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FakeGAF Book 4: A Game of Thirst

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T

Turin

Banned
Funky Papa said:
Dude is a wreck with a diet based on heroic amounts of hard drugs. There's no good reason to overthink what happened.
Click to expand...

And yet that's exactly what people did.

You Know Nothing said:
The ending of The Road almost made me do the ugly cry. What a book.

So evocative and layered with symbolism. Not to mention just unbelievably eloquent. Incredible.
Click to expand...

Thanks+op+i+have+chrome+_3413e203abfc1d88085c25dcf955e0a3.gif
 
Y

You Know Nothing

Member
Funky Papa said:
Drinking while cold is always a bad idea. Furthermore, it's a waste of perfectly good alcohol. How can you even taste it?
Click to expand...

Oh I could taste it. I went a bit overboard with the rum to Coke ratio. I thought I was dying last night because my nose was running so badly. Then I finally passed out and it's cleared up now.

Funky Papa said:
The only unbelievable thing about True Detective was Alexandra Daddario's bossom
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Even I stared in awe.
 
C

Clydefrog

Member
oh my god this is amazing

I apologize in advance for the sloppiness I'll update when I get to my hotel.

I'll cut to the chase by saying that once I got boarded on my flight to Florida I started to get a little hungry. No big deal I thought since I have some sugar less gummy bears to eat. (I know it sounds gross, but I'm hungry/trying to eat healthier). Well once I oppened the 1 pound bag of them immediately the teenager next to me asked if he could have some. I didn't care because I talked to him once we were borded and he seemed pretty chill plus that bag was one pound and there was no way I was going to do it by myself.

We're going to town on this bag because they aren't that bad actually. I'm sitting in the window seat and this kid is sitting next to me in the isle seat and across the isle is his little brother ( less than 2 years old if I had to guess) and his mother next to him in the window seat across the plane. The toddler is getting all curious so the the teen next to me begins to tear the bears in little pieces to let him have some. Again I didn't really care because the whole family was pretty chill.

By now all three of us are eating some and the bag is running low. The teen showed no signs of stopping so I just asked if he wanted the rest. He agrees and takes it while I try to get some shut eye. The teen follow suit and asks his mom if she wants to keep tearing the little bears up to feed to the garbage disposal of a toddler. The mom starts snacking on them while simultaneously feeding the toddler some. I didn't think much of it because I started to actually fall asleep.

I woke up with the worst feeling in my stomach not 30 minutes later. I take the small blanket I had off over my face and all three of the family memebers are nowhere to be seen. At this point they could have fallen out of the fuckin plane and I wouldn't have cared becaue my stomach was feeling like it was hitting the abort button like I was having the mcgurrgles. I get up and make my way to the bathroom at the front of the plane and I spot the teen that was sitting next to me banging on the door actually Fucking crying. I start to put two and two together that it might be the gummy bears since we all are some. Well after banging on the door the mom and toddler finally come out in a rush with the mother looking like she just served in Vietnam. She's sweating like crazy and starts asking me what the fuck I put in those gummies. I told her straight from up that I had no idea what is going on because I had just bought the bag and didn't do anything to it.

The absolute second I finish my sentence the baby shoots liquid diarrhea out of it's ass like it was being paid to do it. I can't handle shit and some of it even got on my forearm so start to puke. Mid projectile vomit the teen comes out sweating bullets and I rush in their. I sit on the toilet and enter orbit when my ass opened. I swear I lifted off the Fucking seat while simultaneously blowing chunks in the piss station to the right of the toilet.

Once I'm done throwing up I can hear the complete chaos unfolding outside the door. The toddler is hysterical the mom I'd shouting and the stewardess is trying to calm everyone down. I clean up as much as I could and step out of the bathroom and as soon as I did the most putrid smell hit my nose. I assess the damage done by the hershy squirting baby and it was a lot worse than I thought. Not only did the baby manage to shit out of it's onesie and onto my forearm, but also all over the seats in the first row. (Thank god no one was sitting there) as I make my way back to my seat not wanting to look the shit covered mother in the face I notice the baby also left a trail of turds all along the isle leading to her seat.

I got back to my seat and everyone is looking at me like I opened fire on a bag of newborn puppies. I apologized more than I have ever in my life. And explained that I didn't know that gummy bears could do that.

The plane made an emergency landing and everyone got off the plane because the smell was too much. I went to the airport bathroom to freshen up and once I got back I look at the plane I had just gotten off and they literally had guys in hazmat suits going in with cleaning supplies. I have never been more ashamed in my entire life and I'm literally shaking right now.

TLDR: sugarless gummy bears created an ungodly scene 30,000 ft in the air.
Click to expand...

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/30iplc/tifu_by_eating_gummy_bears_on_a_plane/
 
R

Risgroo

Member
Just started Ori and the Blind forest, since I need a happy game to play when Bloodborne breaks me. This is not a happy game.
latest


And now Zelda Wii U is delayed.
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Y

You Know Nothing

Member
Bitch, I could tell it wouldn't be a happy game just from the OST.

And they've pushed back Zelda Wii U because they're secretly converting it to the NX. Crazy gaming threads are the greatest.
 
R

Risgroo

Member
Maybe happy isn't the right word, but I wanted it to make me feel a little better after Bloodborne. Instead that intro ruined my day ;(
Game is gud tho, get into it.

And Zelda's obviously turning into a mobile game. Refill your arrows for just $5!
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Abraham Ford imparts some real world wisdom in The Walking Dead for all of you motherdicks.

tYSi8EU.jpg


I'm honestly surprised by how enjoyable this season turned out to be after the shit monsoon of S1 to S4.
 
C

Clydefrog

Member
I think I've got some conjunctivitis going on. Area is swollen, a bit painful to blink and looks like I'm constantly crying ;( lol

I wish I knew what shit I am allergic to. I was fine as a child but now it seems allergy season hits me within random occurence.
 
L

Linius

Member
Funky Papa said:
Abraham Ford imparts some real world wisdom in The Walking Dead for all of you motherdicks.

tYSi8EU.jpg


I'm honestly surprised by how enjoyable this season turned out to be after the shit monsoon of S1 to S4.
Click to expand...

I need to watch the finale still but so far it's been quite entertaining.
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
You Know Nothing said:
Still never getting into it. #zombieoverkill
Click to expand...

Clydefrog said:
I think I've got some conjunctivitis going on. Area is swollen, a bit painful to blink and looks like I'm constantly crying ;( lol

I wish I knew what shit I am allergic to. I was fine as a child but now it seems allergy season hits me within random occurence.
Click to expand...

Currently going through a phase of otitis externa because fuck Spring allergies. But mostly because I'm a moron and I love q-tips way too much for my own good.

Linius said:
I need to watch the finale still but so far it's been quite entertaining.
Click to expand...
Make some time for it. It was not perfect, but it was certainly very enjoyable. I was close to drop the show altogether a number of times, but this season has been pretty damn solid at last.
 
C

Clydefrog

Member
Argh!!! Got a flat tire today while out for lunch. I was driving along and quickly noticed that dreadful sound “drubba drubba drubba” so I pulled over. The tread was tearing on the front right tire. Son of a bitch. I changed it to the tiny spare I have and am hitting up Costco after work now. I bought this set of tires 2 years ago so hopefully it’s all under warranty.

It was funny because this little old lady and her dog walked by me four times in the 15 minutes it took me to change the tire. In my mind I was like “WTF, you again?!”

MONDAYS
 
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