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How Steve Jobs would have presented Wii U at E3

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ULTROS!

ULTROS!

People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.
SolarPowered said:
Read the entire OP and it's sensible. Marc is still kinda scaring me though.

Current day Nintendo really makes it hard for their fans sometimes. I wonder if Snesfreak will snap now. <.<
Click to expand...

Now I'm genuinely curious what will happen to the crazy Nintendo fans if the Wii U flops hard.

Not that I want it to flop anyway.
 
S

SpacePirate Ridley

Member
jetsetfluken said:
Is this confirmation that everyone using a Kid Icarus Uprising avatar is mentally unstable and "biased" towards a certain company?
Click to expand...

I have a confirmation over the years that all the people with Naruto avatars (thank god not many in this forum) are sony fanboys.
There has to be a scientific theory about this.
 
R

REMEMBER CITADEL

Banned
Pie and Beans said:
I think the proviso has to be its dead public speakers known for cultural revolution so you've got options like Hitler extolling the virtues of Wünderbook while Martin Luther King Jr would preps an audience for "the promised land of controller free gaming".
Click to expand...

Let's do "Sigmund Freud introducing the Wiimote" while we're at it.
 
K

KillerTravis

Banned
ULTROS! said:
Now I'm genuinely curious what will happen to the crazy Nintendo fans if the Wii U flops hard.

Not that I want it to flop anyway.
Click to expand...

We will make Fanfics of people going crazy on the streets trying to buy one of course. Painting Xbox and PS3s in white so they can pretend they have a Wii U.
 
M

Mistle

Member
jetsetfluken said:
reggie111hj1x.png
Click to expand...
KuGsj.gif


stills of reggie never fail to make me laugh. just something about him
 
J

jetsetfluken

Member
Pie and Beans said:
Its the sort of deluded sense of subtlety that tastes the most ironic when avatar, post history, and everything combined tell a terrible tale that cannot be denied. I also wish ages were mandatorily listed underneath poster's avatars. I feel bad if we're ribbing a teenager but then become worried when its someone in their late twenties and beyond.
Click to expand...

The increased frequency of posting and threads by this user in the last month can only signal one thing: summer vacation from school.

Really though, this is the kind of posting I'd not bat an eye at on a place like GameFAQs or a Nintendo fansite, but GAF?

It was also kind of a revelation to me when I was contributing to the Zelda Wiki months ago to find most of the active users (listed in their profiles) on there were 16/17 or under.
 
S

shinra-bansho

Member
MuseManMike said:
I thought this was going to be a hilarious parody. I kept reading and it never came.
Click to expand...
That's what I expected to see too when I clicked the thread. I didn't realise who the OP was until afterwards, at which point I just scrolled past to the reaction posts...

It's nearly 4.5K words...
 
R

rdrr gnr

Member
SpacePirate Ridley said:
I have a confirmation over the years that all the people with Naruto avatars (thank god not many in this forum) are sony fanboys.
There has to be a scientific theory about this.
Click to expand...
Meh. Not too hard to make those connections. Avatars reflect something about said individual. I would absolutely agree that Nintendo fans are the most transparent. I can see that Naruto connection as well. Into Japanese-type culture -- maybe third party stuff when it comes to gaming -- thus, Sony.
shinra-bansho said:
That's what I expected to see too when I clicked the thread. I didn't realise who the OP was until afterwards, at which point I just scrolled past to the reaction posts...

It's nearly 4.5K words...
Click to expand...
Yeah. I did the same check. It's about 11 pages formatted .
 
M

marc^o^

Nintendo's Pro Bono PR Firm
Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.
 
H

Holy Order Sol

Member
The fuck did I just skim through. I know we're supposed to actually read OPs here, but sometimes mental self-preservation kicks in in the process.
 
D

danmaku

Member
marc^o^ said:
Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.
Click to expand...

If you wanted GAF to go crazy for the WiiU you should've made some changes to the console, too.

Or just give up (the only sane thing to do).
 
C

Corto

Member
marc^o^ said:
Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.
Click to expand...

You're absolutely right, but it had more to do with Jobs own personality than of Apple presentation policy. Jobs was passionate about those products and that passion transpired through the whole presentation.
 
G

goomba

Banned
Steve jobs didn't give a shit about gaming.

I think your writing actually has potential from an advertising / PR point of view. Makes
Me wonder if Reggie even writes the speeches
He makes ?.
 
S

shinra-bansho

Member
S

StoppedInTracks

Member
What is this thread.

Isn't Jobs and Apple the biggest enemy of Nintendo (iPad vs 3DS)?

Now you are dreaming about your own worst enemy to buy you out and be the head of your company?

Oh wait you dream about a DECEASED enemy?

You want Zombie Jobs to kick Iwata out?

C'mon son.
 
G

grimshawish

Banned
marc^o^ said:
Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.
Click to expand...

Miyamoto came out with Pikmin.
(which I've just learnt is his main picture on Wikipedia :D)

Shigeru_2012.png


Jobs was repetitive (hence why you were able to reproduce it so easily). Reggie talked enough; they should have less awkward moments and just show us stuff.
 
S

superfamicom

Banned
It would have been exactly the same presentation but the price would have been revealed as $499.99 and a bunch of suckers would start lining up outside an Apple store the very moment.
 
J

jetsetfluken

Member
Ledsen said:
LOL

This is a day I&#8217;ve been looking forward to for two-and-a-half years.[0:26:28]

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Apple has been &#8211; well, first of all, one&#8217;s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Apple&#8217;s been very fortunate. It&#8217;s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 1984, we introduced the Macintosh. It didn&#8217;t just change Apple, it changed the whole computer industry.[0:27:12]
In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and&#8230; it didn&#8217;t just &#8211; it didn&#8217;t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we&#8217;re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mobile phone. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. [0:28:44]
An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone &#8230; are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. [0:29:19]
Today, today Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we&#8217;re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]
Click to expand...

I'm going to translate that into Nintendo:

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Nintendo has been &#8211; well, first of all, one&#8217;s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Nintendo&#8217;s been very fortunate. It&#8217;s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 2006, we introduced the Wii. It didn&#8217;t just change Nintendo, it changed the whole gaming industry.[0:27:12]
In 2010, we introduced the first 3DS, and&#8230; it didn&#8217;t just &#8211; it didn&#8217;t just change the way we all see 3D, it changed the entire 3D industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we&#8217;re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen Pikmin with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mini-game collection. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications service called Miiverse.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen Pikmin with touch controls; a revolutionary mini-game collection; and a breakthrough Internet communications service called Miiverse. [0:28:44]
A new Pikmin, a mini-game collection, and an Internet communicator. A new Pikmin, a mini-game collection &#8230; are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate things, this is one thing, and we are calling it Wii U. [0:29:19]
Today, today Nintendo is going to reinvent the game, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we&#8217;re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]
 
C

CorrisD

badchoiceboobies
jonny_boi said:
This is literally Steve Jobs' 2007 keynote for the iPhone with the Wii U replacing the word "iPhone". LOL
Click to expand...

AwakenedCloud said:
Oh my god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svo45oepsI0

He even added the pauses.
Click to expand...

Ledsen said:
LOL

This is a day I’ve been looking forward to for two-and-a-half years.[0:26:28]

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Apple has been – well, first of all, one’s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Apple’s been very fortunate. It’s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 1984, we introduced the Macintosh. It didn’t just change Apple, it changed the whole computer industry.[0:27:12]
In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and… it didn’t just – it didn’t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we’re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mobile phone. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. [0:28:44]
An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone … are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. [0:29:19]
Today, today Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we’re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]
Click to expand...

Dat fan fiction plagiarism, lol.
 
T

Tim the Wiz

Banned
jonny_boi said:
This is literally Steve Jobs' 2007 keynote for the iPhone with the Wii U replacing the word "iPhone". LOL
Click to expand...

Kinda makes me feel better for laughing like a crazed hyena. But still insane. There's so many innumerable productive things you could do besides plagiarize-craft Nintendo/Jobs slash fanfic. I mean, why?
 
M

Majine

Banned
Steve Jobs on Wii U would've been like "Check out this really cool way of displaying your own pictures! *50 minutes later* Ok, here is A game... ok, we done!"
 
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