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FakeGAF 6: Fear the Walking Thirst
- Thread starter WhereAreMahDragonz
- Start date
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Lennyface
You Know Nothing
Member
The cosmic opening makes me ponder life but it's ruined as soon as Adaline comes on screen.
She needs a new identity because I guess that's how she maintains the facade of her mortality. Anyway she visits this guy:
Oh hey, I've seen you before. Get fucked Murphy. And breaking the law in your own father's house. For shame. And then she gets her fake IDs and Murphy or whatever this fuck's name is compliments her on how she looks (typical fucking patriarchy) and then she goes into this lecture about how he's wasting his life doing stuff like this. Bitch, he just hooked your ass up. But I digress.
She goes home to her dog (omg it's me rn) and this nice music plays. Then she talks to her dog about their soon to be nascent life (so not me) and she leaves for work. She gets in the taxi and then she proceeds to school this ancient man on how to do his job (werk mawmaw.) She goes into work and her boss is a total daddy:
Take me! But I digress again. Then he shows her this box of old news archives and of course she's all over that shit because she was alive during those times. And she goes through and sees all the evocative titles and decides to watch them. And one's about the great San Francisco earthquake of 1906. So we see all this old timey footage of the destruction and Adaline starts yearning for those times. Yes, yearn for the times when women were still property and had less rights than men. whitepeople.png
She was born January 1st, 1908. She's an only child (so shocked) and then she's walking along with her mother in some godforsaken year and loses her hat. But oh wait, this gallant and hot as fuck engineer saves it from oblivion. Of course.
She marries him 87 days later according to the shit narrator because of course she does. Because what other path does a woman have in those times. ANYWAY. She gives birth to her first child three years later and names her Fleming after her grandmother (yikes sis) and then she observes the tragedy of the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge with steely resolve because that's how she is damn it. And of course her husband is among those who died. #pray4Adaline And then she drives to her parents' cottage or some shit and her daughter's waiting for her there and this magical occurrence of snow happens. Wow, I am flabbergasted. And she crashes her car and sinks into the endless abyss to keep Cthulhu company. But wait! Her heart just stopped beating and her breathing slowed but an actinic lightning bolt shocked her back to life and now she'll never age because of some scientific concept that won't be discovered until 2035. Okay then.
Then she encounters someone she knew I guess but oh my god she hasn't aged at all. So she has to hide that fact. And then she gets pulled over and the policeman doesn't believe she's 45 and asks her to bring her birth certificate. And so naturally she runs away. She studies and studies but she can't find any explanation for her condition. A brief interlude to Adaline watching the McCarthy hearings. Now she's walking in the rain, despondent. And later she gets detained by the FBI. And escapes before any tests can be done on her. Time to run again! She tells her daughter she's leaving and that it has to be this way. I'm supposed to feel bad I guess but I feel nothing. So to protect all this she decides to change her name, residence, and appearance every decade and never tell anyone of her tragic fate which you know works okay I guess.
She then attends an elaborate soirée (in the present day) and sees a picture of herself from ye olden days. She's there to support her friend who's blind and a pianist. And of course it's a New Year's Eve party a day before her birthday. They meet some guy who's from l'argent ancien and a "starving" artist and then invite him for a drink. But then BAE shows up:
And of course Adaline immediately wants his dick because hew wouldn't tbh? But oh no he's with someone else at this fete. What's a girl to do? The countdown happens and she gets a call from her daughter. Blah blah blah, I love you, etc. Then some fuccboi tries to pick her up while she's watching the fireworks. She shoots him down (slé queen) and walks off. She leaves the party, gets in the elevator, but oh wait BAE shows up and gets in with her. Flirtation happens by degrees, BAE aka Ellis makes a joke about no man being an island, and then Adaline says her name is Jenny and BAE is all "like the poem?" and then he's like "I don't want to come across as a know-it-all" but she's like "too bad I adore know-it-alls" and leaves him in the elevator. Then he goes after her and clarifies that the woman (named Agnes tragic) isn't his date. Then he follows her outside to the street (in typical fuccboi fashion) and she blows him off and with a terse "goodnight." Then he jokes about trying to figure out where she lives and shit. And she gets in the taxi but he stops it of course. Putting his hand in places it doesn't belong (finger me) but anyway she tells him Happy New Year and gets the fuck out.
Then there's the meeting between Adaline and her daughter. And it kind of makes me emotional tbh. To see that fragility of human existence juxtaposed to the immutable state of Adaline. And her daughter starts talking about moving to a retirement community in Arizona (Em, respond if you're okay) and Adaline is not having it. She wants her daughter close to her and living with her eventually. But her daughter brushes it all off and cue scene change.
She needs a new identity because I guess that's how she maintains the facade of her mortality. Anyway she visits this guy:
Oh hey, I've seen you before. Get fucked Murphy. And breaking the law in your own father's house. For shame. And then she gets her fake IDs and Murphy or whatever this fuck's name is compliments her on how she looks (typical fucking patriarchy) and then she goes into this lecture about how he's wasting his life doing stuff like this. Bitch, he just hooked your ass up. But I digress.
She goes home to her dog (omg it's me rn) and this nice music plays. Then she talks to her dog about their soon to be nascent life (so not me) and she leaves for work. She gets in the taxi and then she proceeds to school this ancient man on how to do his job (werk mawmaw.) She goes into work and her boss is a total daddy:
Take me! But I digress again. Then he shows her this box of old news archives and of course she's all over that shit because she was alive during those times. And she goes through and sees all the evocative titles and decides to watch them. And one's about the great San Francisco earthquake of 1906. So we see all this old timey footage of the destruction and Adaline starts yearning for those times. Yes, yearn for the times when women were still property and had less rights than men. whitepeople.png
She was born January 1st, 1908. She's an only child (so shocked) and then she's walking along with her mother in some godforsaken year and loses her hat. But oh wait, this gallant and hot as fuck engineer saves it from oblivion. Of course.
She marries him 87 days later according to the shit narrator because of course she does. Because what other path does a woman have in those times. ANYWAY. She gives birth to her first child three years later and names her Fleming after her grandmother (yikes sis) and then she observes the tragedy of the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge with steely resolve because that's how she is damn it. And of course her husband is among those who died. #pray4Adaline And then she drives to her parents' cottage or some shit and her daughter's waiting for her there and this magical occurrence of snow happens. Wow, I am flabbergasted. And she crashes her car and sinks into the endless abyss to keep Cthulhu company. But wait! Her heart just stopped beating and her breathing slowed but an actinic lightning bolt shocked her back to life and now she'll never age because of some scientific concept that won't be discovered until 2035. Okay then.
Then she encounters someone she knew I guess but oh my god she hasn't aged at all. So she has to hide that fact. And then she gets pulled over and the policeman doesn't believe she's 45 and asks her to bring her birth certificate. And so naturally she runs away. She studies and studies but she can't find any explanation for her condition. A brief interlude to Adaline watching the McCarthy hearings. Now she's walking in the rain, despondent. And later she gets detained by the FBI. And escapes before any tests can be done on her. Time to run again! She tells her daughter she's leaving and that it has to be this way. I'm supposed to feel bad I guess but I feel nothing. So to protect all this she decides to change her name, residence, and appearance every decade and never tell anyone of her tragic fate which you know works okay I guess.
She then attends an elaborate soirée (in the present day) and sees a picture of herself from ye olden days. She's there to support her friend who's blind and a pianist. And of course it's a New Year's Eve party a day before her birthday. They meet some guy who's from l'argent ancien and a "starving" artist and then invite him for a drink. But then BAE shows up:
And of course Adaline immediately wants his dick because hew wouldn't tbh? But oh no he's with someone else at this fete. What's a girl to do? The countdown happens and she gets a call from her daughter. Blah blah blah, I love you, etc. Then some fuccboi tries to pick her up while she's watching the fireworks. She shoots him down (slé queen) and walks off. She leaves the party, gets in the elevator, but oh wait BAE shows up and gets in with her. Flirtation happens by degrees, BAE aka Ellis makes a joke about no man being an island, and then Adaline says her name is Jenny and BAE is all "like the poem?" and then he's like "I don't want to come across as a know-it-all" but she's like "too bad I adore know-it-alls" and leaves him in the elevator. Then he goes after her and clarifies that the woman (named Agnes tragic) isn't his date. Then he follows her outside to the street (in typical fuccboi fashion) and she blows him off and with a terse "goodnight." Then he jokes about trying to figure out where she lives and shit. And she gets in the taxi but he stops it of course. Putting his hand in places it doesn't belong (finger me) but anyway she tells him Happy New Year and gets the fuck out.
Then there's the meeting between Adaline and her daughter. And it kind of makes me emotional tbh. To see that fragility of human existence juxtaposed to the immutable state of Adaline. And her daughter starts talking about moving to a retirement community in Arizona (Em, respond if you're okay) and Adaline is not having it. She wants her daughter close to her and living with her eventually. But her daughter brushes it all off and cue scene change.
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
No, I am not okay.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
*groans*
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
The gay ritual of trading dick pics happened. From videogame talk to sexual experiences and pic trading.
Is this like dogs sniffing each others butt? I'm horribly uninvolved in gay stuff so sorry for asking
Lol sorta. It was a regular conversation about videogames, daily life, likes and dislikes and then he started talking about how he had to stop wearing skinny jeans because of the bulge the pants would create and I joke and said "that big huh?" and he asked me if I wanted to see and the rest is already known.
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Word of the day:
dirigibles
dirigibles
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Falafelfrog
You Know Nothing
Member
I need a break from this movie. I'm only about a quarter through.
And the word of the day is:
simoom
And the word of the day is:
simoom
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
You Know Nothing
Member
Honestly this movie is chock full of the benevolent stalker trope. Like fuck Ellis, take the hint. And raw me instead.
You Know Nothing
Member
That is the complete opposite of sexy, and is right in the middle of creeptown.
was this seriously shown in theatres?
because i've only had OLD LADIES help me out at hardware stores
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
2 hours and 5 minutes of this shit. I SUFFERED THROUGH 2 HOURS AND 5 MINUTES OF THIS.
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
J.K. Rowling's daughter has apparently "not been sorted into Hufflepuff." Does she actually sort people? She could make so much money having tumblrfolk line up for that.
You Know Nothing
Member
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
LO, BEHOLD AS I FIGHT THIS DEMONLIZARD
I'm really enjoying this game
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
Pottermore, breh.
It always sorts me into Ravenclaw but I'm convinced I'm a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff so
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
I got sorted into Ravenclaw twice on different accounts. Although two/three years back it put me in Slytherin. Probably accurate, I identify with all four houses to some extent though.
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
>
D
Deleted member 10571
Unconfirmed Member
I wanna go to Korea for some reason.
It's pretty pretty though. Art direction goes a long way, especially in MMOs.
Edit: Why did i have that Vaz quote saved in here, and what did I want to quote it for? Hell if I know.
even vazra couldn't deny the hotness of that gif
You Know Nothing
Member
Anyone want Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Strider, or RE Revelations 2 Ep1?
RobotNinjaHornets
Banned
*has house to self*
*watches Mad Max on the big TV*
*watches Mad Max on the big TV*
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