I say I fear becoming that same monster because I feel tremendous anger at times. It's not explosive, it's seething. I can see myself letting it out.
More often than not, the fear of becoming something you don't want to be is generally what drives people into becoming exactly that.
Everyone is angry at some point in life, doesn't matter what causes it, or why, everyone has stuff going on, a shitty father or mother, shitty situations etc. etc.
But it's how you deal with that anger that is the most important thing, the simple act of being able to recognize that it's there and why it exists is the first step of being able to get past it, many people aren't even capable of that.
Honestly you should probably talk to someone about it, be it professionally or someone close to you that you can simply open up to, talking can do wonders. My suggestion is that you need an outlet for it in the meantime, some kind of physical activity, finding ways to channel it into something productive can turn something as negative as anger into a strength with positive outcomes.
