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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Kid Kamikaze10
Member
Went on a date with a pretty cool girl I met online last night.
Cool person, no chemistry. And that's starting to become a pattern. I'm running into a bunch of really nice girls. But then we go on a date and I can keep a conversation going for hours on end, but I'm having a hard time spicing things up.
Cool person, no chemistry. And that's starting to become a pattern. I'm running into a bunch of really nice girls. But then we go on a date and I can keep a conversation going for hours on end, but I'm having a hard time spicing things up.
Had the exact same thing happen with a date last night. I know the feeling, it really sucks. I have another date tomorrow and a 3rd on Sunday, so I'm praying to the old gods and the new that I'll click with at least one of them.
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
I've learned so much from this venture. It's quite surreal.
Well I mean, she made it seem like it wasn't just a one night stand, not necessarily something serious. I did talk to her a bit last night, asked her about weekend plans. She said she's gonna be out of town. Sounds like a lot of BS. She was going back home to Korea for a month or so on Monday. I just unfriended her, and deleted her from my contacts. Like be up front about, don't give me the run around. Whatever, I'm not feeling so salty right now.
This was weird. After over a week of going ghost on me, girl sends me a way-too-long text explaining (twice!) how she didn't feel a spark between us. Yeah, no shit. Fact that it took you a week after my last text to "end things" makes me think you're either too busy for any relationship or you're getting serious with another guy are are ending things with a few people.
*shrug* Either way, it was one date. I'd already deleted your number and texts from my phone. Moving on!
Coffee date tomorrow with someone who's a bit more up my alley. 87% match, bookworm, loves dogs.
*shrug* Either way, it was one date. I'd already deleted your number and texts from my phone. Moving on!
Coffee date tomorrow with someone who's a bit more up my alley. 87% match, bookworm, loves dogs.
I've been there before man and it's not because I have my expectations set high. Pretty much every Tinder date I've been on has been cool girl but no chemistry either from my end, their end, or both and I usually had to initiate things afterwards. The same has applied OKC dates as well. In every case. the girl ended the date. It feels like you're constantly walking into dead ends. That's one of the reasons why I took a break from dating. Hopefully you have more dates lined up and I hear you on dates being pricey.
Pray do tell us your findings.
@Lulubop, get back on that horse man. I think you're trying too hard to seek a relationship with girls when you should just let it play out. It seems that that's where your frustration seems to be stemming from. You have plenty of silver linings any way so why drive yourself insane over one girl? Maybe playing some Ultra Street Fighter IV will do you some good.
So I've begun messaging girls on OKC and it feels a bit awkward the whole messaging dance where I send message, girl lurks on my profile, rinse and repeat. It feels like my pictures aren't that good considering that I haven't taken any that I deem super good this year (by that I mean out with friends, etc.). I keep reminding myself to approach as having fun/relaxed, less as a chore since I'm not looking to take it seriously/seek out a long term relationship but friends is on the plate.
Too many profiles I've ran into have a variation of Netflix, differences between your/you're when in some cases, they ironically have typos on their profiles (hilarious), going out with friends, etc. I ignore the whole match percentage thing when looking at profiles since that doesn't matter to me. You gotta love online dating eh?
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
If I told you, this thread would backfire on me in a hurry. Let me give it a few days to think it over....
I did gander at the profile of the last girl I dated, as a freshman in high school. How pathetic is that? Ahaha. Might send a message, probably my best shot at getting a response.
Hahaha, South Koreans are usually open to dating Hispanics than other Asians based on what I've observed with friends. My brother once went out with a Korean girl for a couple of dates but left her when she wanted to be exclusive. To this day, he remembers her being one of the more memorable girls he messed around with.
I also almost went out with one last year from Tinder since she told me she came to my neighborhood constantly to hang out but in the end she kept making excuses/dancing around my suggestions to meet up so I moved on. And a good friend of mines' ex-girlfriend was Korean but it was toxic relationship in the end. Been itching to date an Asian girl on a whim but they're so hard to come by.
One did like me on OKC recently so I figure I should lurk on her profile and see her other pics. I'm in the mood for hitting up a bar tonight for some odd reason. Possibly because of the talk of meeting women at bars in the Dating-Age thread.
If I told you, this thread would backfire on me in a hurry. Let me give it a few days to think it over....
I did gander at the profile of the last girl I dated, as a freshman in high school. How pathetic is that? Ahaha. Might send a message, probably my best shot at getting a response.
Hahaha, at your own discretion man.
Hey fuck it, you have nothing to lose. I messaged this girl I went with on two dates last year two days ago after I saw that she was lurking on my profile. Maybe it'll lead to rekindling the spark as an adult.
It wasn't my first time hooking up with one, well one that was American. I thought we had hit it off super well too. Ah well. Speaking of Asian girls, around January I was liked and message by a Chinese girl on OKC. She had done a semester at Columbia but was back in China. She added me on Facebook and we talked a bit but not really since then. She told me just the other day she'll be back in NYC for school in a few weeks. I'm hoping we can hit it off.
Ah, it was just a trip. My bad.
That sucks, though, sorry bro. At least you got something outta it, though!
If I told you, this thread would backfire on me in a hurry. Let me give it a few days to think it over....
I did gander at the profile of the last girl I dated, as a freshman in high school. How pathetic is that? Ahaha. Might send a message, probably my best shot at getting a response.
But broooo, I wanna hear it.
And we're just people on the interwebs anyway!(Just ignore me, I'm bored a lot and like hearing stories)
Ah, it was just a trip. My bad.
That sucks, though, sorry bro. At least you got something outta it, though!
But broooo, I wanna hear it.
(Just ignore me, I'm bored a lot and like hearing stories)
Oh no, she goes to school at Colombia too but she told me she spend her summers back in Korea. She was going to come back before the semester. I wanted to she her before she was gone for so long, but all I got was the run around. Yea I did get something, but like couldn't it be like a consistent thing? I don't really see the harm. Unless my D game was D:
But broooo, I wanna hear it.
(Just ignore me, I'm bored a lot and like hearing stories)
Well if it's a story you want, let me tell you about the past month...so not dating related, but whatever.
Last month my sister got out of jail after six months. That same week her ex-husband, who had full custody of their kids, was hit and killed by a truck. No car accident, just full on man vs truck on the interstate. He was an asshole, so we're not mourning him as much as we're supporting our nieces. At the funeral, his twin sister shows up, ready to take the nieces to California, as that was the deceased's wishes...mother's parental rights be damned. My cousin showed up and convinced them that would be bad, so he acquired temporary custody of them, since he had it before. So now there's a legal battle to determine where the kids go...to their mother, who is jobless, deeply in debt, can't drive, and just got out of jail...or to their aunt, who is happily married to a wealthy man with whom she has two normal children.
Something tells me I shouldn't tell that story on dates. "My family does drama better than TNT" just ain't attractive.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Just got back from the second date with the girl I posted about earlier, the one that I was worried about. Went just as well as the first -- we're giving each other shit constantly, had a great dinner at a José Andrés restaurant and shared food, then shifted to a comedy show that I booked. It was hilarious (and anyone in DC or Chicago needs to see The Second City at some point) and probably won me some points.
Then we went to a nearby bar I picked out ... and played Sorry! and Connect Four. We're both extremely competitive, but she just wiped the floor with me at Connect Four (something like 10 games to 4), and now I need to own her in Scrabble.
Walked her to the metro at 1am ... she stayed out that late even though she's got to be up at 6am to catch a train at 7 tomorrow morning for her friend's bachelorette party. More making out at every "don't walk" sign. She's busy next week, working 3 overnight shifts in the ER, but I'm booked too due to court, but we agreed to text to figure things out.
Can I be cautiously optimistic now?
And now, the foibles of online dating:
Then we went to a nearby bar I picked out ... and played Sorry! and Connect Four. We're both extremely competitive, but she just wiped the floor with me at Connect Four (something like 10 games to 4), and now I need to own her in Scrabble.
Walked her to the metro at 1am ... she stayed out that late even though she's got to be up at 6am to catch a train at 7 tomorrow morning for her friend's bachelorette party. More making out at every "don't walk" sign. She's busy next week, working 3 overnight shifts in the ER, but I'm booked too due to court, but we agreed to text to figure things out.
Can I be cautiously optimistic now?
And now, the foibles of online dating:
I have a coffee date tomorrow with someone else, which I didn't cancel, based on the advice of GAF and some other friends. We'll see how that goes too!
Anyone ever go to one of these OKC events? Usually they seem lame but I'm considering this 90's music night one just as a change of pace.
Regardless, going out tomorrow night. It's been a while since I lined up a bunch of dates with different girls at once. It's exhausting.
Same issue here. Part of the problem for me is that I'm open to making friends as well. So a first date I always go with the goal of a good conversation and whatever happens beyond it is a bonus. However I did have a great first date recently with great chemistry but I apparently wasn't looking for the same thing (even though I never mentioned what I was looking for).
Regardless, going out tomorrow night. It's been a while since I lined up a bunch of dates with different girls at once. It's exhausting.
Hoo boy, sounds rough. Honestly, my family's a bit.......
...like that too. My step family is just full of white trash, and my blood family varies from the worst of white trash (some cousins married each other) to "fuck this family I'm outta here" people I haven't seen in years. (I'm part of the "fuck this family" group, for the most part). I also have some interesting family related stories.
Not saying that your family's white trash, just saying that I can totally imagine a scenario like that happening in mine.
I have the proceedings go well and the children get to live with your aunt, though
I went to one last year with GK86 almost to this day in another week or two. It was in a rooftop bar of some lounge in the Lower East Side right next to I want to say the Williamsburg Bridge. It was pretty nice.
There were a good amount of women and men intermingling with groups but it was mostly friends that went with other friends for fun/as a back up plan. Saw groups of huge muscular men that would fit right in with the Magic Mike guys as well as your typical girl-next-door looking girls.
It was initially awkward to break the ice as we had to split up to divide and conquer, but once we did, it was fine. We didn't get any numbers out of it, but it was fun in the end. Would totally do it again with some more Online Dating/NYC GAF bros in tow.
And yeah man, I hear on trying to make new friends but usually girls have none of it since I' never mention my intentions which is a bummer.
Good luck on that dating gauntlet! I hope your wallet doesn't take too much of a beating since I'm remembering that ticket that you got slapped with for one of your dates.
Was just on an amazing first Tinder date. She actually deleted Tinder while we were on it, then added me to Facebook, already had her number. Not sure how to take that really. She mentioned she has a lot of guy friends and not many girls because she thinks guys are much cooler to hang with. I mean a cynical person could interpret the deleting as she's not interested in anything romantic and sees me as a potential friend. She did hug me really hard and long at the end of it though, and there was definitely some flirting, plus the date lasted for over four hours.
She's super cute and ambitious+driven, which is a combination I haven't found in other dates lately. I'm finding it difficult to keep up the "don't put all eggs in the same basket" after seeing this girl.
She's super cute and ambitious+driven, which is a combination I haven't found in other dates lately. I'm finding it difficult to keep up the "don't put all eggs in the same basket" after seeing this girl.
CheDominik
Member
Well the threesome was real, but I backed out. I guess I'm not an orgy guy.
WTF is wrong with me?
WTF is wrong with me?
Well, that date was just forgettable. 90 minutes, and I don't remember anything from it I didn't know prior. We spent about 30 min on what it was like being (her major) at (her school). Nary a flirtacious detail in sight!
The greeting was awkard beyond words too. Put my hand out for a handshake, nothing. You know it isn't a good date when there's zero contact.
Need to adjust strategy to help bridge closeness. Fewer questions about past, more about her thoughts...and pick tables that are smaller as to make touching more natural.
The greeting was awkard beyond words too. Put my hand out for a handshake, nothing. You know it isn't a good date when there's zero contact.
Need to adjust strategy to help bridge closeness. Fewer questions about past, more about her thoughts...and pick tables that are smaller as to make touching more natural.
Why didn't you go for a hug? Was the vibe that you got from her that bad when you met up with her?
Even on bad dates where I didn't follow up with the girl afterwards, I've always gone for a hug and ended with one (with trying to occasionally be bold and make out but I haven't done that in several months). Who decided to end the date? You or the girl? Sorry for so asking so many questions. Otherwise, no real sweat off your back. It sounds like a date I had with a Brazilian girl way back in December where it was about the 90 minutes and forgettable.
When I first met her, she kept out of hug range. If a girl's close enough to hug, I go for the hug, but she kept a few paces between us.
She formally ended the date. Went to the bathroom, came back and said she had errands to run for a trip coming up (she was going hiking for 8 days starting friday). While she was in the bathroom, I realized there was nothing between us, so on the way out I didn't even bother going for an exit hug.
If I feel like the date went well, I have no problem being bold and going for a kiss. This case, there was just nothing. I've experienced what it's like when a girl is really into you, and it wasn't present.
User 479360
Banned
Everything has dried up for me. It sucks.
Yoda
Member
Went on two dates this past week. One went badly (her pics were fake, but I'm so I just slowly let her off). 2nd one went well, she texted that she wanted to see me again, then earlier today she said lets just be friends (hadn't texted her save once w/dorky joke). Talk about a bummer as I felt we were a really solid fit.
I'm starting to have an issue of not even getting "had read" on my messages. Normally I'd say its just a girl w/too many but its happening a bit frequently enough for me to think something is wrong.
I'm starting to have an issue of not even getting "had read" on my messages. Normally I'd say its just a girl w/too many but its happening a bit frequently enough for me to think something is wrong.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Went on the coffee date, which of course left me confused. We talked for 3 solid hours and, of course, we've got a lot in common. After I walked her to the metro (kiss on the cheek, even though I went in), she already texted me to ask me on another date. (I took care of the check and gave her a slant-eyed "I asked you out, so it's right for me to pay. You can always ask me out, you know" line. I am sometimes smooth.) I agreed to the second date. Still haven't had date #3 with the other girl.
Both of these girls are smart, successful, unbelievably dorky, and kind; they're both incredibly attractive in different ways. The girl from last night's more fun, a lot funnier, and slightly more wild, whereas the one from today seems sweeter but more reserved.
I have to ride this out and see where it goes, right?
It's totally a Betty and Veronica situation, isn't it?
Were they hot?
Hahhaha oh man I forgot about that night. Thankfully I learned my lesson and don't have to deal with garages anymore.
I think I may pass on the OKC thing. I don't have any friends who would accompany/save me.
CheDominik
Member
Unfortunately, yes! I just wasn't feeling it, in recent years I've learned to listen to my gut feelings more instead of overthinking stuff and it just seemed like a bad idea to me for whatever reason.
So, I need advice, this girl I'm 'seeing' - we've known each other for a while and, as you all know, we have now took it to the next level. Thing is, I have something huge I need to tell her about me, but I'm worried it may/will be a deal-breaker. It's nothing bad, per se, but it's something I should've told her at the beginning. How does one go about telling her something like this?
I have a five-year old daughter.
EdibleKnife
Member
Does she live with you? If she's in your life in some big capacity then tell her because it'll be worse as a surprise. From your mouth, you can soften the blow. If it's a deal breaker for her then it's gonna be a deal breaker no matter the circumstances. Just break down what the situation is, clear as possible so there's no potential for loose ends or surprises. And best thing also would be to not to treat her like the bad guy if she either is hesitant or backs out totally
Does my daughter live with me? No. Truth be told, I haven't seen my daughter in over a year. Her mother moved away without telling me and has changed all means of contact. It's no excuse but this is why I didn't mention it to my partner as talking about it kills me.
See above.
EdibleKnife
Member
Jesus. I'm sorry dude. Despite how difficult it will be, I say tell her exactly what happened.
Just explain the situation to her. Even if you haven't had contact with your daughter (I'm sorry bro ;-, it's important for anyone romantically in your life to know stuff like that. If it's a deal-breaker, then so be it, she wasn't the one for you anyway. Some people just can't handle children at their point in their lives, even if the child isn't directly there.
And yes, make sure to tell people this ASAP from now on, if you need to. It's important.
EDIT: I understand it's emotional for you, but again, it's important information. And your partner will likely understand that it is an emotional thing for you and likely won't make you delve into it anymore than you had to do here.
, it's important for anyone romantically in your life to know stuff like that. If it's a deal-breaker, then so be it, she wasn't the one for you anyway. Some people just can't handle children at their point in their lives, even if the child isn't directly there.And yes, make sure to tell people this ASAP from now on, if you need to. It's important.
EDIT: I understand it's emotional for you, but again, it's important information. And your partner will likely understand that it is an emotional thing for you and likely won't make you delve into it anymore than you had to do here.
Wow at your ex stealing your daughter away, that's terrible. Others have already expressed how to handle it with your new lady but I hope you find a way to get in contact with your daughter soon.
Here I was going to talk about how my date last night was dece but I think I prefer friends, we'll see gonna go out again with her sometime next week. But, I was booty called almost immediately after which was an experience in itself.
Here I was going to talk about how my date last night was dece but I think I prefer friends, we'll see gonna go out again with her sometime next week. But, I was booty called almost immediately after which was an experience in itself.
They had been out drinking, she was super super loud, then about 10 minutes after she's checking her phone and says 'Oh..I think my roommate was home the entire time.' hahaha I was getting dressed and just got out of there before any encounter. I felt really bad but hey!
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
Found a girl I would love to message! But her inbox is full.....
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
You don't have generic teen movie dudebro sexuality. It's okay, liquor might help.
God damn it, I just had to cancel a second date 2,5 hours before it happening with an amazing girl coming to my place because I got nauseous during the day, likely down with a fever. I just know that if that happened to me, I would think the girl was faking and wasn't interested. Tried calling her but no answer yet, so I sent a long text apologizing and with a rescheduling offer, with a concrete date three days from now. Here's to hoping she doesn't drop me because of this, would really suck. Not sure what more I can do at this point though.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
My date went well last night. She is very cute, has a good sense of humor, and we have similar interests. No kiss at the end, but I got a hug. She seems interested in seeing me again.
Gray Matter
Member
Lol. Was swiping on tinder and run into this account with pictures of a former high school classmate of mine, with a different name. Pretty damn sure it isn't her.
Be careful of the pictures you post online fellow gaffers, someone might have a fake tinder account with your pictures.
Be careful of the pictures you post online fellow gaffers, someone might have a fake tinder account with your pictures.
Say what? That must have been awkward as sin. You probably got the hell out of dodge as soon you saw her. Never thought it would have happen although IIRC, it's happened to a couple of GAF members in the past.
Hopefully you reported her profile afterwards; I'm a mod on OKC but it's not as glamorous/powerful as one thinks it is since a lot of it is very mundane stuff. Well at least you learned some lessons. You did nothing wrong on your end so keep at it. If you feel like the latter girl would make a good gal pal and introduce you to her female friends, then I would say not to burn your bridge with her.
As a quick tip for the future, if your bullshit meter goes off when you suspect someone's pictures might be fake, reverse Google image search it to see if you get an hits (drag and drop it in the search bar) before you message away. It's always better to be safe than be sorry.
I see, that's a lesson well learned. I have very good long term memory. I know the littlest details about people for whatever reason may be such as the name of the girl my older brother lost his virginity to (he forgot).
As for attending OKC events, don't you have any single San Francisco GAF bros that you can go with? I seem to recall you being close to a few peeps.
I disagree, it could be for a multitude of reasons not necessarily pertaining to someone stealing her pictures to catfish/troll people with. For instance, some people might choose to make an alternate Facebook account/use a pseudonym on Tinder to protect their professional life so they won't run into anyone they work with (teachers in particular would want to be wary of it).
Why do I know this? Because a hook up that I bailed out on back in December was a teacher at a prison. She used a pseudonym on Tinder so that she wouldn't run into any of the inmates she taught or any colleagues.
I thought you said you were retiring from online dating for for good. I guess you couldn't resist its allure. Why the change of heart?
SlickShoesRUCrazy
Member
I struck up a conversation with a couple of women but after a few days I lost interest because I felt the conversation was one sided. Like i was asking questions and trying to chit chat, and they would respond, but they wouldn't as me anything in return.
Figured they weren't interested.
Figured they weren't interested.
Gray Matter
Member
Nah, I'm convinced it isn't her, she's been in a relationship in a while now, of course this doesn't mean anything, but from afar they seem happy.
Also, I don't know why I'm on tinder again honestly. I can say this, I'm not trying to make something happen out of this... It's just there.
I haven't posted in this thread for a long time, but thought I might share something interesting with everyone here: the Match group (OkC, Match, Tinder) just bought POF!
http://business.financialpost.com/f...-acquired-by-new-yorks-match-group-for-us575m
http://business.financialpost.com/f...-acquired-by-new-yorks-match-group-for-us575m