-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
- Start date
- Status
Nothing wrong with a girl having platonic male support. But at the same time, every guy she is friends with, is another potential dick you have to compete against. In most cases, if a guy is friends with a girl, he probably wants to date or fuck her too, just like you do.Max@GC said:
I'm not going to front, I'd date and/ or fuck most (if not all) of my female friends. Most of them know it too :lol But hey. It doesn't spoil our friendship at all.
Enco said:
Updated.
Remember, PM me whenever you update the OP. Also, the part where you have "female race", change it to "female half of our species".
ThLunarian
Member
I hadn't considered that, thanks. She said she doesn't really like performing though, and is only doing it on the side for extra dough til she can graduate and land a job teaching music, so hopefully I'm in the clear.ronito said:
Unless of course, she gets discovered and turns famous. I'm not sure how good she is.
Lionheart1827
Member
Dina said:
Indeed, pool is great for dates. Unfortunately, a lot of douchebags tend to hang around pool halls, but whatever.
I kind of suck at it and I took my date there last time I saw her. We had a real good time, we ended up playing like 5 or 6 games. So many times we'd make horrible misses, scratches and just laugh at each other since we both kind of suck at it.
Whoa, the OP is pretty beastly now. Great effort! 
This thread is moving pretty fast too!
Went to dinner with my coworker last night. Still trying to break the coworker/friend's zone as subtlely as possible but I think it's a lost cause. I'll keep trying though. :lol
About the activities during a date, I agree with others. Just hype yourself to be this pro. The irony when she sees how terrible you really are will usually get a good laugh.
This thread is moving pretty fast too!
Went to dinner with my coworker last night. Still trying to break the coworker/friend's zone as subtlely as possible but I think it's a lost cause. I'll keep trying though. :lol
About the activities during a date, I agree with others. Just hype yourself to be this pro. The irony when she sees how terrible you really are will usually get a good laugh.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
y2dvd said:Whoa, the OP is pretty beastly now. Great effort!
This thread is moving pretty fast too!
Went to dinner with my coworker last night. Still trying to break the coworker/friend's zone as subtlely as possible but I think it's a lost cause. I'll keep trying though. :lol
About the activities during a date, I agree with others. Just hype yourself to be this pro. The irony when she sees how terrible you really are will usually get a good laugh.
Probably for the best. Dipping your pen in company ink can be a total disaster.
EzLink said:
I may not have had a million girlfriends or have fucked the world, but I'm very confident in my spit game and very good with my hands. I guess being artistic and creative helps. I'll focus on those bits when I add in my two cents.
I was going to take it upon myself to write the entire OP, but so many of you have been extremely generous and forthcoming with your own tidbits of info. Please, keep them coming. Enco and I will be more than happy to add what you guys have to say, in the OP.
Feel free to PM me or Enco stuff you think might be applicable for the OP. However, please keep in mind and adhere to the format, so it will make it easier for Enco, and myself, to separate and categorize each piece of info.
Thanks a bunch.
What do you guys think about something like:
Getting A Girl in 6 Steps
Just a simple guide. Nothing too serious.
Glad you like the op. GAF did well.
Getting A Girl in 6 Steps
- Talk to her. Be confident and happy. Make her laugh
- Ask her for her number. If she gives it to you, move on to the next step. If not, go back to the first one and try with a different girl
- Call her up (DON'T TEXT) and tell her when to meet you for a date (i.e. 'Wanna go out for lunch tomorrow at XXX place?')
- Be smiley and happy. Make her laugh some more and get close. Don't get too touchy feely though. It depends on your aim. If it's to get laid, more touching is fine. If it's for a long lasting relationship, limit touching to a minimum. Remember this is just the first date
- If the first date went well, call her up and ask her out again. Not too soon after (still talk to her every now and then). If she declines, start from the top of the list with a different girl
- You should be getting a bit closer now. Keep repeating steps 3-5. Ask her out and keep seeing how things progress. If all is well, you're in
- Follow the rest of the information in this thread
Just a simple guide. Nothing too serious.
Glad you like the op. GAF did well.
Fuck, slowly beginning to suspect that the girl from that dating site who I recontacted may have used a deceptive photo. Definitely will be asking this girl for additional pictures before even thinking about setting a date.
And maybe I'm trying to move to fast again. I can barely stopping thinking about the previous girl. As silly and pathetic it may sound, I miss her. If only I could get a second chance.
And maybe I'm trying to move to fast again. I can barely stopping thinking about the previous girl. As silly and pathetic it may sound, I miss her. If only I could get a second chance.
Danielsan said:Fuck, slowly beginning to suspect that the girl from that dating site who I recontacted may have used a deceptive photo. Definitely will be asking this girl for additional pictures before even thinking about setting a date.
And maybe I'm trying to move to fast again. I can barely stopping thinking about the previous girl. As silly and pathetic it may sound, I miss her. If only I could get a second chance.
Always a good idea, just don't be a prick about it. I try to be as diplomatic and light hearted as possible about it. For instance, I might say something like this:
With this statement, you're requesting additional photos, but without forcing the issue. Also, it won't make you look like an ass for asking, or make you seem upset if she refuses. You want to show a girl that you are a big boy and can handle rejection. Sometimes acting cool about it will make her change her mind (happened to me twice yesterday), but don't count on that. And of course, you're giving her a compliement and not over doing it. Basically, it's a short and quick statement chock full of potential brownie points, and obviously, more pics of her.
Or, you can joke about how you just want to make sure she's not fat (or completely hideous), just as much she wants to make sure you're not a rapist. But only say something like that if you're really good with humor (and I mean REAAAAAAAAAAALLLY good) and consistently make people laugh. If not, stay far away from shit like that. If you fail, the result is an instant train wreck. Kiss it goodbye.
I had two sad things happen to me Monday night
First off, I saw my favorite band in concert for the first time. They are a metal band from Germany, so, naturally I don't know many other people IRL who are into them (especially girls). While I was talking with a few people I met at the show, I noticed this pretty girl kept looking right at me and laughing at everything I said. Everyone was joking around, but she seemed to be focusing exclusively on MY witty banter. Then the band came on. She was rocking out and was singing all of the lyrics
Holy shit I must talk to this girl, I think to myself
...right before noticing she is already with a dude who has his arm wrapped around her waist. Fuck!
Then on my way home from the show I stopped at a gas station (this was around 1 AM). As I'm leaving, these two incredibly beautiful blondes stopped me and asked if I had anything that would unlock their car (they locked the keys in). Unfortunately for them, I'm not a thief that carries a lock pick kit around. They said they had called all of the locksmiths but they were all closed (duh, its 1 AM). Still, they were both friendly and beautiful, and it sucked having to walk out without being able to help them. A shady gas station in the middle of nowhere at 1 in the morning is no place for two pretty girls to be stranded
Anyway, on to an actual question: I'm setting a goal for myself to get into a relationship in 2011 (and if it doesn't happen, I'll still be happy so long as I put forth the effort and make progress). I'm thinking of having an OKC profile set up as a supplement to real life interactions, but I'm not sure how actively I'm going to search for people on the site. Would it be a waste of time to create a good profile in hopes of having girls message me first, or should I just hold off unless I'm at a point where I'm willing to scour profiles and send messages? On the one hand, it seems like having an account up certainly can't hurt my chances. But on the other, I'm lazy and don't want to spend time setting up a worthwhile profile if there is a slim to none chance that girls will be the initiators
I had an OKC profile for a few months a long time ago and never had a girl start anything, but my profile was shitty and I was 40 lbs heavier at the time. I'm sure I would fare better now, but again I want my primary focus to be on real life interactions
First off, I saw my favorite band in concert for the first time. They are a metal band from Germany, so, naturally I don't know many other people IRL who are into them (especially girls). While I was talking with a few people I met at the show, I noticed this pretty girl kept looking right at me and laughing at everything I said. Everyone was joking around, but she seemed to be focusing exclusively on MY witty banter. Then the band came on. She was rocking out and was singing all of the lyrics
Holy shit I must talk to this girl, I think to myself
...right before noticing she is already with a dude who has his arm wrapped around her waist. Fuck!
Then on my way home from the show I stopped at a gas station (this was around 1 AM). As I'm leaving, these two incredibly beautiful blondes stopped me and asked if I had anything that would unlock their car (they locked the keys in). Unfortunately for them, I'm not a thief that carries a lock pick kit around. They said they had called all of the locksmiths but they were all closed (duh, its 1 AM). Still, they were both friendly and beautiful, and it sucked having to walk out without being able to help them. A shady gas station in the middle of nowhere at 1 in the morning is no place for two pretty girls to be stranded
Anyway, on to an actual question: I'm setting a goal for myself to get into a relationship in 2011 (and if it doesn't happen, I'll still be happy so long as I put forth the effort and make progress). I'm thinking of having an OKC profile set up as a supplement to real life interactions, but I'm not sure how actively I'm going to search for people on the site. Would it be a waste of time to create a good profile in hopes of having girls message me first, or should I just hold off unless I'm at a point where I'm willing to scour profiles and send messages? On the one hand, it seems like having an account up certainly can't hurt my chances. But on the other, I'm lazy and don't want to spend time setting up a worthwhile profile if there is a slim to none chance that girls will be the initiators
I had an OKC profile for a few months a long time ago and never had a girl start anything, but my profile was shitty and I was 40 lbs heavier at the time. I'm sure I would fare better now, but again I want my primary focus to be on real life interactions
Mike Works
Member
I think there's one incredibly important point that a lot of people in this thread don't seem to be grasping:
Sex leads to relationships (if you want it to).
Those of you who are feeling down because you think this thread is nothing but a 'how to get laid' guide... you're not looking at things the right way.
Sex leads to relationships (if you want it to).
Those of you who are feeling down because you think this thread is nothing but a 'how to get laid' guide... you're not looking at things the right way.
ThLunarian
Member
Okcupid is a wonderful site for meeting women, but it's a very different experience for men vs for women. Women get dozens of profile views per day and multiple messages from various guys; it's a never-ending stream of attention. Unless they're completely horrid, they pretty much are able to sit back and wait for an interesting guy to come to them.EzLink said:
I, on the other hand, consider myself fairly desirable and attractive for a guy, and I get excited if a halfway pretty female even looks at my profile without me messaging her first. This happens maybe once a month if I'm lucky, usually less.
So, don't expect any women to come to you on that site.
EzLink said:
Man, the blondes were missed opportunity. Whatever, not that big of a loss.
Anyway, like in real life, girls are very unlikely to come to you. Naturally, we (guys) are the ones who are generally more assertive and take initiative. So if you want to get noticed on OKC, look around and read girls' profiles that interest you. As silly as the questions are, answering more of them will help find better matches (or at least attempt to).
Just keep in mind, that most girls get a shit load of spam and junk mail online, from a bunch of creeps or guys with nothing more to say than a simple"hi". Do your best to stand out, so she won't ignore or delete your message. Make sure to custom tailor your messages for every girl you write to. Refer to stuff you read in her profile. If she says she likes jazz, ask her what her favorite jazz artists are. If she likes to cook, ask her what things she likes to cook. And so on and so forth. You get the point.
Write as much as you can about yourself in your profile, without giving too much away. Be honest and be yourself. Also, it goes without saying that you want to post pics that show off and accentuate your physical appearance. Just don't appear too cocky. Smile, but don't look too goofy. Be sure not to be a prick and brazenly show off abs and muscles either. That will make you seem narcissistic and self centered as hell.
EDIT
If you have a nice physique, show it off in less overt manner. Wear a tight t-shirt, or some kind of clothing that gives girls a hint that you have a nice body. Tease them a bit. That way, you don't come off as "look at me, I have a muscles but have an IQ of a rock!" You want to show off every good asset you have, but without shoving it down people's throats. It's a very careful and difficult balance to achieve. But with time and practice, you'll hone it.
ThLunarian said:
Okay, good to know. I'll wait until I have more of an interest in the online dating scene
-PXG- said:
It did feel like a missed opportunity, but then again I'm not sure what I could have done differently. First of all I looked like shit (sweaty from the concert) and sounded like shit (voice out from screaming at the concert) so that wasn't helping me. I asked where they were from too, and it's a city about 2.5 hours away from were I live (and fuck long distance shit). I wished them luck and told them to be careful, but short of giving them a ride back to their home (hours out of my way) so they could get a spare key I don't think there was much else I could have done
Good advice too for the OKC stuff. I'll come back to it whenever I decide to create a profile
EzLink said:
Alright, so it was no loss at all then.
Also, if for some reason you have real life female friends that you have no interest in dating or fucking, have them give you an award on OKC. Yeah, it sounds silly, but if you have positive remarks (especially from girls), other girls will most likely favor you more. It's just one way of getting you noticed. It's essentially a female to female recommendation. It can't hurt you.
Lionheart1827
Member
EzLink said:
I know you from the metal thread so I feel compelled to share my two cents. I've had an okcupid for the past 2 years since my last breakup. Its a nice free site and 90% of the time the girls will want somebody to message them. Doesn't mean they won't message you first, but those are usual the gross or problem girls. Funny thing is the current girl I'm seeing I met through okcupid and she even messaged me. She lives in the same town and we even went to the same kindergarten all the way up to the same college and we never knew eachother existed. We've been out a few times and already I can easily see a genuine connection between her and I. We are both shy people and so we clicked almost immediately.
Honestly OKC is more of a make a good profile and search and message every 3 months or so. But you never know who will message you. Might as well throw up a profile, unless you're scared of somebody seeing you on it, if not, no harm done right?
But definitely go out and talk to people. I find that once you get somebody to smile everything seems much easier. Also, even though it sucks that girl liked the same music as you, doesn't rule out the possibility of getting your future g/f into it. Ya never know.
(And blind guardian kicks ass!)
Gareth Bale
Member
From the OP:
Should probably change the "her" to "them".
-PXG- said:
Should probably change the "her" to "them".
Solideliquid
Member
Want to add...Enco said:
If panties don't drop by date #4, bail.
Eggo said:
:lol
I must be really smooth or lucky, because I get away with both of those all the time. You are right about the tonality thing. But again, I somehow get away with it. I did mention that one should tread with caution. My approach is assertive, yet diplomatic. That's just how I do it, But do it your way, not mine. I was only giving an example. Don't repeat what I posted, verbatim, unless you feel like it will work. Only do what you're cool with. Don't exceed your comfort zone too much. Failure and rejection will help you learn and improve, but don't set yourself up for it. Avoid fucking up, if at all possible. Of course, that is easier said than done.
TurboLibre
Member
Mike Works said:
I can say, with no exaggeration, that every single man in the world knows sex can lead to a relationship. Not everyone is willing to sleep with someone they don't care about though.
Thought I would let you guys know that the main op has now been updated with some more detail under quite a few pointers, the 6 steps to getting a girl list and a few other minor changes.
As PXG said, let us know of any things you would like to see!
This should help those who don't want to post their story and it's a good reference point for general advice.
As PXG said, let us know of any things you would like to see!
This should help those who don't want to post their story and it's a good reference point for general advice.
Added this to a previous post. Regarding your photos online:
If you have a nice physique, show it off in less overt manner. Wear a tight t-shirt, or some kind of clothing that gives girls a hint that you have a nice body. Tease them a bit. That way, you don't come off as "look at me, I have nice muscles but have an IQ of a rock!". Plus, it gives them a reason to want to find out what you look like underneath, and perhaps, more about your personality.
Again, ultimately its up to you to decide how you want to portray yourself and what kind of girls you want to attract. However, I suggest showing off every good asset you have, but without shoving it down people's throats, and without giving everything away too soon. It's a very careful and difficult balance to achieve. But with time and practice, you'll hone it.
If you have a nice physique, show it off in less overt manner. Wear a tight t-shirt, or some kind of clothing that gives girls a hint that you have a nice body. Tease them a bit. That way, you don't come off as "look at me, I have nice muscles but have an IQ of a rock!". Plus, it gives them a reason to want to find out what you look like underneath, and perhaps, more about your personality.
Again, ultimately its up to you to decide how you want to portray yourself and what kind of girls you want to attract. However, I suggest showing off every good asset you have, but without shoving it down people's throats, and without giving everything away too soon. It's a very careful and difficult balance to achieve. But with time and practice, you'll hone it.
Solideliquid said:
nvm. read it wrong.
I read it as, "If panties drop by date #4, bail." I was about to say, what the hell is wrong with you man? What would you say if it happened on the first date? Run home screaming? :lol
czartim said:
I will gladly give him my tag. Bish, make it so.
EDIT
I just realized...Everyone, please disregard all of the contents in the OP and feel free to quote it in conjunction with my tag.
please don't
jon bones said:
Good point. But I figured I'd ask since there are people asking for all sorts of advice. I mean nothing by this, but we have some folks who've never kissed a girl, to some who just need that little boost or that little tip to help their bedroom skills. Personally, I want to cater and help as many people as possible. Sure, there are some looking for casual sex, others who are looking for a girlfriend, and some who just want platonic relationship with a female.
In no way is this thread made to intimidate, humiliate or put anyone down. The only bad thing I see happening (which happened in the last thread), is when some people willfully and blatantly ignore those who are trying to help them, or completely disregard the sound advice that is given to them. If you're not going to at least try to listen or put in some semblance of effort, don't waste your, or our, time. I understand that this can be hard for some folks. Everyone in here should be as patient and kind as possible. But don't abuse or take advantage of others' good will, thats all.
Anyway, everyone learns and grows at their own pace. So if you haven't kissed a girl, you're a virgin or haven't had anal sex with two midgets in clown makeup, don't feel bad. We're all here to help each other.
twilitesparklemotion
Member
What is the NeoGAF's opinion on texting? I personally HATE talking on the phone with anyone, so I prefer it. I think it's becoming more acceptable.
Lionheart1827 said:
Fellow metal brethren!
Awesome that a cool girl actually initiated contact with you. I think maybe I will put one up now, because why not? If I don't care that much anyway then there won't be a whole lot of pressure on building a good profile (which is my main obstacle... I hate taking the time to write about myself in a clever and interesting way. I'm never happy with what I end up with and it makes me frustrated). I can always hone it and refine it as time goes on
Anyway, best of luck to you and the girl you are now seeing. Hope it continues to go well!
Feel free to make a list about reading body language, physical contact and kino.
I guess someone can start condensing this if you want to:
http://www.attractology.com/articles/outer-game/kino-art-touch/
I guess someone can start condensing this if you want to:
http://www.attractology.com/articles/outer-game/kino-art-touch/
The Rules of Touching
How's that?
- Initial contact should last no more than 3-5 seconds
- When you're starting out, you can't touch a woman in any sexual way. Make sure it's non-threatening and harmless. Graze her arm or give her a high five for example
- Don't hold or touch her for too long. If you do so, you'll end up in creepy/pervert territory
- No touching in inappropriate places (early on)
- After you're more comfortable with each other, you can move on to things such as kissing and holding hands
- Obviously don't take things too far too fat and if she doesn't want it or isn't ready, stop
How's that?
DualShadow
Member
Enco said:
No fatties :lol
jon bones said:
The Rules of Touching
- Initial contact should last no more than 3-5 seconds
- When you're starting out, you can't touch a woman in any sexual way. Make sure it's non-threatening and harmless. Graze her arm or give her a high five for example. If you want to move a bit past that (but still not too far) you can touch her on the back
- Don't hold or touch her for too long. If you do so, you'll end up in creepy/pervert territory
- No touching in inappropriate places (early on)
- After you're more comfortable with each other, you can move on to things such as kissing and holding hands
- Obviously don't take things too far too fast and if she doesn't want it or isn't ready, stop
How would you want it phrased? As I have it in the second pointer?
:lol OopsDualShadow said:
Solideliquid
Member
I still think we need a section on breakup tips, bring this thread full circle.
- Status