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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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GeneralIroh said:
Gotcha. When I call her how should I remind her that I'm that guy who asked her out. I've always felt awkward when I call a girl I just met. The previous attempts with different girls have been pretty unsuccessful.

First off, good job trying to change your ways. I think too many people get stuck being depressed and pathetic and wanting change but not doing anything about it.

If you've talked to her a few times before, you probably don't really have to remind her. If you call and say "Hi, It's (name)...", I'm sure she'll know who it is unless she passes her real phone number out like candy.

doogles said:
One of the best pieces of advice in these threads/ever is to just stop worrying about it so much. Worrying about it has never gotten me anywhere; things only happen when I stop giving a shit. That's when I start running into the right people and start doing the right things.

That's kind of good advice for everything, really. Have you seen the way some people post here and in the gaming forum? They get seriously uptight for the dumbest reasons.
 

Entropia

No One Remembers
GeneralIroh said:
Gotcha. When I call her how should I remind her that I'm that guy who asked her out. I've always felt awkward when I call a girl I just met. The previous attempts with different girls have been pretty unsuccessful.

Just do what The Shadow said. Say, "Hey, it's (name)..." and go from there. Like The Shadow said, unless she hands out her number to every flirty customer she will know who you are. then just kinda go from there.
 

Ether_Snake

安安安安安安安安安安安安安安安
WTF is this shit again with making a part 2 thread as if the threads were running out of space or something?

And why is the OP making this so much more complicated than necessary? The previous thread was fine. This is NeoGAF, not some dating Wiki.
 
Ether_Snake said:
WTF is this shit again with making a part 2 thread as if the threads were running out of space or something?

And why is the OP making this so much more complicated than necessary? The previous thread was fine. This is NeoGAF, not some dating Wiki.

Reduce load on the server I think.
 

-PXG-

Member
Ether_Snake said:
WTF is this shit again with making a part 2 thread as if the threads were running out of space or something?

And why is the OP making this so much more complicated than necessary? The previous thread was fine. This is NeoGAF, not some dating Wiki.

Well, I think it's safe to say that within those 401 pages (and over the course of one year) in the previous thread, a lot of information was repeated. A lot of folks would ask advice for the same problems over and over and over again.

So, anyone who doesn't need specific advice (or is too impatient), can refer to the OP for assistance. But anyone who needs more in depth help, or really doesn't know what to do, can ask us.
 

Ether_Snake

安安安安安安安安安安安安安安安
-PXG- said:
Well, I think it's safe to say that within those 401 pages (and over the course of one year) in the previous thread, a lot of information was repeated. A lot of folks would ask advice for the same problems over and over and over again.

So, anyone who doesn't need specific advice (or is too impatient), can refer to the OP for assistance. But anyone who needs more in depth help, or really doesn't know what to do, can ask us.

But it's completely impersonal as an approach so it's not really as useful as it seems. Much better to let people write exactly what the problem is, and get replies.
 

RevoDS

Junior Member
Ether_Snake said:
But it's completely impersonal as an approach so it's not really as useful as it seems. Much better to let people write exactly what the problem is, and get replies.
You can't do that if the OP actually contains information?

No, it's not nearly as useful as individual replies, but it's useful all-purpose basic info for those just starting out (which was, at the start, the very point of the previous thread). But it's a nice bonus that makes the thread richer and better.
 

-PXG-

Member
Ether_Snake said:
But it's completely impersonal as an approach so it's not really as useful as it seems. Much better to let people write exactly what the problem is, and get replies.

Well, its there if you need it. You don't HAVE to use it. Think of it as a nice supplement.
 

GiJoccin

Member
I started talking to this girl on match a month ago. She asked me if I wanted to hang out, so we picked a date and time. Date came around (Friday), and her car broke down. She asked if we could reschedule for 2 days later. I was texting her the next day and asked if she wanted to grab drinks that night, so we met up and got some drinks. She had worked 13 hours that day (she is a music tutor and works at a makeup salon) and she said she was out of it. But she made sure at the end of the date to say that she really wanted to meet up again, maybe dinner the next week. She texted me 2 days later to ask when I was free, we picked Saturday. Saturday rolls around and a girl at work was out sick. She couldn't make it. She said she was free Sunday. Sunday's here and guess what, she has to work AGAIN. She apologized. The next week is Thanksgiving, so we agreed after Thanksgiving we'd try to get together again.

I emailed her Sunday to see if she wanted to get together this week. She said she could do Wednesday, but she was working nights the entire week (apparently she works 7 days per week usually at the salon, + has many kids she tutors - basically she keeps telling me that her schedule is terrible). So today, I get an email and she "has to work all day Wednesday, FML, sorry, any other options?"

I'm kind of sick of getting cancelled on, I feel like if she wanted to date me, we'd be able to find times to hang out. Does it sound like she's just playing the "give me attention" game? I figured I'm kind of sick of these games, and I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and asked her if I could swing by after she gets off work tomorrow to kick it and have a drink or two (in different words of course), so I'll see how she responds to that. It's been almost 3 weeks since our first date..
 
GiJoccin said:
I started talking to this girl on match a month ago. She asked me if I wanted to hang out, so we picked a date and time. Date came around (Friday), and her car broke down. She asked if we could reschedule for 2 days later. I was texting her the next day and asked if she wanted to grab drinks that night, so we met up and got some drinks. She had worked 13 hours that day (she is a music tutor and works at a makeup salon) and she said she was out of it. But she made sure at the end of the date to say that she really wanted to meet up again, maybe dinner the next week. She texted me 2 days later to ask when I was free, we picked Saturday. Saturday rolls around and a girl at work was out sick. She couldn't make it. She said she was free Sunday. Sunday's here and guess what, she has to work AGAIN. She apologized. The next week is Thanksgiving, so we agreed after Thanksgiving we'd try to get together again.

I emailed her Sunday to see if she wanted to get together this week. She said she could do Wednesday, but she was working nights the entire week (apparently she works 7 days per week usually at the salon, + has many kids she tutors - basically she keeps telling me that her schedule is terrible). So today, I get an email and she "has to work all day Wednesday, FML, sorry, any other options?"

I'm kind of sick of getting cancelled on, I feel like if she wanted to date me, we'd be able to find times to hang out. Does it sound like she's just playing the "give me attention" game? I figured I'm kind of sick of these games, and I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and asked her if I could swing by after she gets off work tomorrow to kick it and have a drink or two (in different words of course), so I'll see how she responds to that. It's been almost 3 weeks since our first date..

Well, it's entirely up to you if you want to give her another chance or not.

I will say this though, some people are genuinely really busy and if she was just trying to blow you off, she wouldn't have texted you back asking if you were free on x day or asked if there were other options. A girl who's going to blow you off will say something like, "I'll be busy for the next few weeks, maybe then" or something really general and wishy-washy. They won't ever re-schedule themselves.
 

-PXG-

Member
GiJoccin said:
I started talking to this girl on match a month ago. She asked me if I wanted to hang out, so we picked a date and time. Date came around (Friday), and her car broke down. She asked if we could reschedule for 2 days later. I was texting her the next day and asked if she wanted to grab drinks that night, so we met up and got some drinks. She had worked 13 hours that day (she is a music tutor and works at a makeup salon) and she said she was out of it. But she made sure at the end of the date to say that she really wanted to meet up again, maybe dinner the next week. She texted me 2 days later to ask when I was free, we picked Saturday. Saturday rolls around and a girl at work was out sick. She couldn't make it. She said she was free Sunday. Sunday's here and guess what, she has to work AGAIN. She apologized. The next week is Thanksgiving, so we agreed after Thanksgiving we'd try to get together again.

I emailed her Sunday to see if she wanted to get together this week. She said she could do Wednesday, but she was working nights the entire week (apparently she works 7 days per week usually at the salon, + has many kids she tutors - basically she keeps telling me that her schedule is terrible). So today, I get an email and she "has to work all day Wednesday, FML, sorry, any other options?"

I'm kind of sick of getting cancelled on, I feel like if she wanted to date me, we'd be able to find times to hang out. Does it sound like she's just playing the "give me attention" game? I figured I'm kind of sick of these games, and I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and asked her if I could swing by after she gets off work tomorrow to kick it and have a drink or two (in different words of course), so I'll see how she responds to that. It's been almost 3 weeks since our first date..

Bail. She ain't worth your time. Never tolerate flaky bullshit like this. Even if she promised you pussy on the next date, you can't be too sure if she'd cancel on you again. There are plenty of other women out there with more consistent and balanced schedules. Busy or not, it's still annoying. So bail the fuck outta there. It's not worth the headache trying to make plans with her and think to yourself if you're getting played.
 

Entropia

No One Remembers
GiJoccin said:
I'm kind of sick of getting cancelled on, I feel like if she wanted to date me, we'd be able to find times to hang out. Does it sound like she's just playing the "give me attention" game? I figured I'm kind of sick of these games, and I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and asked her if I could swing by after she gets off work tomorrow to kick it and have a drink or two (in different words of course), so I'll see how she responds to that. It's been almost 3 weeks since our first date..

I had one of these types of girls from another dating site, it's an unfortunate chronic problem of always cancelling.

See how she responds to what you said. If she is too busy, then move on. One date in a few weeks? Not worth the trouble.
 
GiJoccin said:
I started talking to this girl on match a month ago. She asked me if I wanted to hang out, so we picked a date and time. Date came around (Friday), and her car broke down. She asked if we could reschedule for 2 days later. I was texting her the next day and asked if she wanted to grab drinks that night, so we met up and got some drinks. She had worked 13 hours that day (she is a music tutor and works at a makeup salon) and she said she was out of it. But she made sure at the end of the date to say that she really wanted to meet up again, maybe dinner the next week. She texted me 2 days later to ask when I was free, we picked Saturday. Saturday rolls around and a girl at work was out sick. She couldn't make it. She said she was free Sunday. Sunday's here and guess what, she has to work AGAIN. She apologized. The next week is Thanksgiving, so we agreed after Thanksgiving we'd try to get together again.

I emailed her Sunday to see if she wanted to get together this week. She said she could do Wednesday, but she was working nights the entire week (apparently she works 7 days per week usually at the salon, + has many kids she tutors - basically she keeps telling me that her schedule is terrible). So today, I get an email and she "has to work all day Wednesday, FML, sorry, any other options?"

I'm kind of sick of getting cancelled on, I feel like if she wanted to date me, we'd be able to find times to hang out. Does it sound like she's just playing the "give me attention" game? I figured I'm kind of sick of these games, and I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and asked her if I could swing by after she gets off work tomorrow to kick it and have a drink or two (in different words of course), so I'll see how she responds to that. It's been almost 3 weeks since our first date..

Sounds like it man, you could always just put it back onto her and tell her to pick a time and place. If she cancels a date she arranged then fuck that.
 

Max@GC

Member
bdizzle said:
Learn to go out by yourself. I do it all the time. Yes you feel awkward at first, but fuck it. Being able to go solo brings a whole new level of freedom.

I realized that I´ve never been out on my own. Feels like going into battle without any backup. But that surely strengthens your self esteem.
 
Just got back from a first date with a new girl - an opera singer. Went really well, even if the goodbye was a little awkward - I texted her after, apologized for the awkward goodbye, and told her I had a great time; she replied saying the same :)
 
ThLunarian said:
Just got back from a first date with a new girl - an opera singer. Went really well, even if the goodbye was a little awkward - I texted her after, apologized for the awkward goodbye, and told her I had a great time; she replied saying the same :)


How was the goodbye awkward if you don't mind sharing?

Lean in for a kiss and she bailed or other way around?
 

-PXG-

Member
ThLunarian said:
Just got back from a first date with a new girl - an opera singer. Went really well, even if the goodbye was a little awkward - I texted her after, apologized for the awkward goodbye, and told her I had a great time; she replied saying the same :)

Yeah, explain yourself. What was awkward? Leaned in for a kiss and she backed off? Hugged you instead? Spill it.
 
ThLunarian said:
Just got back from a first date with a new girl - an opera singer. Went really well, even if the goodbye was a little awkward - I texted her after, apologized for the awkward goodbye, and told her I had a great time; she replied saying the same :)
Nice! Should have done the same after my last awkward goodbye, but I don't think it had much of an impact.
 
Max@GC said:
I realized that I´ve never been out on my own. Feels like going into battle without any backup. But that surely strengthens your self esteem.
It boosts your self esteem, confidence, social skills, and actually allows you to know the real you. Knowing you have no one to fall back on, no peer reinforcements, no wing man, no one to give you an ego boost, nothing. Just you, your mouth, and your game.

You wanna test your manhood? Go some place where you know no one, you feel incredibly uncomfortable, and leave as the life of the party. Doing that will have your swag on a trillion and let you realize can't nobody tell you shit :lol
 
totally didnt realise 2nd OT was up. reposting in here

Hello again all.
Ive got a quick one, im sitting on the fence about a situation ill explain it breifly. hopefully some guidance/suggestions can be provided to move forward.

- My mate's Girlfriend (their relationship is pretty much a buisiness relationship)(she is arm candy) They are both young, 20/21
- Group of friends about 6-8 guys and her hang out on a regular basis. She gets joked at and treated like crap in general. Disrespected etc. (not violent or anything, just verbal abuse and jokes)
- I have been away for about 2 years, i returned and i think im really the only one thats nice to her.

Long story short, something was said the other day where i believe she was suggesting something to me. Her words were along the lines of.
when talking about her friends and chicks being required to be available to date she said
"maybe they arnt happy in their relationship and want an out/something else"

So i kind of got a underlying meaning from that but im not sure weather i should ask her about it or weather im seeing something thats not there.
 
Marshmellow said:
totally didnt realise 2nd OT was up. reposting in here

Hello again all.
Ive got a quick one, im sitting on the fence about a situation ill explain it breifly. hopefully some guidance/suggestions can be provided to move forward.

- My mate's Girlfriend (their relationship is pretty much a buisiness relationship)(she is arm candy) They are both young, 20/21
- Group of friends about 6-8 guys and her hang out on a regular basis. She gets joked at and treated like crap in general. Disrespected etc. (not violent or anything, just verbal abuse and jokes)
- I have been away for about 2 years, i returned and i think im really the only one thats nice to her.

Long story short, something was said the other day where i believe she was suggesting something to me. Her words were along the lines of.
when talking about her friends and chicks being required to be available to date she said
"maybe they arnt happy in their relationship and want an out/something else"

So i kind of got a underlying meaning from that but im not sure weather i should ask her about it or weather im seeing something thats not there.
Dating a girl who has just exited a long-term relationship sometimes does not work well.
 
doogles said:
Dating a girl who has just exited a long-term relationship sometimes does not work well.

That wasnt really the question....but yes im aware of this and unless she made a move i wouldnt say anything for a while
 
doogles said:
Just offering the warning because it's precisely what just bit me in the ass ;)

Fair enough, im looking at it objectively from the point of friend who cares rather than guy trying to get girl.
 

Veelk

Banned
Okay, I've decided that I'm going to ask a girl out on a date tomorrow, and, frankly, I'm nervous as shit. I was going to ask her out on a coffee date but I agree that an activity date (namely bowling) is a much better idea, since I know I can show her a good time then. But I'm just far more nervous asking that because I feel it has a greater chance of failure, and the nervousness amplifies that even more. I know most said that it just takes practice, but if there is any advise on how to be more confident, then I'd appreciate it.
 

vitaminwateryum

corporate swill
Generic said:
Okay, I've decided that I'm going to ask a girl out on a date tomorrow, and, frankly, I'm nervous as shit. I was going to ask her out on a coffee date but I agree that an activity date (namely bowling) is a much better idea, since I know I can show her a good time then. But I'm just far more nervous asking that because I feel it has a greater chance of failure, and the nervousness amplifies that even more. I know most said that it just takes practice, but if there is any advise on how to be more confident, then I'd appreciate it.

To quote Bruce Lee -
As you think, so shall you become.

Go in thinkin' like a winner, come out a winner.
 

Aesius

Member
I have officially determined that my ONLY reason for not getting laid regularly is my lack of trying. Better to realize that at 24 than 34, I guess.
 
Marshmellow said:
totally didnt realise 2nd OT was up. reposting in here

Hello again all.
Ive got a quick one, im sitting on the fence about a situation ill explain it breifly. hopefully some guidance/suggestions can be provided to move forward.

- My mate's Girlfriend (their relationship is pretty much a buisiness relationship)(she is arm candy) They are both young, 20/21
- Group of friends about 6-8 guys and her hang out on a regular basis. She gets joked at and treated like crap in general. Disrespected etc. (not violent or anything, just verbal abuse and jokes)
- I have been away for about 2 years, i returned and i think im really the only one thats nice to her.

Long story short, something was said the other day where i believe she was suggesting something to me. Her words were along the lines of.
when talking about her friends and chicks being required to be available to date she said
"maybe they arnt happy in their relationship and want an out/something else"

So i kind of got a underlying meaning from that but im not sure weather i should ask her about it or weather im seeing something thats not there.

You're just seeing something that's not there.
 
Generic said:
Okay, I've decided that I'm going to ask a girl out on a date tomorrow, and, frankly, I'm nervous as shit. I was going to ask her out on a coffee date but I agree that an activity date (namely bowling) is a much better idea, since I know I can show her a good time then. But I'm just far more nervous asking that because I feel it has a greater chance of failure, and the nervousness amplifies that even more. I know most said that it just takes practice, but if there is any advise on how to be more confident, then I'd appreciate it.

I don't think you could really apply this manually but being nervous about something is relative to the individual. Like a soldier going into combat is nervous and at that point if you asked him to talk to a girl he would do it without a care in the world. Just try and think about something that makes you even more nervous like bigger picture stuff and talking to a girl will seem like a simple matter.
 

Neki

Member
You recommend activity dates, but I'm terrible at bowling and billards, and I've never mini-golfed before. Sounds like a bad recipe for disaster to be honest. :lol
 

Entropia

No One Remembers
Ultimoo said:
You recommend activity dates, but I'm terrible at bowling and billards, and I've never mini-golfed before. Sounds like a bad recipe for disaster to be honest. :lol


That would actually make it a better experience, you can laugh at how terrible you are!!
 
If you're near a pool hall, go there. It's (usually) a social area, you don't have to be good at the game to pull off making a shot or two, you can (usually) drink, and most importantly, it gives you a great excuse to make physical contact.

But bowling is fun too.
 
DualShadow said:
How was the goodbye awkward if you don't mind sharing?

Lean in for a kiss and she bailed or other way around?
Well I had to drive her back to her car at the coffee place from dinner, and when I parked I got out of the car without thinking. Since I was already out, I went for a hug when she wasn't expecting it so I almost bumped into her. From there it was just kinda like "Well... Bye, drive safe" as we each got in our own cars.

Luckily, coffee and dinner went really well and I think we had a healthy chemistry, and conversation was upbeat and flowed well. If the rest of the date had been mediocre, the weird goodbye could have been the nail in the coffin, but right now I think I'm all good.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
Marshmellow said:
Fair enough, im looking at it objectively from the point of friend who cares rather than guy trying to get girl.
If this is true, why didn't you ask her if there were problems with her relationship? That's what friends do.
 

Desiato

Member
I went out with this girl a couple of days ago. Then she told me she has a boyfriend. :(

...

But she's fighting with him right now.:D This might blow up in my face, but fuck it, I like her and when I'll see her again I'll just see what happens and go from there.
 

Max@GC

Member
from the op
"She only having guy friends"

Is this always a red flag? I met a girl who said that she only has guy friends because she doesn´t get along with girls very well...
 
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