The two sides is about getting triggered by pettiness. Both are childish behaviors. Harry Potter is one of the biggest franchises of all time. Dragon age has been absent for a long time, and when it returned it never promised to be this edgy game that some people thought it would be. There is no metric by which we can evaluate how much of an impact the DEI stuff has, either. 1.5 million sales in a few months for a $70 is hardly a failure.
The core of the issue is that people will make excuses for how the DEI stuff somehow compromised the entire game, but if you actually play it, it can largely be ignored and optional. This is very much a mountain out of a mole hill situation. It's the same thing with the black Samurai in AC. "His skin color ruins my entire game!".
A lot of this is self awareness. Just imagine being a gamer who comes across some DEI stuff, then rush to some online forum or message boards to vent about how angry you are because you find it so triggering.
I do agree the game plays it very safe, it's structured like a Disney/Marvel type story where a lot of things should be wholesome and make you feel good. That may not appeal to many people, but it's certainly not a DEI thing. Some people just need to touch some grass and be a bit more objective. This thing is way overblown and I played through the entirety of Veilguard and did all the companion quests. I didn't feel lectured to, certainly it wasn't well written, but hard to believe it was so triggering to some. Angry childish mob effect, I suppose.