Going on a blind date, well sorta, I have her on facebook but...

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This, OP, is why you should at least give everyone a chance. Jesus, you totally fucked up the foundation/beginning of the relationship, though. It's not beyond salvage...I believe in Johnny Cage. In the shower.

Rentahamster said:
How rude. I always try to give everyone a chance. I wouldn't want them pulling that same shit on me.
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I have been on 9 blind dates in the last 2 weeks (online dating splurge) so I can't imagine being this stressed and over thinking everything like op. Even the 8 that were lame, never gonna see again, were a good excuse to be out of the house, socializing, meeting people, etc. I get a little nervous right before I walk in the door, but other than that if I go in with low expectations I always have a good time.
 
Mudita said:
I have been on 9 blind dates in the last 2 weeks (online dating splurge) so I can't imagine being this stressed and over thinking everything like op. Even the 8 that were lame, never gonna see again, were a good excuse to be out of the house, socializing, meeting people, etc. I get a little nervous right before I walk in the door, but other than that if I go in with low expectations I always have a good time.
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Yup. The most awkward parts are the first 3 minutes and then maybe the last 30 seconds. And you probably won't really remember either.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
I am kind of insulted you are comparing me to that thread, No offence to the OP of that thread, but how is my thread (story) anything close to his?

And why is my Dating so awkward? becasue I am documenting it in detail?
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Its because you're documenting it in.... nm..

Edit:

Honestly, and I'm being honest here. I think you are just overthinking things. Its something that alll guys fall into, so fuck people that make fun. Including myself. I'm sure most people have been through the overthinking thing, once you get on the otherside you realize a few things. Life happens. Thinking solves nothing, you're dating man. have fun, there is absolutely NO pressure, you know? You can't trick someone into liking you, or having chemistry. And when that happens, when that sweet, sweet, thing happens. You wont even be thinking at all!

Love and have fun man. Just approach shit with honesty, and you'll find someone good. NOW, if you're just looking to hookup, yes theres that game. But theres another time, and thread for that I'm sure. In fact, I think gaf needs one..

Edit: #2

Yes man, this entire fucking OP is awkward. Theres nothing wrong with it, you clearly know what you want. And you don't want to mess things up by doing the wrong thing. I've just learned over and over that you have no control over it... So you kind of have to go with that. Its releasing control to the universe. Whatever happens, is going to happen. You can twist it a bit, and nudge it a little, but its on the other person. I admire your energy, and your good intentions. But I've screwed myself over so many times trying to engineer things. I've found the best loves when not even looking. Total guard down situation.
 
OP: You're still over thinking things. Why don't you just call her (no rules on when, do it today!), apologize profusely for being late and tell her you had a great time and would like to see her again and make it up to her. Set plans for getting together later in the week. When the night arrives: DON'T BE LATE!
 
Op, the only thing that was, in my opinion, really stupid about your date was: a) being late, how can you fuck it up so bad ... One hour and a half? And b) making up a story about it. Good luck, I really hope you get a second date if that's what you want.
 
Sorry OP, me thinks you have very little chance with this girl.

She's surrounded by ambitious men, so you probably came off as the fun artsy guy that is cool to hang out with. You fucked up by showing up late, and by texting/updating GAF for 8 minutes while she's alone bored at the table, not drinking, waiting AGAIN for you.

She probably didn't drink more because she wasn't that attracted or excited by you either. It wasn't going to be a crazy night for her, and she didn't want to get tipsy/drunk (unless she really never drinks). Moreover, inviting you to Cirque de Soleil with her other girlfriends, instead of a one-on-one... yeah. Expect invitations to go shopping at the mall with her girls too.

Finally, the "let's hug". Sorry dude, that's a bullet train ride to the friend zone. When women want you, they don't leave it up for much interpretation (unless you are in high school).

Best move on.
 
Kung Fu Jedi said:
OP: You're still over thinking things. Why don't you just call her (no rules on when, do it today!), apologize profusely for being late and tell her you had a great time and would like to see her again and make it up to her. Set plans for getting together later in the week. When the night arrives: DON'T BE LATE!
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Boom! The force (Of good advice) is strong with this one!
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
I am kind of insulted you are comparing me to that thread, No offence to the OP of that thread, but how is my thread (story) anything close to his?

And why is my Dating so awkward? becasue I am documenting it in detail?
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The manner in which both you are handling it is what's awkward. You have a date with a girl that, by your own admission, is going really well but you take breaks to read this thread and update GAF? How is that not completely silly? You've got an intelligent, attractive and fun woman sitting there waiting for you, she's willing to entertain the thought of meeting you even though you're over an hour late and she still wants to meet up with you? She wants to see you again? This is a goddamned gift.

I was out of the dating game for about 3 years and got back into it last year. I've been on about 30-40 dates since then (out of which I have, finally, found someone worth dating long term). Yes, sometimes it's nerve-wracking and you may be self-conscious but the best thing to do is not worry about it. Be presentable, confident and true to yourself and realize that the rest is out of your hands. Commedieu summarized it perfectly. Stop worrying about things so much, stop over-analyzing. Go with the flow and enjoy yourself.

I am sorry if I was harsh but stop, seriously, just stop over-thinking it.

P.S. She didn't mention the concert plans being dropped without reason. Try asking her out for that weekend if you haven't already.
 
On behalf of forever alone-age I congratulate you OP! Though to be honest, your story sounds exactly the same as my friendzone adventures. Hope you're good looking to overcome that OP!


Sanky Panky said:
Sorry OP, me thinks you have very little chance with this girl.

She's surrounded by ambitious men, so you probably came off as the fun artsy guy that is cool to hang out with. You fucked up by showing up late, and by texting/updating GAF for 8 minutes while she's alone bored at the table, not drinking, waiting AGAIN for you.

She probably didn't drink more because she wasn't that attracted or excited by you either. It wasn't going to be a crazy night for her, and she didn't want to get tipsy/drunk (unless she really never drinks). Moreover, inviting you to Cirque de Soleil with her other girlfriends, instead of a one-on-one... yeah. Expect invitations to go shopping at the mall with her girls too.

Finally, the "let's hug". Sorry dude, that's a bullet train ride to the friend zone. When women want you, they don't leave it up for much interpretation (unless you are in high school).

Best move on.
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NVM YOU'RE FUCKED LOL
 
If you're lucky enough to get another date with this girl, leave your phone in your pocket. The entire time.

Or better yet, leave it in your car.
 
Hmmm... doesn't sound like the best date, I know I would have been disappointed in myself.

If you actually get a second date you better fucking step your game up.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
No sex yet, not sure when actually... but whatever, I am not about that right now, let me solidify the second date before I can even think about first base, let alone "sex"

So to recap from last night, we hung out around Yorkville, went, from eating at a place, to dessert at another place around the corner and finally at 2am we went for a cappuccino at another place... we did lotta walking just around (Yorkville Ave and Cumberland)

Couple things to observe.
Pros and Cons.

Cons
-100 points deduction....

I was late to this date about an hour and 20 minutes (OUCH!) BUT...But I did keep her updated while driving, from an hour before the original schedule time, until the 5 minutes before I showed up to the table "I just parked my car, be right there"

Even though she played it really cool, kinda brushed it off "It's ok no problem...don't worry" I could tell she wasn't happy at all, and honestly who would be?... I fucked up bad!

I had to totally come up with a stupid ass story about a friend's birthday party/ backyard bbq that was happening 100 miles outside TO, where I showed up there late, I was gonna leave early but more friends showed up and before I knew it I was running late, and then there was lotta traffic driving into TO (that part actually wasn't a lie).

Honestly I donno if she bought any of that or not... I didn't want to repeat myself either...

Cons II
-100 points deducted

She didn't happen to be much of a drinker at all, she nursed a half glass of wine all night!
While I had two pints of beer and vodka and tonic earlier in the night.
This didn't sit with her too well, even though she didn't outright say it, I could tell she wasn't amused... but honestly I cannot really be calm and relaxed, specially at a first date, if I don't have a few drinks in me. I seriously need it, specially after starting off the night on the wrong foot.

Another con, I went to the washroom 3 if not 4 times during the night it was a long night though, lasted over 5 hours, so yeah, I went to the washroom three times in five and a half hours, where she didn't go once!? This was kinda unusual, since she is the woman and I am the man, but I was drinking lotta water all night along with my beer and vodka and cappuccino..I am not gonna sit there with my dick in a knot.

I think what pissed her off is when I went to the washroom the first time and I made that post above.. I was kinda tipsy and lost track of time.. checking GAF, and my other text messages, I hate people who fuck off and play with their phone during social, face to face times, let alone being on a date with someone, I was precisely being that douche that I can't stand. So you could just imagine one's frustrations, made her wait hour and twenty minutes... finally show up and sit down and shoot the shit for about hour and a half...leave her again, go to washroom for another 7-8 minutes, but at the time the 7 minutes must've felt like infinity for her and even for me ( I was nervous).

Ok Now that we're done with the cons...haha let's see if I can crawl myself out of this deep pit.

Not being on a date for a long time, one thing I was so nervous about is not having things to talk about, the awkward silences, etc. This was never the case, there was always something to converse about, we kept talking, from one subject to next.. the conversation flowed smoothly, never got boring, I can partially thank the two pints of beer and the vodka above, also the fact that we came from the same childhood background (same country) even though we didn't know each other back then, we had lots of childhood things in common to reminisce and laugh at (about) etc.

She also happen to show some interest in my work, not many women have, she was cool, but our professions couldn't be any further apart, corporate banking vs arts and animation.

She seemed very excited and enthusiastic about lots of things, kept talking about "I want to go do this..." we should go do that" she wanted me to go see "Cirque Du Soleil" with her in September, I was like "Ookay, so you are already going to this thing? You already got your tickets?" She was like "yes, I am going with two of my (female) friends." I slapped her across the face with a reality check....."Well, what are the chances of me finding tickets (seats) next to you guys?" she was like.."uhmm...yeah probably not good?" ..."yep" ...Anyway that got a bit awkward, but that was about it.

And not to brag, I was making her laugh a lot, I've been with women who are just cold mannequins, I am no comedian but I think I am good at figuring out what makes people laugh, there sense of humour... she was really bubbly and easy to get laughs from, so that was cool...

Anyway night ended pretty well... I think, I pulled in her apartment building, she was like "Let's hug" this I found a bit awkward...It was almost like a pre cautionary "lets hug...before you try to pull something more stupid on me" haha! So hug, good night... I watched her walk through the glass doors of her building, she did turn around and check if I was still there as she went through the last doors before walking into the lobby and waved goodbye, as in "I'm inside the building now, good to go" I was kinda glad I stuck around for few seconds making sure she gets in to the building okay... made me look "caring" awww yeeah!

I have no idea where this is gonna go next, honestly it's a crap shoot. I fucked up bad, there was also some cool chemistry here and there, She did seem like the type with high standards though, corporate banker, punctual, professional, not that I am not any of those but..c'mon...Not exactly what I've been known for.

I may ask her out again to go out coming up Friday, if I do not hear anything from her by Wednesday or Tuesday? sounds right? or... any better advice?
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After stressing so much about it, you kinda were an asshole.

I mean, show up really late, lie to her as to why you're late, stay in the bathroom to check GAF, be a jerk about this potential circus tickets problem, on the first date? Really?
 
Coffee is your friend. If you hit it off, offer to take her for ice cream. Both short excursions that can end quickly if needed. And be polite and honest. You can give up 30 minutes of your time and if it's not clicking for any reason, say it in kind terms. Nothing wrong with, 'I don't think this is a good fit.' That's better than leading her on.
 
Raist said:
After stressing so much about it, you kinda were an asshole.

I mean, show up really late, lie to her as to why you're late, stay in the bathroom to check GAF, be a jerk about this potential circus tickets problem, on the first date? Really?
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This
 
Wow, what a thread... glad you decided to go on the date, at least. My last g/f was actually a blind date set up by mutual friends - (though it turns out I met her briefly before and she didn't remember me)... we hit it off pretty well and ended up dating for about 1.5 years before we broke up.
 
djtiesto said:
Wow, what a thread... glad you decided to go on the date, at least. My last g/f was actually a blind date set up by mutual friends - (though it turns out I met her briefly before and she didn't remember me)... we hit it off pretty well and ended up dating for about 1.5 years before we broke up.
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Hey thanks man, I appreciate the encouragement.

Well, I initiated the second date via email earlier today, now just waiting for the response. she suggested she's free next weekend, so I'm hoping that was the invitation for me to ask for another date. ...Things are looking North from here on end, if I may say so myself.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
Hey thanks man, I appreciate the encouragement.

Well, I initiated the second date via email earlier today, now just waiting for the response. she suggested she's free next weekend, so I'm hoping that was the invitation for me to ask for another date. ...Things are looking North from here on end, if I may say so myself.
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Maybe I'm just getting old, but what
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
Hey thanks man, I appreciate the encouragement.

Well, I initiated the second date via email earlier today, now just waiting for the response. she suggested she's free next weekend, so I'm hoping that was the invitation for me to ask for another date. ...Things are looking North from here on end, if I may say so myself.
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Lactose_Intolerant said:
Maybe I'm just getting old, but what
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I said what also. Why did you choose to do that over email? I can understand why you might not want to set it up over a phone call, I hate talking on the phone, but why not text her?
 
Lactose_Intolerant said:
Maybe I'm just getting old, but what
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Asked her to go out again? we went out once this past Saturday, I followed up with an email " I had a great time, and sorry for being late and all" she responded with more words or less "I had a great time too, and don't worry about being late.. and btw.. my plans to hang out with friends next weekend fell through ;) ;)" I responded back (again not word to word obviously)

"O rly? well let me take you out again this weekend, this time I'll show up on time and wont be as much of a dick, promise!"


so now I am waiting.

Pastry said:
I said what also. Why did you choose to do that over email? I can understand why you might not want to set it up over a phone call, I hate talking on the phone, but why not text her?
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Ok I see your point, but I am a little shy ok... I just did a follow up email, to make it seem like a "thank you I had a good time :)" with no pressure on her part to feel like she needs to have a conversation with me, this is of course after a shaky first date, I wasn't ready to call her after our "meh" first date, I just don't wanna be that guy (pushy) so I wrote an email...she responded back right away...with a very happy and positive response and then I responded back.

I could easily take this to "text" or vocal phone level from this point, not a big deal... just chill out, it was after all, right after the very first date.
 
I don't think OP fucked up by being an asshole. You guys are missing out on the fact that women are intrigued by assholes, generally. I stood a gal up on Valentines day, and turned it into a 2 year relationship.

I mean hes playing the opposite of a nice guy, I'd say its going to work for him if he doesn't overdo it.
 
commedieu said:
I don't think OP fucked up by being an asshole. You guys are missing out on the fact that women are intrigued by assholes, generally. I stood a gal up on Valentines day, and turned it into a 2 year relationship.

I mean hes playing the opposite of a nice guy, I'd say its going to work for him if he doesn't overdo it.
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Women like men who call themselves a dick?

My mind is blown.

Your girlfriend is an exception of the entire rule. Women do not like asshole's. Women like caring men who actually show interest in her and NEVER EVER comes late on a first date. I am surprised the OP has a second date coming up imo.
 
commedieu said:
I don't think OP fucked up by being an asshole. You guys are missing out on the fact that women are intrigued by assholes, generally. I stood a gal up on Valentines day, and turned it into a 2 year relationship.

I mean hes playing the opposite of a nice guy, I'd say its going to work for him if he doesn't overdo it.
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Haha! I love your encouragement for me commedieu, you've been the most supportive towards me in this thread, but the sad part is I am not "being an asshole" on purpose to "play the game" I am just a fuck up sometimes.. I am more of a "nice guy" when I get further in relationships... But on the surface I may come of as a prick.. I am just hoping I get over this first stage with this girl, becasue she is really nice an it'll be sad if I blew my chances before I even stepped up to the plate.
 
Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
"O rly? well let me take you out again this weekend, this time I'll show up on time and wont be as much of a dick, promise!"
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why did you doo this whyyyyyy.

I honestly think you are overthinking every little detail causing you to fuck up a bit. I can tell, I am a huge overthinker myself and would self sabotage everything I did since I was nervous or tried to correct something that wasn't really a problem.

The good thing is despite all the screw ups on the first date, she seems interested to at least try to give it another go. Don't be late, be yourself, and hope she never finds this thread.
 
Jasoneyu said:
why did you doo this whyyyyyy
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I responded back (again not word to word obviously)
"O rly? well let me take you out again this weekend, this time I'll show up on time and wont be as much of a dick, promise!"
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Jesus H Christ! talk about selective reading by you people!

Do you actually think I would talk to a woman I cared about starting a relationship with like that?

Actually I never mentioned anything about me being a "dick" or anything, but I did mention that I wont be late this time, since I don;t want her to think being late is in my nature and that was not a one time thing...

I wrote that sentence casually for the lulz in this thread, I am not gonna quote word to word what I wrote to her, I am just explaining in a sentence the "tone" of my emails to her.
 
GK86 said:
Gaf only reads thread titles and bolded lines.
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Haha! No kidding.. I try to speak the "GAF language" by using stupid internet terms like "O rly" and it all backfires on me....I would chop my right hand off before I allow myself type words like "o rly?" or " I wont be a dick" to a woman I cared about.
 
Rivyn said:
Why not just be yourself or is that against GAF regulations?
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To be honest, I will never be 100% myself on GAF or any other forum on the internet for that matter.

I'm old skool like that, you need to hold back something about yourself on the internet, to give yourself that false sense of security about being anonymous.
 
Rivyn said:
Women like men who call themselves a dick?

My mind is blown.

Your girlfriend is an exception of the entire rule. Women do not like asshole's. Women like caring men who actually show interest in her and NEVER EVER comes late on a first date. I am surprised the OP has a second date coming up imo.
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lol ok flanders.

Johnny Cage In The Shower said:
Haha! I love your encouragement for me commedieu, you've been the most supportive towards me in this thread, but the sad part is I am not "being an asshole" on purpose to "play the game" I am just a fuck up sometimes.. I am more of a "nice guy" when I get further in relationships... But on the surface I may come of as a prick.. I am just hoping I get over this first stage with this girl, becasue she is really nice an it'll be sad if I blew my chances before I even stepped up to the plate.
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No problem bud. I feel like I'm the same way. I have asshole tendencies, but I have a good sense of humor, charming, sweet, blah blah blah. It all comes out eventually. I just know that women are generally way more responsive to a guy that can take-em, or leave-em, than the super nice guy that falls into the friend-bin. I don't think it really hurt your chances, esp as she didn't bail due to your tardiness. Hope it works out for you though! Just gotta have a good mix of asshole & sweetness ;-)
 
You're such a god damn failure Johnny... jeezus, you asked her on a SECOND date via email?? After she sent you a message with all those little winking faces?

You're one luck SOB, I tell ya, if this girl is half of what you make her out to be at least (she's obviously desperate so you got that in your favor). You screwed up the first date and she's still throwing you a line. People would be right to berate you for not calling her on the phone almost immediately but not only do you not do that, you don't even text message her, you send her an email. Next time just write her a letter, or better yet puff out some smoke signals instead.

I swear Johnny, stop fucking this up. Get it together man! You're not just doing this for yourself, you're doing this for all of us!
 
See now you are making me nervous, because, She replied to my first email within 15 minutes last night, but I didn't bother to respond to hers until this morning around 10:30 ..so basically she responded back in 15 minutes and I responded back in 12 hours, and my second email was very playful and flirty, now I am getting paranoid that she doesn't like guys who keep her waiting, since she didn't keep me waiting, so she is keeping me waiting also. I'd love to hear from her soon solidifying the second date... kinda anxious, and yes from now on (after her reply) I wont reply back with Facebook (email) and use the Goddman Phone instead. that advice I will use.

There seems to be people here who are misinterpreting me for being a total dick and lucky. Lucky I may be, but I am not a dick, and I work for this shit, (well not hard enough obviously)

I'm no stud, don't let that Johnny Cage avatar fool you, not a guy at "my fighting weight" I can use a few more days in the gym. She is in fact gorgeous, she works for a successful global financial firm, she loves her job she is one of, if not the best looking dates I've had.(I've had quite a few in my heydays)(Evilore look alike myth can go out the window now) she isn't really "easy" some of you think she is, even though she is really giving me chances here.

While I was keeping her waiting alone at the bar for an hour, she told me three guys approached her and tried to pick her up, true story! So yeah I really played with fire there! Fuuuuuu!

Anyway, there's no doubt I am over thinking this and overdoing it, I am not denying that, but I have to mention the fact that again, I did not "ease in" to the dating scene, I just shot out of the ashes of my rut and into this. Best analogy I gave to my best friend yesterday, is ...A guy not having driven a car for decades being forced into a race tuned Ferrari and asked to do a 1:40 lap time around Silverstone. I'm a bit of a fish out of water here.
 
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