I broke up with my girlfriend...

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Dang, this story gets rougher and rougher as you read through it. Good luck, OP. I would think you're eligible to force her out well before April, especially if she hasn't paid rent for a few months.
 
artworks-000021945994-a8oaqm-crop.jpg


"And then that bitch was like 'wow, I'd love to ride you without a saddle.'NEEEEEEEEEEIGHHHHHH"
 
There's no way. I refuse to believe. Don't you know what these cons consist of OP? Otherwise sexually repressed people getting together and indulging in carnal fantasies.
 
leave this thread for 10 minutes, come back with revelation that op hasn't had sex with gf in over 3 years. Trust me, you haven't had sex. But she has.
 
Recapping for our new arrivals:

- OP and live-in girlfriend haven't had sex for over three years.
- OP asks girlfriend if they'll ever have sex again and she bites his head off.
- Girlfriend is caught sexting with furry horseman about creampies. On Thanksgiving.
- OP continues living with girlfriend.
- Girlfriend travels to Furcon and sleeps with King Kong Dong, Mr. Friskie, One-Eyed Willie Whiskers, and Hairy Penis Monster.
- OP allows girlfriend to continue living at his place, despite not paying rent.
 
I'm not familiar with US laws (you're in the US, right?). So she's not a co-mortgagee? What kind of contributions has she made towards the property?

Also, dude, as basic life advice I would strongly suggest you throw her out. She cheated on you AND hasn't wanted sexual contact in three years? My friend, you are being way too nice and allowing yourself to be stomped on. Get her out of there! Immediately! She sounds like a ridiculously horrible person.
 
Just getting a massive migraine from reading this smashing thread. Haven't had sex with your old lady for 3 years? She fucked bunch of guys in less than a week? Furcon? Texting about getting creampied on the way to your parents place for thanksgiving? You must be having us on.....
 
freenudemacusers said:
many also wear a lycra bodysuit under the fursuit to extend the number of sessions between cleanings.
Click to expand...

Gross, but makes sense. It cost me 15 bucks to get a coat dry cleaned the other day. I imagine these folks got sick of spending what must have been a fortune to get the crustified semen dry cleaned out of a 6 foot tall unicorn costume.
 
Saya Brea said:
No contracts. Her name isn't on anything. Cheating has no bearing, he can literally kick her out for no reason.
If they had a contract, or even a signed paper, he'd have to go through an eviction process. Those are terrible and costly. and wouldn't work considering she's supposed to leave at the end of the month and most eviction notices contain a grace period.

~S
Click to expand...

Nope. Wisconsin provides for oral lease agreements of less than one year.

http://docs.legis.wi.gov/statutes/statutes/704/03/1

OP, just go to the tenant center.
 
Wait, so she doesn't have sex with you for 3 years, yet she screwed 4 different dudes in a couple weeks? She was using you for something but I don't know what....
 
Tragicomedy said:
Recapping for our new arrivals:

- OP and live-in girlfriend haven't had sex for over three years.
- OP asks girlfriend if they'll ever have sex again and she bites his head off.
- Girlfriend is caught sexting with furry horseman about creampies. On Thanksgiving.
- OP continues living with girlfriend.
- Girlfriend travels to Furcon and sleeps with King Kong Dong, Mr. Friskie, One-Eyed Willie Whiskers, and Hairy Penis Monster.
- OP allows girlfriend to continue living at his place, despite not paying rent.
Click to expand...

My god OP

Kick her out. Today.
 
Tragicomedy said:
Recapping for our new arrivals:

- OP and live-in girlfriend haven't had sex for over three years.
- OP asks girlfriend if they'll ever have sex again and she bites his head off.
- Girlfriend is caught sexting with furry horseman about creampies. On Thanksgiving.
- OP continues living with girlfriend.
- Girlfriend travels to Furcon and sleeps with King Kong Dong, Mr. Friskie, One-Eyed Willie Whiskers, and Hairy Penis Monster.
- OP allows girlfriend to continue living at his place, despite not paying rent.
Click to expand...
He learned it afterward. Not before.
 
Tragicomedy said:
Recapping for our new arrivals:

- OP and live-in girlfriend haven't had sex for over three years.
- OP asks girlfriend if they'll ever have sex again and she bites his head off.
- Girlfriend is caught sexting with furry horseman about creampies. On Thanksgiving.
- OP continues living with girlfriend.
- Girlfriend travels to Furcon and sleeps with King Kong Dong, Mr. Friskie, One-Eyed Willie Whiskers, and Hairy Penis Monster.
- OP allows girlfriend to continue living at his place, despite not paying rent.
Click to expand...

Quoting because after each new discovery, we didnt think the revelation could be topped, yet each was. WHAT is next?
 
Tragicomedy said:
Recapping for our new arrivals:

- OP and live-in girlfriend haven't had sex for over three years.
- OP asks girlfriend if they'll ever have sex again and she bites his head off.
- Girlfriend is caught sexting with furry horseman about creampies. On Thanksgiving.
- OP continues living with girlfriend.
- Girlfriend travels to Furcon and sleeps with King Kong Dong, Mr. Friskie, One-Eyed Willie Whiskers, and Hairy Penis Monster.
- OP allows girlfriend to continue living at his place, despite not paying rent.
Click to expand...

Haha oh man
 
I haven't seen L's like this since Nasir Jones from 2002-2012. This is the kind of lawse that you might need therapy for, friend.

Naslost.gif
 
I take so long to reply to a post in this thread that by the time I've posted, about a dozen new revelations have been told. This thread will go down in history as one of NeoGAF's finest.
 
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