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[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I see.

I thought you were still talking about Game of Thrones and I was so confused. #justice4LorasxRenly

I mean it happened in a simulation and then

Spoiler

one of them gets shot I guess in said simulation

and I had to stop myself from screaming all over again

 

[Jobbs]

Comes with the turf. Run her a romantic bath or some shit. Have no real advice for you, people in high stress professions decompress in different ways. Banging you seems to be working for her so far, no?

Sometimes, sure. I never quite know what I'm getting because some days take a bigger toll on her than others. I didn't, for example, get any action last night (which is fine). I made her laugh a lot which I hope helped!

 

[Granadier]

Sometimes, sure. I never quite know what I'm getting because some days take a bigger toll on her than others. I didn't, for example, get any action last night (which is fine). I made her laugh a lot which I hope helped!

You're probably the thing she looks forward to while going through that stressful ass day.

---

Windam's going on an adventure.

 

[You Know Nothing]

Not my fave being in a good movie.

I'll watch this after I finish The Age of Shitaline.

 

[FUME5]

Sometimes, sure. I never quite know what I'm getting because some days take a bigger toll on her than others. I didn't, for example, get any action last night (which is fine). I made her laugh a lot which I hope helped!

Laughter being the best medicine and all that. I was being flippant, I doubt the efficient sex would keep her around for almost 2 months on it's own.

 

[Jobbs]

Laughter being the best medicine and all that. I was being flippant, I doubt the efficient sex would keep her around for almost 2 months on it's own.

And efficient it is.

You're probably the thing she looks forward to while going through that stressful ass day.

I hope so =]

 

[FUME5]

And efficient it is.

Oh.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

DANY OMG

 

[You Know Nothing]

DANY OMG

Basically.

The first cool thing she's done since season one.

 

[Bko]

Jobbs is Nikki's mister baby

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I'M NUTTING EVERYWHERE

 

[Jobbs]

Oh.

her hotness is working against me here.

I wonder if wearing two C's makes you last longer. I've never tried it. Someone told me that once.

Jobbs is Nikki's mister baby

lol, technically the cat was.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

THE LOOK SHE'S GIVING HER SUBJECTS RN

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

her hotness is working against me here.

I wonder if wearing two C's makes you last longer. I've never tried it. Someone told me that once.
.

bigger chance of ripping because physics.

 

[Granadier]

her hotness is working against me here.

I wonder if wearing two C's makes you last longer. I've never tried it. Someone told me that once.

bigger chance of ripping because physics.

This. Two would be a mistake.
There are some out there that are supposed to extend duration, and they make lube to do the same.

---

Windam has died.

 

[Jobbs]

bigger chance of ripping because physics.

This. Two would be a mistake.
There are some out there that are supposed to extend duration, and they make lube to do the same.

I'm exaggerating a bit. I think I can do okay sometimes.

Honestly I'd like to kill the practice all together one of these days. Condoms are just kind of gross and add these awkwards beats to any encounter.

 

[FUME5]

her hotness is working against me here.

I wonder if wearing two C's makes you last longer. I've never tried it. Someone told me that once.

lol, technically the cat was.

Nah, double bagging is not viable. Try one of those numbing creams or condoms. Maybe look into buying one of those sleek lady fucking machines Ceallach posted last week so you have a robo tag team buddy.

 

[Bko]

I haven't wanked in a while now and I'm super horny and there is no relieve in sight

 

[Granadier]

I'm exaggerating a bit. I think I can do okay sometimes.

Honestly I'd like to kill the practice all together one of these days. Condoms are just kind of gross and add these awkwards beats to any encounter.

One of the best and worst inventions mankind has created.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

that dany scene has me hot and bothered

need a cold shower

 

[Jobbs]

I haven't wanked in a while now and I'm super horny and there is no relieve in sight

why not just beat off? it's not that bad

Nah, double bagging is not viable. Try one of those numbing creams or condoms. Maybe look into buying one of those sleek lady fucking machines Ceallach posted last week so you have a robo tag team buddy.

wait, what?

that dany scene has me hot and bothered

need a cold shower

be gayer.

 

[Bko]

why not just beat off? it's not that bad

Beating it off doesn't beat

Spoiler

hehe

having a real partner to screw with.

that dany scene has me hot and bothered

need a cold shower

Let me join you in my gayness.

 

[FUME5]

wait, what?

That futuristic (and effective) looking vibe she suggested for Dragonz a while ago. I guess you must have missed it because you didn't complain about the discrepancy in devices for menz and womenz.

Was talking about that with my buddy on the weekend and he mentioned I couldn't know if a fleshlight was better than my hand. I told him I don't need to fuck a tube to know what it's like, plus fuck cleaning one of those things.

 

[Jobbs]

That futuristic (and effective) looking vibe she suggested for Dragonz a while ago. I guess you must have missed it because you didn't complain about the discrepancy in devices for menz and womenz.

Was talking about that with my buddy on the weekend and he mentioned I couldn't know if a fleshlight was better than my hand. I told him I don't need to fuck a tube to know what it's like, plus fuck cleaning one of those things.

Yeah. I know I've said this before but every male sex toy I've seen is somewhere on the scale between awkward and utterly horrifying, usually more towards the latter. Disembodied heads with gaping mouths and blank stares, disembodied vaginas and asses, it's... It's like a horror show. A vagina that lives in a tube is actually one of the least gross ones.

 

[Granadier]

That futuristic (and effective) looking vibe she suggested for Dragonz a while ago. I guess you must have missed it because you didn't complain about the discrepancy in devices for menz and womenz.

Was talking about that with my buddy on the weekend and he mentioned I couldn't know if a fleshlight was better than my hand. I told him I don't need to fuck a tube to know what it's like, plus fuck cleaning one of those things.

The thought of this makes me want to gag.

 

[Misha]

Is that better or worse than a used sock?

 

[Jobbs]

Is that better or worse than a used sock?

I didn't know fucking a sock was a thing.

 

[liliththepale]

 

[Bko]

I only knew about banana peels

 

[Granadier]

Is that better or worse than a used sock?

I've never heard of anyone using a sock. I think that's a myth from media.

I only knew about banana peels

What the fuck.

 

[Misha]

I didn't know fucking a sock was a thing.

Ive only heard one person say he used it seriously but I've definitely heard the joke many times

 

[FUME5]

Is that better or worse than a used sock?

If you just, like, jack off on / into a clean sock and throw it in the wash? Better.

If you've worn it, taken it off and jerked into it? Serial killer.

 

[Misha]

If you just, like, jack off on / into a clean sock and throw it in the wash? Better.

If you've worn it, taken it off and jerked into it? Serial killer.

No no no. Jack off into the sock, stick it under your mattress and come back to it tomorrow

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

 

[FUME5]

I've never heard of anyone using a sock. I think that's a myth from media.

What the fuck.

People use socks dude, hell people use anything. Buddy was dating this girl who was a complete pig (cleaning habits wise) I forget the exact genesis of this story, but basically he'd gotten her off, she wouldn't reciprocate so he jerked off with one of her socks, threw it into the corner where there was a pile of clothes and shit, rolled over and went to sleep.

EDIT

Yes Fish, that hasn't been posted multiple times in that thread you hate already.

No no no. Jack off into the sock, stick it under your mattress and come back to it tomorrow

That's an incredibly disgusting cumrag. I don't know how to rate the two.

 

[Bko]

What the fuck.

Yeah. Cut the banana at the height that would fit your dick, remove the banana itself and then have fun. At least this is what I was told, never used anything else but my hands

Spoiler

and somebody else's mouth

 

[You Know Nothing]

I knew about socks and banana peels.

What the fuck.

It feels really good.

... So I've heard.

 

[Jobbs]

If you just, like, jack off on / into a clean sock and throw it in the wash? Better.

If you've worn it, taken it off and jerked into it? Serial killer.

This is one definite reason I hope to not have a son. If passing along my surname means I have to deal with jizz everywhere for 5 or 6 years it just ain't worth it. I don't care about my surname anyway.

 

[Misha]

Yeah. Cut the banana at the height that would fit your dick, remove the banana itself and then have fun. At least this is what I was told, never used anything else but my hands

Spoiler

and somebody else's mouth

Just to make sure everyone knows, these exist.

 

[FUME5]

This is one definite reason I hope to not have a son. If passing along my surname means I have to deal with jizz everywhere for 5 or 6 years it just ain't worth it. I don't care about my surname anyway.

Just buy a place adjacent a cornfield.

Just to make sure everyone knows, these exist.

And just what do you propose I do with that?

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

Just to make sure everyone knows, these exist.

ethered

 

[You Know Nothing]

Given the turn of conversation, it's time to post this classic again.

 

[Jobbs]

Just to make sure everyone knows, these exist.

Fortunately these also exist

every guy on neogaf will need one like this.

Given the turn of conversation, it's time to post this classic again.

I can't believe for a texas minute that that is true

 

[Granadier]

Hahahahahahahah, I don't care if that's real or not. That's a damn funny story.

 

[liliththepale]

Fortunately these also exist

every guy on neogaf will need one like this.

how curved is your dick that that would work for it?

I can't believe for a texas minute that that is true

It's probably Based On A True Story™

I've been caught with a cucumber before

 

[Granadier]

Curved. Swords.

 

[Jobbs]

how curved is your dick that that would work for it?

I'm not the one who fucks bananas. Ask someone who has done it!

I would imagine there's some give, though

I've been caught with a cucumber before

by who?

and merely getting caught isn't the part I have trouble with. It's her standing there naked getting lectured about buying her own veggies that strains credulity.

 

[You Know Nothing]

I can't believe for a texas minute that that is true

I was so jittery afterwards that I had to finish masturbating just to calm down!

 

[FUME5]

how curved is your dick that that would work for it?



It's probably Based On A True Story™

I've been caught with a cucumber before

That curvature isn't all that extreme.

Also, story time!

 

[Granadier]

This requires a story Lil