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[Easy_D]

I think Job's presentation of the Wii U would have gone more like:

.

 

[Shahed]

Dear god... Or should I say dear job?

I'd hope it was a job, but I'm not so sure. I mean all 3 hardware manufacturers will more than likely employ viral marieters in message boards and the like, so will the bigger publishers.

However Nintendo fans tend to be on the passionate side compared to their respective counterparts. I wouldn't be surprised if they do it because that's how much they care...

 

[flyinpiranha]

I survived the Dreamcast, don't worry for me. Posting positive things about Wii U is normal for a passionate Nintendo gamer. There are also negative threads on this board, and it forms a fair balance.

If you actually put time into it instead of basically just copy/pasting like a freshman trying to get a 10 page paper in the day before it's due, you may have gotten a little credit. But seeing as you basically just replaced iPhone with Wii U, it's kind of sad you tried to push it off as something 'you' did.

 

[H_Prestige]

Did you just copy the iPhone speech? The first few lines are exactly the same.

I hope for his sake he actually did just copy a speech and simply replaced words. If he actually made up an entire speech from scratch that would have been far more concerning.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

The real world doesn't work on Fox News logic.

If there is overwhelming criticism, it probably points to the reality that there are problems with the platform. If you see a need to participate in the positive position and spin pro bono for a corporation, I mean, wtf?

Neogaf doesn't equal the real world.

 

[Schweinehund]

If Gilbert Gottfried presented the Wii U...

 

[marc^o^]

If you actually put time into it instead of basically just copy/pasting like a freshman trying to get a 10 page paper in the day before it's due, you may have gotten a little credit. But seeing as you basically just replaced iPhone with Wii U, it's kind of sad you tried to push it off as something 'you' did.

I don't know where you get the impression I pushed it as something I did. There are lots of copy paste here, not only from steve jobs transcripts but also from gaming websites. The point is not to make an essay and have a good mark, but to show how much more effective a presentation can and should be when you launch a product.

 

[dc89]

Did you just copy the iPhone speech? The first few lines are exactly the same.

Yup

 

[Kurdel]

Neogaf doesn't equal the real world.

thisisneogaf.gif. Could have been a great reponse aswell.

 

[Huff]

Neogaf doesn't equal the real world.

thank god

 

[Risk Breaker]

I know I'm late but... holy shit.

 

[10k]

 

[MormaPope]

The real world doesn't work on Fox News logic.

If there is overwhelming criticism, it probably points to the reality that there are problems with the platform. If you see a need to participate in the positive position and spin pro bono for a corporation, I mean, wtf?

This is a really hard thing for people to swallow. And instead of die hard Nintendo fans understanding that logic, Nintendo/whatever is somehow in some sort of sacred territory where they can make obvious mistakes that "don't affect me" and any problems Nintendo has don't exist.

Real life Gaf example:

"Pikman 3 doesn't have online multiplayer? Pfffttttt, I play local mulitplayer anyway because it's a lot more fun than playing online with random people. Besides, was Pikman mulitplayer even important?"

 

[BlackJace]

I refuse to believe this is real life.

Marc^o^ you make fine discussions and all, but this is ridonkculous, bro.

 

[shinra-bansho]

I don't know where you get the impression I pushed it as something I did.

Nintendo E3 conference was so bad. Two days ago, I wondered how Steve Jobs would have done it. And here is the result.
I don't own a blog, otherwise I would have linked to it. Hope the mods will let me host it here

Enjoy the read!

:/

 

[GDGF]

Foolishly i'm going to grant you your wish at the expense of my own sanity and pride.

JR: Boy do we have a great conference for you tonight folks, we are live at the E3 Arena, i'm joined by Jerry the King Lawler and Michael Cole here at stage side for what is sure to be monumental evening.
King: I don't know about you JR but i'm looking forward to those booth babes more than anything!
Cole: We kick off with the longest running company in the Games entertainment miiverse™ as Nintendo takes the stage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYe4YpgHI7k

JR: And here we go with the president Iwata.
King: I'm getting goosebumps JR, just think of all the massive new games to be announced!
Iwata: It's all about the money! which is why instead of bringing you new upcoming stars in new franchises I'm going to give the masses what they want which is why we have not one, not two but three main event Mario titles to show you tonight!
*cue mixed reaction from the audience, cheers from kids and casuals, boos from the "hardcore"*
Cole: OH LISTEN TO THAT OVATION FOR MORE MARIO, NOTHING BUT CHEERS! VINTAGE NINTENDO!
Iwata: I will now pass things over the Mister Miyamoto, and let me just say to Miyamoto if you don't present EXACTLY what I told you to YOU'RE FIRED!
JR: BAH GAWD HIS CAREER IS ON THE LINE KING! THIS IS SICK!
Cole: How will Miyamaoto handle his presentation? find out after the break and numerous recaps of what just happened.

*Break*

JR: And we are back folks returning with shocking news, Miyamoto will be fired if he doesn't adhere to Iwata's mystery demands.
King: Well i'm sure it's still something history making, speaking of which here comes the money Miyamoto.
Miyamoto: Today I came to talk to you about Pikm-
MY BODY IS READY
JR: Business has just picked up, it's Reggie!
Cole: Miyamoto didn't even have time to announce his product, speaking of which lets take out the time now to shill advertising, GAF Gold, for the premium Gaf experience you gotta go Gold!
King: I just want to know what the game was!
Reggie: You know Mister Miyamoto, you no longer understand THIS BUSINESS, be a man and announce the real product, the product that the people want!
*Miyamoto looks as if he's having an inner crisis*
Reggie: ANNOUNCE THE GAME NOW OR YOU'RE FIRED!
Miyamoto: NO! I'm not taking orders from you or Iwata, the new game is Pikmi-
*Reggie hits Miyamoto with a Wii U gamepad from behind*
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! this is heinous! that cowardly Reggie, I thought I knew him, I thought he was one of the good guys but he's not the man I thought he was, that no good SOB
Cole: what a nerd that Miyamoto is, about time he got his attitude adjusted.
Reggie: I'll just take matters into my own hands, the new game is Nintendo Land! It's all you need and all you deserve!
*Massive boos from E3 Audience*
JR: AWWW DAMMIT! This was a setup all along, they'll be hell to pay next week!
Cole: What are you talking about? this is great, this is just what all these idiots need to understand the greatness of this company.

And then Wrasslegaf commence the weekly venting, or maybe marking out over Reggie's heel turn. Ignore the fact Pikmin 3 was actually announced, i'm creating riveting high drama here.

Holy shit that was a fun read.

 

[herod]

Again, none of which were flagship products, all of which were at least good concepts.

The Wii U is Nintendo's iPhone. It's the future of the company.

Mac Cube Introductory price $1799

lol

 

[InsaneLuchador]

He wouldn't have, he'd have scrapped it long ago.

agreed.

 

[i-Lo]

This is a really hard thing for people to swallow. And instead of die hard Nintendo fans understanding that logic, Nintendo/whatever is somehow in some sort of sacred territory where they can make obvious mistakes that "don't affect me" and any problems Nintendo has don't exist.

Real life Gaf example:

"Pikman 3 doesn't have online multiplayer? Pfffttttt, I play local mulitplayer anyway because it's a lot more fun than playing online with random people. Besides, was Pikman mulitplayer even important?"

This kind of justification comes from fanboys backing any of the consoles.

LOL

This is a day I’ve been looking forward to for two-and-a-half years.[0:26:28]

Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes along that changes everything. And Apple has been – well, first of all, one’s very fortunate if you get to work on just one of these in your career.
Apple’s been very fortunate. It’s been able to introduce a few of these into the world.
In 1984, we introduced the Macintosh. It didn’t just change Apple, it changed the whole computer industry.[0:27:12]
In 2001, we introduced the first iPod, and… it didn’t just – it didn’t just change the way we all listen to music, it changed the entire music industry. [0:27:36]
Well, today, we’re introducing three revolutionary products of this class. [0:27:48]

The first one: is a widescreen iPod with touch controls. [0:27:59]
The second: is a revolutionary mobile phone. [0:28:13]
And the third is a breakthrough Internet communications device.[0:28:28]

So, three things: a widescreen iPod with touch controls; a revolutionary mobile phone; and a breakthrough Internet communications device. [0:28:44]
An iPod, a phone, and an Internet communicator. An iPod, a phone … are you getting it? [0:29:01]
These are not three separate devices, this is one device, and we are calling it iPhone. [0:29:19]
Today, today Apple is going to reinvent the phone, and here it is. [0:29:30]
No, actually here it is, but we’re gonna leave it there for now. [0:29:41]

Wow, I didn't realize the amount of plagiarism present. If others hadn't pointed it out, I'd have never known. I surprised this kind of blatant rip off that misled me and many others is so okay here.

Earlier I stated that it's a mark of OP's obsession to have written up such a long passionate piece. And even though I found some parts weird and I don't agree with the subjective points made in that essay, I at least recognized, what I thought was, originality.

So now, I'll just leave it at, fuck the plagiarized article.

 

[H_Prestige]

agreed.

Yeah, he would have taken the ipad guts, stuffed em into a box and sync it with an iphone as the controller. And then tell us how magical and revolutionary it was. He would then proceed to demo angry birds.

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

This is a really hard thing for people to swallow. And instead of die hard Nintendo fans understanding that logic, Nintendo/whatever is somehow in some sort of sacred territory where they can make obvious mistakes that "don't affect me" and any problems Nintendo has don't exist.

Real life Gaf example:

"Pikman 3 doesn't have online multiplayer? Pfffttttt, I play local mulitplayer anyway because it's a lot more fun than playing online with random people. Besides, was Pikman mulitplayer even important?"

Exactly. There are far too many people who seem unable to make the distinction between "options" and "alternatives". Expanding on your example, the Mario Party series has been the victim of this plenty of times. Die-hard Nintendo defenders will argue that Mario Party doesn't need online, as it's better when played locally with friends. No shit; of course it is. But online isn't an alternative to local multiplayer, it would be an additional option for those of us who have friends we can't play with locally. People used to say the same thing about the Mario Kart series, and look how many people now play those games online.

Arguing that a game doesn't need X and Y because the game is fine with just X is absolutely ludicrous.

This kind of mentality isn't exclusive to Nintendo fanboys, but it's certainly common among them.

 

[KAOz]

This is some creepy-pasta shit...

I... just, I don't.... what...?

That was at least, very..... interesting.

 

[Tobor]

I get that their presentation skills are god awful, but what's so bad about the product that Jobs would have killed it before it ever saw daylight? How would he have designed the next gen console?

Forgetting the fact that he hated buttons and wouldn't bother with this anyway, the concept is weird since you're tied to the console to have it operate. You can transfer the game video to the tablet, but the kid can't take the tablet to their room without moving the whole console. That's fundamentally flawed and confusing.

Ideally, the tablet would be the console and stream to the TV. That way it's completely portable and sends a clear message to consumers.

"It's a gaming handheld, it's a gaming console, it's a media center...are you getting it?"

 

[drspeedy]

If Gilbert Gottfried presented the Wii U...

So much prefer the WiiU Larry the the cable guy preso...

'Gotu 'er didu!'

 

[marc^o^]

:/

I thought most people would have instantly recognized this. It's a classic. But I must be too much of an Apple fan.

 

[Riposte]

A zombie Steve Jobs presenting the Wii U at E3 is probably something you'd see on bath salts, but then again the OP was probably on bath salts when he made this thread.

 

[MormaPope]

This kind of justification comes from fanboys backing any of the consoles.

True, it's just been really hard to discuss or analyze Nintendo in most threads on Gaf.

Exactly. There are far too many people who seem unable to make the distinction between "options" and "alternatives". Expanding on your example, the Mario Party series has been the victim of this plenty of times. Die-hard Nintendo defenders will argue that Mario Party doesn't need online, as it's better when played locally with friends. No shit; of course it is. But online isn't an alternative to local multiplayer, it would be an additional option for those of us who have friends we can't play with locally. People used to say the same thing about the Mario Kart series, and look how many people now play those games online.

Arguing that a game doesn't need X and Y because the game is fine with just X is absolutely ludicrous.

This kind of mentality isn't exclusive to Nintendo fanboys, but it's certainly common among them.

Thank you for agreeing with me and expanding on what I said.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

Exactly. There are far too many people who seem unable to make the distinction between "options" and "alternatives". Expanding on your example, the Mario Party series has been the victim of this plenty of times. Die-hard Nintendo defenders will argue that Mario Party doesn't need online, as it's better when played locally with friends. No shit; of course it is. But online isn't an alternative to local multiplayer, it would be an additional option for those of us who have friends we can't play with locally. People used to say the same thing about the Mario Kart series, and look how many people now play those games online.

Arguing that a game doesn't need X and Y because the game is fine with just X is absolutely ludicrous.

This kind of mentality isn't exclusive to Nintendo fanboys, but it's certainly common among them.

Agreed. Anybody arguing this is drinking that special powerade provided by said company.

 

[H_Prestige]

Forgetting the fact that he hated buttons and wouldn't bother with this anyway, the concept is weird since you're tied to the console to have it operate. You can transfer the game video to the tablet, but the kid can't take the tablet to their room without moving the whole console. That's fundamentally flawed and confusing.

Ideally, the tablet would be the console and stream to the TV. That way it's completely portable and sends a clear message to consumers.

"It's a gaming handheld, it's a gaming console, it's a media center...are you getting it?"

It's not a tablet computer, it's a controller, just like the same shit on 360 and ps3. Of course it's going to be tied to the system.

That they're positioning it as something like a tablet for the wii only shows how much they suck at presenting. And that they're also disingenuous.

They should have presented the console first, do an overview of the specs, talk about the controller and its screen. And then go ahead and demo what could be done with it.

 

[Bisnic]

I thought most people would have instantly recognized this. It's a classic. But I must be too much of an Apple fan.

Yeah i think your OP was already proof enough of how much you're a fan.

 

[Faber College]

Meanwhile, In OP's mind:

 

[Tobor]

It's not a tablet computer, it's a controller, just like the same shit on 360 and ps3. Of course it's going to be tied to the system.

That they're positioning it as something like a tablet for the wii only shows how much they suck at presenting. And that they're also disingenuous.

They should have presented the console first, do an overview of the specs, talk about the controller and its screen. And then go ahead and demo what could be done with it.

That's why Jobs would have killed it.

 

[Pinko Marx]

I thought most people would have instantly recognized this. It's a classic. But I must be too much of an Apple fan.

And too much of a Nintendo fan.

 

[Skiesofwonder]

True, it's just been really hard to discuss or analyze Nintendo in most threads on Gaf.

Sadly It's like that with any of the big three (and other big companies). I love my Vita, but god forbid I bring up anything negative about it in a Vita-specific thread before and during the launch period (It is different now because I think everybody has finally come to the realization of the faith of the Vita for now). And the online argument can go both ways; bring up lack of local competitive play with any of the huge FPSs on the HD Twins, and your most likely response is something like "who gives a shit? Everybody plays online now!".

 

[pantsmith]

Screw the haters marc^o^, you're the hero Nintendoland deserves.

Hopefully they'll build a statue for you by the main fountain.

 

[strem]

Not in a million years would I read that wall of text.

 

[flyinpiranha]

I don't know where you get the impression I pushed it as something I did. There are lots of copy paste here, not only from steve jobs transcripts but also from gaming websites. The point is not to make an essay and have a good mark, but to show how much more effective a presentation can and should be when you launch a product.

From the very opening of your thread:


Nintendo E3 conference was so bad. Two days ago, I wondered how Steve Jobs would have done it. And here is the result.
I don't own a blog, otherwise I would have linked to it. Hope the mods will let me host it here

Enjoy the read!

Sorry if I thought you wrote it.

 

[marc^o^]

Sorry if I thought you wrote it.

OK.

And too much of a Nintendo fan.

My philosophy is, a moment enjoyed is not wasted. And by the way, Nintendo make some people happy, others angry. Some spend 10X more time through the year posting what they don't like about Nintendo, than what it took me to write this.

If you read the OP and think it was not a much better presentation than what they had, then I'm sorry. I don't feel sorry though for writing something I'm passionate about.

 

[velvet_nitemare]

Look fanboys wanabees, that's how you do it.

Taking that shit to a whole 'nother level.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Did anyone make an audio version yet...?

 

[Instro]

Can't wait for your Steve Jobs/Reggie fan fiction.

OTP

 

[Levyne]

Shine on you crazy diamond

 

[Zia]

LOL.

I don't even put that much effort into stuff I'm paid to write.

 

[mantidor]

I...

I don't know what to say.

First of all: FUCK ALL OF YOU HATERS.
Stop hating. This is Neogaf. You are better than this hive mind bullshit. And "you dont get anything better to do" angle? REALLY? You are all on a video game forum. You're all time wasting timebags! It's time to stop pointing fingers... steve!

What the hell is wrong with you? I thought it was a great satirical piece. And I am not being condecending, or sarcastic. The OP brings out a good point. All the press conferences where really shitty at creating hype for their products.


Steve Jobs was really good at focusing on the positive things. He was good - like a politician at repeating the things. It was like every time he said the name of his product - Iphone, Macbook, Ipad. It all reinforced peoples "me too" thoughts. Studies have been shown that participants who witness the showing of a new apple product have increased brain activity in the same regions as someone who is having profound religious/spiritual thoughts. Does that make Steve Jobs a god? Possibly, but it also proves that Nintendo have lost their way of marketing themselves.

Ok this post has an almost "I'm an expert" level.




On a more serious note, I really doubt this is what makes apple products succesful. I mean the speeches and that, the E3 was lacking but I really doubt the Wii U won't be a sucess, and given the initial reaction to the Wii and how that panned out, all those predictions of doom just make me laugh. If theres a company that knows what is doing, is Nintendo.

 

[Tookay]

I think Job's presentation of the Wii U would have gone more like:

Well, currently, yes.

 

[thefil]

It certainly did make the product sound much more interesting and exciting.

Also, creative remixing is a totally valid form of expression, guys.

 

[Cursed Frogurt]

 

[ismk]

This has to be one of the creepier OP I've seen on NeoGAF.

 

[gamergirly]

That's about right. My feelings exactly lol

 

[thetrin]

GAF is not a blog.