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[Somnia]

So I just wanted to share I met a girl on match recently, we've been talking for over a month now and are going on our 4th date this weekend. She is a single mom so that makes things go slower obviously. Biggest change for me is being patient as she is so busy during the week so we send a couple texts a day, sometimes none it just depends. I'm always a worrier and last message I got from her was at 11AM on Friday, but I saw her log into facebook and onto Match (earlier in the day saturday), but heard nothing from her, but she started texting me last night before she went to bed and she's actually re-doing her entire schedule for her daughter/ex husband so she gets more free time because before she almost had none. She actually blew some steam off on our last day regarding that to me how she felt like she never got any adult time cause she always had her daughter EVERY day. I guess I'll take it as a good sign she is changing things up and setting up a date with me on her first kid free weekend.

I really like her so far and just hoping I don't screw things up =) I've been here before where I met someone, went great and then she just up and changed her mind cause she met someone else on Match... here's hoping!

 

[Jhoan]

Update on the Indian girl: she wants to meet up for dinner/drinks at a Thai place near her way later tonight (6PM EST). That neighborhood is both good and bad. Problem is I'm an art student as I need buy supplies for my Water Color Painting class this week (at least $80+ spent on like 6 items). I can always split the bill with her to save money and order the cheapest stuff. I've yet to reply to her texts but I think I'm going to accept.

@Funky Papa, about sending a second message to a girl who's messages went dry, I think you're right about that. I'll try doing with a couple of girls who stopped replying to me over the weekend and see what happens.

 

[Kyne]

Update on the Indian girl: she wants to meet up for dinner/drinks at a Thai place near her way later tonight (6PM EST). That neighborhood is both good and bad. Problem is I'm an art student as I need buy supplies for my Water Color Painting class this week (at least $80+ spent on like 6 items). I can always split the bill with her to save money and order the cheapest stuff. I've yet to reply to her texts but I think I'm going to accept.

@Funky Papa, about sending a second message to a girl who's messages went dry, I think you're right about that. I'll try doing with a couple of girls who stopped replying to me over the weekend and see what happens.

why everyone doesn't go dutch on the first date astounds me.

 

[stn]

The last 3 girls to message me are all located continents away from me. In fact, one of them messaged me before and I replied with a "you live too far, there's no point" message. She messaged me again, lol.

I'm just curious: what do they really expect out of me? That I'll fund their move to my country? That I'll move to theirs? That we'll fall in love online? Why are they even looking at profiles located oceans away? I swear, I will never understand people.

 

[Jhoan]

why everyone doesn't go dutch on the first date astounds me.

It depends on who you ask since everybody has different opinions on it but traditionally if you're the one who's inviting, you're the one who pays. Obviously it works differently in other countries. In past dates, I have payed for both me and my date.

However, on the last date I went on (before the DTF date), we went to a restaurant, split the bill, and I didn't have a problem with it. My oldest brother typically pays for his dates and would feel iffy if a girl offers to split; my older brother who's now married would go offer to go dutch in his bachelor days if he couldn't afford it and his dates would totally be cool with it. I wouldn't mind splitting the bill on my future dates more often and will do so for this dinner date which has been confirmed for tonight at 6.

 

[Kyne]

Yeah, I get that. The bill will actually say a lot about the girl though. I'd want to date a girl with the mentally of splitting the bill on the first date. It's pretty simple to me is all.

 

[Jhoan]

Yeah, I get that. The bill will actually say a lot about the girl though. I'd want to date a girl with the mentally of splitting the bill on the first date. It's pretty simple to me is all.

Personally I too get I get impressed if a girl is cool with splitting the bill since I always make sure to mention that I'm an art student; that gets bonus points in my book. They usually get the hint and understand. Gauging my date's reaction when it comes to getting the bill is a pretty fascinating moment since that's where the facial expressions start to change from awkward to confused as we figure it out. It's like the moment when you want to go in for a kiss but you're not sure how to go about it.

 

[Luigi87]

I made a POF account out of curiousity. I click the Match tab...
First girl on the list is the one I already went on a date with from OKC who didn't return my texts afterwards.

I can't help but laugh.

 

[davepoobond]

I made a POF account out of curiousity. I click the Match tab...
First girl on the list is the one I already went on a date with from OKC who didn't return my texts afterwards.

I can't help but laugh.

At least the match formula "works"

But yeah, there's a bit of overlap.

 

[Jhoan]

Update on today's date: We had a decently long conversation on the phone and agreed to postpone it until after the 15th of this month. She originally offered to move it up to 9:30pm but I was hesitant since I've never been to her area and it would've taken me ages to get back home.

Apparently, on top of recovering from her injury, she has to prepare her lesson plan for her first day of class on Tuesday, will traveling on Wednesday to do research, and won't be back until the 15th so it works out perfectly. I'll be busy with school, doing an internship, and dating other girls in between that time period. She sounded really cool via phone so I'm actually looking forward to meeting her now.

I think at some point in the future---should I continue going out with girls---there's going to be a period of time where I'm gonna need a ton of time of to myself because of classes and other things because I'm going to feel overwhelmed so I hope the girls I go out with in the future can understand that. School is the main reason I want to deactivate my Tinder for a couple of months. By the end of next week, I think I'm going to do so because there's so many cute girls at school too. Being single and actively dating for fun is awesome but only to a certain extent.

 

[Sketchbag]

Yeah, I get that. The bill will actually say a lot about the girl though. I'd want to date a girl with the mentally of splitting the bill on the first date. It's pretty simple to me is all.

If she won't split the check then that's when you split... the check and then you split.

 

[Jhoan]

EDIT: The experienced brother has spoken. I said "That can be arranged. I can help you be busy helping you not unpacking. What's your number?" Pray for my success guys.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

The last 3 girls to message me are all located continents away from me. In fact, one of them messaged me before and I replied with a "you live too far, there's no point" message. She messaged me again, lol.

I'm just curious: what do they really expect out of me? That I'll fund their move to my country? That I'll move to theirs? That we'll fall in love online? Why are they even looking at profiles located oceans away? I swear, I will never understand people.

Get that green card.

 

[Sketchbag]

Started talking to this chick. Next Saturday I'm going to her place in Victoria.

I am too drunk for this shit.

 

[davepoobond]

well the girl i was texting decided to not respond to my text today, so i guess we'll see if she responds to me by tuesday. i asked if she wanted to meet this past friday for this week (she said she did) but she said she wouldn't have her schedule until saturday, so i was gonna ask her today when she wanted to meet.

she's another one of those people that don't ask questions back so it was a little bit frustrating to talk to her.... i guess i'll text her sometime tomorrow and ask her what day is good to meet and if she doesn't respond then that's that

 

[Horseticuffs]

well the girl i was texting decided to not respond to my text today, so i guess we'll see if she responds to me by tuesday. i asked if she wanted to meet this past friday for this week (she said she did) but she said she wouldn't have her schedule until saturday, so i was gonna ask her today when she wanted to meet.

she's another one of those people that don't ask questions back so it was a little bit frustrating to talk to her.... i guess i'll text her sometime tomorrow and ask her what day is good to meet and if she doesn't respond then that's that

Sometimes people are so rude and uninvolved. Until this last woman I had tons of chicks just fall off the face of the Earth. I get it that it's awkward to say "Hey, leave me alone." but it's not like I'm trying to lure them into a van. I'm trying to get to know them on a dating site they willingly made an account on. It's awkward to just fucking get sucked up into the ether, too.

I don't even own a van, ladies.

 

[Jhoan]

Well the above girl didn't respond to my bold proposition. I'm not even mad since it was fun to begin with.

Also the second date I was supposed to have today with the Ecuadorian girl has been canceled. She sent me a text several minutes ago saying has to go to Costco with her mother with her mother to do some shopping. Part of me can't help but be a bit cynical. I said no problem and suggested that we reschedule for another day when we're both not busy. I was actually looking forward to it so I'm feeling a bit bummed out especially since the weather improved.

Talk about a experiencing double whammy of not one but two canned dates in a row. I think I may have jinxed myself but at least I can go to the art supplies store today to prepare for my Thursday class. All this dating rescheduling is only to get worse as I get deeper into school work but I'll figure something out since I can still make time for girls if they do the same.

 

[Funky Papa]

Girls getting cold feet kinda sucks, but specially once you have scheduled a date :/

I've become super paranoid of what I text (well, the WhatsApp messages I send) once I get their numbers.

 

[AdventureRacing]

EDIT: The experienced brother has spoken. I said "That can be arranged. I can help you be busy helping you not unpacking. What's your number?" Pray for my success guys.

Your response was a little confusing to read and a bit too long as well. Also despite the fact she was being so forward she was being a lot more subtle. Of course in a lot of cases like this i would say it doesn't matter what you say as not everyone intends to go through with things like that. Sometimes the flirting is the fun enough.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Girls getting cold feet kinda sucks, but specially once you have scheduled a date :/

I've become super paranoid of what I text (well, the WhatsApp messages I send) once I get their numbers.

Once you get their number only text to set up a date if you haven't already. Anything else can wait until the actual date.

 

[Funky Papa]

Once you get their number only text to set up a date if you haven't already. Anything else can wait until the actual date.

I only text back for this very reason. I don't to be seen as pushy.

 

[davepoobond]

edit: uhhh that was a weird double post?

i was on mobile gaf.

 

[davepoobond]

Sometimes people are so rude and uninvolved. Until this last woman I had tons of chicks just fall off the face of the Earth. I get it that it's awkward to say "Hey, leave me alone." but it's not like I'm trying to lure them into a van. I'm trying to get to know them on a dating site they willingly made an account on. It's awkward to just fucking get sucked up into the ether, too.

I don't even own a van, ladies.

Yeah, I agree.

In my case she actually gave me her number without asking for it, and now she is apparently ignoring me. No idea what the hell the point of any of this was.

Once you get their number only text to set up a date if you haven't already. Anything else can wait until the actual date.

Do you just not say anything to them in the mean time? What if its 4 days out or something?

 

[Luigi87]

I had what was the absolute best conversation I had online with a girl... Which all came to an end when she saw that I live about a 30-40 minute drive away (diff. cities). She said she had poor experiences with long distance in the past, and well, I certainly wouldn't force it upon her.

But just... dang >_<

In my case she actually gave me her number without asking for it, and now she is apparently ignoring me. No idea what the hell the point of any of this was.

lol, that how the end of my last date went. She gave me her number at the end of it without me prompting her to, but then she never responded to my texts thereafter. Oh well.

 

[Funky Papa]

Do you just not say anything to them in the mean time? What if its 4 days out or something?

Funny you said that. I arranged tomorrow's date with this girl past friday. She was on vacations, so we couldn't work it this weekend. She texted me on sunday, and in turn I kind of felt the pressure to text her today just to say hi and ask her about her first day back at her job. Just trying to be polite. The thing is, I grossly misunderstood her fist message (honestly, MASSIVE double entendre right there) and I only managed to save the date by doing some unreal Whatsapp gymnastics.

My biggest concern is that many girls of my age group (late 20's/early 30's) are crazy insecure and don't even know what they want. You can easily tell their sex drives are revving out of the engine bay (single, usually living in their own place, have seen it all already), but at the same time they deeply desire a meaningful relationship, and thus give incredibly mixed signals depending on their mood.

It makes me feel like I'm walking on a minefield, specially since I approach my dates as if they were a blank sheet of paper, which somehow makes them even more insecure about my intentions (which are as open as they could be -I'm cool with either friends, actual romance or something in the middle).

Ugh.

/hyperventilates

 

[davepoobond]

lol, that how the end of my last date went. She gave me her number at the end of it without me prompting her to, but then she never responded to my texts thereafter. Oh well.

all i can do is shake my head.

Funny you said that. I arranged tomorrow's date with this girl past friday. She was on vacations, so we couldn't work it this weekend. She texted me on sunday, and in turn I kind of felt the pressure to text her today just to say hi and ask her for her first day back at her job. Just trying to be polite. The thing is, I grossly misunderstood her fist message (honestly, MASSIVE double entendre right there) and I only managed to save the date by doing some unreal Whatsapp gymnastics.

My biggest concern is that many girls of my group age (late 20's/early 30's) are crazy insecure and don't even know what they want. You can easily tell their sex drives are revving out of the engine bay (single, usually living in their own place, have seen it all already), but at the same time they deeply desire a meaningful relationship, and thus give incredibly mixed signals depending on their mood.

It makes me feel like I'm walking on a minefield, specially since I approach my dates as if they were a blank sheet of paper, which somehow makes them even more insecure about my intentions (which are as open as they could be -I'm cool with either friends, actual romance or something in the middle).

Ugh.

/hyperventilates

yeah, i think the online/texting hurdles in the beginning of this dating process are the worst part of this whole thing. After I had the date last week that didn't go very well I was sorta tapped out until I got that current match.

on the age thing i think i agree with you... i guess i gotta just wade it out

all of a sudden i have 2 more girls trying to contact me, so I guess we'll see where that goes, but I already have a feeling they're going to stop replying to me lol. i sent them messages, they're "online" but nothing yet. so i guess they've already lost interest

 

[AlphaTwo00]

Aright, at this point, POF is like pure junk. I'm wading through plenty of profiles that either say the same bullshit (I'm looking for someone loyal, funny, responsible) without any actual substance, or just straight up magical empty wall. And the ones I do get replies are like bullshit responses. I had one that had just replied (note: the about me was "coming soon..."): "so what would be a reason why you think we're compatible?" At this point I'm grasping for anything that's on her page that can be remotely held on as conversation starters, like "well you like food, and I'm open to trying anything", to which i get the reply "thanks for being honest, I don't think we are compatible". End convo.

This is retarded, I have to say. I think I'm still doing way better on OKC despite having less people on it.

 

[Jhoan]

I get the feeling that that girl just wanted another Instagram follower to stroke her ego because after she asked me for mines yesterday, she's gone cold on me. She has over 1000 posts vs. my 43 posts. She hasn't replied to my text that I sent her this morning. The ball is in her court on whether on whether or not she's interested in replying. I'll go cold on her for a couple of days. This sucks but I can and will meet plenty of girls at school these next couple of days to keep me occupied since it's been so easy to strike up a conversation. I've been back at the swiping game on Tinder as well; been messaging a few girls.

The Israeli girl that I was supposed to go out with a couple of weeks ago is returning from her vacation in 5 days. We'll see if her interest to meet up is still there once she gets back. Like Funky Papa, I'm gonna have to text her after she returns to become a blip on her radar again. Unless she remembers me of course in which case it'll be a very good sign.

Sorry for the vent guys. I'm still feeling a bit bummed out by my string of 3 canned/postponed Tinder dates in a row. =/ I think heading out will do me some good despite it being Labor Day. Also drawing.

 

[woodchuck]

I found tinder to be a lot of flakes. Texting multiple girls that don't ever actually want to meet up. Coffee meets bagel has girls who are actually serious about meeting up. Unfortunately, it's a much slower process since you only see one profile a day.

 

[Horseticuffs]

Plenty of Fish? More like Plenty of Flakes, amirite?

I'd never seen so many girls who would literally put NOTHING down or have a huge list that must disqualify 90% of all living humans. Then you have the people whose accounts fairly DRIP desperation and actually nearly beg people to message them and they never respond or even look at your profile...

This chick I'm meeting on the weekend I messaged her back over like two weeks ago. Her account had no pic and was pretty short but had some good intel in there to message her about. Luckily she decided to check her inbox randomly since she'd pretty much given up hope and stopped.

As luck would have it she's really sweet and cute. I don't normally message accounts with no pics attached.

 

[RandyBobandy]

I had what was the absolute best conversation I had online with a girl... Which all came to an end when she saw that I live about a 30-40 minute drive away (diff. cities). She said she had poor experiences with long distance in the past, and well, I certainly wouldn't force it upon her.

But just... dang >_<



lol, that how the end of my last date went. She gave me her number at the end of it without me prompting her to, but then she never responded to my texts thereafter. Oh well.

30 minutes isn't long distance lol. What is she going on about. It takes more than 30 minutes just to get to the other side of my town

 

[Doomsayer]

30 minutes isn't long distance lol. What is she going on about. It takes more than 30 minutes just to get to the other side of my town

Seriously... my lady lives two states over.

Somehow we still each other once a week.

 

[Luigi87]

30 minutes isn't long distance lol. What is she going on about. It takes more than 30 minutes just to get to the other side of my town

Oh I fully agree with you.
Hell one of my best friends, he fiance lives in the US (we're Canadian). She's just waiting for all the visa stuff to go through, etc.

Either way, I said I wouldn't force the issue (though I did send her one last message, since she said long distance didn't work out three times, "well you know what they say... fourth time's the charm!")

 

[davepoobond]

Oh I fully agree with you.
Hell one of my best friends, he fiance lives in the US (we're Canadian). She's just waiting for all the visa stuff to go through, etc.

Either way, I said I wouldn't force the issue (though I did send her one last message, since she said long distance didn't work out three times, "well you know what they say... fourth time's the charm!")

"i only date people within 5 minute driving distance of me"

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Do you just not say anything to them in the mean time? What if its 4 days out or something?

Some like to talk and think silence is off-putting so keep up a conversation. Others are content with seeing you on the weekends where you can catch up with each other. Myself, I fall into the latter group. My life isn't nearly interesting enough to provide daily updates.

 

[Kyne]

So much negativity coming from the thread lately!

It's been exactly one month since I met this girl on OkCupid. As of today we officially tagged the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label on ourselves. She's smart, beautiful, funny, and everything I've ever wanted out of a girl. I'm not sure what the path ahead has in store but I hope that I get to walk it with her for as long as possible.

Don't give up hope guys. c:

 

[davepoobond]

So much negativity coming from the thread lately!

It's been exactly one month since I met this girl on OkCupid. As of today we officially tagged the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label on ourselves. She's smart, beautiful, funny, and everything I've ever wanted out of a girl. I'm not sure what the path ahead has in store but I hope that I get to walk it with her for as long as possible.

Don't give up hope guys. c:

I set up another meet up this week, actually... Maybe it won't go horribly.

This will be my 3rd online "date" and 2 within the past couple weeks.

I guess I should think positively . but it's sooooo haaaarrrdddd

 

[BIGWORM]

Girl I started talking to a couple days ago just friend requested me today on Facebook.


AHAHAHAHAHA no. I don't friend ANY of the chicks that I'm dating on Facebook or any other social media outlet.

Quick update: So, the chick that pretty much ended it with my to get back with her ex boyfriend? Well, she literally came crying back to me and we made up for another month or so, then she found out she has cervical cancer. So, on top of her anxiety problems for which she's taking medication, I decided to give her the space she needs to get all that sorted.

 

[Smiley90]

Girl I started talking to a couple days ago just friend requested me today on Facebook.


AHAHAHAHAHA no. I don't friend ANY of the chicks that I'm dating on Facebook or any other social media outlet.

I told my ex to add me on facebook after our first date

Spoiler

because I forgot her name and that was the only reasonable way to get her name

 

[GrizzNKev]

OKC is shit

nobody replies

I'm not even ugly

Fuck this

Are there any girls on GAF in Seattle? Come hang out with me, I'm really cool.

 

[Drensch]

Guys, if you have a choice? Be a 6ft3 white guy who loves animals, is vegan and is pot friendly. You won't be able to walk.

 

[woodchuck]

I was gonna take a break but decided to go out with a girl from CMB last night. after the date (we drove separately and she parked on another street), my car wouldn't start! I had to get a friend to come and help me jump it. When I told him I had just finished on a date, he thought I should have called up the girl and asked her to help me jump it. What would you guys have done?

 

[Funky Papa]

Yeah... not really sure about that. It's hard to say without knowing the girl in question, but chances are you could expose her to some degree of frustration and insecurity unless you feel really sure of yourself around cars.

 

[Horseticuffs]

I was gonna take a break but decided to go out with a girl from CMB last night. after the date (we drove separately and she parked on another street), my car wouldn't start! I had to get a friend to come and help me jump it. When I told him I had just finished on a date, he thought I should have called up the girl and asked her to help me jump it. What would you guys have done?

You never, ever show weakness on a first date. You want her to think you're a fucking mess?

You made the right call and your homeboy shouldn't have thrown that shade.

 

[Funky Papa]

 

[Horseticuffs]

We must hang together or we shall assuredly all hang separately.

 

[Funky Papa]

Current status:

Two different dates this week (first one coming up later today, yay!) and talking to 6 other ladies at the same time with different degrees of success. The latter part may sound awesome, but it's definitely taking some mental toll on me, not to mention the number it's doing on my daily schedule. Keeping so many conversations open, fresh and funny is actual hard work.

I feel like I overreached and may end up losing half of them sooner than later. I got too bold after a short stint and now I'm regretting it. It's probably wise to know when to stop knocking at new doors. I'm also somewhat worried my dates may check my stats, see my increasing rep over the last couple of days and get weird.

Ugh.

 

[Horseticuffs]

Current status:

Two different dates this week (first one coming up later today, yay!) and talking to 6 other ladies at the same time with different degrees of success. The latter part may sound awesome, but it's definitely taking some mental toll on me, not to mention the number it's doing on my daily schedule. Keeping so many conversations open, fresh and funny is actual hard work.

I feel like I overreached and may end up losing half of them sooner than later. I got too bold after a short stint and now I'm regretting it. It's probably wise to know when to stop knocking at new doors. I'm also somewhat worried my dates may check my stats, see my increasing rep over the last couple of days and get weird.

Ugh.

That sounds inanely complex. Keep your angles straight!

 

[AlphaTwo00]

So much negativity coming from the thread lately!

It's been exactly one month since I met this girl on OkCupid. As of today we officially tagged the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label on ourselves. She's smart, beautiful, funny, and everything I've ever wanted out of a girl. I'm not sure what the path ahead has in store but I hope that I get to walk it with her for as long as possible.

Don't give up hope guys. c:

Sorry. I think you were the first that had commented on my post a few pages back when I showed up here after the breakup (met on okc, 5 months, everything was going well, then boom...). I'm trying to be as optimistic as I can by throwing myself back in, and it sort of helps, but it's just reminding me everything I had been through before on these sites. It's just vague responses and emptiness.

 

[SRG01]

I told my ex to add me on facebook after our first date

Spoiler

because I forgot her name and that was the only reasonable way to get her name

Waaaaaait, wouldn't you have her name in your text messages or something?