Interactivity can be just as powerful, if not more powerful, when your asked to take control of someone you can't relate to or are diametrically opposed to their actions. By the time I got to the end of TLOU or Spec Ops I wasn't exactly relating to their actions or treating them like my bros, and it's because of that why those stories were so impactful.
I definitely don't want to come off as saying that I can never get into male characters, and TLOU is absolutely a great example of one that I enjoyed. The Silent Hill series is another. It's all just personal tastes. My problem is, the amount of games where I don't care about the male protagonist or his story greatly outweigh the ones where I do, because I think gaming has a lot of pretty terrible characters.
I think one of the powerful parts of video games is that engrossing stories can be told using characters we have control over. Not saying that's how it should always go, but I find myself more and more interested in that side. Why? Because gaming provides me so few protagonists I care about.
I also don't want to say that games don't have the power to force us to play characters we aren't, and in the process teach us about a different way of looking at life. I think games are very, very powerful in that regard, and I think games
should use more of their power to offer players the chance to step out of their shoes and into those of someone else.
My complaint - and maybe this isn't totally fair - is that so many of those characters that I see are 20~30 year old heterosexual white men. Gaming has a great opportunity that it does a poor job of making the most of. If gaming's protagonists were more diverse, I think I'd be more okay with having characters who I had little creative control over.
Uhm, i'm sure a great deal of connection to the character is very much required for movies, too.
Besides, i'm sure you agree gender and race aren't the only elements that help you bond with a character, and you can very much empathize with a character of a different gender and race from yours.
And they feel like the control of the story must remain in their hands to a degree, since they have no problem in letting you customize you character (gender and race included) in the multiplayer, where there is no strong narrative lead.
With that said, i am absolutely not against more variety in representation, if anything because more variety is usually more interesting and fun to explore.
I don't know, maybe I just come at movies and games differently. For film or TV, of course I need (to some level) characters I can care about, but what I'm looking for from characters there is different. They need to be interesting, they need to add something to the story, they need to have reason for being there. If they fit those kind of criteria, they can be characters I'd otherwise never have much attraction to or interest in.
Like, for example, I love a good bad guy in movies or TV, but I
hate playing a bad guy in video games. When I'm in direct control of a character, my attitude totally changes. What I want from that character and what I need in order to connect with them are very different. I
need to directly connect with the character in some way, or else it's hard for me to care about getting them through their story. I don't come at passive media the same way, so I don't have nearly the same level of needs.