact with a girl after making plans with her? Its for this upcoming Wednesday.

How specific were your plans with her? I usually first confirm the day and when the day is nearing I call her the day before and make more detailed plans like where we meet and at what time etc. It is a nice way to say hello and make some contact before the date.

If your date is really specified I don't think it's necessary to make contact before it. If you feel like contacting her go for it but don't be too clingy. Contacting casually isn't bad.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Tkawesome, have you ever happened to watch any of the Simple Pickup videos? Particularly, the ones where the guys are actually lecturing, rather than out and hitting on girls? They're very great teachers--not only on the actual pickup but on fixing your state of mind.

 

[TurboLibre]

Tkawesome, have you ever happened to watch any of the Simple Pickup videos? Particularly, the ones where the guys are actually lecturing, rather than out and hitting on girls? They're very great teachers--not only on the actual pickup but on fixing your state of mind.

I saw a number of them but they didn't sit well with me. Which is funny because my personality would make me perfect for those type of approaches. Great for what it is, but the idea of trying to push yourself onto a complete stranger just isn't my thing.

 

[Beef]

Went on another first date a few days ago. The phrase "my boyfriend" comes up once or twice, and eventually it turned out that she was still living with him. I was like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." With that being said, she grinded all over me while dancing and tried to make out with me at the end of the "date." She later left me a voice mail asking me to do some shit with her on Sunday. Who does this girl think she is? You can't DATE someone else when you LIVE with your boyfriend.

Girls man, lol.

 

[Sub_Level]

How specific were your plans with her? I usually first confirm the day and when the day is nearing I call her the day before and make more detailed plans like where we meet and at what time etc. It is a nice way to say hello and make some contact before the date.

If your date is really specified I don't think it's necessary to make contact before it. If you feel like contacting her go for it but don't be too clingy. Contacting casually isn't bad.

I see. Thanks. I was pretty general about the details so I'll call her on Tuesday.

I had invited her to a BBQ through Facebook and it went really well. We snuggled and held hands for a bit too, it was awesome.

 

[thestopsign]

Went on another first date a few days ago. The phrase "my boyfriend" comes up once or twice, and eventually it turned out that she was still living with him. I was like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." With that being said, she grinded all over me while dancing and tried to make out with me at the end of the "date." She later left me a voice mail asking me to do some shit with her on Sunday. Who does this girl think she is? You can't DATE someone else when you LIVE with your boyfriend.

Girls man, lol.

Hit it and quit it if you can/want to.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Went on another first date a few days ago. The phrase "my boyfriend" comes up once or twice, and eventually it turned out that she was still living with him. I was like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." With that being said, she grinded all over me while dancing and tried to make out with me at the end of the "date." She later left me a voice mail asking me to do some shit with her on Sunday. Who does this girl think she is? You can't DATE someone else when you LIVE with your boyfriend.

Girls man, lol.

Where's the problem for you here? I mean she sucks, but really not your problem.

 

[ecurbj]

Went on another first date a few days ago. The phrase "my boyfriend" comes up once or twice, and eventually it turned out that she was still living with him. I was like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." With that being said, she grinded all over me while dancing and tried to make out with me at the end of the "date." She later left me a voice mail asking me to do some shit with her on Sunday. Who does this girl think she is? You can't DATE someone else when you LIVE with your boyfriend.

Girls man, lol.

Make sure her boyfriend doesn't find out about you.

And why is she dating you to begin with? She has a boyfriend at the crib. It doesn't make any sense. Unless she wants you to smash.

And if she is doing that to you. What makes you think she won't do that to the next guy she goes on a date with and your at home relaxing in a relationship with her mind you while in the meantime she is grinding and making out with other guy.

Either smash and bail or just bail completely. If I was you I would bail.

Edit: And don't say girls. Simpy say "lack of commitment type girls". Because she definitely fits the profile.

 

[Septimius]

Went on another first date a few days ago. The phrase "my boyfriend" comes up once or twice, and eventually it turned out that she was still living with him. I was like "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." With that being said, she grinded all over me while dancing and tried to make out with me at the end of the "date." She later left me a voice mail asking me to do some shit with her on Sunday. Who does this girl think she is? You can't DATE someone else when you LIVE with your boyfriend.

Girls man, lol.

My current girlfriend cheated on her at-the-time-and-living-with-boyfriend with me. She also cheated on me with her previously-at-the-time-and-living-with-boyfriend-that-was-then-her-ex-boyfriend half a year later after having been together with me for four months. Can't really recommend it. Wine-hoppers suck.

(Yes, she's my current girlfriend. This was two years ago.)

 

[Xun]

Xun, you don't have to be on 100% of the time. You can take a break from women/dating if you feel mentally exhausted. The important thing though, have you learned and noticed a change in yourself since you actively started trying to change your situation with women?

I've tried to change but my friends really aren't helping.

Never do I go to parties, and meet new people. Whenever we go out we always go to the same places, doing the same things. It's the same old routine and I'm getting tired of it, because I'm quite frankly feeling trapped with it all.

I'm still unable to approach women and it really doesn't help me at all.

 

[CatPee]

Hahaha, I was at Buffalo Wild Wings all dressed up with my swim team after a meet and got randomly asked for my number while waiting to pay. feelsgoodman.jpg

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Hahaha, I was at Buffalo Wild Wings all dressed up with my swim team after a meet and got randomly asked for my number while waiting to pay. feelsgoodman.jpg

Maybe you should walk around in a speedo more often.

EDIT: I think I've saved all of the compatible red heads on OkCupid in LA.

 

[Minamu]

Have any of you guys gone out alone? I'm thinking of doing it if my friends aren't up for it from now on. I notice on a regular basis just how shy and/or comfortable I am around my friends that I "have no need" to approach strangers (tonight was no different even though I saw lots of girls I would've wanted to talk to). Going out alone just so I actually HAVE to talk to people to not get bored sounds more and more like something I should do If not only to get to know the bar keeps etc. Any thoughts on how to do any of this?

Well backstory the girl I'm talking to (couple posts back) ran into me as soon as me and my boys were leaving the club. We then had some hot dogs at a food truck and while I was ordering food I overheard my friends talking about "ohh he's the nicest guy you will ever meet", "he's got his shit together, stable job, his own place "he's great with kids" blah blah blah. I just thought it was too much (I'm a pretty modest guy).

Sounds pretty good to me? If my friends did that, I'd hug them Overhyping would be telling someone you climbed mount everest or something over the top like that

 

[SRG01]

Well backstory the girl I'm talking to (couple posts back) ran into me as soon as me and my boys were leaving the club. We then had some hot dogs at a food truck and while I was ordering food I overheard my friends talking about "ohh he's the nicest guy you will ever meet", "he's got his shit together, stable job, his own place "he's great with kids" blah blah blah. I just thought it was too much (I'm a pretty modest guy).

Depends on what the girl is looking for, really. And it also depends on how early this type of information is shared, unfortunately. :/

 

[luckyboyceo]

Have any of you guys gone out alone? I'm thinking of doing it if my friends aren't up for it from now on. I notice on a regular basis just how shy and/or comfortable I am around my friends that I "have no need" to approach strangers (tonight was no different even though I saw lots of girls I would've wanted to talk to). Going out alone just so I actually HAVE to talk to people to not get bored sounds more and more like something I should do If not only to get to know the bar keeps etc. Any thoughts on how to do any of this?

It's tricky.

I seem to recall a Brent video in which he addressed this question quite well. You want to come off as someone who just stopped in for a drink real quick before heading out to whatever your big plans are later that night (even if you don't have any). Most likely, this means only staying at a place for a short amount of time (1 or 2 drinks), then moving on to the next one. Essentially, the key is to not come off as some loner who sits at the bar all night. You want to try and stay busy.

 

[CF_Fighter]

I've recently started being a "regular" at a local place. I go there for the atmosphere and have even done some writing as well. Real low-key and chill craft beer bar. I've met some cool new people here and seen a few people I haven't in years.

 

[Bryan1321]

What's the worst she can say if you just walk up to her and ask her? She will simply say yes or no. And if she says no. Take the rejection as her loss to having an awesome time with you and you move on to another beautiful girl that's out there in your area that you like.

Well i go to her place and i asked her out. She gave me her number. Su i suppose its a good sign..

When should i call her?

I know i must let some time pass before a call

Again. this is the first time a girl gives me her number for going out...

 

[Minamu]

It's tricky.

I seem to recall a Brent video in which he addressed this question quite well. You want to come off as someone who just stopped in for a drink real quick before heading out to whatever your big plans are later that night (even if you don't have any). Most likely, this means only staying at a place for a short amount of time (1 or 2 drinks), then moving on to the next one. Essentially, the key is to not come off as some loner who sits at the bar all night. You want to try and stay busy.

I think I've seen that video too Should look it up. I wouldn't mind jumping around to different bars, but some of them have close to 20 dollar entrance fees and I can't afford to do that several times a night, several times a week, as a student xD

 

[Mully]

A little update on my situation.

I can tell that my ex has decided that she does not want me back in her life as a boyfriend, let alone close friend for the time being. It really really hurts, but I know this is how she reacts to these types of situations and I can't really control it. It hurts a lot right now, but I know when I'm around my best friends later, this pain will go away.

It's been about 3 months since the break up and besides our big talk around Thanksgiving, we haven't really spoken much. I was planning on talking to her from time to time, but I'm too scared to and I really don't think I'm ready to start chatting her up again. As much as I want to, I'm not at my best. I still have a lot of insecurity issues that I need to work out and I'll be in the same position I was in just three months ago. For instance, I never did anything for me and I would get angry at the things I couldn't control. I've improved a lot, but those issues are still there. I need to become comfortable with myself and take care of me before I start to talk to her again seriously.

It all sucks to write this out, but this is what I need to do to make myself better. As much as I want her back, I can't control it at this point. I can influence the situation, but I can't change it. Having said that I've been chatting up a bunch of old summer flings, and things have been going well. I have a pretty good game and I can tell I could hook up with all of them right now, but I'm not ready for that yet. It's fun talking to them, but I'm too scared to pull the trigger. I guess that's my next step: I have to let her go completely.

Any tips on how I can do this?

 

[number47]

A little update on my situation.

I can tell that my ex has decided that she does not want me back in her life as a boyfriend, let alone close friend for the time being. It really really hurts, but I know this is how she reacts to these types of situations and I can't really control it. It hurts a lot right now, but I know when I'm around my best friends later, this pain will go away.

It's been about 3 months since the break up and besides our big talk around Thanksgiving, we haven't really spoken much. I was planning on talking to her from time to time, but I'm too scared to and I really don't think I'm ready to start chatting her up again. As much as I want to, I'm not at my best. I still have a lot of insecurity issues that I need to work out and I'll be in the same position I was in just three months ago. For instance, I never did anything for me and I would get angry at the things I couldn't control. I've improved a lot, but those issues are still there. I need to become comfortable with myself and take care of me before I start to talk to her again seriously.

It all sucks to write this out, but this is what I need to do to make myself better. As much as I want her back, I can't control it at this point. I can influence the situation, but I can't change it. Having said that I've been chatting up a bunch of old summer flings, and things have been going well. I have a pretty good game and I can tell I could hook up with all of them right now, but I'm not ready for that yet. It's fun talking to them, but I'm too scared to pull the trigger. I guess that's my next step: I have to let her go completely.

Any tips on how I can do this?

I know you are going to hate this advice,because I got it too alot when I was (currently am really) the same position. Just keep busy. You want to work out,keep working out. As nice and perfect this girl is,she's your ex.Not your property.You can't say you never saw another girl on the street you didn't want to talk to. Now you do. Give yourself the ability to grow.BUT PLEASE don't tell yourself you are doing all these changes for her.

Also I also get you don't have the self esteem to go further with other women.Just enjoy their company.And if they want to throw themselves at you,which will definitely happen. Don't reject it,if anything,they like you for half the man you see yourself. Since you are improving yourself,they will only build to like you some more.

 

[ecurbj]

Well i go to her place and i asked her out. She gave me her number. Su i suppose its a good sign..

When should i call her?

I know i must let some time pass before a call

Again. this is the first time a girl gives me her number for going out...

That's an awesome sign. That shows you that she is interested. How much interest, your going to have to find that out on your own. You grew a pair to ask her so that's a plus not only to her to see that but to you as far as confidence is concerned for yourself.

I would honestly wait a few. Shoot her a text and start up a casual conversation and then from there ask her out. Like "hey I'm going out to this event this weekend and wanted to know if you would like to come along with me". Something along those lines.

Show her that your interested. What was her reaction when you asked her for her number?

 

[RedHerring]

Been there done that. Useless, the shrinks have just made out that I've done nothing wrong with these girls in the past and there's nothing fundamentally wrong with what I'm doing now. Like I said it makes it worse because I can't make something right if its not wrong in the first place. I was told I was suffering a bad case of 'bad luck'. I believe you make your own luck in life, so that was hard to swallow.

I can't even get help for depression because apparently my sadness is a direct result of what's happened to me. Its rational depression. If I was sad for no reason, I'd get help, but because its due to being shit on by horrible women, I have to get on with it. Professional help isn't what's needed, meeting people who are honest, dependable and decent is what I need. I've yet to be able to do that.

OK, so there's a reason for your being depressed, it's just not a good one. Having a girlfriend isn't the be all end all. Plus, the professionals are right - you can put tons into self-improvement and pick up techniques but there's always an element of luck involved.

It's very easy to see the grass as greener on the other side when you're single, and it must be frustrating sometimes to see your friends getting engaged. But your happiness is not incumbent on you having a girlfriend or a wife, so stop thinking that it is.

I got out of a long term relationship two years ago, went straight into another brief relationship, and after coming out of that realised I hadn't been single for 6 years. It was difficult to come to terms with being single, and it was over 6 months before I settled down finally and stopped being anxious to get into another relationship. It would've just been a crux, and likely a waste of time given how low my standards were.

Finally, don't forget that even people in fulfilling relationships have to deal with a multitude of problems and issues singletons don't have. It's not all roses. Concentrate first and foremost on being content on your own. Don't shy away from opportunities but don't be so invested.

I've tried to change but my friends really aren't helping.

Never do I go to parties, and meet new people. Whenever we go out we always go to the same places, doing the same things. It's the same old routine and I'm getting tired of it, because I'm quite frankly feeling trapped with it all.

I'm still unable to approach women and it really doesn't help me at all.

You're based in London, aren't you Xun? If you want to meet new people, start exploring your interests. Take that language class, creative writing course, dance lessons, anything you're passionate or interested in. You'll meet new people and it'll help you expand your social circle. Maybe encourage your current friends to join whatever with you, sounds like they're stuck in their own ruts too.

 

[SRG01]

Okay, so something to ask the "older" members around here. I know that the older you get, the wider your theoretical dating pool. However, I've been noticing that, while it's easier to get dates, most of them have been with younger women with whom I don't share anything in common. I'm 27 turning 28 next month, my ex was 22, and most of the girls I've dated recently were 22-23.

I mean, 27/28 is still young, but the age gap really bothers me at times. Is this normal?

 

[Miguel]

Just a number. I've dated a really immature 27 yr old (at the time) and immature 25 year old. By comparison, the 23 yr old I'm seeing now seems much more mature than either of those two. All depends who you meet.

 

[SRG01]

Just a number. I've dated a really immature 27 yr old (at the time) and immature 25 year old. By comparison, the 23 yr old I'm seeing now seems much more mature than either of those two. All depends who you meet.

Yes, I do realize it's just a number. However, the correlation is so strong that the other possibility -- me choosing the wrong women -- must be true.

edit: And it probably doesn't help that all of my recent dates were from POF. I really need to get my social life back in order in the new year!!

 

[mt1200]

The girl I like is 3 years older than me, and already knows that I love videogames.

Do I have game with her?, it seems that every girl a bit older than you sees videogames as an inmature hobby unless she likes them.

Spoiler

And she already has a college degree

 

[Calion]

Any tips on how I can do this?

The first step is realizing that you're not going to get back with her. Delete, burn, trash, shred anything that brings memories of her. Delete her from Facebook (Block if necessary), Twitter, your phone, etc.

Next, hang out with friends and family. Put yourself in social situations. Get out there. Work out (Get stress reliever). Get new clothes. Improve yourself.

Above all, it does take some time, and it will suck. But ultimately, have some fun.

 

[Mully]

The first step is realizing that you're not going to get back with her. Delete, burn, trash, shred anything that brings memories of her. Delete her from Facebook (Block if necessary), Twitter, your phone, etc.

Next, hang out with friends and family. Put yourself in social situations. Get out there. Work out (Get stress reliever). Get new clothes. Improve yourself.

Above all, it does take some time, and it will suck. But ultimately, have some fun.

I'm basically doing all of those things. Haha. I was pretty brief on my situation so, I guess I just gotta continue doing these things and just wait it out.

I know you are going to hate this advice,because I got it too alot when I was (currently am really) the same position. Just keep busy. You want to work out,keep working out. As nice and perfect this girl is,she's your ex.Not your property.You can't say you never saw another girl on the street you didn't want to talk to. Now you do. Give yourself the ability to grow.BUT PLEASE don't tell yourself you are doing all these changes for her.

Also I also get you don't have the self esteem to go further with other women.Just enjoy their company.And if they want to throw themselves at you,which will definitely happen. Don't reject it,if anything,they like you for half the man you see yourself. Since you are improving yourself,they will only build to like you some more.

This post annoys me. I'm past all of that now. It says in my post, that I'm doing things for me and taking care of myself. It has been about a month and a half since I had to tell myself that I had to do these things all for myself. It's becoming easy to do and really fun. I do have the self-esteem to go further. It's not like I think I can't, I know I can fuck some of these girls. If I had low self-esteem I wouldn't have even spoken to these girls. What's really holding me back is that I can't help but feel guilty about hooking up with them. Obviously the thought of getting back together with her is the main reason, but also the fact that I'm telling these girls that I'm using them. I'm a relationship kind of guy, and even during these summer flings I felt guilty that I was using these girls. I don't want to hurt some of these girls again.

 

[Cubsfan23]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SNjJhT37ivw

 

[ecurbj]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SNjJhT37ivw

Brent is right. Every male is a "chick magnet" by default. It's not until we begin to take in the social norms or society standards of what men should be like and what Hollywood thinks men should like or be like around woman. Thats when the problem comes into place because your being someone that your not.

Confidence is the key to bein a chick magnet. Looks don't matter per se. Of course you have to look presentable but for the most part it's confidence. You loving yourself or not caring about the negative criticism that some might say about you.

 

[Kad5]

Ok so i've been texting this girl. I still can't tell if she's into me. I've mentioned this girl previously in the thread.

Here goes:

Me: Hey (It took her until the next day to respond)

Her: Hi!

Me:What are you up to?

Her: Watching aladdin haha. you?

Me: Just chillin, relaxin all cool. I love that movie. It sounds like you have good taste.

Her: Haha in movies?

Me: Yea and possibly more. You also like animal collective so there's that. (She commented on my fb status on animal collective the day before)

Her: I wanted to go see them when they came to Atlanta but I couldn't go I was so surprised when I saw you liked them hahaha

Me: Do you like sts9?

Her: Never heard of them.

Me: I'll show them to you when we hang out I guess. you do anything special recently?

Her: Okie dokie! Or send me a link of their best song or something. And not really dude haha just been hanging out. What about you?

Me: Not much. I've mostly been smoking weed. Not much else to do sadly. it sounds like both of our lives are uneventful right now.

Her: Yes haha. So you smoke? (Im assuming she thought I was straight edge when she first met me) Haha obviously, but I had no idea.

Me: Yeah I dabble in different things but I prefer smoking or getting tipsy. :')

Her: I don't like smoking haha I rather drink.

Me: That's fine. Maybe we can get drunk when we hang out. :'P my friend works at a liquor store.

Her: Deal hahahahahahaha. You're so much different than I thought! haha

Me: I'll take that as a complement. :] what part of aladdin are you on?

Her: HAha I finished that at 5 lol it was on telemundo

Me: Who were you watching spanish Aladdin with?

Her: Myself haha. I'm in the car getting some dinner right now haha

Me: That's lame. You should watch movies with someone cool like me.


That's the end of the convo. She never responded back. We're supposed to hang out sometime soon. I'll probably text her again and ask if she wants to meet up in the city or something.

 

[Eggo]

Ok so i've been texting this girl. I still can't tell if she's into me.

I get the feeling you're in the friend zone, or the "I got no game" zone. Next time you're with her in person, why not put your arm around her? If she's receptive to that, kiss her. That's how you know, not by texting her with nothing to say and admitting you have nothing going on in your social life. Can you see how unattractive it is? Also lose the smiley brigade.

 

[Biff]

Ok so i've been texting this girl. I still can't tell if she's into me. I've mentioned this girl previously in the thread.

Here goes:
holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit far too many hahas to quote


That's the end of the convo. She never responded back. We're supposed to hang out sometime soon. I'll probably text her again and ask if she wants to meet up in the city or something.

I remember your story from a few days ago.

A few things:

1. Your texts are way too fucking meditated. Each one has some creepy innuendo or something built into it. It's like your interviewing for a job and giving a perfect response to each question. The only problem is she sounds incredibly immature and she is just going to either not pick up on it or think you're weird.

2. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time spent in this convo. WAY too much. You have to end it earlier. Like when she said the thing about not being able to see animals in Atlanta or something. Just say "oh well we'll go next time they're here! sorry but my buddy just pulled up gotta go but i'll talk to you soon. we should hangout this week"

3. You are trying way too hard with the bad boy smoking weed and getting drunk thing. It only works if it isn't forced.

At least you're trying though, I'll give you that. Just keep the convos shorter and get to the point faster. Girls text this much with their girlfriends. If you keep this up I give you my word you will be friendzoned. You got to have these conversations IN PERSON. That is where she is 'worth your time', as disgusting and gross and Neil Strauss as it sounds.

 

[dragonflys545]

I need help GAFFERS! I recently met this really cute girl at work where we both haven't really gotten to know each other much, but ever since I added her on Facebook over the past 3 days we've been texting each other for hours. I notice that she has a boyfriend and that they've been together for 2 years, but here's why I kind of see a chance of hooking up with her. She thinks I'm really cute, thought I was a player(lol i wish) and that the reason why she couldn't talk to me was because she was really shy around cute guys(me too around cute girls ).

It's also because of the fact that while we were texting. She told me how she felt about her relationship with her boyfriend's going nowhere in terms of him not doing anything special for her, and that she feels that she's doing all the work in her relationship to keep it going. So what do you say GAFFERS go for it or bail out?

 

[Kad5]

That was one of the few times I initiated a text with her. Every other time she initiated contact with me.

I don't think i'm friend zoned currently and I never was to being with I don't think. The night I met her she held my hand and asked me if I was single. Granted she was drunk but apparently she was sober to try and get back in contact with me the next day.

And I actually did want to end the conversation earlier but my friend who was next to me told me to text her a little more so I did.


Also, I wasn't "trying to be a bad boy" it was just a casual thing I was saying. I'm a freshman in college. Every other person I know smokes weed. It isn't some big deal.

 

[JambiBum]

I get the feeling you're in the friend zone, or the "I got no game" zone. Next time you're with her in person, why not put your arm around her? If she's receptive to that, kiss her. That's how you know, not by texting her with nothing to say and admitting you have nothing going on in your social life. Can you see how unattractive it is? Also lose the smiley brigade.

Eh the smileys aren't really an issue if she's doing them as well. If he was the only one doing them then it can come off as weird but he isn't. I can tell a girl I'm not doing anything and they'll suggest that we do something together. It all depends on the girl really.

On a personal note, I went on the best date of my life last Friday. It lasted 12 hours. Neither of us wanted to leave so it just kept going on and on until I eventually had to go home since I worked in the morning. It was with the girl I spoke of previously. I'll probably go into detail about the date tomorrow at some time. It's late and I need to go to bed as I work in the morning.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Just finished my community service for the month. Fucked a girl well below me. Lets hope karma brings me to a hot girl's bed on New Years when I'm in Vegas.

 

[lawlohwhat]

That was one of the few times I initiated a text with her. Every other time she initiated contact with me.

I don't think i'm friend zoned currently and I never was to being with I don't think. The night I met her she held my hand and asked me if I was single. Granted she was drunk but apparently she was sober to try and get back in contact with me the next day.

And I actually did want to end the conversation earlier but my friend who was next to me told me to text her a little more so I did.


Also, I wasn't "trying to be a bad boy" it was just a casual thing I was saying. I'm a freshman in college. Every other person I know smokes weed. It isn't some big deal.

Well I think he's saying that it doesn't really matter who initiates a conversation because it should take place in person. Texting should mostly be reserved for communicating relevant information about when your next social encounter will happen. It's not like you guys live 10,000 miles away or something.

When you're talking over such an impersonal medium, the things that sound good and casual in your head might not come across as you intend them to. I got the exact same kind of awkward feeling reading it as the Chef did.

Let her come to you!

 

[LightOfTruth]

wow getting cock-blocked is incredibly annoying. Especially when the girl doesnt even like the guy cock blocking.

 

[Idde]

I need help GAFFERS! I recently met this really cute girl at work where we both haven't really gotten to know each other much, but ever since I added her on Facebook over the past 3 days we've been texting each other for hours. I notice that she has a boyfriend and that they've been together for 2 years, but here's why I kind of see a chance of hooking up with her. She thinks I'm really cute, thought I was a player(lol i wish) and that the reason why she couldn't talk to me was because she was really shy around cute guys(me too around cute girls ).

It's also because of the fact that while we were texting. She told me how she felt about her relationship with her boyfriend's going nowhere in terms of him not doing anything special for her, and that she feels that she's doing all the work in her relationship to keep it going. So what do you say GAFFERS go for it or bail out?

Move on. She's got a boyfriend. If they break up, that should be her own decision. If she does break up with him chances are you'll be friendzoned. I (and plenty of other guys) have been an emotional crutch for girls in a shitty relationship who is looking for attention. With nothing following after that (though they might hint at it). Don't spend a lot of energy on her hoping it will pay of with a hook up. Be her friend? Sure, just don't expect anything more.