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[BronzeWolf]

GAF GAF GAF I come in need for some tips!!!

 

[whitehawk]

GAF GAF GAF I come in need for some tips!!!

With what exactly?

 

[hellclerk]

GAF GAF GAF I come in need for some tips!!!

Blahblah Confidence blahblahblah touching her hair blahblahblahblah don't forget to pop your 7 collars blah blah.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Check out my okcupid profile, gaf. Great profile, or greatest profile?

Honestly I don't expect much from this though. I figured it couldn't hurt to sign up, but I'll keep focusing on trying to meet people in real life. Also, is it crass of me to say that okcupid

Spoiler

seems to be full of fat chicks

? Probably.

It's crap! I am an EE, I understood everything you said, and even I found it boring. I am in OKcupid to get to know FUN people, not study for a test. I am going to be harsh, but that's because I <3 you, lol

I will go into details:

Yeah, so I wasn't sure how to start this exactly, and I decided I needed like a seed topic to get me started

Starting off bad. I would scrap this line. Girls don't like insecure guys.

I thought, why not get a random word somewhere and then use that as a jumping off point?

Why not talk about yourself instead? Is a random word more interesting than you?

So I googled "random word", and the first random word that I got was accelerometer.

If you are going to go this way, you know you can choose the random word right? Choose something sexy like "chocolate" or "flying". No one is going to check

And I was like "fuck yeah, that's an awesome random word to get, this worked out way better than I thought it would."

No cursing. Talking to one self makes it seem like you have no one to talk to

So basically accelerometers are devices that measure acceleration, which is the second derivative of position (although if one wants to be specific - and when it comes to metrology, who doesn't? - they're actually not actually measuring acceleration, but rather something more like the force experienced by the device)

Most people don't know what a derivative IS. They saw in High School and promptly forgot about it. That is not bad. I bet you can't recall the whole periodic table by memory like most Biosciences girls I get messages from. But also, they don't put that in their wall

They're found in laptops, cellphones, Wii remotes, cameras, rockets, and I guess other stuff.

You guess? Do you know what you are talking about or not?

More sensitive accelerometers are used to measure the earth's gravitational field, which I guess is useful if you want to know where on earth you will be lightest and/or heaviest.

I think this line is good, but no girl wants to be heaviest. I would add a line like "Where on earth you are light or lighter"

Also, I just found out that there's such thing as superconducter-based accelerometers, and they can measure gravity precisely enough to detect when there's snow on a roof, which is pretty easily the coolest thing I've heard today.

If that's the coolest thing you heard today, most people will think you are not very exciting (I found it cool, but then again, I am an EE)

The point is, it's cool that the random word was accelerometer, because I'm in physics, and acceleration is a...physics...dealie.

Something's not cool just because you say so. Physics are cool in and by themselves, you don't have to make them OVER 9000 for them to be cool. Let other people get interested with physics by their own curiosity

Concept. It's relevant, is what I'm saying. And given the number of words in the english language (at LEAST 200 I think), it seems pretty unlikely to get a non-irrelevant word. So hurray for serendipitous outputs from pseudo-random number generators is the moral here it would seem.

Total gibberish. You want to impress, but I doubt anyone got this far. Also, you've got to hit enter. Remember that your sections must be 2 to 3 paragraphs long at most.

PhD in Physics

And? are you in school all day and night long? Of course you are, but what else do you do or would you want to do? You know, something a girl can relate and get interested in, besides your work.

Those not blinded by my almost comically handsome face usually notice that I'm kind of tall. It's apparently noticeable enough that some people feel the need to immediately comment on it. But again this is from the non-blinded people, so that's a pretty small sample size to be working with.

Love it. It's a little bit cocky and you do not have the goods to pull it off, but it's a good attitude.

Food: I could pretty happily each pizza for the rest of my life. So I have a fairly sophisticated palette is what I'm trying to say.

Try something more interesting. Nothing wrong with pizza (actually, plenty of wrong) but food can be a great conversation starter and even a date idea. Experiment si good, especially if you are tasting new food with good company

Fuck that, I'm just going to talk about accelerometers some more.

No Cursing. And WTF, who the hell wants to know more about accelerometers? Visitors expect to know what is important to you. Visitors don't like to get tricked, especially if they have read this far.

So the accelerometers that have recently become so popular in consumer electronics are called MEMS - short for micro-electro mechanical systems. In general these work using a cantilever beam as a test mass. Basically when the accelerometer is accelerated the beam is deflected by some amount. This changes a particular electronic property in the integrated circuitry (usually the capacitance between two fixed beams), which can be measured. Proper calibration allows this measured capacitance change to be converted into an acceleration. Accelerometers can measure accelerations up to 1000's of g's (which a dropped object might experience when it hits the ground, say), but in general a trade off must be made between the maximum measurable acceleration and the precision of the accelerometer.

I will put it in words you can understand. Each of these expression decreases the probability function of a visitor staying at your profile: MEMS, micro-electro mechanical. Cantilever. Bea. Test Mass. Deflected. integrated circuitry. Capacitance. Callibration. g's. maximum measurable acceleration. precision.

Dude, what you are talking about is cool! But save this cool info for the date.

Other uses of accelerometers include: detecting when to deploy air bags in cars, measuring seismic activity, counting steps in pedometers, monitoring machine integrity, and even sensing the depth of chest compressions during CPR.

Save us time and paste the wikipedia link

As mentioned, the most precise accelerometers are superconducting gravimeters. These have sensitivities equal to one trillionth of the earth's gravitational field. So now when you say "Yo mamma's so fat her gravitational field can be detected," you'll be telling the truth.

The punchline is lame, which is... more cursing, yaaay.


Do you want an okcupid profile or not? It seems you don't and if you don't, I don't know why you posted this. Maybe you are having good results, but hell, what do I know

 

[BronzeWolf]

Blahblah Confidence blahblahblah touching her hair blahblahblahblah don't forget to pop your 7 collars blah blah.

With what exactly?

Lol, this is something more technical. I went to get 2 wisdom teeth removed last Tuesday. It was a maxillofacial so it was going to be a pretty hardcore business and expecting to suffer a lot, I went comfortable. That means I did not do my hair and was wearing shorts (never wear shorts!). So I get there and lo and behold the Dr's assistant is pretty and hot as hell. To top it off, since you can't really drive anywhere after the procedure, and was recommended to go straight home I asked my mom to take me (YES I KNOW, STFU).

So here I am, 15 minutes waiting for the Dr and I talked a little bit to the girl but not much. The Dr. arrives and the procedure starts. It's going to last a while. She needs help eventually and calls her assistant and I shudder more. Here I am, with my filthy mouth wide open, pouring blood and saliva all over, and the assistant is pulling my tongue while I go through the most uncomfortable procedure ever invented (hyperbole). I try to make due with what I have and remain with the most positive attitude through the whole thing. I try to joke around and I make her and the Dr. laugh quite a few times.

At the end I get my wisdom tooth removed and the assistant throws them by mistake into the thrash can. The Dr then instructs her to get them back. She starts looking through the thrash can while I try to catch my balance in the chair (fucking Anesthesia). After a while I tell her that it's ok, I don't mind it, but she has to bring me money instead of the tooth fairy. She laughs.

Here comes the kick though. Dr shouts NO TALKING. So here I am stuck with a warmed up assistant and I can't talk! OH SHIT! My mom comes pick me up and girl says bye. I can't talk!

I have to get my stitches removed next Monday morning, and I think I already have a plan.

- Call the Dr's office early tomorrow, because I "forgot" the appointment's time, play it dummy.
- On Monday, get there early (I am the first patient) and get her phone.

Oh and btw, there might be the possibility that she is a minor! What do you guys think? Is this doable?

 

[Calantus]

So i was introduced to one of my good friends cousin last week, (and his cousin was introducing him to one of her friends) and we were supposed to hang at my new place. So things changed and we didn't hang for long.

She seemed to like me but she made it clear she didn't want a relationship (via text). Now she wants to hang at my place alone this weekend and watch some movies. So i'm not sure what her intentions are (i have an idea, just like you, but its impossible to know).

I'm thinking i'm gonna let her make the first move, but she might be expecting me to do it. any suggestions?


i mean, who wants to be just friends and watch a movie alone with the person a week after meeting them? without other intentions? I've never been in one night stand before, or a fuck buddy kind of thing. So this is new territory for me tbh

 

[BronzeWolf]

So i was introduced to one of my good friends cousin last week, (and his cousin was introducing him to one of her friends) and we were supposed to hang at my new place. So things changed and we didn't hang for long.

She seemed to like me but she made it clear she didn't want a relationship (via text). Now she wants to hang at my place alone this weekend and watch some movies. So i'm not sure what her intentions are (i have an idea, just like you, but its impossible to know).

I'm thinking i'm gonna let her make the first move, but she might be expecting me to do it. any suggestions?


i mean, who wants to be just friends and watch a movie alone with the person a week after meeting them? without other intentions? I've never been in one night stand before, or a fuck buddy kind of thing. So this is new territory for me tbh

Make the move, what do you have to lose?

 

[SRG01]

LOL, so I just thought of the perfect way to flirt with my date on Sunday. It's the day after my birthday, so I can tease her for a birthday kiss or something!

But yeah, we have really good rapport and connection with each other. I don't want to fuck this up because all my second dates end badly for some reason!

 

[hellclerk]

Lol, this is something more technical. I went to get 2 wisdom teeth removed last Tuesday. It was a maxillofacial so it was going to be a pretty hardcore business and expecting to suffer a lot, I went comfortable. That means I did not do my hair and was wearing shorts (never wear shorts!). So I get there and lo and behold the Dr's assistant is pretty and hot as hell. To top it off, since you can't really drive anywhere after the procedure, and was recommended to go straight home I asked my mom to take me (YES I KNOW, STFU).

So here I am, 15 minutes waiting for the Dr and I talked a little bit to the girl but not much. The Dr. arrives and the procedure starts. It's going to last a while. She needs help eventually and calls her assistant and I shudder more. Here I am, with my filthy mouth wide open, pouring blood and saliva all over, and the assistant is pulling my tongue while I go through the most uncomfortable procedure ever invented (hyperbole). I try to make due with what I have and remain with the most positive attitude through the whole thing. I try to joke around and I make her and the Dr. laugh quite a few times.

At the end I get my wisdom tooth removed and the assistant throws them by mistake into the thrash can. The Dr then instructs her to get them back. She starts looking through the thrash can while I try to catch my balance in the chair (fucking Anesthesia). After a while I tell her that it's ok, I don't mind it, but she has to bring me money instead of the tooth fairy. She laughs.

Here comes the kick though. Dr shouts NO TALKING. So here I am stuck with a warmed up assistant and I can't talk! OH SHIT! My mom comes pick me up and girl says bye. I can't talk!

I have to get my stitches removed next Monday morning, and I think I already have a plan.

- Call the Dr's office early tomorrow, because I "forgot" the appointment's time, play it dummy.
- On Monday, get there early (I am the first patient) and get her phone.

Oh and btw, there might be the possibility that she is a minor! What do you guys think? Is this doable?

Make the move, what do you have to lose?

.

Seriously though, don't worry about it. Also, consider that the age of consent in most states is 16, possibly more, possibly less. Look that up if that's what you're worried about.

 

[Bam Bam Baklava]

So I recently started school and while I haven't had much trouble socializing with anyone I haven't been able to pull any girls or anything. Is it better to wait and not push anything or be going around while I'm there trying to talk to girls?

 

[bluemax]

This reminds me of a story, I was at the mall a year or so ago. I went to the rest room and this dude comes in all excited. I'm taking a piss and he comes up to me and he's like, "Hey man I'm about to get me a latina!" He wanted me to follow him out so I could see the chick and what not. Too his credit she was pretty hot.

So question dating gaf, what's a good second date? I met up with this girl for coffee on Saturday and I want to do something casual this week. There's a place near me that does Punk Rock Karaoke on Wednesday (with actual band) I was thinking about inviting her to that, and if not finding something Friday/Saturday to do.

So she agreed to this, but then last night texted me saying she wasn't feeling up to going out. I texted back and said no worries maybe Friday/This weekend and she said that sounded good.

So I'm assuming I should call her tomorrow night then? I don't really know how this normal dating stuff works. My last GF and I met while in college and so it was kind of a lot easier.

 

[woodchuck]

For Friday...I usually call Wednesday.

For Saturday/Sunday...I call Thursday.


and fuck. I keep running into ex around school. I thought we had amazing chemistry and got along fantastic. We don't even acknowledge each other even though we ended on decent terms last week (She said she couldn't handle a relationship due to school and the boards coming up).

I don't really feel like talking to her or hanging out with her as friends. But I like hanging out with her friends. Should I just make up and act friendly so I can hang out with her friends?

 

[BronzeWolf]

.

Seriously though, don't worry about it. Also, consider that the age of consent in most states is 16, possibly more, possibly less. Look that up if that's what you're worried about.

It's 18, here. I have no issue about talking to her. I was wondering more about the actual plan. maybe someone could have some idea?

 

[hellclerk]

It's 18, here. I have no issue about talking to her. I was wondering more about the actual plan. maybe someone could have some idea?

Ah, poor you. I'd go for the showing early bit. Instead of pathetic and spacey, you come across as punctual. Just chat her up, ask if she wants to go out for coffee sometime or something.

 

[bluemax]

For Friday...I usually call Wednesday.

For Saturday/Sunday...I call Thursday.


and fuck. I keep running into ex around school. I thought we had amazing chemistry and got along fantastic. We don't even acknowledge each other even though we ended on decent terms last week (She said she couldn't handle a relationship due to school and the boards coming up).

I don't really feel like talking to her or hanging out with her as friends. But I like hanging out with her friends. Should I just make up and act friendly so I can hang out with her friends?

Well shit, it's kind of late to be calling at this hour. I guess I can call her tomorrow.

 

[Xun]

I met a pretty interesting girl today; my class got delayed for half an hour, but I got there early to put my stuff in the room and after that I noticed her standing around outside. Unlike myself from a year ago, who would have nervously headed off somewhere else, I just went up and asked her if she was waiting for class. It turned out she was, and we got to talking and found out we know a lot of the same people and have a bunch of similar interests. So we got along pretty well. She definitely enjoyed talking to me at least, I think. I'm not sure I'd want to ask her out, necessarily. I mean, I just met her - it's just that she's on my radar at this point, I guess. And we sit pretty close in class, so it's not like I'll have trouble talking to her some more.

My only problem right now is that she seems to have a girl friend in class, so it would be kind of difficult to get to talk to her by herself after class. If I do decide after a bit to ask her if she wants to get something to eat or something like that, is there a good way to go about doing that so I don't have to ask her in front of a friend? Or am I just going to have to man up and do that?

Sorry if that sounds kind of lame, but I'm new at this whole dating thing.

Not really sure what to suggest, but I thought I'd bump your post up a bit.

 

[MetalGuardian]

I find all of this body language stuff very interesting. I would love to become well versed on the topic... do any of you guys have specific book recommendations that would detail all of the essentials?

 

[SRG01]

I find all of this body language stuff very interesting. I would love to become well versed on the topic... do any of you guys have specific book recommendations that would detail all of the essentials?

No, just hang out with more people and you'll pick up on these things.

The one thing I loved about growing up as a wallflower was learning how to read people. It's a great ability to have, dating or not.

 

[MetalGuardian]

No, just hang out with more people and you'll pick up on these things.

The one thing I loved about growing up as a wallflower was learning how to read people. It's a great ability to have, dating or not.

I'm incredibly social and around people all the time, yet I haven't really developed these skills. I think it comes from my mindset of "everybody is a unique individual, don't make assumptions."

I know there are books on the topic out there though, SURELY a couple of them have to be well respected and helpful to people wanting to learn more on the subject

 

[Eggo]

I find all of this body language stuff very interesting. I would love to become well versed on the topic... do any of you guys have specific book recommendations that would detail all of the essentials?

I posted a link to one 1-2 pages back, depending on if you do 50 or 100 posts per page.

 

[Mr.City]

Combine's still being Combine.

 

[electricshake]

Thought I might give a girl's view on the 'kissing on the first date' thing.

I'm of the opinion that you should at least make an attempt to kiss her unless she has made it obvious that she doesn't want you to. It makes it clear that you're interested in her and you don't just want to be friends.

I went out for drinks a few times with a guy who I'd been talking to a lot online. He was kind of a friend of a friend, and we'd played on xbox live together quite a bit. So when he asked me out for drinks, I had no idea if it was a date, or if it was just as mates. I had a bit of a freak out about it (as girls have a habit of doing). We had a great time, we chatted for ages and got along really well. Good times. I wasn't sure how much I liked him, and I had no idea what his intentions were. At the end of the night, he didn't even attempt to kiss me. So I figured we were just mates. And that was fine. We went out a couple more times, and again, we had a great time, but no kissing. So I just accepted that he wasn't interested me and I basically friendzoned him. I moved on, and then a few weeks later at a party he makes his move. I go along with it, but realise that it's too late and I'm no longer interested. He asks me out to dinner (ie a real date, and not just a few drinks in the pub) and, being drunk, I agree. A few days later, when he texts to organise, I have to tell him I'm not interested in dating him. I still want to be friends, but have to explain I have feelings for someone else (which was true). If he'd made his intentions clearer at the start, I might not have friendzoned him and we might have started seeing each other. We're not really friends anymore either. Which makes me sad.

So the moral of the story is make it obvious you don't just want to be friends.

 

[Calantus]

Make the move, what do you have to lose?

You know what, you're right lol

 

[SRG01]

Thought I might give a girl's view on the 'kissing on the first date' thing.

I'm of the opinion that you should at least make an attempt to kiss her unless she has made it obvious that she doesn't want you to. It makes it clear that you're interested in her and you don't just want to be friends.

I went out for drinks a few times with a guy who I'd been talking to a lot online. He was kind of a friend of a friend, and we'd played on xbox live together quite a bit. So when he asked me out for drinks, I had no idea if it was a date, or if it was just as mates. I had a bit of a freak out about it (as girls have a habit of doing). We had a great time, we chatted for ages and got along really well. Good times. I wasn't sure how much I liked him, and I had no idea what his intentions were. At the end of the night, he didn't even attempt to kiss me. So I figured we were just mates. And that was fine. We went out a couple more times, and again, we had a great time, but no kissing. So I just accepted that he wasn't interested me and I basically friendzoned him. I moved on, and then a few weeks later at a party he makes his move. I go along with it, but realise that it's too late and I'm no longer interested. He asks me out to dinner (ie a real date, and not just a few drinks in the pub) and, being drunk, I agree. A few days later, when he texts to organise, I have to tell him I'm not interested in dating him. I still want to be friends, but have to explain I have feelings for someone else (which was true). If he'd made his intentions clearer at the start, I might not have friendzoned him and we might have started seeing each other. We're not really friends anymore either. Which makes me sad.

So the moral of the story is make it obvious you don't just want to be friends.

Y'know what, I've heard quite a few different POVs from female friends of mine. Some say to kiss on second date, some say to not to, etc etc. All in all, it depends on the girl and how the date is going.

As a previous poster said, the guy can't be afraid to let the girl know that he's interested. How else is she supposed to know otherwise?

 

[msv]

So the moral of the story is make it obvious you don't just want to be friends.

So you didn't make a move either? Then it's not just his, but also your fault. You're making it sound like it only matters if he is interested, you would play along if he was, if he's not, forget about it.

Anyways, if you're invited to a dinner, or something like that, just the two of you, it's pretty obvious what the intentions are.

 

[electricshake]

So you didn't make a move either? Then it's not just his, but also your fault. You're making it sound like it only matters if he is interested, you would play along if he was, if he's not, forget about it.

Anyways, if you're invited to a dinner, or something like that, just the two of you, it's pretty obvious what the intentions are.

I know what you're getting at, but he was the one that suggested we go out, so I figured if he was interested he would've made a move. The fact that he didn't made it seem to me that he just wanted to be friends. I didn't try anything because I didn't want him thinking I'd got the wrong end of the stick - he wanted to hang out and here was me making a pass at him. And the first three times we went out it was always just for drinks - which is something I'd do with my mates. Had dinner been suggested, I would've known it was a date. But to me a few drinks down the pub isn't necessarily a date.

As a previous poster said, the guy can't be afraid to let the girl know that he's interested. How else is she supposed to know otherwise?

Basically it all comes down to this.

 

[Xun]

Combine's still being Combine.

Oh?

 

[msv]

I know what you're getting at, but he was the one that suggested we go out, so I figured if he was interested he would've made a move. The fact that he didn't made it seem to me that he just wanted to be friends. I didn't try anything because I didn't want him thinking I'd got the wrong end of the stick - he wanted to hang out and here was me making a pass at him. And the first three times we went out it was always just for drinks - which is something I'd do with my mates. Had dinner been suggested, I would've known it was a date. But to me a few drinks down the pub isn't necessarily a date.

Oh just drinks at the pub, guess I get the confusion there then. But it's weird that you would be ok with either 'going out' or being friends, you made it sound like you didn't have any preference. But either way, both of you didn't make a move, so I can't say it's fair that you put it all on the guy.

Basically it all comes down to this.

Yeah, just trying to say that that goes both ways imo.

 

[TurboLibre]

As a previous poster said, the guy can't be afraid to let the girl know that he's interested. How else is she supposed to know otherwise?

Basically it all comes down to this.

How about a woman showing a little initiative? If they like someone, why not make the first move or at least try to coax him into making one. Of course it depends on the situation and shouldn't be the norm, but if you like him, why not? You're asking how a woman will know if he's interested? Men wonder about that all the time, yet they're still expected to always take the relationship to the next step. That's not directed towards your story, just a general thought.

And if a guy is inviting you somewhere one on one, it's most likely a date. If they want to be friends they'll bring you along with a group (even then, it's a little iffy). You're right to move on when he couldn't really make a move after multiple dates, but it just seems strange to me that there would be any confusion. If a girl asked me to go dinner with them, I wouldn't think she's just trying to pal around.

 

[Mr.City]

Oh?

He's still terrified of women. Has a bad time and panic attacks when he thinks about them.

 

[Parts]

How about a woman showing a little initiative? If they like someone, why not make the first move or at least try to coax him into making one. Of course it depends on the situation and shouldn't be the norm, but if you like him, why not? You're asking how a woman will know if he's interested? Men wonder about that all the time, yet they're still expected to always take the relationship to the next step. That's not directed towards your story, just a general thought.

Because women generally find assertiveness an attractive quality. Why would make a move when they have an opportunity, just by letting the male do so first, of finding out whether they have confidence and are therefore more desirable?

It's not fair, but nobody said it would be. If you're a guy, take the lead.

 

[Luscious LeftFoot]

He's still terrified of women. Has a bad time and panic attacks when he thinks about them.

I'm willling to bet, he's done nothing about it.

 

[JumpJeff84]

I'd like to take issue with the notion that you shouldn't curse in an OK Cupid/POF profile.

Mine has the word 'shit' in it, the word 'hell' in it, and the word 'ass' in it.

Not the cursiest curses in the world, but still. I think you can get away with it if you do it right. I have a very high return rate on messages I send....

 

[electricshake]

Oh just drinks at the pub, guess I get the confusion there then. But it's weird that you would be ok with either 'going out' or being friends, you made it sound like you didn't have any preference. But either way, both of you didn't make a move, so I can't say it's fair that you put it all on the guy.

I wasn't sure how I felt about him which is why I wasn't that fussed either way. We were getting on well, so I was happy to be friends with him, but if he wanted more I was (initially) willing to see where it went.

How about a woman showing a little initiative? If they like someone, why not make the first move or at least try to coax him into making one. Of course it depends on the situation and shouldn't be the norm, but if you like him, why not? You're asking how a woman will know if he's interested? Men wonder about that all the time, yet they're still expected to always take the relationship to the next step. That's not directed towards your story, just a general thought.

And if a guy is inviting you somewhere one on one, it's most likely a date. If they want to be friends they'll bring you along with a group (even then, it's a little iffy). You're right to move on when he couldn't really make a move after multiple dates, but it just seems strange to me that there would be any confusion. If a girl asked me to go dinner with them, I wouldn't think she's just trying to pal around.

A lot of my good friends are guys, so hanging out one on one doesn't suggest to me that he wants to be more that friends. Maybe I'm just too trusting of my male friends but I have no reason to think that any of them want to be more than just mates.

And you're right, if a guy asked me to dinner I'd think the same. But the dinner invitation didn't happen till after we'd been out for drinks several times.

But anyway, my point was more that if you (whether you're male or female) ask someone out, you should make it clear what your intentions are.

 

[SRG01]

How about a woman showing a little initiative? If they like someone, why not make the first move or at least try to coax him into making one. Of course it depends on the situation and shouldn't be the norm, but if you like him, why not? You're asking how a woman will know if he's interested? Men wonder about that all the time, yet they're still expected to always take the relationship to the next step. That's not directed towards your story, just a general thought.

And if a guy is inviting you somewhere one on one, it's most likely a date. If they want to be friends they'll bring you along with a group (even then, it's a little iffy). You're right to move on when he couldn't really make a move after multiple dates, but it just seems strange to me that there would be any confusion. If a girl asked me to go dinner with them, I wouldn't think she's just trying to pal around.

Don't get me wrong; girls can show initiative too! However, remember that there must be mutual attraction in order for something to happen.

Women very rarely make a move unless they know with some confidence that their affections will be returned. Men, on the other hand, will make a move regardless of his chances. You can see this when a woman is giving obvious signals to a guy; she has already gauged his responses consciously or unconsciously, and is letting him know that it's okay to come forward.

There are, of course, cases where women will make the first move no matter what, but those are exceptions to the norm.

 

[Xun]

Just out of curiosity, but what kind of messages do you guys send on dating websites?

Obviously you refer to something in their profile, but what exactly?

Asking how they are/something about their profile?

 

[Slo]

Check out my okcupid profile, gaf. Great profile, or greatest profile?

Honestly I don't expect much from this though. I figured it couldn't hurt to sign up, but I'll keep focusing on trying to meet people in real life. Also, is it crass of me to say that okcupid

Spoiler

seems to be full of fat chicks

? Probably.

The fuck? I realize that you're going for "zany and over the top with a side of fake narcissism," but you went WAAAAAAY too far with it.

 

[aktham]

This is for the OP

Just want to say nothing wrong with dinner and a movie. It's bread and butter/fail-safe date. You pay for the food, she pays for the movie. Be smooth about it, when the check comes say you'll pay for everything. If the girl has any class, she'll insist to pay for her food at least. That's when you say "I'm willing to compromise, allow me to pay for dinner and you can pay for the movie".

If you don't have a car or have a POS car, meet her there. If you have a sweet ride, pick her up. Make sure the car is looking like you're trying to sell it (spotless inside and out) lol. Go early to go inside her place and check it out while she gets ready. Have you best clothes on and a fresh hair cut and smell good. If you pull all this off smoothly, then she's already in love with you before you go the dinner and movie (that's all filler anyway, that gives her the idea that you spent time with her). Don't be aggressive with the touching (she'll let you know if you're going too far) but at the same time, don't be a hover hand loser.

Key is present everything positive about yourself. Blitz/overkill her with all this and she'll think you're even too good for her and I guarantee you she'll leave a wet spot in your car before you get to the restaurant.

Let her find out anything negative about you on her own (eventually). By the time she finds out negative things about you, she comfortable enough with you to remain as your GF and will accept your pros and cons.

 

[msv]

I wasn't sure how I felt about him which is why I wasn't that fussed either way. We were getting on well, so I was happy to be friends with him, but if he wanted more I was (initially) willing to see where it went.

Could've been the same for him?

I agree that you should show it if you're interested. Doesn't have to be with a kiss, but through body language and actual language, you can let it be known pretty easily. I don't agree with the lingering dichotomy that guys should take initiative and the woman being the passive one though. The time for that has passed!

Not saying it's wise to not to by the way, if the girl doesn't take initiative, just go ahead and do it anyways. But for me, it's a turn off if a girl acts like a princess and just sits back and relaxes.

 

[Darkatomz]

The fuck dude?

Boston is CRAWLING with Asians. To the point that Im pretty sure that there are more asians than non-asians.

Right, Beantowner, so you DO have a chance. I'd suggest going to college bars if you're of around that age. Think Boston College and Boston University. Also, check out the local music scene. One suggestion is looking up a band called the New Collisions. You might find a scene in that. You're right, white chicks tend to prefer white guys, as do Asian chicks, but don't think about that, sell yourself on the strength of yourself. Who knows, you might find a nice Asian Studies major. :3

I get out, but honestly not enough. Working full time doesn't help, but like I said, I try to go out a few nights during the week and on weekends. To say that there are boatloads of asians here might be debatable, but I deem it false (at least with the places I currently frequent anyways). As for age, I turn 21 in 3 days and throwing a bash next weekend, so that should be pretty sweet.

To me this sounds like you're trying to make an excuse for why you're not having success. I don't think geographic region should have much influence on your game unless you're in an area where the gender you're looking for is underpopulated and the gender ratios are unbalanced. That doesn't sound like the case with you. So are you saying you have no problem picking up asian girls, but white girls don't give you the time of day? Or do you have difficulty picking up girls in general?

I had a feeling a response like this was going to come up. It is somewhat of an excuse, yes, but it's very big and valid concern. And yes, a large part of my life is underpopulated and unbalanced. I go to a technical school as an engineering major, so there you go.

I'm not great with girls in general, but it's MUCH easier to get asian girls interested in me than white girls. That's all.

I find all of this body language stuff very interesting. I would love to become well versed on the topic... do any of you guys have specific book recommendations that would detail all of the essentials?

I'd start with Paul Ekman's stuff. He's the guy who came up with micro-expressions. A spin off of that would be to check out the show Lie To Me on Fox. My favorite show out there, right with Chuck.

 

[Orgen]

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with my friend (girl) and a friend of hers (girl too). But it's going to be weird.

I met this friend of my friend in a party (October last year) for a brief 30 minutes but she got my attention. I added her on FB but nothing came from it (I barely use FB).

So, my friend (who is bi btw) is on a lesbian mood lately and I promised her that I'd go with her to some "lesbian/gay clubs" to help her because she's fairly new in this scene (no, I'm not gay). Tomorrow is the day and her friend is coming too (no lesbian and no boyfriend) asking our mutual friend that I come please so she has someone who she can talk and drink without getting hit, observed and touched (joke goes here).

My first intention (despite the place and environment) was to know her better, give her my phone number and arrange a date with her another day if all goes well. But seeing all this talk about making the move on the first date or making clear your intentions from the beginning... I don't know anymore, what would you recommend me to do?

P.S. Sorry if I didn't make my point clear, English is not my first language.

 

[Mike Works]

Fucking go for it so you can tell people you met your girlfriend at a lesbian bar god damnit

 

[Slo]

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with my friend (girl) and a friend of hers (girl too). But it's going to be weird.

I met this friend of my friend in a party (October last year) for a brief 30 minutes but she got my attention. I added her on FB but nothing came from it (I barely use FB).

So, my friend (who is bi btw) is on a lesbian mood lately and I promised her that I'd go with her to some "lesbian/gay clubs" to help her because she's fairly new in this scene (no, I'm not gay). Tomorrow is the day and her friend is coming too (no lesbian and no boyfriend) asking our mutual friend that I come please so she has someone who she can talk and drink without getting hit, observed and touched (joke goes here).

My first intention (despite the place and environment) was to know her better, give her my phone number and arrange a date with her another day if all goes well. But seeing all this talk about making the move on the first date or making clear your intentions from the beginning... I don't know anymore, what would you recommend me to do?

P.S. Sorry if I didn't make my point clear, English is not my first language.

 

[soultron]

Mike Works and Slo -- nailed it, bruh.

Just flirt and see where it goes that night, Orgen. Who knows... being the one of the few straight men there might work for you!

 

[whitehawk]

So I still haven't talked to my ex since the breakup, which was last tuesday. For example I don't acknowledge her if I see her in the halls. She just sent me a text right now saying "How long is this going to go on for? An estimate?". This is the second time my ex has contacted me about wanting to talk/not ignore each other in only 10 days.

I was planning on texting her after the weekend asking if we could talk. Now I'm not sure if I should stick to that plan or respond now.

 

[soultron]

So I still haven't talked to my ex since the breakup, which was last tuesday. For example I don't acknowledge her if I see her in the halls. She just sent me a text right now saying "How long is this going to go on for? An estimate?". This is the second time my ex has contacted me about wanting to talk/not ignore each other in only 10 days.

I was planning on texting her after the weekend asking if we could talk. Now I'm not sure if I should stick to that plan or respond now.

Still in high school, right?

Tough situation. I don't think you have to be a dick to her, really. Decide whether you want a clean break or try the civil-in-public route. Civil-in-public is going to hurt more, but at least it makes for less awkwardness in public than the cold break.

I'm nice to all of my exes in public if I see them on campus, but I don't go out of my way to say hello. If they text or FB me, I just don't respond. That works for me. It takes longer to get over them that way with the cold break, but I find sometimes the resentment or awkwardness that gets prolonged by the cold break can be shitty in those surprise public runi-ns.

 

[whitehawk]

Yeah it is tough. I feel like I'll just respond now. I was going to text her on sunday or monday anyway. Because I really don't want to ignore her. I may not become friends with her, but I at least want to be friendly with her.

 

[Eggo]

I had a feeling a response like this was going to come up. It is somewhat of an excuse, yes, but it's very big and valid concern. And yes, a large part of my life is underpopulated and unbalanced. I go to a technical school as an engineering major, so there you go.

I'm not great with girls in general, but it's MUCH easier to get asian girls interested in me than white girls. That's all.

A valid concern for who? Not the girl, because there are plenty of women who find Asian guys attractive. If it's a concern for you, then it's your fault for harboring limited beliefs and lacking confidence.

Ethnicity is like height. It's only a problem if you allow it to become one. I'm on the short side at 5'7", but I don't let it bother me. I've been out with girls taller than me, or a girl who becomes taller with heels on. There will be some girls who will reject you based on ethnicity or height (requirement), but they are far outnumbered by the girls who don't care either way.

You don't need to meet a girl at school if you are taking only engineering classes. If your social circle is large enough, you'll casually be introduced to plenty of women through friends. Otherwise, you need to expand your social circle and make more friends.

 

[EXGN]

Re: All the when to make a move talk -

I used to be afraid to 'make the first move' for a long time until I just reframed the whole issue for myself. Instead, I go in expecting to get rejected as much as I get 'accepted.'

I always try to push the relationship further when I have the opportunity. I get a lot of rejections (I don't know you well enough, I don't kiss guys in public, etc.), but from what I found, getting rejected is still a plus.

Girls take view initiative as a sign of confidence, so even if they give you the cheek the first time you go in to kiss, that just makes it easier for you the second or third time you try - however times it takes until she either accepts or tells you to fuck off.

 

[aktham]

Yeah it is tough. I feel like I'll just respond now. I was going to text her on sunday or monday anyway. Because I really don't want to ignore her. I may not become friends with her, but I at least want to be friendly with her.

Big mistake, unless you have a child with her, tell her to fuck off. She won't bother you again.