Fallout-NL
Member
Yeah, considering the alternatives, I'd be rooting for Clinton as well. Plus, as a bonus, we would get Bill again. How cool is that.
(I'm Dutch btw, so I can't vote in your elections
)
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Yeah, considering the alternatives, I'd be rooting for Clinton as well. Plus, as a bonus, we would get Bill again. How cool is that.
(I'm Dutch btw, so I can't vote in your elections
)Well my New Year's Eve plans just took a turn. Was originally going to set something up with two of my best mates, but we were running out of time so they took up separate offers they got from other friends, and since they got invited so late to their places, I couldn't come. Bummer, but I get it.
Decided to ask this girl living about three hours from me, who I've been talking to for probably three months now, what plans she had. Turns out she's at her parent's for Christmas which is only about an hour from me, and has no plans at all. We have now set up plans for cooking New Year's dinner at my place and then watch the fireworks afterwards. I imagine she's sleeping at my place since I doubt any buses go to her city at that hour, so we'll have to see what happens later. Don't have any feelings for her at all (as it should be with a girl you've only talked to online) but she seems super cool. Excited!
Decided to ask this girl living about three hours from me, who I've been talking to for probably three months now, what plans she had. Turns out she's at her parent's for Christmas which is only about an hour from me, and has no plans at all. We have now set up plans for cooking New Year's dinner at my place and then watch the fireworks afterwards. I imagine she's sleeping at my place since I doubt any buses go to her city at that hour, so we'll have to see what happens later. Don't have any feelings for her at all (as it should be with a girl you've only talked to online) but she seems super cool. Excited!
davidwhangchoi
Member
Trust! =)
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
First date planned after my breakup - or rather, she's open all week and looking forward to it, but she was just about to hop on a plane back to the city. Weird feelings, honestly: I'm sure everyone here's gone through them at some point.
Since the last relationship I had was effectively a year packed into two months and we shared so much of our lives and emotions together, it's strange starting fresh with someone I don't know at all and with whom I'll have to open up all over again.
Since the last relationship I had was effectively a year packed into two months and we shared so much of our lives and emotions together, it's strange starting fresh with someone I don't know at all and with whom I'll have to open up all over again.
User 479360
Banned
I've got a date set for Saturday with a really nice girl I've been talking to. I'm not sure of what we will be doing, though it may be mini-golf or coffee. I don't want to spend much this time, but don't particularly like awkward coffee dates.
Apparently a friend knows someone who's also looking, too, so we may be set-up.
I'm a bigger, hairy guy, though, so I worry about how well things will go.
Apparently a friend knows someone who's also looking, too, so we may be set-up.
I'm a bigger, hairy guy, though, so I worry about how well things will go.
Sirpopopop
Member
Got a date set up for tomorrow with a girl whose canceled twice already for flimsy reasons.
Looking forward to seeing what she says when she cancels tomorrow.
It's no big deal, I'm talking to a few other girls anyway.
Looking forward to seeing what she says when she cancels tomorrow.
It's no big deal, I'm talking to a few other girls anyway.
Sirpopopop
Member
Psychoward
Banned
Wow, Tinder completely blows now. Limiting likes, super likes, no chance to see when they were last active even if it just did it generally (by days) so I would know if I was wasting my time or what
ugh
ugh
You are sending a message. Hardly time consuming.
Psychoward
Banned
I mean I still send a message obviously it was just nice to know after that if they hadn't seen it or if they were online after and were just ignoring me. Idk maybe I'm just spoiled since I'm coming from 1st semester of a college with a 60/40 girl guy ratio and now I'm the one with the disadvantage.
Also do you guys ever do super like or charm on happn or any of that stuff? I talked to two girl friends about super liking, one person said almost every person that's super liked her has seemed creepy while the other one was flattered when guys do it. I mean it's cool to be noticed and all but I feel like it would just make me look desperate.
It is nice to know, but how are you wasting your time exactly? The outcome is the same in those scenarios: you haven't received a message back. In which case you keep going. Not like you have limited space/storage in the number of matches you can have.
Regardless, Tinder doesn't show you if the person has seen your message. Just because someone is online, doesn't mean they opened it.
I do the super like. I don't see how it would make you look desperate. I have been super liked by a few women lately and it feels good.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
After 5+ years of being on and off OkCupid I don't think I've ever been as discouraged as I am now. At some point is it better for some people to just stop trying so hard and wait to see if it happens? Even if people say waiting for the right time could mean missing many years of opportunity, what if your situation impedes your appeal to a large degree? I want a girlfriend, but I just don't think I'm in a good position to have one.
yiepekaiyei
Banned
OKC is a date site. You probably won't find just a friend in there. I'm pretty sure if you try more specialized sites you'll have more success.
Then take some time and focus on bettering yourself so that you reach a point where you feel comfortable and confident that you can have a relationship.
Yooo, is Bumble the best?
Hotties who message you first? Only problem is the algorithm seems off, though I know it just launch on Droid. Not saying I'm Brad Pitt, but I feel like my profile is probably why down in swipe piles. The matches I have gotten, have almost all be super gorgeous girls. I believe in this.
Hotties who message you first? Only problem is the algorithm seems off, though I know it just launch on Droid. Not saying I'm Brad Pitt, but I feel like my profile is probably why down in swipe piles. The matches I have gotten, have almost all be super gorgeous girls. I believe in this.
BlitzEngineer
Member
Well, matched with an absolute stunner today and chatted for a few hours while I was at work. Super chatty, asked questions, replied quickly, had interesting things to say, I made her laugh a lot (well, presumably). When I got home I asked if she wanted to grab brunch sometime and she said she wanted to cook for me instead.
I mean, when a gorgeous girl offers to cook brunch for you, you can't refuse. I can feel a little apprehension in myself, some "She's way out of my league" feelings, not to mention showing up to a home cooked meal for a first date is maybe potentially awkward if it doesn't work but I'm just gonna suppress that shit and take a shot here. Got her number and I think we'll be meeting up this coming Sunday.
If I don't post back by then assume this girl stole my kidneys.
I mean, when a gorgeous girl offers to cook brunch for you, you can't refuse. I can feel a little apprehension in myself, some "She's way out of my league" feelings, not to mention showing up to a home cooked meal for a first date is maybe potentially awkward if it doesn't work but I'm just gonna suppress that shit and take a shot here. Got her number and I think we'll be meeting up this coming Sunday.
If I don't post back by then assume this girl stole my kidneys.
Psychoward
Banned
I've had it downloaded for 2 days, got one match and overall everyone on it seems super attractive. No convos yet though.
Horrible idea lol. People are generally not to be trusted.
Thanks.
davidwhangchoi
Member
Guard your heart... wise. Over guard... so sad =( (in a sincere way)
Yeah, considering the alternatives, I'd be rooting for Clinton as well. Plus, as a bonus, we would get Bill again. How cool is that.
(I'm Dutch btw, so I can't vote in your elections
Thank goodness lol
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm Team Bernie, but let's keep in mind that everyone -- no matter who they are -- deserves someone. Sadly, we're trying to find it on Tinder and OKCupid in this thread, so let's wish for the best.
I just wish I could find someone the regular way; in person meeting a friend of a friend or by happenstance.
Rom coms aren't terribly common in the real world, sorry ;p
Snarkiness aside though, people are generally really closed off in their circles nowadays--social media made it so everyone can be in their little bubbles 24/7, and have no need to venture out of it and meet new people. It's rough.
You're in school though, right? This is the best time to meet new people (and possibly romantic interests), so go out and do it!
Rom coms aren't terribly common in the real world, sorry ;p
Snarkiness aside though, people are generally really closed off in their circles nowadays--social media made it so everyone can be in their little bubbles 24/7, and have no need to venture out of it and meet new people. It's rough.
You're in school though, right? This is the best time to meet new people (and possibly romantic interests), so go out and do it!
No doubt. I am, but this upcoming semester I'll be doing online classes until I get my associates and transfer to the university (which is closer to me) and go to physical classes once I choose my major (25 and I still dunno wtf I wanna major in lolololkillmenow)
Sirpopopop
Member
I went on one bumble date.
It was nice, I suppose. No spark.
And yes, most of the girls on there are really attractive.
It was nice, I suppose. No spark.
And yes, most of the girls on there are really attractive.
Sirpopopop
Member
"Weather."
Sirpopopop
Member
Yeah. She was hot too. A pity.
A pity.
jimmypython
Member
Hi friends!
Back to online after a messy encounter last time lol
one question: Did the OkCupid app update hide the "shown in XXX searches in the past 24h" stats???
because
Back to online after a messy encounter last time lol
one question: Did the OkCupid app update hide the "shown in XXX searches in the past 24h" stats???
because
no one writes back....
Hi friends!
Back to online after a messy encounter last time lol
one question: Did the OkCupid app update hide the "shown in XXX searches in the past 24h" stats???
becauseno one writes back....
I sure don't see it anymore. Guess it went the way of the "replies selectively" colors and the "The first thing people notice about me" questions. They didn't help anyone with anything, and just gave people information to stress over.
If you want to increase your visibility, log on at least once a day, answer a few questions (adding explanations when hilarious), and have a kickass profile picture.
If you want to increase your replies, ask a question of some kind (anything to start a conversation), and have a set of kickass profile pictures.
It's a very good thing. People are not to be trusted.
----
In other news, randomly opened a Bumble...no matches lol. Waaah waaaah.
I learned this the hard way. No matter how much you think someone loves you or how much you love them, you'll get burned in the end. Fucking two faced cunt my ex was.
If you don't even trust anyone, why even bother with these online sites? That mistrust probably seeps into all your interactions. Then, when things don't go anywhere, you can be all 'see? I was right all along! I will die alone and miserable!' It just sounds like a self-sabotaging self-fulfilling prophecy. Attitude and mindset is everything.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Just got back from the first date I've had since my breakup. She's exactly the kind of girl I should be dating - worldly, super intelligent, independent, sarcastic, and pretty. By the end of the night, we were giving each other shit back and forth. Drinks at a wine bar lasted for 3 hours. Then we had gelato. Then, we had another drink and some light Mediterranean fare, and afterwards, I walked her home.
I used my standard date closer: "I like you, and I want to take you out again." She said she really likes me. Ended with a brief kiss. Second date planned for Saturday. I understand that I could've gamified this by keeping her wondering, but she already offered to pay for a second date ("Sure, you can ask me out on a date if you want. I might even say yes." is a killer line, by the way), so there wasn't any risk in being honest.
Meanwhile, a friend's friend wants to do happy hour with me; another friend wants to set me up with a co-worker; and I still have this other OKC girl (who's been away for the holidays and whose number I got a few days ago) to text tomorrow - she already agreed to a date as well.
So, yeah - it's easier to get over an ex when you see potential somewhere, and it's really easy to blunt the risk of things collapsing when you're meeting new people.
I used my standard date closer: "I like you, and I want to take you out again." She said she really likes me. Ended with a brief kiss. Second date planned for Saturday. I understand that I could've gamified this by keeping her wondering, but she already offered to pay for a second date ("Sure, you can ask me out on a date if you want. I might even say yes." is a killer line, by the way), so there wasn't any risk in being honest.
Meanwhile, a friend's friend wants to do happy hour with me; another friend wants to set me up with a co-worker; and I still have this other OKC girl (who's been away for the holidays and whose number I got a few days ago) to text tomorrow - she already agreed to a date as well.
So, yeah - it's easier to get over an ex when you see potential somewhere, and it's really easy to blunt the risk of things collapsing when you're meeting new people.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Must be the holiday season and new year. Talking to multiple girls and having trouble juggling them all.
davidwhangchoi
Member
nice to see you try what another GAFer suggested, sorry to hear no matches on bumble... anyways, thanks for being polite and responding to all my posts=)
it's definitely harder to trust and easier to be closed after what you shared....
several years ago (like 18 years ago), I had a situation where a woman told me she had feelings for me. i didn't want to rush things as didn't want to get hurt, she said felt so stupid for telling me her feelings bc i didn't reciprocate any response to them. in the end, i gave in and told i had deep feelings for her. she smiled and was so happy.. two weeks later she's going out with my friend. she let go of anything to do with me while i still hung on to my feelings. Mistakenly, (i shouldn't have even tried) i confronted her and asked her about our convo two weeks back. she denied it ever took place. I think it was especially hard bc i "threw all my eggs in one basket."
i had a rinse and repeat cycle: where i would be hurt then think of the good times and gave hope w/ her a little life support. when nothing came of it... disappointment...while simultaneously seeing her happy with w/ my former friend (we ran in the same social circles.)
i feel your pain... but trust is a good thing. you close that door, you're going to end up unwittingly being rotten to people, even if you don't intend to. making you unappealing. trust me.
true that=)
meeting new people definitely helps.
Please explain to me how I can go into a new relationship when the first one I had went sour the way it did. Her and I had an ultimate level of comfort. Brought her home (across the country) and all that shit. Blindsided and left in the dirt for fake reasons only to find out she essentially replaced me with someone else, which was the reason I was left. Love can certainly seem reciprocated, but that doesn't mean it's real. People are fake.
It really, really is. It obviously takes a bit of trust to even meet someone you talked to online in real life, and dating sites are included in that. If you can't manage to trust anyone even just a little bit, then what's the point? I'm not the most trustful person myself, but I do understand at some point you just have give another person a chance.
My ex, whom I dated for over 7 years, was manipulative and used all the secrets and problems I confessed to him and twisted them and threw them back at me, making me feel like shit for essentially being an imperfect human being. It took a while, but I got over it. We all get over it eventually. Do you seriously think you've been the only person here hurt by another person before?
You keep going back to this. If you're THAT untrusting and THAT bitter, you shouldn't be dating anyone right now, and working on yourself. You can't be in a relationship and not trust someone.
Second part is pretty much true. It's unfair to anyone you decide to date when you're letting your baggage from the past cloud your judgment of them.
Clearly Infinity, you're not ready to date yet when you let shit from past relationships interfere with you even in the present.
Don't fool yourself into thinking you've gone through something traumatic and inforgivable. Everyone has gone through bad breakups, not only you.
The only difference is you're still bitter about it even now and that's something you have to work on your own. Don't try to date someone and let them try to "heal you" because that would just be the shittiest move ever and you'd be no different from the ex that used you.
Also, don't try to blame this on "people being shitty" or "fake." I remember your previous threads here in GAF when you broke up with your ex. You made a SHITTON of mistakes post-breakup like having sex with your ex immediately after the break up so you would feel better and constantly calling and nagging her. Shit like that that wouldn't help you at all. You made a ton of mistakes and GAF was trying to point them out in the thread you made. Only thing is you ignored what everyone was posting in the thread. Don't try to blame this on anyone. This is on you as far as post breakup is concerned.
That's a bit too bitter for me lol. I just think it's a good idea to keep people at arms length.
In the end, everyone looks out for their own wellbeing, I do, you do, everyone does and that's how people operate. It would be silly to let anyone closer than arms length.
Cheers
You're using a ridiculously tiny sample size (like, come on, ONE) to write off every one in the world? There is not one genuine person in the world? All the GAFers in this thread are fakes trying to trick others/you? This is what anti-vaxxers and climate deniers do. Take a tiny shred of 'evidence' or anything that will help support their confirmation bias, and assume it is the whole truth.
I mean, it's fine to be angry ans upset after a break-up, but that was the wrong lesson to take from it. It's fine (and a good idea, really) to be on your guard, but what you're saying is irrational. GAF can't help you while you're still in that mindset. You're letting your ex win.
The same applies to "I don't like men and don't trust them". I mean, ok? Yeah, there are douches out there. But that is making you sound like a man-hating misandrist. GAF can't help that.
Well I was replying in terms of "dating" so didn't include women in that sentence because I wouldn't "date" them. But I don't trust other women either.
I trust people to the extent of being acquaintances with them and that's enough. Haha.Hugs are nice though D:
I don't buy that, otherwise you wouldn't be looking for friends on dating sites.Well I was replying in terms of "dating" so didn't include women in that sentence because I wouldn't "date" them. But I don't trust other women either.
You're clearly a very guarded person, the least you can do is trust yourself.
Just, god. I'm gonna be super blunt and super mean but I really don't care right now. This is to anyone that thinks this way.
You're untrusting, you don't think people are 'real' and are just assholes that are fake and so on. Okay, you can think that all you want. Then why the hell are you looking for any sort of interaction with anyone? You go on dates, talk to people, but you 'can't trust them' because everyone is just a horrible person out to hurt you. Okay, so then why continue to search for a relationship if you think everyone is fake and will break your trust? If you think it'll happen, then it'll happen. Might as well not try to find friends, either--they're all assholes too, no need for people that'll hurt you or possibly do or think something you don't like, after all! And family, god, what's the point of that? They're the worst of them all!
Do you guys not understand the harm you are doing to yourself by having as a terrible outlook on life? How can you find anyone with a bullshit attitude like that? No one wants to be with a person that doesn't trust them, and I mean this beyond a relationship sense.
And then on top of it y'all come in here with a 'woe is me i can't find anyone' sob story and expect everything to change without changing your frankly shitty attitude? Come on. Why are you here? Why are you in this thread? If you don't trust anyone, why are you on a forum with real humans on it in the first place?
Am I saying you should leave society? No. I'm saying that you *have* to understand that no, you're not unique; no, you're not the only one that had (xx) happen; no, your attitude is not healthy and perhaps you should work on changing it if you want to have meaningful human interactions. Coming in here and saying "oh alone forever lol" then saying you don't care about being alone is being flat out hypocritical... this is a fucking dating thread. The whole point of this thread, and going to online dating sites, is to find human interaction, preferably in the form of a significant other.
If you don't want that, and don't trust anyone enough to let them in, then don't go to online dating sites.
You're untrusting, you don't think people are 'real' and are just assholes that are fake and so on. Okay, you can think that all you want. Then why the hell are you looking for any sort of interaction with anyone? You go on dates, talk to people, but you 'can't trust them' because everyone is just a horrible person out to hurt you. Okay, so then why continue to search for a relationship if you think everyone is fake and will break your trust? If you think it'll happen, then it'll happen. Might as well not try to find friends, either--they're all assholes too, no need for people that'll hurt you or possibly do or think something you don't like, after all! And family, god, what's the point of that? They're the worst of them all!
Do you guys not understand the harm you are doing to yourself by having as a terrible outlook on life? How can you find anyone with a bullshit attitude like that? No one wants to be with a person that doesn't trust them, and I mean this beyond a relationship sense.
And then on top of it y'all come in here with a 'woe is me i can't find anyone' sob story and expect everything to change without changing your frankly shitty attitude? Come on. Why are you here? Why are you in this thread? If you don't trust anyone, why are you on a forum with real humans on it in the first place?
Am I saying you should leave society? No. I'm saying that you *have* to understand that no, you're not unique; no, you're not the only one that had (xx) happen; no, your attitude is not healthy and perhaps you should work on changing it if you want to have meaningful human interactions. Coming in here and saying "oh alone forever lol" then saying you don't care about being alone is being flat out hypocritical... this is a fucking dating thread. The whole point of this thread, and going to online dating sites, is to find human interaction, preferably in the form of a significant other.
If you don't want that, and don't trust anyone enough to let them in, then don't go to online dating sites.
welp prolly gonna get banned for this
NoctisVsStar
Member
Hey guys/girls haven't been here in a few days..
Let me keep it 100
If you can't take a leap of faith.. Then frankly what are you doing in life? That's all I'll say. People get hurt, people get betrayed, it's life you can't shield yourself in a bubble. Human interaction comes with the good and the bad, at times you have to give people the benefit of doubt while remaining skeptical until they prove they're legit. Otherwise like my father always tells me "if you're scared get dog or stay home" hardship and failure builds character, plus it makes you grow as a person. Either you can grow from it or just quit.
I don't mope around either when a relationship don't work. I had 3 year relationship end I was like "well that's sucks and on to the next" the world doesn't stop or feels sorry for you it continues just fine, besides I bet my ex is happy living her life and I won't stay behind either. Granted, not everyone is the same way I am. I love as strong as anyone but I won't degrate my persona because I have pride and shame. Regardless of being in a relationship or not I'm always happy cause before I met X girl I was doing just fine without her and I will continue to be fine without her, would having a partner be awesome? Sure, but that doesn't dictate my level general state of happiness like some.
I understand if you're feeling down for a few days and I'm with you in your pain like I tell my friends, but if you're still in a sad state of affairs months later frankly I have no sympathy or patience. Either you man/woman up or continue riding thru the city with your woes.
For the record I'm talking in general I'm not shooting shades at no one I address people directly, I don't got time to be snarky in case some feel some type of way with what I'm saying. It just seems like the topic of today's conversation.
Peace.
Let me keep it 100
If you can't take a leap of faith.. Then frankly what are you doing in life? That's all I'll say. People get hurt, people get betrayed, it's life you can't shield yourself in a bubble. Human interaction comes with the good and the bad, at times you have to give people the benefit of doubt while remaining skeptical until they prove they're legit. Otherwise like my father always tells me "if you're scared get dog or stay home" hardship and failure builds character, plus it makes you grow as a person. Either you can grow from it or just quit.
I don't mope around either when a relationship don't work. I had 3 year relationship end I was like "well that's sucks and on to the next" the world doesn't stop or feels sorry for you it continues just fine, besides I bet my ex is happy living her life and I won't stay behind either. Granted, not everyone is the same way I am. I love as strong as anyone but I won't degrate my persona because I have pride and shame. Regardless of being in a relationship or not I'm always happy cause before I met X girl I was doing just fine without her and I will continue to be fine without her, would having a partner be awesome? Sure, but that doesn't dictate my level general state of happiness like some.
I understand if you're feeling down for a few days and I'm with you in your pain like I tell my friends, but if you're still in a sad state of affairs months later frankly I have no sympathy or patience. Either you man/woman up or continue riding thru the city with your woes.
For the record I'm talking in general I'm not shooting shades at no one I address people directly, I don't got time to be snarky in case some feel some type of way with what I'm saying. It just seems like the topic of today's conversation.
Peace.
Interface23
Member
Oh come the hell on Infinity, I get that you were hurt in the past but if I can deal with the shit I've had to you can to. My girlfriend before the most recent was fucking killed and the recent one was like "we have too much distance between us and make better friends".
And yet I still have faith in humanity. Yes, some people will suck and you'll go through tremendous pain sometimes but you can't let that make you give up on people.
Just because she sucked doesn't mean everyone does. But you have to trust in people and not believe your woe is me crap.