I sure hope not. I like to keep GAF and real life separate.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I sure hope not. I like to keep GAF and real life separate.
Yeah agreed on all counts. Girls put zero effort in on pof.
j0hnnix
Member
Ive had a few beers....
I need some constructive criticism on what the hell im feeling(which no one can help with lol)/doing.
Anyways, So I am still seeing the same girl for about a week so far we've been on three dates the last date we planned to go see a movie albeit transformers.. She was busy with her nieces at her brothers house and i was busy getting ready for my business trip to Florida. So we finally meet up at a nice Sushi/Thai restaurant have dinner and I let her know that i am working tonight and need to be back by 1am, she says lets go to have some coffee an talk, im ok with that, we end up heading over to Starbucks.. We talk for about three hours a lot of laughing and her pushing(softly) me etc.. she ask lets go outside , we sit outside for the remainder of the night and continue talking we get into a conversation about chemistry - i take it like f*** this she doesn't think we have chemistry and i was about about to say bye. She immediately notices it and say what do you think im saying? i say what was on my mind and she says no we have chemistry. Great! Ding ding ding still in the fight, lol. Once we finish we kiss each other on the lips and she says if i didnt like you i wouldnt have wasted our time.. In my mind im like shit she's right.. fast forward to today.
She understood i would be training and was going to give me space and i adore her for that, past relationships ive had - the woman were to damn co-dependent. So after 1ish i tell her im back from lunch and i send her a gif "mind blown" because of all the training.. she doesnt msg me back, whatever not a big deal, i go out with my co workers have dinner and some beers and play some basketball.. she msgs me and says HI!
.. I see it after i head back to my hotel room and say Hey! about 5 mins later she says her friend got hit by the ball (she plays volleyball) and his nose is bleeding and she and her friend will be taking him to the hospital. Which is fine i tell her ive had a few beers and take care of him. msg me later.
What is happening its like i miss her and its only been a damn week... i want to give her space but i don't?? does that make sense.. Maybe im getting to attached and should back away from this... I really don't know.. I might be over thinking this..
I need some constructive criticism on what the hell im feeling(which no one can help with lol)/doing.
Anyways, So I am still seeing the same girl for about a week so far we've been on three dates the last date we planned to go see a movie albeit transformers.. She was busy with her nieces at her brothers house and i was busy getting ready for my business trip to Florida. So we finally meet up at a nice Sushi/Thai restaurant have dinner and I let her know that i am working tonight and need to be back by 1am, she says lets go to have some coffee an talk, im ok with that, we end up heading over to Starbucks.. We talk for about three hours a lot of laughing and her pushing(softly) me etc.. she ask lets go outside , we sit outside for the remainder of the night and continue talking we get into a conversation about chemistry - i take it like f*** this she doesn't think we have chemistry and i was about about to say bye. She immediately notices it and say what do you think im saying? i say what was on my mind and she says no we have chemistry. Great! Ding ding ding still in the fight, lol. Once we finish we kiss each other on the lips and she says if i didnt like you i wouldnt have wasted our time.. In my mind im like shit she's right.. fast forward to today.
She understood i would be training and was going to give me space and i adore her for that, past relationships ive had - the woman were to damn co-dependent. So after 1ish i tell her im back from lunch and i send her a gif "mind blown" because of all the training.. she doesnt msg me back, whatever not a big deal, i go out with my co workers have dinner and some beers and play some basketball.. she msgs me and says HI!
.. I see it after i head back to my hotel room and say Hey! about 5 mins later she says her friend got hit by the ball (she plays volleyball) and his nose is bleeding and she and her friend will be taking him to the hospital. Which is fine i tell her ive had a few beers and take care of him. msg me later. What is happening its like i miss her and its only been a damn week... i want to give her space but i don't?? does that make sense.. Maybe im getting to attached and should back away from this... I really don't know.. I might be over thinking this..
Cow Mengde
Banned
Hmm, I'll probably close my account soon. This is probably a waste of my time, and I can spend my energy to more constructive things. My reply rate isn't too bad all things considered. Of course getting replies means nothing when it just fades out. I don't think it works for a short guy, and backslashbunny thought that's probably the case as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone at all. I just think I might do better outside the internet. I lost my confidence since my last breakup and that was YEARS ago. Ever since then, it's just been work work work work work work work work work work. I just need to get out more and spend more time outside. I've had some good interaction with women outside and it's probably my cynical streak that's keeping my back.
I'll probably leave my account up for a little longer. Sometimes it does provide some amusement.
I'll probably leave my account up for a little longer. Sometimes it does provide some amusement.
I will be joining you, Cow. It is nearing two months since I have joined the site. I wasn't expecting to light the world on fire, but only getting one convo, after the amount of messages I have sent out, makes this feel like a waste of time. It is more frustrating than anything else.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Eh, it has already gone down hill haha. Shouldn't have chosen the Smores flavour.
Maybe I'll just stick to sleeping with women rather than dating them? It seems being too nice is a turn off so Ill go back to being the arrogant overconfident asshole.
Hmm, I'll probably close my account soon. This is probably a waste of my time, and I can spend my energy to more constructive things. My reply rate isn't too bad all things considered. Of course getting replies means nothing when it just fades out. I don't think it works for a short guy, and backslashbunny thought that's probably the case as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone at all. I just think I might do better outside the internet. I lost my confidence since my last breakup and that was YEARS ago. Ever since then, it's just been work work work work work work work work work work. I just need to get out more and spend more time outside. I've had some good interaction with women outside and it's probably my cynical streak that's keeping my back.
I'll probably leave my account up for a little longer. Sometimes it does provide some amusement.
Hahaha holy shit, ice cold. I may start doing this instead of reporting profiles.
Seriously though, I get where you're coming from. Getting confidence back after a bad breakup is always hard, and getting out to meet people is even harder.
Feelings can always turn a quick 180. One girl I dated years and years ago called it off abruptly and ended up marrying this guy two weeks later o_o
I guess my point is that you never really know how the girl feels until you actually know.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Well she said she was falling for me this morning and then goes to say I come on too strong? Goes on about how she didn't think there were any nice guys left and that I was the nicest guy she has ever met.
Confusing shit.
It happens. Sometimes emotions go up and down and people get scared.
Sober second thoughts and all.
Feelings are crazy dude. Sometimes they run hot, sometimes they run cold. You can't always explain it, maybe you pushed a little too hard without realizing after she told you her feelings or maybe her own feelings just freaked her out.
Hmm, I'll probably close my account soon. This is probably a waste of my time, and I can spend my energy to more constructive things. My reply rate isn't too bad all things considered. Of course getting replies means nothing when it just fades out. I don't think it works for a short guy, and backslashbunny thought that's probably the case as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone at all. I just think I might do better outside the internet. I lost my confidence since my last breakup and that was YEARS ago. Ever since then, it's just been work work work work work work work work work work. I just need to get out more and spend more time outside. I've had some good interaction with women outside and it's probably my cynical streak that's keeping my back.
I'll probably leave my account up for a little longer. Sometimes it does provide some amusement.
I should show a snapshot of my inbox to show my response to sending out messages ratio. It is terrible! But to me, it just takes those few convos to get going. If anyone kept up with my activity in the previous OKC thread, I would use the app casually without much results for the entire 1st year. I finally decided to go all in and actually put some effort and just message anyone I'm interested in. I can PM yall some of my successful convos if yall want. Maybe it can help, I dunno. Just lemme know.
Cow Mend: I don't see why you can't continue to hit up both online and offline girls. I actually got a cute girl's number the other night at a bar and I think chatting with girls online kinda helped.
GK86: 2 months is such a short period of time. Girls comes and goes with their accounts. When I have to delete all the messages I sent because my inbox is full from of people not responding lol...=(, I see so many accounts that have been deactivated. I'd give it a few months more.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Three! Though I don't post often in here
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/we-experiment-on-human-beings/
Did you guys see this? Pretty cool. Conversations went UP and MORE responses when pictures are removed.
WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT - said nobody
and after pics came on people stopped talking again
... shallow people LOL
Did you guys see this? Pretty cool. Conversations went UP and MORE responses when pictures are removed.
WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT - said nobody
and after pics came on people stopped talking again
... shallow people LOL
Well that escalated quickly. I don't think you should give up quite. Keep sleeping with girls, but still continue your search.
If you know of no in between, then there's no wonder you feel what way you do.
Ha! Experiment #2 is basically what I said earlier - pics matters first, then conversational skills with profile not really mattering much.
Hmm, I'll probably close my account soon. This is probably a waste of my time, and I can spend my energy to more constructive things. My reply rate isn't too bad all things considered. Of course getting replies means nothing when it just fades out. I don't think it works for a short guy, and backslashbunny thought that's probably the case as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone at all. I just think I might do better outside the internet. I lost my confidence since my last breakup and that was YEARS ago. Ever since then, it's just been work work work work work work work work work work. I just need to get out more and spend more time outside. I've had some good interaction with women outside and it's probably my cynical streak that's keeping my back.
I'll probably leave my account up for a little longer. Sometimes it does provide some amusement.
As a fellow short guy, I wouldn't get too hung up on the height thing. OKC and Tinder, the true test of shallowness, have worked out pretty well for me on continuing dates. Obviously there are people who want tall dudes, and that's perfectly ok, but there are also women who don't care about the height difference. The girl I'm seeing now from OKC is like two inches taller than me, and she's only like 5'6, and I've got another date with a girl who's like 5'8 (according to her profile, at least). Taking time offline is a good thing, but I would say just use the online as a supplement to your offline time. They will definitely feed into each other, IMO, in helping you get back where you feel you need to be confidence-wise.
Woody Invincible
Banned
I really think some of you guys might just be trying to hard. I think I'm good looking, not not super sexy, and I was always picky about who I sent messages, but I got replied back to 80-90% of the time. I would only message people who had been logged in the last 24 hours to start with. It helps to say something completely off the wall and stupid. I would really appreciate hearing what some of your opening messages are to gauge what might be off putting or whatever.
Edit ~~ Maybe you can share your height as well to perhaps see a correlation.
Edit ~~ Maybe you can share your height as well to perhaps see a correlation.
DarkChronic
Member
Geeze, an 80-90 percent response rate is pretty incredible. I did the math on my messages and I'm at 25% (which I thought was decent for about 55-60 messages over several months), not counting girls who messages me first.
But like you said, opening lines have to be quirky and weird. I never get responses when I say, "Hey, I like this TV show too, what's your favorite season?"
This, however, worked for me: "Noticed you said chicken wings were your favorite food. I always thought they were a terrible first date food, but maybe you can prove me wrong."
We went out for chicken wings a week later.
donkey show
Member
I'm 5'5" and have had several dates/flings through OKC with shorter/taller women and am currently in a relationship someone from there for more than a year now. It's luck of the draw really more than anything else or rather being an Asian American in the UK is that much of a novelty, lol.
How tall are you and where are you at?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
For me, I only look at height when they inevitably bring it up in the "first thing people notice about me" section.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Shorter than you. I'm 5'4".
LOL I had (what I thought at the time) the best match ever about a month ago. We hit it off like nothing Ive experienced before, and were talking about the future and shit. It felt super fast but it also felt super right. Basically I was in the same boat as you.
Fast forward to a month later: we haven't talked in 2 weeks, she blocked me on FB and blocked my phone. The gist of it was she wanted to take it slow. Cool. First date is the best first date I`ve ever had, and ends just with a (mutual, consentual) kiss. Awesome. Talk all week, then date two. On that date everything is fine except I notice she pulls away from even the slightest contact. Weird but I roll with it. Later I tried to kiss her again and she pulls away (most embarassing shit ever BTW). I never got to ask about it because her friends who we'd agreed to meet for drinks show up.
The next day I message her and inquire. Tells me she was recently sexually assaulted and that she thought I was incredibly disrespectful for "invading her private space" to kiss her, despite having no knowledge of her assault and having previously kissed her without issue. Then she cuts off all communication. Weird experience. Now I'm back to using Tinder for sex instead of relationships.
Shit happens, there are lots of people with issues out there and you should base nothing off the initial phase.
Hahaha, that exact same shit happened to me just now.
I went on an amazing two dates with this girl from Coffee Meets Bagel. I thought we clicked really well. She was already trying to make plans for a 3rd date. I kissed her good night and she kissed me back again. The following day, she was texting inside jokes. Then this weekend, she didn't text anything. And just now, I get a text from her saying she thinks we'd be better off as friends and that she didn't feel that "click".
Oh well. On to the next one. I think I'll join Tinder and see if there's girls in my area who are DTF.
I went on an amazing two dates with this girl from Coffee Meets Bagel. I thought we clicked really well. She was already trying to make plans for a 3rd date. I kissed her good night and she kissed me back again. The following day, she was texting inside jokes. Then this weekend, she didn't text anything. And just now, I get a text from her saying she thinks we'd be better off as friends and that she didn't feel that "click".
Oh well. On to the next one. I think I'll join Tinder and see if there's girls in my area who are DTF.
I just want to get this off my chest: Some people are extremely afraid of communication, to the point where they think communicating automatically means a fight or something negative. And it happens regardless of age as well.
My most recent long-term ex, for instance, couldn't communicate her (lack of) feelings properly and ended up creating one of the most deceptive and toxic environments I've ever been in. My ex before that didn't see our relationship as an actual relationship -- and it took her over four months to tell me that. And I could go on and on :x
Sorry. It's a bit of a sore point for me.
TheKaeptain
Banned
I remember this story...
Stealing it!
My second choice was: "Hey, can I have your head north and your ass south?"
Team 27 and NHL GAF bros get exclusive access to my memoirs.
In new Tinder news though, have dates lined up for Thursday and Saturday.
Science museum.
Arcade bar.
Uncle0wnage
Member
Got a date with a girl off PoF set for Friday. Pizza at a local dive and then going to see Guardians of the Galaxy. Will report back on how it goes.
2nd this or art museum
HoopzBarkley
Member
I think I just have really bad luck on these sites, I've only gotten one person to go on a couple of dates but that's about it.
Too much iron in your diet.
So I'm about to sign up for tinder. What do people put on their tinder profile? It seems this is based way more on looks so is there any point in putting anything at all?
Edit- made a profile and started swiping. As someone who's not white, I have zero chance with all these white women.
Edit- made a profile and started swiping. As someone who's not white, I have zero chance with all these white women.
Lmao! I still plan on getting around to doing a dramatic reading version of it when I get the energy for it. Unfortunately, I think that's the last bit of iron I'm going to ingest for a little while since I haven't heard from her ever since. I wanted to wash my mouth off of the taste so badly. I ain't even mad to be honest; I've noticed women in public express interest in me more clearly now. It's like a fog got lifted from my eyes. Definitely going to need to eat a ton more fiber in my diet.Too much iron in your diet.
I tried using your first line. Most of it didn't get a response with one of them going "...k?" I failed you! D:
In other news, went out with a girl on Tinder I've been chatting a few days with now and we had a great night. Went to a bar with a pond nearby. Tried to kiss her at the bar and she denied it. Later, we walk around the pond and I went for it again and we made out. I don't normally go out with this type, but we clicked really well so I'll give it another shot.
I will try to find a bunch of bars with ponds nearby. Shit was pretty romantic.
new best choice
(obviously not me)
Ok. I chuckled at this.