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[Cubsfan23]

Ok so i've been texting this girl. I still can't tell if she's into me. I've mentioned this girl previously in the thread.

Here goes:

Me: Hey (It took her until the next day to respond)

Her: Hi!

Me:What are you up to?

Her: Watching aladdin haha. you?

Me: Just chillin, relaxin all cool. I love that movie. It sounds like you have good taste.

Her: Haha in movies?

Me: Yea and possibly more. You also like animal collective so there's that. (She commented on my fb status on animal collective the day before)

Her: I wanted to go see them when they came to Atlanta but I couldn't go I was so surprised when I saw you liked them hahaha

Me: Do you like sts9?

Her: Never heard of them.

Me: I'll show them to you when we hang out I guess. you do anything special recently?

Her: Okie dokie! Or send me a link of their best song or something. And not really dude haha just been hanging out. What about you?

Me: Not much. I've mostly been smoking weed. Not much else to do sadly. it sounds like both of our lives are uneventful right now.

Her: Yes haha. So you smoke? (Im assuming she thought I was straight edge when she first met me) Haha obviously, but I had no idea.

Me: Yeah I dabble in different things but I prefer smoking or getting tipsy. :')

Her: I don't like smoking haha I rather drink.

Me: That's fine. Maybe we can get drunk when we hang out. :'P my friend works at a liquor store.

Her: Deal hahahahahahaha. You're so much different than I thought! haha

Me: I'll take that as a complement. :] what part of aladdin are you on?

Her: HAha I finished that at 5 lol it was on telemundo

Me: Who were you watching spanish Aladdin with?

Her: Myself haha. I'm in the car getting some dinner right now haha

Me: That's lame. You should watch movies with someone cool like me.


That's the end of the convo. She never responded back. We're supposed to hang out sometime soon. I'll probably text her again and ask if she wants to meet up in the city or something.

way too many texts, and you reached out first

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

way too many texts, and you reached out first

That's one of the things that I disagree with you (and Brent Smith) with. Nothing wrong with reaching out first as long as its not frequent. You're right though, he's texting way too much.

 

[Seanbob11]

I need help GAFFERS! I recently met this really cute girl at work where we both haven't really gotten to know each other much, but ever since I added her on Facebook over the past 3 days we've been texting each other for hours. I notice that she has a boyfriend and that they've been together for 2 years, but here's why I kind of see a chance of hooking up with her. She thinks I'm really cute, thought I was a player(lol i wish) and that the reason why she couldn't talk to me was because she was really shy around cute guys(me too around cute girls ).

It's also because of the fact that while we were texting. She told me how she felt about her relationship with her boyfriend's going nowhere in terms of him not doing anything special for her, and that she feels that she's doing all the work in her relationship to keep it going. So what do you say GAFFERS go for it or bail out?

I know there will be a lot of guys telling you to do nothing because she has a boyfriend but I think you should go for it. Her telling you that her relationship isn't going well is clearly an indication that she likes you. If you like her then go for it.

In my experience it's not at all more difficult if the girl has a boyfriend. My fiancé was in a relationship when I first met her, that didn't stop me. I really liked her and why should someone else who could be worse for her be with her because they knew her first? My best friend's current girlfriend was also in a long 2+ year relationship and they're going strong now.

If you like her then go for it. I think it's talked about more when it doesn't work out so it looks dis-proportionally bad. Hope this helps!

 

[RevoDS]

I need help GAFFERS! I recently met this really cute girl at work where we both haven't really gotten to know each other much, but ever since I added her on Facebook over the past 3 days we've been texting each other for hours. I notice that she has a boyfriend and that they've been together for 2 years, but here's why I kind of see a chance of hooking up with her. She thinks I'm really cute, thought I was a player(lol i wish) and that the reason why she couldn't talk to me was because she was really shy around cute guys(me too around cute girls ).

It's also because of the fact that while we were texting. She told me how she felt about her relationship with her boyfriend's going nowhere in terms of him not doing anything special for her, and that she feels that she's doing all the work in her relationship to keep it going. So what do you say GAFFERS go for it or bail out?

Someone once told me an interesting analogy about girls:

Girls are like monkeys; they won't let go of a branch until they've got a firm hold on another.

It doesn't matter that she's in a relationship, she's clearly shopping around and ready to move on. If it isn't you, it'll be someone else. Go for it.

I'm speaking from experience by the way, a girl told me the exact same thing and I didn't do anything because she was still in a relationship. Sure enough, three weeks later she was single but my window of opportunity had long closed by then.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Someone once told me an interesting analogy about girls:

Girls are like monkeys; they won't let go of a branch until they've got a firm hold on another.

It doesn't matter that she's in a relationship, she's clearly shopping around and ready to move on. If it isn't you, it'll be someone else. Go for it.

Horrible advice. Don't listen to these fools. Leave her alone unless you're a scumbag douche nozzle.

 

[Schlep]

I don't agree with the analogy, but I do agree that you can't let a girl having a boyfriend deter you. If she's happy in her relationship, she will tell you and that will be that. If she's not happy, then she will be moving on at some point with or without you. My personal line in the sand is any kind of ring on the finger.

 

[RevoDS]

Horrible advice. Don't listen to these fools. Leave her alone unless you're a scumbag douche nozzle.

You can express interest in a girl without manipulating her, you know. I don't see why it would be douchey to try something with a girl who clearly likes you and finds that her current relationship is going nowhere. You can't break her couple if it already was in pieces, and she can always put a stop to it if she still wants to make it work with her current boyfriend.

As long as it's done sensibly, without lies or manipulation, there shouldn't be a problem in pursuing and seeing where it goes. It's better than sidelining yourself until she does find someone else.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Maybe I'm just old fashioned or too chivalrous to ever try to hook up with a girl who has a boyfriend no matter how fractured their relationship is. I just find it very grimey.

 

[Idde]

I know there will be a lot of guys telling you to do nothing because she has a boyfriend but I think you should go for it. Her telling you that her relationship isn't going well is clearly an indication that she likes you. If you like her then go for it.

In my experience it really isn't. She might just think of him as a friend. She might just like the attention. If she really liked him she would have already broken up with her boring boyfriend and been with him.

In my experience it's not at all more difficult if the girl has a boyfriend. My fiancé was in a relationship when I first met her, that didn't stop me. I really liked her and why should someone else who could be worse for her be with her because they knew her first? My best friend's current girlfriend was also in a long 2+ year relationship and they're going strong now.

Because separating people who are in a relationship is a douche nozzly thing to do to her boyfriend, IMHO.

Someone once told me an interesting analogy about girls:

Girls are like monkeys; they won't let go of a branch until they've got a firm hold on another.

It doesn't matter that she's in a relationship, she's clearly shopping around and ready to move on. If it isn't you, it'll be someone else. Go for it.

She'll be shopping around when she actually leaves her boyfriend. And if it's with someone else, then at least it won't be with you. Which I see as a plus.

I'm speaking from experience by the way, a girl told me the exact same thing and I didn't do anything because she was still in a relationship. Sure enough, three weeks later she was single but my window of opportunity had long closed by then.

And I think if she really liked you she would have come to you after those three weeks.

 

[Raiden]

From my experience this man above me is correct.

I have been in that exact situation. Met a girl, we got along pretty well. Flirting and shit. She was with her boyfriend of about 2 years as well, she talked about seeing him just as a friend, and how bad their relationship was going, how they had fights and whatnot the entire time. Sure enough i fell for it, and bam i was in an affair with her. It lasted for about a good 3 months until she got bored with me i guess. Probally noticed how i was getting too serious with her, and wanting more and no more sneaking around. Told me she did not want to jump from one relationship into the other and stuff like that.

Lesson learned here: Never start something with a girl that has a boyfriend, because if she really wanted to be with me she would have left him.

They're still together right now.

Edit: But im sure you' will not take this advice, and to be honest neither should you. Honestly i would say go for it.... BUT!!! Make sure you do NOT get too emotionally involved into it. And keep your mind on/open for other girls.

 

[Seanbob11]

Because separating people who are in a relationship is a douche nozzly thing to do to her boyfriend, IMHO.

I didn't say anything about actively trying to destroy their relationship via manipulation, if you read it that way, I'm sorry. If someone else is going to make her happier then I don't see why they shouldn't declare your intent with her.

More personally though. If I hadn't done anything all those years ago I would never have got with her (having only seeing her at College for a year). Doing what you said is a "douche nozzly thing" to her boyfriend has found me my future wife and someone I genuinely feel like I will be with for the rest of my life. No, I don't feel like the exception to the rule.

I don't wanna start an arguement here. I'm just trying to let the guy above know that if he does like her it can work out. I certainly don't think of myself as a "douche" nor would anyone I know.

 

[Idde]

I didn't say anything about actively trying to destroy their relationship via manipulation, if you read it that way, I'm sorry. If someone else is going to make her happier then I don't see why they shouldn't declare your intent with her.

More personally though. If I hadn't done anything all those years ago I would never have got with her (having only seeing her at College for a year). Doing what you said is a "douche nozzly thing" to her boyfriend has found me my future wife and someone I genuinely feel like I will be with for the rest of my life. No, I don't feel like the exception to the rule.

I don't wanna start an arguement here. I'm just trying to let the guy above know that if he does like her it can work out. I certainly don't think of myself as a "douche" nor would anyone I know.

I'm not trying to start an argument either. So I won't I guess there is indeed a distinction between simply being upfront about liking somebody who is in a relationship, and manipulating somebody into breaking up/cheating. I did the first (and to my great shame a little bit of the latter, it was six years ago) with a good female friend of mine. She stayed with her boyfriend.

My best friend had a relationship with a girl, who broke up with him after a guy started manipulating her. He hit all the right (wrong) notes with her. My best friend was devastated. To this day I still can't see that other guy without having to fight the urge to smash his face in (sorry, GAF demands hyperbole).

You could make yourself clear, and if she says no accept it. If you continue barking up that trea, you're quite nozzly, IMHO, and (in my experience) it's probably a waste of your time and energy. Quite happy to hear other people had better luck, so congratz Seanbob

 

[EXGN]

I dunno, for me it's not the fact that she has a boyfriend but that they work together. Never shit where you eat, etc.

 

[clip]

I checked her relationship status, god damn it, why did I do that.

 

[Kad5]

That's one of the things that I disagree with you (and Brent Smith) with. Nothing wrong with reaching out first as long as its not frequent. You're right though, he's texting way too much.

Is it really an issue if that's the only time I reached out to her?

Every other time she is usually the one who calls or texts me first to talk or hang out.

She also lives a county away from me so that's why we're meeting again in the city sometime this week.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Kad5, don't turn this thread into your personal blog.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Is it really an issue if that's the only time I reached out to her?

Every other time she is usually the one who calls or texts me first to talk or hang out.

She also lives a county away from me so that's why we're meeting again in the city sometime this week.

I just think this overcommunication over text isn't helping your situation. Most girls (and I've been told by my girl buddies plenty of times) like it when a guy is a little aloof and mysterious

 

[Slayer-33]

Just finished my community service for the month. Fucked a girl well below me. Lets hope karma brings me to a hot girl's bed on New Years when I'm in Vegas.

hahaha

 

[Etrian Oddity]

I just think this overcommunication over text isn't helping your situation. Most girls (and I've been told by my girl buddies plenty of times) like it when a guy is a little aloof and mysterious

I agree about not smothering them; but some guys don't have the luxury of having girls chase them (or take the initiative when it comes to texting).

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

I agree about not smothering them; but some guys don't have the luxury of having girls chase them (or take the initiative when it comes to texting).

Its not about girls chasing. I've had some girls that were very aggressive but others I had to be the one that initiated contact 99% of the time. What I'm trying to suggest to him is to save all that conversation when him and the girl are actually face to face. I would also suggest that he should've asked her out to the movies from the get instead of carrying on about whatever the fuck.

 

[Xun]

You're based in London, aren't you Xun? If you want to meet new people, start exploring your interests. Take that language class, creative writing course, dance lessons, anything you're passionate or interested in. You'll meet new people and it'll help you expand your social circle. Maybe encourage your current friends to join whatever with you, sounds like they're stuck in their own ruts too.

I am indeed from London.

I'm fed up with trying to encourage my friends so I'll just look on my own, probably look at some life drawing classes. Not only because it'll be a good way to meet people, but also because I want to continue it on now that college is over.

Oh and if anyone has any approach anxiety tips please help.

 

[luckyboyceo]

I tend to agree with the idea that pursuing a girl who's already in a relationship is a bad idea. Then again, I suppose it depends what YOU are trying to get out of it. If she's giving you indications she's interested, and all you want is to hook up, it's certainly possible. However, I personally don't believe it's possible for her to just go from one relationship to another, so if those are your intentions I suggest thinking otherwise.

Idde had a great post on the last page (50 post pages FTL) that I agree with 100%. Don't get suckered into thinking she's into you when in reality you're just her emotional crutch. The fact that she's still with her boyfriend despite things being "bad" for awhile now says a lot. Youre giving her the attention she's not currently getting from her boyfriend. She's holding out hope that he'll change in if he does she'll forget all about you.

Overall, I would probably avoid the situation altogether. It may be fun for awhile but ultimately it will lead to problems whether it be with her or her boyfriend. Those are never fun situations to deal with. I've seen it first hand with both myself and my close friends and they always end in flames.

Is it really an issue if that's the only time I reached out to her?

Every other time she is usually the one who calls or texts me first to talk or hang out.

She also lives a county away from me so that's why we're meeting again in the city sometime this week.

You reaching out to her was the least of your problems. Honestly, I don't personally believe reaching out is as big of a deal as a lot of the guys in here say it is. I still say it's a good thing to avoid doing, because it puts the initiative on her, but if you absolutely HAVE to do it then take it upon yourself to try and mask your intentions and don't make it blatantly obvious that you're trying to start up a texting conversation. This means never reaching out with just "hey."

With that said, that conversation sucked. I'm sorry to be blunt, but it did. Never take advice from that friend who told you to continue it because he clearly doesn't know what he was talking about. Like the guys in here have said, you're overcommunicating. Why have such a long texting conversation when you could save these topics for in person? Also, why even bring up the smoking/drinking? To me that sounds extremely corny and try-hard, like you were trying to come off as a badass or something. I don't think it won you any points with her honestly, judging by her response. She tried to end the conversation multiple times and you dragged it on by asking her a question. You need to know when to end the conversation, and had multiple opportunities to do so (talking about the concert, setting "plans" to drink together, etc).

Basically you should be using texting as a bridge to seeing her in person. I understand this is often times harder than it sounds, and at times requires a great deal of patience, but that's the point. She doesn't want someone she knows EVERYTHING about within a week. Not saying this is what you did, but if you continue down this road that's what you'll become. In the future, keep the texts to a minimum. A little bantering here and there is good, but none of this "do anything special recently?" or "who are you watching the movie with?" Hope that helps.

 

[Kad5]

I tend to agree with the idea that pursuing a girl who's already in a relationship is a bad idea. Then again, I suppose it depends what YOU are trying to get out of it. If she's giving you indications she's interested, and all you want is to hook up, it's certainly possible. However, I personally don't believe it's possible for her to just go from one relationship to another, so if those are your intentions I suggest thinking otherwise.

Idde had a great post on the last page (50 post pages FTL) that I agree with 100%. Don't get suckered into thinking she's into you when in reality you're just her emotional crutch. The fact that she's still with her boyfriend despite things being "bad" for awhile now says a lot. Youre giving her the attention she's not currently getting from her boyfriend. She's holding out hope that he'll change in if he does she'll forget all about you.

Overall, I would probably avoid the situation altogether. It may be fun for awhile but ultimately it will lead to problems whether it be with her or her boyfriend. Those are never fun situations to deal with. I've seen it first hand with both myself and my close friends and they always end in flames.


You reaching out to her was the least of your problems. Honestly, I don't personally believe reaching out is as big of a deal as a lot of the guys in here say it is. I still say it's a good thing to avoid doing, because it puts the initiative on her, but if you absolutely HAVE to do it then take it upon yourself to try and mask your intentions and don't make it blatantly obvious that you're trying to start up a texting conversation. This means never reaching out with just "hey."

With that said, that conversation sucked. I'm sorry to be blunt, but it did. Never take advice from that friend who told you to continue it because he clearly doesn't know what he was talking about. Like the guys in here have said, you're overcommunicating. Why have such a long texting conversation when you could save these topics for in person? Also, why even bring up the smoking/drinking? To me that sounds extremely corny and try-hard, like you were trying to come off as a badass or something. I don't think it won you any points with her honestly, judging by her response. She tried to end the conversation multiple times and you dragged it on by asking her a question. You need to know when to end the conversation, and had multiple opportunities to do so (talking about the concert, setting "plans" to drink together, etc).

Basically you should be using texting as a bridge to seeing her in person. I understand this is often times harder than it sounds, and at times requires a great deal of patience, but that's the point. She doesn't want someone she knows EVERYTHING about within a week. Not saying this is what you did, but if you continue down this road that's what you'll become. In the future, keep the texts to a minimum. A little bantering here and there is good, but none of this "do anything special recently?" or "who are you watching the movie with?" Hope that helps.

Alright thanks i'll keep this in mind. I don't think it really hurt my chances with her in the end because she still occasionally comments on my facebook statuses as if she looks at my profile or something.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

I am indeed from London.

I'm fed up with trying to encourage my friends so I'll just look on my own, probably look at some life drawing classes. Not only because it'll be a good way to meet people, but also because I want to continue it on now that college is over.

Oh and if anyone has any approach anxiety tips please help.

Be like Nike man. Just do it. You can do all of the motivating, warming up, by talking to other people, assuring yourself of what to say and do, but at the end of the day, the most important and most difficult thing is to just go up and open your mouth. The sooner you do it, the better it'll be, and once you've done it a few times, you'll get more comfortable with it and you won't worry so much. But sitting there thinking about doing it is just holding you up from an eventual screwup or you won't do anything it all while you're sitting there worrying. So yeah, see, like, go talk lol. That is how I got over it anyways.

 

[EXGN]

Oh and if anyone has any approach anxiety tips please help.

A friend of mine gave me this advice. Most of the time when men wanna talk to a girl, they come up with an excuse not to. "She looks like she's waiting for someone," "She's in an intense conversation with her friend," "That guy in the group is probably her boyfriend," "She looks like shes only into guys with A, B, C traits when I'm X, Y, Z," "I probably won't have anything interesting to say," etc.

Next time you catch yourself saying that, challenge yourself to come up with at least two other possible ways the interaction could play out. "She could think I dress really well," "That guy might just be a coworker and she's stuck with him because everyone else left," "She's wants someone to come over and talk to her," "she wants to make out with the next guy she talks to," etc.

You'll quickly realize you have no idea how people are going to react to your approach and how stupid it is to let yourself come to these baseless negative conclusions in the first place. It's all about mindset, man - the quicker you realize there is nothing wrong with talking to strangers, the better off you'll be.

 

[Eggo]

With that said, that conversation sucked. I'm sorry to be blunt, but it did. Like the guys in here have said, you're overcommunicating. To me that sounds extremely corny and try-hard, like you were trying to come off as a badass or something. I don't think it won you any points with her honestly, judging by her response.

Edited down your response, and I agree with what's quoted. If you're trying to seduce a girl you aren't friends with, you have to realize you're on the clock. There should be a sense of urgency to your initial interactions.

It's up to you to escalate the physicality. The more time you spend with her (texting time counts too) where that's not happening, the more danger that your 'hanging out' is going to be purely platonic.

If you start your interaction with her at maximum interest, every time you open your mouth, you risk saying something to cause her to lose interest. I keep the 'not in-person' communication to setting up the next date. Once you're in, you can shoot the shit and bullshit about whatever, but not at the beginning when the roles are still being defined.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Great post, Eggo.

I know this topic has been discussed before here, but anyone have experience in asking out someone who's working?

I did some Christmas shopping earlier today and saw this absolutely gorgeous girl working at Bath & Body Works. I have to go back there to pick something up later this week and was thinking of saying something to her if she's there. Wasn't quite sure if this was acceptable though.

Anyone have any opinions or ideas of what to say?

 

[ecurbj]

Great post, Eggo.

I know this topic has been discussed before here, but anyone have experience in asking out someone who's working?

I did some Christmas shopping earlier today and saw this absolutely gorgeous girl working at Bath & Body Works. I have to go back there to pick something up later this week and was thinking of saying something to her if she's there. Wasn't quite sure if this was acceptable though.

Anyone have any opinions or ideas of what to say?

"Hi, I need help finding this item..." or "do you have any recommendations for..."

You get what I'm saying. Stir up a conversation of that nature since she is at work, so you can get a feel for her. During that conversation observe her and see if she is showing interest (smiling, hype, body language, eye contact). Try to slip your number in there or try to get her number if the opportunity comes up.

Someone did this not to long ago. In fact he went up to a girl at checkout to get her number and she gave it to him. Haven't heard from him yet in this thread. I can imagine he was successful.

Try it. The worse she can say is no.

 

[overcast]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

 

[ecurbj]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

Was it your first time?

 

[Slayer-33]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

hahahaha

 

[overcast]

Lol. I assumed that would be the response. It was like my 5th time fingering/oral. I've posted in here quite a bit.

Just curious.

 

[ecurbj]

Lol. I assumed that would be the response. It was like my 5th time fingering/oral. I've posted in here quite a bit.

Just curious.

So it shouldn't be any different than the previous four times.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

Generally vaginas have a certain musk to them it being an internal oriface and all but it shouldn't ever ever ever be foul smelling (fuck your life if it does...that means she has an active infection down there).

 

[overcast]

So it shouldn't be any different than the previous four times.

I was more curious about your guys experiences with it. Assumed it would be pretty damn interesting.

Generally vaginas have a certain musk to them it being an internal oriface and all but it shouldn't ever ever ever be foul smelling (fuck your life if it does...that means she has an active infection down there).

Lol. Of course, makes sense. (It's not foul at all, as I said. So I'm good).

 

[warthog]

It doesn't really matter, but I'm a happy guy. Got a 2nd date with the girl I posted about a couple of days ago. I didn't really have any hope at the end of the date and we parted ways. Got a msg on my way home, started chatting again and we met the next day. That's when things took a turn for the better. Feels good...

 

[Boozeroony]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

I love to smell my fingers the morning after sex. It is such a distinguished smell... it leaves me satisfied.

 

[Miguel]

Since my last few updates have been fairly long, this one is just a quick stab, pretty happy where things are going with the same "concert girl" from a few weeks back. We're up to 5 dates, and things are going incredibly smooth and she seems to be way into me. As much if not moreso as I am into her. A different feeling than usual but I like it.

 

[Cubsfan23]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT8B7LSgvpA&feature=player_embedded

 

[Aurora]

I'm curious, how does vagina generally smell? It's not bad or good it seems. But the smell did not leave my finger for a long time last night lol. (of course I washed)

I find the smell amazing to be honest, probably largely because it immediately means I'm about to have sex. That sweet pussy nectar mmm

 

[ConradCervantes]

Last night was a doozy. I head out to the bar with a girl I'm seeing and a friend of hers for another friend's birthday party. We get started pretty quickly, beers followed by Scooby Snacks and tequila. By nine I was quite drunk. My girl and I are super flirtatious when we're drinking, so underneath the table there's a lot of touchy-feely stuff going on. Good times thus far.

In walks my ex and her boyfriend, along with a posse of five other guys. I spot the ex while grabbing my last beer, and remembering that the last time we communicated I said some pretty rude things to her, I felt badly. At the bar I quickly apologize for what I said, my cruelty went too far. She laughed it off and told me to enjoy myself, water under the bridge, all that good shit. I walked back to my table feeling good again.

A little later, I'm back up at the bar getting a drink for my girl, starting to sober up, when this fucking bro throws his arm over my shoulder and asks my name. I tell him, and he says that it'd be a REALLY good idea if I weren't to talk to my ex again. He left before I had a chance to respond, and that quickly put me in a bad mood. I whipped out my phone and texted the ex asking if that were really necessary, my apology was completely sincere and I wanted to leave it at that and enjoy myself. I got a reply from her phone a few minutes later from the very same guy who threatened me, saying that if I were to contact her again, we'd have to have another talk.

I responded by saying my piece once again, that my only intent was to apologize for our last convo and leave it alone thereafter, any additional drama was being supplied by them, not myself. Next response I get is from her boyfriend just telling me to drop it, because "she aint ever talkin 2 u."

At that point I go and take a piss, my rage just boiling over at this point. I leave the bathroom and see my girl and her friend sitting at a table by the bowling lanes, my girl crying on her friend's shoulder. I ask what's wrong, and the friend says my girl's ex just showed up. They had a long, bitter history apparently, and just seeing the dude made her break down. My girl apologized to me, saying it was rude to be acting like this in front of her. I shrug it off and show her my recent texts, saying I had a little drama of my own going on.

What made the situation so weird is that my girl's ex is also my ex's ex. I find him by the pool tables and we chat a bit about our mutual interests. We left on good terms, and my girl found me and asked what we spoke about. I declined to elaborate. She starts talking to the guy who threatened me earlier, and comes back to me saying we're going out for Denny's after we leave the bar. I informed her of the convo the guy and I had earlier, and she responds by telling me to "go home so she can set him straight." I wasn't pleased by this, and after refusing to kiss or hug her again, I wordlessly dropped them off at Denny's and sped away, my rage level at critical mass.

How do I keep finding myself buried under so much drama? Is some of it my doing and I don't even know it? Fucking hell, sometimes these fucking bitches aren't even worth the time.

 

[Bealost]

I really really wonder why people love to drink sometimes.

 

[Schlep]

How do I keep finding myself buried under so much drama? Is some of it my doing and I don't even know it?

 

[ecurbj]

I really really wonder why people love to drink sometimes.

Either to feel the buzz or get fucked up and pass out for the fun of it.

I drink a little till I feel a buzz and that's when I'm good and let go of the excessive alcohol. That 'LET'S GET FUUUCKED UP' is so immature. It starts to many problems in a long run (don't remember what you did, hangover, headache after waking up, start fights, could be loud and annoying and could be an angry drop).

 

[Raynes]

What's a best way to respond to a girl texting "I miss you", she says it a lot!

 

[ismaboof]

What's a best way to respond to a girl texting "I miss you", she says it a lot!

"Let's hang out"

 

[Raynes]

"Let's hang out"

If I can't at this time?

 

[Bryan1321]

That's an awesome sign. That shows you that she is interested. How much interest, your going to have to find that out on your own. You grew a pair to ask her so that's a plus not only to her to see that but to you as far as confidence is concerned for yourself.

. What was her reaction when you asked her for her number?

Well she first smiled and said "i never listen my phone"

It was you could say strange. as she smiled and i did the same when she gave me the number.

Im going to call her. but here comes the first problem. i really dont know what she likes (thats why i asked her out... to meet her) but for a first time

What would you reccomend??

 

[Calion]

Great post, Eggo.

I know this topic has been discussed before here, but anyone have experience in asking out someone who's working?

I did some Christmas shopping earlier today and saw this absolutely gorgeous girl working at Bath & Body Works. I have to go back there to pick something up later this week and was thinking of saying something to her if she's there. Wasn't quite sure if this was acceptable though.

Anyone have any opinions or ideas of what to say?

I've done this before. There's no fool-proof process to getting a number in this situation, but a nice compliment, smile, and eye contact can make an impact.

In my situation, I went out with a group of friends to a restaurant dressed nicely (Just came from work). The hostess welcomes us to restaurant x, asks me how many in this group and compliments my attire. I flirt back as we're being seated. We eat, pay, and as we're leaving, she asks us if we're "coming back again" but in a flirtatious manner. Sure enough, I go back next week just by myself, and she instantly recognizes me. We talk, flirt, and exchange numbers.

I'm assuming I made some sort of impact on the first visit for her to recognize me on the second. Make an impact.

Just go for it man. Worst case scenario, she says no. That's it. Play it cool and give us an update.

 

[bluemax]

A little update on my situation.

I can tell that my ex has decided that she does not want me back in her life as a boyfriend, let alone close friend for the time being. It really really hurts, but I know this is how she reacts to these types of situations and I can't really control it. It hurts a lot right now, but I know when I'm around my best friends later, this pain will go away.

It's been about 3 months since the break up and besides our big talk around Thanksgiving, we haven't really spoken much. I was planning on talking to her from time to time, but I'm too scared to and I really don't think I'm ready to start chatting her up again. As much as I want to, I'm not at my best. I still have a lot of insecurity issues that I need to work out and I'll be in the same position I was in just three months ago. For instance, I never did anything for me and I would get angry at the things I couldn't control. I've improved a lot, but those issues are still there. I need to become comfortable with myself and take care of me before I start to talk to her again seriously.

It all sucks to write this out, but this is what I need to do to make myself better. As much as I want her back, I can't control it at this point. I can influence the situation, but I can't change it. Having said that I've been chatting up a bunch of old summer flings, and things have been going well. I have a pretty good game and I can tell I could hook up with all of them right now, but I'm not ready for that yet. It's fun talking to them, but I'm too scared to pull the trigger. I guess that's my next step: I have to let her go completely.

Any tips on how I can do this?

You can't get over someone until you get under someone.