league of legends juggernauts is the most disappointing news i've heard since i found out i had prostate cancer. riot games, after smoking 20 pounds of crack out of the asshole of a dead hooker, saw 4 champs that weren't seeing any sort of popularity outside of a few niche players and thought that it would be a good idea to make all of them absolute shit. it's clear nobody who lives in the balancing department's dungeon prison has any clue as to what they're doing.
let's look at the obvious number one. garen. so riot decided to give garen an ultimate that deals true damage to a "villain" on the other team. alright, cool. then they decided to nerf his silence, his base stats, his w armor/tenacity and his e. huh? hey guys, when we said that we would make him better, it means that we have to increase power, not rip his fuckin balls off. you now have a 20% move speed slow when you move towards champions with e, what a fuckin joke. as if that's not insulting enough, they made his only ability that can somewhat close gaps do less damage and silence for less time, even if you max it out. now garen isnt a guy that gets into your backline easily, but in what fucking world does that equate to making the guy trip over his own feet when he's walking towards an enemy. i thought this guy was the might of demacia, why does he have this strange social phobia that prevents him from violently dismembering someone with a gigantic sword
number two: the scorpion king. skarner's already kind of a piece of shit early so naturally you want to make sure that his only real power before level 6 is so trash any support can walk to his buff and murder him. i was under the impression that in making this guy a juggernaut, you'd make him harder to kill early but instead they decide to get rid of 15 movement speed. not only does it make it easier for someone to chase him down, but it conversely makes it harder for him to catch up. so what now riot asks. hey why dont we make his passive stack on his e only? and make his q absolute shit. what kind of shit is that?
number three: nobody cares about darius.
number four: mordekaiser. whose brilliant idea was it to give this guy a passive that's completely useless in a solo lane? were they really that adamant about making this guy completely fucking useless by himself? on top of that they gave him a huge movespeed nerf, a huge base hp nerf and made him into a dependent. is there any reason why you want to shove this guy, who has the worst garbage laning versus ranged AD champs in the game, against people like
this or
this? oh whoopee you can hit level 2 slightly faster than the other three schmucks bot with you. what can you do level 2 that makes it all worth it? oh yeah, nothing. but hey now you get a pet dragon for 70 seconds. i guess that makes it all worthwhile right.